Regret Not A Thing
by Mizerable
Summary: Even in my darkest hour, your hand still found mine.
1. Ch 1: At the End of the Day

Author's Notes: Well, here I am returning to the Naruto fanfiction realm. This is a story that's been rotting on my hard drive for almost a year now so I thought I'd start posting it. Timeline wise, this story takes the day Sasuke left and just jumps off the deep end. I'd say spoilers through what we learn in Kakashi Gaiden (ch 244) but there will be likely be references to what's currently going on in the manga. I hope I still manage to entertain my readers, though once again I will warn that this story will have its dark moments so sensitive readers proceed with caution.

With Thanks,

Mizerable

* * *

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 1: At the End of the Day

The last memory most people could recall of Sasuke had been a good one.

He arrived to the Chuunin Exam with a flashy entrance and gave a stellar fighting performance. It's a shame those memories were soon clouded by the fog of war that followed.

Those who actually knew him could not share the same sentiment.

Kakashi remembers anger and defiance. He remembers venomous words being spat in his face. He foolishly believed he could save his student from making a terrible choice, only to learn later that he'd failed. Horribly.

Sakura remembers cold words and an overwhelming sense of abandonment. She remembers wishing that she could make a difference for once. Maybe if she'd been a little stronger, Sasuke might have accepted her help. Now she had lost the one who mattered most and could share his same feelings of loss and betrayal. She understood him oh-so-perfectly now. But what did it _matter_ now? It didn't end up changing a goddamn thing.

Naruto had been the last one.

And he remembers it.

He can look anyone in the eye these days, and he will _know_ it.

More than the sting of wounds, Naruto remembers his face. It hadn't been the one he'd grown so accustomed to in his lifetime. It wasn't the one the others saw in fragments of this bad dream, either. His skin was the color of dirt, his hair was smeared ash. Before the last hit burned at his chest, Naruto thought he'd caught something important flicker in his opponent's eyes. Thought he saw something that still resembled the person he used to know.

And _that_ is what kills him.

Even if it wasn't true. Naruto cursed himself for being such an optimistic fool. It had all been a lie. Everything he'd been told that last day was a lie. Sasuke dared to even say they were the best of friends before…before…

No. They were never friends. They could never have been friends.

The bond of what might-have-been was shattered irreparably but Naruto didn't feel any stronger for it.

He just felt…empty.

* * *

It was truly a horrid sight to behold.

The stench of burned air and saturated earth clawed its way into the sinuses. It forced eyes to water and left bile on their tongues. This unparticular place in the woods had borne witness to a cataclysmic battle, the likes of which that had not been seen in quite some time. Though one could suppose, judging from the damage, such events weren't prone to even having survivors left to tell the tale.

It did, evidently, have its share of casualties unsurprisingly. A torn piece of singed fabric clung to a branch. Unassuming as it was, the black and red material gave a possible indication to who its former owner had likely been. The patches of dying black flames in the surrounding area made for far less subtle evidence. In the distance, a whistle signaled a body had been located. In what could be called a clearing, the group descended upon the site in hopes of putting an end to their suspicions.

The remains of the person were in poor shape, though not completely beyond identification. The eyes were gone, though the residual membrane splattered around the sockets suggested they were stabbed out rather than stolen. The figure was crumpled around the ninja-tou that impaled it. The body fell around the blade in a way that suggested the person had been kneeling at the time of death. It garnered some suspicion as to why the body was then pierced through the stomach rather than being stabbed from behind, or possibly decapitated, if this was an execution. It almost appeared as if the person had—

There was nothing a person could really say. No one could rightly believe they were saddened by this death. And yet, it was difficult to admit these moments were passing completely without grief. Here was a young man that could have had it all. He _did _have everything at one point in time. But it hadn't been the "right kind" of everything, it seemed. He cast away everything, yet what did it ever really gain him?

A gruesome death, apparently.

Kakashi stared at the body for a good long while. He wasn't studying the forensics or contemplating what he would detail in his report. At this very moment, he merely tried to wrap his mind around the fact that Uchiha Itachi was dead. It was a simply unfathomable thought to entertain. It was even more difficult to imagine who Itachi just might have fought at the end. Obviously one name in particular pulled itself to the forefront. One inescapable name that never really left, he supposed.

"It really is the end of an era."

Kakashi nodded dumbly, having no retort for Gai this time. The body before him had once been a great prodigy, even his commanding Anbu captain so long ago. Even Itachi himself seemed incapable of escaping the tragedy that pooled around the Uchiha Clan. Though he could only speculate if Itachi found any satisfaction at the end of his road. And he wondered—

"There's a survivor!"

Kakashi charged through the trees, past burning wood and over blood-slick grass. His feet turned to lead and fell heavy against the ground, the same shock that held the others rooted in place. The person they found was backed against a tree, completely composed and silent despite carrying grave injuries…But that wasn't what Kakashi and the others focused on. It was the eye, the one that didn't seem so much his own, and its deep amber color. His left arm, already bandaged seemingly from a previous injury, had unraveled to reveal the black splotches covering his skin. This was undoubtedly Uchiha Sasuke and he undoubtedly seemed as dangerous as ever.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi eased forward, trying his best not to upset the situation further.

He raised his eyes, crazed in one and horrifically calm in the other.

"So this is it, huh?"

His voice was rough gravel, worn with time and something Kakashi couldn't place. It wasn't the startlingly resigned quality of his voice that brought Kakashi to a halt, but the knife Sasuke pressed under his own chin— It had been years since anyone had last seen Sasuke. It was also a known fact that Sound Country officially collapsed just over a year ago. Where Sasuke went that last year was even more of a mystery than how he likely spent his time before the fall.

But to think things ended up like this…

The jounin squad and accompanying medical staff were at a loss with how to proceed. Sasuke was a missing-nin charged with everything from attempted murder to treason. It was policy to execute such individuals on-sight with extreme prejudice. But this was not your typical criminal. He was the only person confirmed to have gotten out of the Sound alive. Who knew what kind of information he might have? But more importantly, he was the last Uchiha.

And this was his last mission.

"Sasuke," Kakashi tried to think through his words clearly, "It doesn't have to end like this."

Sasuke answered by pressing the blade harder against his throat, the edge of his knife catching drops of blood. Suddenly he didn't strike Kakashi as being quite like a wanted man. Even now, he was still a lost child.

"I'm not going back."

Kakashi knew to listen for what Sasuke didn't say to gauge where things stood. And Sasuke said a lot with his reticence now.

_I **can't** go back._

_I'm not your soldier to order around anymore._

_I'd rather die on my own terms._

Kakashi inched forward, trying not to disturb Sasuke any more than he already was. He recalled a time years ago when he told Sasuke the emptiness of revenge. "It would only end in tragedy," he had said. Even though he tried, Kakashi couldn't save Sasuke from this. He couldn't even venture what Sasuke must have gone through to gain enough power to defeat someone of Itachi's unfathomable strength. Now that it was all said and done, what did Sasuke have left?

Perhaps death would be a small mercy…

Kakashi eased in with silence and slipped the knife away from Sasuke's fingers. The lacerations lining Sasuke's left arm were more of a pressing matter than even the curse seal at this point. He all but growled at the medical staff to spring into action and everyone knew better than to question him at a time like this. Not that it truly mattered by now. It was safe to say now Sasuke wasn't in any condition to be perceived as a threat.

Not to anyone but himself.

* * *

Tsunade sighed. Then blinked and read the message again. This of course required more sighing.

She was ambivalently surprised over the information. She certainly hadn't expected for the Uchiha kid to show up during a routine scouting mission. What didn't shock her was that he was not only brought back alive without much of a struggle. For as much as he'd been written off as a hated missing-nin, it seemed some people still held a soft spot for the kid.

She'd have to talk to Kakashi about that later.

Tsunade planned out what she should ask Sasuke on her way to his holding cell. Soft spot or not, at least _she _wouldn't let a criminal squeak by without assessing his mental stability and promptly turning him over to the interrogation squad. (The more unbalanced he was, the more likely he'd be getting Ibiki himself) There was a great deal of unknown information surrounding the fall of the Sound that she assumed he could provide. And that still left over a year for Sasuke to have remained under the radar. What had he been up to? If time with Orochimaru taught him anything, she could guess probably not very good things.

"Has he said anything?"

Kakashi looked up from his floor seat, seeming quite content to lounge with his back against the wall. At least the Anbu were smart enough not to let the man past the outer chamber. He was just too biased to look at this case clearly, in her opinion. An outsider like Tsunade could easily tell Sasuke was not to be trusted. She knew better than anyone that ambition was the greatest corruptor of the soul. She'd seen a man fall to it first-hand. And just look at how well _that_ turned out…

"Only one thing," Kakashi finally got around to saying, "He asked for us to leave the light on."

Odd request, though he was hardly the first. There was something about being held captive _and_ kept in the dark that really seemed to bother people. As she reached for the door, Kakashi decided to add something that hadn't been in the initial message he'd sent. This one fact deserved a whole report in and of itself.

"Itachi's dead."

Tsunade swallowed her uneasiness as the door creaked open. To be capable of killing Itachi…It seemed she must have been right to think the little Uchiha was a threat, after all.

Two Anbu guards were waiting on either side of the inner door. Even with a foreboding steel frame and reinforced rivets, Tsunade took more comfort in knowing this door could only open with an unsealing jutsu. And she knew for a fact that there were chakra-binding seals lining the walls of the cell. Konoha was very good about keeping criminals under wraps.

One of the Anbu pushed aside the viewing slat for her and she scanned the tiny holding cell for Sasuke. The bare light bulb gave the room a hazy amber hue and sent shadows diving at odd angles.

In that fuzzed-out light, she could catch his body's slight tremors. He probably got himself banged up pretty good fighting against his brother.

"Well, you've certainly gotten yourself into quite a mess," Tsunade kept her voice chilled. Not that it was so hard, not when it was a young Orochimaru on the other side of the door. He glanced over in her direction with eyes two distinctly different colors. Even under the harsh cold light, she could see the deep charcoal of his right eye and the brilliant honey of the left. She chose not to take in the grimy sickly sheen coating his skin. No doubt a fever had set in…

"What have you got to say for yourself?"

"When will I be executed?"

Hmm…she could commend him for being so direct. The little bit of information anyone bothered to report to her was that Sasuke _had_ threatened suicide when the squad found him. Though it was a tough call as to whether he simply didn't want to be captured alive, or perhaps was distraught in the aftermath of his brother's death, or perhaps--.

"That depends on how compliant you are with our interrogation," Tsunade answered briskly, "There's quite a lot we'd like to ask you."

He was quiet and she took that as a cue to begin her initial assessment. She paused, collecting her thoughts, tried to ignore his trembling. The way his one hand held his other arm in a death grip to likely numb away the pain of an injury. It was not a priority, she reminded herself. He brought this pain upon himself. All that mattered was learning if he was competent enough to tell them anything useful. Even so, she couldn't make her mouth shape itself around any words.

"I'll be bringing in Morino Ibiki to conduct the interrogation. Use this time to prepare yourself."

Tsunade yanked the slat over with enough force to make the steel groan. She just couldn't _look_ at the kid right now.

"Bring him to H-B-4. No one but Shizune is to be informed," Tsunade ordered. The Anbu hurriedly gave their affirmatives to her back as she strode out.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi drawled as she passed.

"To find Ibiki."

Kakashi made a small acknowledging noise but chose not to add anything else. He didn't tell her that it would be must more efficient to just send him or another Anbu member to inform Ibiki of the situation. It didn't matter that using Ibiki was sort of overkill for what the situation required. He also failed to mention that he knew H-B-4 was the area of the hospital underground that "didn't exist."

Tsunade rounded a corner, trying to recall which corridors connected to Ibiki's department. Or that's what she told herself as she paused to lean back against the wall. Her eyes screwed shut, her jaw grew tense, her hand balled itself into a fist. She didn't want to realize this. She wanted to keep memories fresh in her mind from that mission years ago. The shock and betrayal that rippled through the village…That was what she should be recalling.

But she thought of a tragic little boy that made all the wrong choices. And he was a boy she'd likely be putting to death, even though something was making every bone in her body tell her to save him. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't make the same mistake as the Third. She had to be heavy-handed, without weakness. The village—no—the entire shinobi world had to know she did not cave to anyone.

Her fist hit the wall with a crack.

Soft spot, indeed.

To be continued…


	2. Ch 2: It Began in Autumn

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 2: It Began in Autumn

_Four Years Ago_

The sun's just set behind the mountains. No one really gave a damn about the pleasant autumn weather so that's not the important part here. The halls of the hospital are. Or maybe not even the halls, which didn't have any of that calming sterility and silence. This was chaos at its very best. Shizune screams that they can't get Neji stabilized. If they try to operate now, he might die in surgery—and having that happen once already today had been more than enough.

Of course this day could only get worse.

"Tsunade-sama!"

Kakashi came storming in with an unconscious Naruto in his arms. Even with only one eye visible, it still was still a good indicator for panic. He didn't have to explain anything. Tsunade took one glance at Naruto's pale face before rushing over. She leaned in to press her ear to his chest, hoping for a steady heartbeat. How foolish of her, to hope.

"Dear god…He's going into cardiac arrest!" she shouted, "Kakashi, bring him this way!"

They got Naruto laid out on a stretcher and rushed him for emergency treatment, pumping him full of chakra to keep his failing heart from giving out. He couldn't hear much of anything, he could only see the shadows change from less dim to more and back again from beneath his eyelids. Naruto couldn't really tell where he was or what was going on anymore but he could venture a guess. There were people fussing over him and he could feel their hands but it wasn't really registering. It's like he wasn't quite in his body, but not quite anywhere else. He wanted to open his mouth and tell them to leave him alone. But his body didn't move. He felt so numb everywhere, though his chest hurt something fierce.

And maybe, _maybe_, it's not that he can't move. Maybe he didn't want to move anymore. He didn't want to wake up and face any of them. If he wakes up, it would make everything real. And, goddamn it, he doesn't _want_ it to be real.

It was so strange, really. He'd always thought maybe when he was older, it would be some girl. Maybe even Sakura. It would be like something out of a cheesy novel. Naruto realized then what a dumb kid he really was.

But being betrayed by his friend—_his friend!_—without a doubt broke his heart.

* * *

Ino kept a frantic pace as she dodged the obstacles blocking the hall. Her chest heaved with heavy panting after her mad dash to get to the hospital. Her eyes darted every which way trying to find some sign of her teammates. She turned a corner to finally find some familiar faces sitting on a bench. Before she could get her hopes up, the sober air hanging around that corridor pressed down against her shoulders.

"Have you heard anything?"

Hinata nodded weakly and it's only now that Ino noticed Akamaru all bandaged up in Hinata's arms. Ino expanded her observation to take in Hinata's pale and tear-stained face, then Shino's slumped shoulders.

"Oh god…Is Kiba…?"

"…He didn't make it."

The tears started to slide down Hinata's face again and Ino could feel her trembling knees threatening to give out.

"The—the Sand-nin, they're on our side now, you know? One of them t-tried to get Kiba-kun back here in time. But he couldn't stop the bleeding. They tried to operate b-but—but…"

Hinata couldn't get the rest of the words out and Ino was fairly sure she didn't want to hear it.

"And," Ino's voice cracked, "And what of the others?"

"I saw them bring in Neji a while ago," Shino answered, "His injuries looked rather…serious."

_Even Neji…_

"Are Shikamaru and Chouji okay? Did they make it back?"

Hinata shook her head, murmuring that she hadn't heard anything about them yet. Ino mumbled her thanks and paused to offer some sort of condolences but couldn't think of any words. What did you tell someone who just lost such an important person in their life? She nodded to them once more before racing down the hall. They didn't seem to begrudge her for it.

She was too focused on her team to notice anything or anyone else. At that moment, only two people mattered in her life. Nothing was important to her now except their safety.

_Please, **please** let them be alive. Don't take them away from me!_

_

* * *

_

They passed each other in the hall, being pulled in opposite directions, dragged a little further from each other. Neither seemed to notice the other, and if asked later, they probably wouldn't even recall ever seeing each other.

This was the day that would push an insurmountable gap between them.

Years would go by but Ino and Sakura did not speak again.

* * *

No one had to tell her. Sakura knew. She _knew_ the mission was a failure. The few moments she saw of Kakashi painted the picture crystal clear. Even when things had gone bad on previous missions, his shoulders would relax when the mission was over. But there he stood, rigid with tension and worry. Things had not gone right this time but no one seemed to have the heart to tell her.

It would be two more days before she was allowed to see Naruto.

* * *

It seemed there was no point in fighting it anymore. No matter how much he would have rather slept away his days, Naruto found himself shoved into awareness. He blinked and squinted against the sun splashing against his face, vaguely noting that the blinds were open. It took almost a full minute for him to register that he wasn't in his own bed. It was that pitifully sterile smell that told him he was in the hospital. There wasn't even the usual faint floral scent to counter the impersonal not-a-scent of the room.

_No one even brought flowers…_

"—Naruto?"

Still feeling sluggish, he couldn't stop himself from looking over at whoever spoke. And he immediately wished he hadn't. Oh god, he wished he hadn't…

"Sakura-chan?"

She sat on the edge of a chair with her hands on her thighs, her fingers bunching up the fabric of her dress. She seemed to be making a great effort not to cry in front of him.

"Naru—"

"I'm sorry!"

Her shoulders jerked back, almost as if she'd been hit in the stomach.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan," his voice was softer now, more resigned, "I really tried, I mean, I _promised_…And yet…"

"Idiot!" the tears were coming down now. He waited for her to start yelling, or to punch him, or to do whatever Sakura did when she was so disappointed. He didn't expect her to fall across his chest in a sobbing heap.

"You're always such an idiot," her voice was softer now, but certainly not resigned as she raised her eyes to his face, "You almost died! What would the point be if I lost the both of you!"

There, she said it. And felt terrible for it, wanting so much after everyone lost so much. She couldn't help but be selfish. She couldn't have one without the other. They were a team. They were…

_Over._

They both remained quiet for a long while, both too deep in shock to move or to speak. Sakura didn't want to tell him the rest of the bad news, of how the others faired. Naruto didn't think he could bear to hear it just yet. Not just yet.

"Hey Naruto, do you feel well enough to walk?"

"Yeah…I can do that."

"Then let's get you out of here. I'm sure you'd feel better resting up at home."

* * *

No one raised much of a fuss when they left, seeming too distracted and too tired to argue about anything. Though they took the back ways to Naruto's apartment just to be on the safe side. Nothing was out of place in his tiny apartment. It had the same look of contained chaos that it always held, but everything felt different to him. Though maybe it would be more accurate to say he was the one who felt out of place now.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Naruto mumbled.

"I'll be waiting here when you come out."

Naruto disappeared into the bathroom and set the water as hot as it could go. He stepped under the jet but couldn't register the heat. There wasn't a mark on his body from the fight, though his left arm still tingled unpleasantly. Here in the quiet and finally alone with his conscious thoughts, it finally hit. It started with choked wheezing and hiccups as he tried to swallow his cries. The tears burned against his skin far more sharply than the scalding water. He braced himself with one hand against the wall as his body began to tremble.

"Damn it!" he growled. His fist hit the wall once, and the tiles started to give way after the second hit. "_Goddamn it!_"

Sakura sat with her back pressed against the bathroom door and her knees pulled up against her chest, unable to do anything but cry again. She could hear Naruto on the other side and the water did nothing to drown out his wailing. She pressed her hands tightly over her ears to try and muffle that awful sound. But there was no point now. She doubted she could ever imagine what it might be like to be happy again. There was no starting over.

All they had now were memories they could never return to and a future they didn't want to live.

* * *

Almost two weeks had past. Almost two weeks before Neji pulled out of his coma. Granted he'd felt rather awful when he first woke up with not-yet-healed injuries immediately making their presence known. But even so, he himself felt more at peace with the world in those waking moments than he had in years. It didn't last terribly long, of course. Not when Gai and Lee were there making such a ridiculous amount of noise. Crying bucketfuls and ranting about the resilience of youth. Idiots.

It was enough to make a man want to fall right back into a coma and never wake up.

He wasn't beneath faking sleep to get them to leave, though. Soon enough it was quiet again and he could finally think back on what got him here in the first place. The Mission…He realized he had no idea how things turned out in the end. He didn't get to contemplate it any further when he heard the slight click of the door. He glanced over with half-lidded eyes to find Tenten standing in the doorway. There was a rue sort of smile on her face and she finally entered once she knew she wouldn't be thrown right back out.

"I hope you won't be out for too long," she says breezily, "Training's been misery."

Knowing the other members of his team, he couldn't deny how aggravating things must be for her to be stuck with Gai and Lee without any reprieve.

"Here," she pulled out some books from her shoulder bag, "To ease the boredom."

It was so quintessentially Tenten to think of things like that. As he watched her shuffle about and place them on the table, he just couldn't take the not-knowing anymore.

"What happened out there?" his voice rasped and he didn't like the disgraceful sound of it, "With the mission…"

She took a seat and told him everything with frank words. Just as he could count on the other half of his team to be enthusiastic and idealistic, Tenten would always be practical and direct when it came down to it. Even when it involved telling Neji the mission he almost lost his life on was a complete and utter failure.

"So it was all for nothing…" Neji murmured, feeling his wounds (pointless now) all the more acutely.

Tenten didn't say a word as she rose to her feet. She was good about knowing when to come and when to go.

"Well, I'll see you soon," she said as she made it to the door, "There's lots of work to be done, and all."

She knew he would hate to be coddled. Her subtle reminder that there were always going to be missions and that they would always have to rise to the challenge was enough.

Things were far from great right now, but this too would pass. Neji still had greater heights to reach.

He took comfort in that most of all.

* * *

_Present Day_

Tsunade swept through the Anbu's intelligence department on her personal search for Ibiki. A frown pulled at her mouth and her shoulders ached with tension. And to think, this mess was just getting started… Before she made it to his office door, she found a sight she'd grown used to but never comfortable with.

Multiple empty coffee cups, countless papers, and stacks of reports littered the desk of one particular Anbu member's desk. Tired rings stood out against the not-so-recently shaven face that peered over his files with a disturbing seriousness. He absently pushed up slim wire glasses before his hand returned to scribbling notes.

"A little rest wouldn't kill you, Shikamaru-kun."

He nearly jumped out of his chair from the surprise.

"Hokage-sa—"

"Is your boss around?"

"Should be in his office, I think…"

She was about to continue onwards, but stopped to address him again.

"You, go home and sleep. And don't come back without a shower and a change of clothes," she paused, hating to give bitter medicine, "You can't save anyone if you keep wearing yourself down like this."

"…Yes, ma'am."

Once again, she found herself trying to leave when something else caught her attention. There was a file on his desk that was nearly a year old, one she knew he seemed to dwell on.

"Is this from you expedition from after the Sound fell?"

He seemed a tad surprised and perhaps a little irritated that it was mentioned. It annoyed him when he came across puzzles he couldn't solve. The Anbu team that had been sent out came back with rather inconclusive information. Though if Tsunade was going to be honest, anything involving the Sound tended to resurface rather bitter feelings in Shikamaru.

She idly flipped through the file, recalling why anyone would have been haunted by the mission. To put it lightly, the photographs submitted with the report were rather harrowing.

"I'll be borrowing this," she stated, jerking Shikamaru from whatever thoughts he was having. She tapped him on the head with the folder just to make sure she had his attention. "Sleep."

He nodded vaguely as she moved on towards Ibiki and he headed for the exit. Though he doubted he'd do a very good job following that order, not with that mission to the Sound on his mind again. Shikamaru didn't need to see the pictures to remember. He only needed to close his eyes and he would find himself back there in Hell.

Not that it was really much different, not with how everything felt in this town these days.

To be continued…


	3. Ch 3: Down the Rabbit Hole

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 3: Down the Rabbit Hole

Tsunade was attempting to show a bit of patience. She stood in the hall of H-B-4, her eyes tracing the series of pipes winding across the ceiling, while Ibiki conducted his interrogation with Sasuke. Though her anxiety and curiosity were proving to be a poor mix while she tried to keep herself from fidgeting. She instead began reading Sasuke's medical chart that Shizune had prepared. It did not look good.

"_Lacerations along left arm of various length do not appear self-inflicted nor from battle. The skin appears to have pulled open from infection and has rendered the arm useless. Use of the left eye drains high amounts of chakra…"_

Tsunade had very little doubt of what the symptoms meant. It sounded like Sasuke's body could no longer take the strain of the curse seal. Though how that was even possible mystified her. With Orochimaru dead and gone, the seal should have vanished with him. It was almost as puzzling as how in the hell Sasuke ever managed to beat Itachi with only one good arm. It was quite possible the condition Sasuke was in was solely because of the fight.

No, she knew perfectly well that wasn't it at all.

The door suddenly opened before she could contemplate anything further.

"Has he said anything?" she asked coolly.

"Guys like that'll tell you anything," Ibiki answered gruffly.

"Meaning?" so much for her attempt at patience.

"Meaning he's resigned to his death. It doesn't matter what we do to get him to answer. He's accepted his fate and just wants to get it over with," he explained, "And to be quite honest, I doubt he's got much longer anyway."

Tsunade couldn't argue with that logic. How would they be able to question Sasuke when he had no reason to tell them anything? He knew he was going to die, if not by law than by his own traitorous body. And if she was going to be frank about it, it wasn't as if he had much to gain by staying alive anyway.

"So do you feel it would even be worth it to prosecute him?" she asked blandly. She might be a crappy poker player, but she had the classic poker face down to a science.

"Would you think it rude of me to say I refuse?"

So maybe even her poker face wasn't very impressive, after all.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to let a criminal off just because he has a sad story."

"That's hardly the reason," Ibiki all but growled out, perhaps a bit incensed, "And while I understand you're trying to avoid another Orochimaru situation, killing someone who made shitty choices as a kid to make an example out of him isn't any better."

"So attempted murder and treason aren't good enough reasons anymore?"

"You know," Ibiki began calmly, "There was another case like this. A young ninja thought she was doing the right thing and in actuality committed some rather terrible crimes. But the Third knew in his heart of hearts that she was a good person and spared her life. I remember being furious at the time, believing evil could only be committed by an evil person…Do you know who that ninja was?"

She did.

"It was Anko, wasn't it."

Fair enough. Tsunade decided not to press the issue any further just yet. She would speak to Sasuke herself even if Ibiki was too influenced by past events to look at this situation objectively. She should have known being Hokage would be a lot more work than she was willing to undertake. She entered Sasuke's room anyway.

* * *

"Hello, Sasuke-kun."

He seemed stoic enough, and perhaps a little lost in this room. It wasn't the blinding white of a normal hospital, being so far underground that it was a fair bit bleak and made of concrete. Tsunade let herself fall into her clinical frame of mind as she began unraveling the bandages on his arm. Shizune had been smart enough to also wrap his left eye. That could be dealt with later. Even after being cleaned and treated, his pitiful arm was not an easy sight to take in. The skin didn't seem to be pulling apart so much as rotting away. She never had the opportunity to see it herself, but its appearance was not so unlike Orochimaru's own arms falling apart from the Third's curse.

"How long has your arm been like this?"

He kept his good eye trained on the far wall, perhaps looking at a different time and place than where he was now.

Tsunade decided to take a slightly more compassionate approach.

"When did the…infection start to take hold like this?" She knew better than to call it a curse right to his face. He kept silent though and she was starting to doubt he would answer anything.

"When I…left. After…"

"After you fought Naruto?"

He gave the vaguest nod, thinking back on a long road and driving rain and a stinging pain in his arm.

"And it took four years to spread this much?"

"…No," Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "It didn't start again until after Orochimaru…"

"Died," she finished. Only Orochimaru would be vindictive enough to have something do more damage after he died. Though she had to wonder why even he would bother.

As she leaned in to further examine the seal, she noticed something rather surprising. The common binding seal Kakashi had put in place was gone, though that wasn't the shocking part. In its place was a far more complex seal that she didn't recognize. She'd have to let Jiraiya take a look at it.

"Where did you get this second seal?"

"Kabuto," he answered briskly, "It was supposed to keep the seal relatively in-check."

Tsunade didn't trust anything Kabuto was involved with. However, she didn't know enough about it to start tampering with it yet. She'd leave it be for now and hoped that Sasuke might be a little more forthcoming.

"How was Orochimaru killed?"

"…I hadn't been in the room when it happened," his voice still sounded raspy, and she wondered if the "infection" had spread to his chest, "Whoever it was that attacked…They dressed all in black, faces covered, no headbands."

"Did you fight them?"

"No…I took the opportunity to sneak out."

It wasn't too surprising of an answer. Sasuke never claimed to have been interested in any of Orochimaru's plans. Though that hadn't made their partnership any less of a threat.

"And exactly where did you go after the Sound fell?"

"Mist. If you're looking for criminals, it's a good place to start."

"I suppose I can't argue with you there," she said with a grim smile. So he went to Mist, and somehow wound up back in Fire Country to kill his brother. And how in god's name did he do that when he looked like he could barely sit up?

"How did you defeat Itachi?"

His face darkened considerably, his entire body grew rigid with some emotion she couldn't quite place. For someone who accomplished the goal he ruined his life for, Sasuke didn't seem too pleased about it.

"I don't know," he mumbled, "It seemed too…easy."

Tsunade doubted he was going to give any more details than that. Too fresh a wound, she imagined. Where could she proceed from here?

"Do you know why the seal became worse after Orochimaru's death?" she drifted back to this topic since he seemed likely to actually say something about it.

"Spite," he answered rather quickly, "He always figured he might be betrayed by someone with the curse seal. So he made sure that if he was brought down somehow that everyone would fall with him."

That certainly sounded like something the old snake would do. Tsunade believed this was the only time Sasuke had been completely honest with her so far.

"I know you're aware of your pending execution…" Tsunade paused, "But this curse will probably kill you just the same."

He continued to stare straight ahead, proving he would probably be a better poker player than her.

"We don't have a cure for it," she continued, "We haven't been able to help Anko, either."

His body jerked ever so slightly. He'd apparently forgotten someone else in the village had the curse seal, and that they must have been aware of what happened to it when Orochimaru died.

"She hasn't deteriorated as much," Tsunade kept her voice even, "However she has been forced out of active duty. With that in mind, I have a proposition for you."

She had his attention now.

"I'm not about to let a good ninja like Anko die. I will find a cure and you are going to be the test subject," Tsunade decided he looked most uncomfortable when surprised, "If I can manage to heal her with your help, we'll reevaluate your punishment then."

He didn't argue with her, though she assumed he knew better than to protest in his situation. Though it didn't stop him from making a request she certainly hadn't been prepared for.

"During this treatment," he began, seeming almost…embarrassed? "Can I go home at all?"

God, this kid was too much. Her face softened, saddened even.

"The Uchiha Compound has long been boarded up, I'm afraid…"

_I'm sorry._

"You should remain under surveillance anyway. I'll make arrangements for you."

* * *

Shikamaru kept his head down on his way home. His rather specific orders were barely more than fuzz in his brain now. Instead his feet led him down winding and familiar streets but he didn't see a thing. Instead, he remembered.

* * *

_Approximately One Year Ago _

The humidity of Sound country had been terribly oppressive, with the hum of mosquitoes heavy in the air. It should be said that there wasn't so much a Sound Village as there was a Compound. And that wasn't even so much a compound as it was a ghost town by the time they had arrived. The heavy wooden and steel doors of the entryway were splintered and blackened, likely blasted open. It was possible the invaders hadn't been covert, but as the Anbu hadn't been present there was no real way to know what happened.

No village, ally or enemy, had taken credit for the attack, though there were plenty of political implications for that. Either wanting to hide their true strength or possibly avoid counterattacks from surviving Sound shinobi were viable reasons. And those were just the obvious ones.

Inside there was some structural damage and it certainly had that "death" smell to it, but there was a surprising lack of actual corpses. Bizarre.

"Holy…"

It was "bear mask." She was a long time veteran in the Anbu, having even served with Kakashi back in the day. She'd seen a lot in her time, though even she couldn't be blamed for being upset. The body was hideous.

Its throat had been split ear to ear, now stained a dark coffee color and oozing of maggots. Stringy black hair covered half of its rotting face, while the rest of the body was bloated and decaying. They'd obviously arrived a decent amount of time after this person had died. It took Shikamaru a lot of effort not to pull back his wolf mask and puke.

"Bird mask" was peering closely at the body's visible eye sunken in the socket, but still golden in color and full of surprise even in death.

"It's definitely Orochimaru," he confirmed flatly. It figured Neji had ice for blood.

Shikamaru tried to hold it together as they ventured on, but couldn't help but wonder what other grotesque sights they might stumble upon. Enemy or not, seeing a body mangled like that was a fair bit too gruesome for his stomach to take. It wasn't long before someone called out from the distance. They'd found something.

The squad gathered around a floor grate and all had the sinking feeling that it probably wasn't a storm drain. Somehow a person can just tell where someone's been imprisoned. Knowing Orochimaru's penchant for kidnapping and experimentation didn't help the situation. Shikamaru would always regret going down that hole. If Death were a room, this was it. And what was it about the smell of vomit that always made other people do the same…Off came the mask.

There were a few scattered bodies, most skeletons by now. Though with the vicious humidity, a dead body was only going to decompose that much faster. It was hard to gauge how long it had been since any of them had passed away.

"Look at the walls," Neji whispered. Perhaps not so icy, after all…

Shikamaru didn't feel quite so sick now. More than anything, he wanted to cry. But a ninja doesn't cry on a mission so…He steeled himself and took in the countless helpless hopeless words scrawled everywhere. Nothing hurt more than knowing the people who wrote these words probably never got out.

"Just let me die"

"I'm so sorry"

"There is no god"

"Help…Please help"

"You'll pay someday"

"Kill me"

"Forgive me"

Shikamaru focused on one plea in particular and for some reason it was the one that bothered him the most.

"I can breathe. I can think. I have hope."

* * *

Ino heard the chime signaling a customer and prepared a cheerful greeting that died in her throat.

"Oh…hey," she finished awkwardly. She doubted her slight smile fooled him at all. "The usual?"

He gave a small nod, not really looking at her. She gathered the flowers together while making a good deal of effort to keep her back to him the entire time.

"Say hi to the boys for me, won't you?" her voice was a quiet mouse. She reached out to touch his arm but changed her mind halfway though, letting her hand fall lamely to her side. His eyes dropped to the floor and he mumbles his thanks. He really did appreciate the flowers always being on the house, and all. She tried to offer a small smile.

It was awkward.

* * *

They used the cover of night to slip Sasuke out of the hospital. He was surprised and at the same time not that the Hokage hadn't opted to have him put under Kakashi's supervision. That man wasn't his teacher anymore, so naturally Sasuke wasn't really his responsibility either. It was just as well, though. Sasuke really didn't care for the idea of Kakashi being his warden.

What he could vaguely recall of Anko was that she'd been a startlingly loud and flashy woman. In fact, she had reminded him a bit of—

Well, the woman who opened the door at this late hour hardly seemed to be the same person from his memories. Sallow skin and hollowed cheekbones with a fine sheen of sweat coating her skin, her hair damp and matted clung to her face.

"And here I thought _I _was in bad shape," she greeted with a weak grin. Anko's sense of humor certainly wasn't for everyone.

She hurried him inside and all but shut the door on his escorts. She pulled back the hood of the sweatshirt he'd been hiding under to get a better look at him. There was now a black patch over his eye instead of bandages and a few splotches of black from the seal marked his cheek. His left arm was drawn against his chest in a sling and Anko was sure she'd never seen a more pathetic sight in her life.

"Well I'm sure you must be exhausted so lemme show you your room."

She led him to the spare bedroom and seemed ready to leave without another word. But she paused and fished something out of the pocket of her housecoat.

"Here," she pressed the object into his hand, "So you can find your way around while you adjust."

She closed the door while Sasuke stood staring at the nightlight resting in his palm. She hadn't showered him with pleasantries nor shown disgust at his choices. All Anko did was give him a stupid light but he knew then and there that she probably understood him perfectly.

As he lay awake that night, the dim light glowing in the corner, he could still feel the darkness swallow him. There was no one to pull him out of hell this time.

"You really were weak, right to the end."

* * *

He'd been certain he was going to die down in that pit.

His arm had exploded with pain and blood and it hurt too much to see a damn thing with his left eye now. The only way out was too high above him and he just didn't have the energy to try anymore. He knew everything would be left unfinished and that all the suffering he'd endured was all for nothing now. But he made his peace as best he could and waited for his life to quietly end.

But when that door opened, when a silhouette backlit by firelight reached out a hand to him, all he wanted more than anything was that second chance.

To be continued...


	4. Ch 4: Deserving

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 4: Deserving

"I never thought you could be _this _much of a fool."

"It's not foolish, Jiraiya," Tsunade eased back in her chair, "You can't tell me you're not even a little bit curious about what happened to him?"

"If I wanted Sasuke to tell me about how Orochimaru and Itachi died, I'd have kept him in a jail cell," he answered sharply.

"Feh, with his health, he wouldn't live long enough to tell us anything from there."

"And on that note," Jiraiya crossed his arms as he leaned against the edge of her desk, "I still want to know what gave you the brilliant idea to start looking for a cure. Healing that kid is one of the most dangerous and stupid ideas I've ever heard of."

Tsunade glared up at him and rested the palms of her hands against the smooth wood of the desk.

"Who's he going to go after, hmm? Itachi's dead and gone."

"If he was strong enough to kill that guy while he's this sick, what do you think he'll be like at full power?" Jiraiya was starting to ponder if Tsunade had any bottles of sake lying around, "I mean, he trained under _Orochimaru_ for crying out loud! You can't have forgotten what a master manipulator he was. Sasuke can probably make himself appear however he wants you to see him to get what he wants. If he comes across as enough of a sob story, you'll heal him and who knows what he'll do then."

Tsunade sighed. She should have known he'd be like this.

"You know," she gave him a rather pointed look, "It's a very good thing you turned down becoming Hokage."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at that statement. Of all the times to bring up a thing like that…

"You see me as being soft, but you're the one who can't let go of the past," she continued rather baldly, "I can't afford to kill someone that might be a great asset to the village. Yes, it's a risk but I have to look out for all of Konoha. Especially the ones who need more help than others to get back on their feet."

"Are you saying I'm being detrimental to the needs of Konoha?" Jiraiya wasn't sure if he'd ever been so angry with Tsunade before, "Sasuke is a missing-nin!"

"I'm saying you're trying so hard to protect one person that it's blinding you from seeing the big picture."

_You're trying too hard to keep Naruto from being hurt like you were._

"…That's a cheap shot, you know."

"Well, I won't tell him if you won't," she gave a light smile, "No sense letting this information out 'til we know how it turns out, anyway."

Jiraiya found himself nodding along with her. It figured.

"So you'll take a look at that secondary seal in the meantime?"

"Might as well," he added, hoping to sound grumpy about it. A man should always know when to admit when he's lost a battle and all. Tsunade wouldn't tell him he seemed a bit petulant instead.

Now that all that was settled, she could finally move on and dive into research. Tsunade and Shizune had been working to help Anko for nearly a year with virtually nothing to show for their efforts. Now that Sasuke was in the picture, Tsunade had viewed the rather grim progression the seal could take. But as much as she hated to admit it to herself, she really needed more help than just Shizune to solve this one.

As if reading her thoughts, Jiraiya began a new line of questioning.

"So are you going to have your apprentice assist you on this one?"

"Even I'm not that heartless," she answered crisply, "Besides, she's not ready yet. However, I think Shizune's student is perfect for the job."

"She is a good choice," Jiraiya concurred, "But it's still a risk to let her in on such a big secret."

"She's hardly a gossip. I know I can count on her to keep things under wraps," Tsunade began rifling through her papers.

"True as that may be, don't you think it's still a bit cruel to make _her_ help Sasuke?"

"Actually, I think she's probably exactly what he needs right now," Tsunade paused and Jiraiya indulged her flare for the dramatic, "It's in Hinata's nature to be forgiving."

* * *

_Over Three Years Ago_

They'd run into each other by chance.

Hinata was running late on her way to the training ground and for no particular reason. She blamed it on her tendency for constantly doing things not quite right. She hadn't expected to see Neji and Tenten also heading towards their own respective training area. Technically Neji wasn't even on the official roster, as he was still recovering from his injuries months later. Though he wasn't the type to idly sit by and do nothing. He would watch his team and study new strategies, perhaps even practice a little before heading to his physical therapy sessions. He claimed he felt fine but they weren't letting him take any risks.

Hinata had gone to visit him while he had still been on bed rest. Although he hadn't been outright cruel to her, there was still an uncomfortable stiffness about him whenever she was around. She doubted today would be any different.

Tenten glanced at Neji, then Hinata, and back again before heading on ahead of them. She always knew when to stay and when to go, after all. And for some reason, this day was already proving to be too much for Hinata. She couldn't hold back her confession of feeling weak despite all her training. At least she managed to cut herself off before admitting her inferiority to her new teammate...Though for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she blurted this out in front of _Neji_ of all people…

"You just don't have the mentality to be a fighter like that," Neji answered bluntly.

Hinata looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Yet another blow to her ego really shouldn't have mattered by now, but…

"Well, I, um, thank you. I'm g-glad you're so honest with m-me, Neji-nii-sama."

"You know," he called after her as she attempted to make a dignified exit, "You're not like the other kunoichi. You're not calculating like Sakura. You're not driven like Tenten. You're not aggressive like Ino. And you're certainly not ruthless like Temari of the Sand. You have kindness and compassion, Hinata-sama."

Hinata wanted to be happy, that maybe he was actually giving her a compliment. But she didn't get her hopes up. It wasn't _so_ long ago that Neji had once scorned her for those traits.

"I don't quite understand…"

"Have you ever considered becoming a medic-nin?"

That was probably the last question Hinata expected, and it was certainly one she'd never thought about. Certainly she knew how to make some herbal remedies for a minor injury here and there. But a full-fledged medic?

"You're not a stupid girl. With the Byakugan and the chakra control you gained from jyuuken training, you'd probably do well."

Hinata did her best not to cry. Never in her life did she expect such high praise from Neji.

"But Father…He would never allow—"

Neji sighed. "You'll be able to help a lot of people. It would only enhance your power as a ninja, anyway."

"But—"

"You can change things, Hinata-sama. Don't let the Clan get in the way of what you want."

Hinata was amazed at Neji and his personal strength. It was hard to imagine that he'd hated her at one time.

_If I could change anything, I would remove that awful seal._

Neji mentioned that he would put in a word with Shizune when he went for his next treatment.

And suddenly, Hinata didn't feel quite so weak anymore.

* * *

_Present Day_

Morning's come and Anko had the task of making Sasuke look halfway presentable for the Hokage's house call. Granted all parties involved knew the kid was sick as a dog, but it would reflect rather poorly on Anko if she didn't have him look clean and rested. As it stood now, it seemed Sasuke hadn't slept at all during the night. Hopefully a hot shower and a cup of coffee (could he drink coffee?) would work some magic on him.

She stood outside the bathroom door with him, while he stared at the entrance like it led to the electric chair.

"Well, if you feel sick or anything, just gimme a shout and I'll come help ya out," Anko was all smiles and good cheer, feverish or not, "Lemme know when you're finished and I'll fix up your bandages."

She wandered on down the hall and Sasuke slipped inside the room for his shower. He didn't tell Anko he could manage wrapping his own bandages if he had to, but maybe it would be rude of him to turn down her help when she certainly didn't have to do a damn thing for him. Though he supposed it didn't really matter. As well as she seemed to have figured him out, she was only acting on the Hokage's orders. There was no point in asking for anything from her.

He let the steam envelop him, let the water burn down on him. It made his arm ache something fierce (was that a new slice?) but it wasn't anything new. The damn thing always ached, just like his back. They hadn't discovered that yet, the twin scars parallel to his shoulder blades still red and angry. When he'd arrived in the Sound all those years ago, Kabuto had made it his first priority to heal them. He hadn't outright said why, though Sasuke imagined Orochimaru would be vain about having scars when _that_ time came.

Sasuke stopped Kabuto, of course. When Sasuke was asked why, he didn't bother lying. He wanted them as a reminder.

"A reminder?" Kabuto had asked.

"That I became a demon for a day."

They never spoke of it again. Kabuto even indulged his wish and left the scars in place. They could just as easily be mended later, after all…

And so Sasuke stood under the shower spray surrounded by pristine white tiles, pressing the palm of his good hand against the wall and hoping its cool smoothness would be soothing. The ache, the whiteness, the hissing water…All it did was put him back in that place.

* * *

_Sound Country, Unknown Date_

Sasuke hated it here.

He always knew he would. This had never been about personal satisfaction, though. It was a means to an end, nothing more. This nightmare would never end until he was washing his brother's blood from his hands. Orochimaru had a lot to teach him, but he certainly didn't like the man. Though perhaps he should learn not to be so blatant in his disgust…

At least here in the shower, he had a few moments away from the politics and mind games. Here he could quietly renew his focus and reflect on what brought him here.

_There is only revenge. I've no need for anything else._

"My, those scars are certainly dreadful."

Sasuke stiffened but didn't dare turn around. He couldn't show that he hadn't even heard Orochimaru arrive.

"You must have been rather desperate," Sasuke closed his eyes and tried no to think about the finger tracing his old injury, "To let yourself go this far."

_There is only revenge._

"It's rather ironic, isn't it, Sasuke-kun? That someone as beautiful as you could be filled with such bitter hatred."

It took all of Sasuke's willpower not to turn around and punch the creep in the face. Not that he could do much to the likes of Orochimaru.

"Did you need something?" he all but growled out.

"Hmm? You might say that…"

Sasuke did not like where that hand was going. Desperate for power as he was, even he had his limits.

"I want to learn everything about this body of yours, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru hissed in his ear, "I want to know it inside and out."

Despite Kabuto's warnings, Sasuke was ready to curse out the snake then and there. That was, before the seal jumped to life and left him paralyzed. He felt his own hands being pressed palms down against the tile, felt cool skin pressing against his back.

_There is only revenge…_

_There is only…_

Sasuke tried to picture his brother's face. He wanted to let his anger and his shame consume him more with ever passing moment. It was all Itachi's fault that this was happening to him.

Instead he remembered Naruto lying cold and unconscious in the rain, the one he couldn't kill. If he'd done it, would he need to be here now?

He thought of Kakashi. Would his old teacher have known how to get out of a mess like this?

He thought of Sakura, sweet and soft and who loved him too much. Did she even give a damn about him now?

_I will have my vengeance. And you both will pay._

There would be a time for vengeance. But justice worked both ways. Sasuke knew now this was his punishment.

* * *

Anko heard a crash and raced towards the bathroom door, pissed that she felt winded after such a short sprint.

"Sasuke?" she called out, knocking a few times for good measure, "You alright in there?"

She didn't get an answer and started to worry that he'd fainted. Well, she hoped he was understanding as she burst into the room. The steam made her fever more uncomfortable but it was a small price to pay. She found him curled into a ball in the corner of the stall, gripping his arm tightly. One of his cuts seemed to have opened wider…

"Hey! Are you okay--!" She reached out a hand towards his good shoulder. To say he reacted violently was putting it mildly. He spun around, his visible eye mad with fear and fury, fist cocked back to strike. Anko's reflexes were still honed enough to catch his hand before it hit her face. And just as quickly he pulled out of her grasp and curled in defensively around himself.

"Don't touch me!" he snarled.

This was certainly a different side to the sullen boy brought to her home last night. She didn't have time to figure out what set him off, though. They had to get that arm wrapped up.

"C'mon, Sas—" she moved to help him up.

"I said don't fucking touch me!"

Anko didn't know why she hadn't figured it out sooner.

"I know," she spoke grimly as she shut the water off, "I hadn't even realized something bad had happened to me, I'd been such a blind fool then. But hey, we've still gotta patch up that arm of yours."

Sasuke's rage seemed to deflate from him immediately. He was right, Anko did understand him perfectly. He let her wrap a towel around him and help him to his feet, too stunned to even be embarrassed by his nakedness. He let her treat his arm with fresh bandages and she let him go get dressed on his own. Now they sat drinking coffee together while she absently hummed to herself.

Yes, he was grateful Kakashi wasn't his caretaker.

There was a knock at the door not long after and Sasuke braced himself for more questions and testing. There was the Hokage, looking entirely too cheerful for what her visit entailed. Jiraiya followed shortly after her but at least he looked annoyed about being there. Shizune, too, seeming apprehensive as always. Though Sasuke sure as hell hadn't expected Hyuuga Hinata to show up.

"What…?"

"I'm sure you remember Hinata," Tsunade greeted, "She's going to be assisting in our research."

"…Hi, Sasuke-kun."

She didn't look too pleased about being there, her eyes glued to the floor. What was the Hokage thinking, making her come help him. Because of him, Kiba was…

"You don't have to do this, you know," he spoke stiffly.

_It's not like I'm looking to be saved._

"Hokage-sama asked me to," still soft-spoken, but she seemed a little more steady than he remembered her being. Her hair was longer now. "And I want to help Anko-san, so…"

"Fair enough," he mumbled.

* * *

_It was cold, wherever he was. Snowing probably. Everything seemed fuzzy. Was he medicated…?_

"_You're awake now."_

"_I was ready to die down there."_

"_I know," the voice answered, seeming further away than it was, "It must have been hell."_

"_You have no idea."_

"_We all suffer through life. And we're stronger for it. This, too, shall pass. You'll survive it."_

To be continued…


	5. Ch 5: She Wonders

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 5: She Wonders

"Should've known I'd find you here."

"I take it your brother's here on business?" Shikamaru didn't even turn around. Some things were still too much effort to be bothered with.

"Social call, actually," Temari answered, sounding far too chipper for his likings, "Gaara finds it a little overwhelming that everyone's so nice to him back home now. At least he understands what he did to earn it _here_."

Shikamaru often wondered what strange reality he woke up to some days when Gaara, of all people, was making friendly visits.

"You look like shit, by the way," Temari continued, earning an irritated snort from him. She swore she heard him mutter something about meddling women, "Doesn't that girlfriend of yours look after you at all?"

"Ino's not my girlfriend."

There was something rather fatalistic in his tone. Temari rolled her eyes; being overdramatic didn't suit him at all.

"Oh? She's not?"

"She's my best friend. That's more than enough."

End of discussion. Well, not that Temari ever really listened to anything he said.

"Ya hear that, Chouji?" Temari had a frightening talent for looking devious and affectionate all at once, "This guy's best friend is a _girl_, of all people. Who would have expected that?"

"Temari—" There was a bit of warning in Shikamaru's voice.

"What?" she was a touch indignant, "Even he's gotta get tired of your bitching now and then."

Shikamaru really hated when she talked like Chouji was right there (which she _always_ did). But he didn't see his friend anywhere. All he saw was a name carved into a rock.

* * *

It's been over four years, but sometimes it felt like another lifetime. It was strange how some days all Shikamaru could think about were the good ol' days, yet he couldn't truly remember what it was like before the Mission. They'd all been such stupid kids, believing they could take on those odds and come out of it alive. That was they day they stopped being children.

That was the day two people stopped living.

* * *

Shikamaru believed being smart might be the greatest curse to ever place on a person. It made him recall everything in such clear and terrible technicolor detail. He'd been racing through those woods, exhausted as he was, trying to keep up with Temari. He was so focused on matching her pace, he almost ran right into her when she stopped short. She'd been so damn smug earlier, he hadn't expected her to look so puzzled.

"Hadn't he been chubby?"

For some reason, it hadn't clicked in his brain until he moved past her. His feet just couldn't move any farther than that. He just stared at that bony ankle and refused to look any farther than that. He didn't want to see this. He didn't want to see Chouji's sandy hair falling over his pale gaunt face. He didn't want to see that fucking arrow begging Chouji to follow.

"Goddamn it, Chouji. You liar."

Chouji had promised he wouldn't use all three pills. _He promised!_

Shikamaru stumbled numbly to Chouji's side, almost believing he was only unconscious. When he touched Chouji's hand, he couldn't stop himself from pulling back from the cold skin.

"Looks like he's been gone a while."

Shikamaru all but snarled at Temari. How the hell could she be so callous at a time like this?

Tears were prickling his eyes and he cursed his logical mind a thousand times over. Chouji was his best friend, a loyal friend. One that believed in Shikamaru so completely that he followed his orders to the death…

Shikamaru had gotten his best friend killed.

He could almost hear Temari as he sobbed over the body. She was muttering something about emotion training but he didn't listen to her. He was going to hold onto his last moment with Chouji and his fucking childhood and wish for it all to come back. Though this cold skinny thing wasn't even Chouji anymore. It certainly caught him off-guard when Temari hauled him to his feet and smacked him sharply across his cheek.

"Need I remind you that you're still in charge of this mission?" her voice was cool and piercing, "You've got three other squad members to account for. Now quit your crying and go help the ones that can still be saved."

"But Chouji was—"

"I couldn't care less. He's dead and nothing can change that. You still have other responsibilities to worry about," Temari turned away from him, preparing to move on. But she paused again and glanced ever so slightly over her shoulder.

"Just be grateful you had a friend who loved you enough to die trying to keep you safe."

Of all the things he expected to hear from her, resentment wasn't it.

Later, he would make a vow before his father and before her that he would become a better ninja. He would be perfect. Absolutely flawless.

* * *

"I should get going," Shikamaru finally said. He didn't even bother asking why she went through the trouble of looking for him in the first place. Probably just to piss him off, anyway.

She just nodded at him and left without so much as a farewell. She wondered why she even bothered looking for him.

Shikamaru decided not to think too hard on her visit, or on much of anything at all. He just popped another pill in his mouth and let the numbness set in before leaving to find Ino.

* * *

Ino's life existed in two well-defined timelines. There was Before the Mission (BM) and After the Mission (AM). She didn't think very much on the first year of AM. It was a blur of isolation and some gut-wrenching feeling caught between anger and sorrow. She never thought of a good word for it. When that first anniversary rolled around, she sold a lot of people flowers but couldn't bring herself to go to the memorial that day. Maybe she'd been too afraid to go, too ashamed of being the weak ninja that couldn't even be brought on that mission.

Shikamaru hadn't come for flowers that year. She'd heard he hadn't gone to the memorial that first anniversary, either.

The second anniversary, she faced her fears and ventured out despite the cold rain. She found Shikamaru there, soaked to the bone and stone-faced. They hadn't said a thing to each other, not even when she tugged on his arm to come in from the storm. They kept their silence all the way to his house, up his stairs, to his room. Ino couldn't find any of her mindless prattle to ease the situation, and thus made use of her hands. Shikamaru never once complained about her troublesome girlish ways as she tugged his wet hair from its bindings and began combing out the snags.

He was so terrible at looking after himself sometimes. Someone had to do it, and all.

And so she didn't say anything when he kissed her.

To this day, Ino couldn't recall how it happened. There'd been such a sense of urgency to get rid of their soggy clothes, but without that great passion she always read about. The room had lost its color to the gray outside and even in his bed with him above her, their rainslick skin left her shivering with gooseflesh.

They never talked about that day, or any of the days that followed. Oftentimes they didn't even see each other. After the loss of Chouji and Shikamaru's rapid promotions, there wasn't much of a team left. Ino just floated around as the spare kunoichi. She filled in some time with Team Gai while Neji was on leave. If a squad really needed her particular skill, they called on her. But mostly, she was alone.

Sakura was long gone from her life. Ino knew she couldn't go to her now. She didn't like to think how a boy had destroyed their friendship, and that he wasn't even there anymore. Irony of ironies that she needed to talk about a boy _now_.

She had Shikamaru, but she never _truly_ had him. But she liked to believe if what they had together was enough to get him through, then it was a small sacrifice she could willingly endure. And it wasn't that she didn't want to…

She never felt more isolated.

* * *

Hinata often wondered if she was strong.

Today she did not, _could not_ feel this to be true. She couldn't feel proud of the medic badge on her arm, not now. All she could think of at a time like this was that dreadful year after the mission, before she gained any respect from her family. Before Neji's encouraging words. Before she'd been good at one damn thing.

In the fallout of that mission, beyond the hurt, were actual logistical problems. Sasuke's desertion, two dead, and one critical injury spread the squads rather thin. Naruto being brought under Jiraiya's direct tutelage wasn't much of a shock, though it left Sakura out in the cold. Kakashi mentioned her talent for genjutsu so off she went to Kurenai and thus Kiba's empty spot was filled, in a sense. Kakashi himself made himself scarce around Konoha taking mission after mission; he did not accept another genin team.

Sakura, being the brilliant girl she was, excelled under Kurenai's training. Though where she really fit in Team Eight was the question. When they were formed with Kiba's sense of smell, Shino's bugs, and Hinata's Byakugan, they were primarily an ideal tracking team. Perhaps Sakura could follow the enemy while hiding beneath an illusion, but she was learning offensive techniques. It added an odd dynamic, to say the least. But it seemed that's what she wanted. It wasn't Hinata's place to say anything, anyway.

Sakura had her reasons for seeking such power.

Her rapid growth was staggering and Hinata often pondered whether she should feel a little jealous. But then she figured she herself mustn't have been trying hard enough. Even with her eyes, Hinata really couldn't see a thing.

It wasn't until Naruto came around that it really hurt.

Now and then he would show up at their training ground, his clothes in tatters and perhaps a band-aid or two. Hinata wasn't sure what his training entailed per say, but she got the impression it was rather…intense. But he would come and Sakura would stand close with real happiness crinkling around her eyes. She didn't bring that warmth around her new teammates, though Hinata couldn't rightly blame her for that. The wound was still raw for all of them.

And so Sakura was cold, Hinata was insecure, and Shino was silent. They all wanted the old ways and couldn't put enough trust in people they'd known since childhood. A good team they most certainly did not make. Not when they were just too scared of being hurt again.

Not even the fact that Hinata had gone on missions with Naruto raised her spirits very much at the moment. She never knew about how the Hokage had so carefully planned those missions. Tsunade, being aware of Naruto's rapid healing, knew he couldn't be injured very easily. But sending out Hinata as the medic for someone who didn't really need it did exactly what she hoped it would. It gave Hinata the self-confidence to back the talent waiting to break through.

Though that wasn't what Hinata gained from any of it. While cherishing her time with Naruto, she couldn't say it brought them any closer. It pushed her to try harder and harder to become a good medic, just to be near him again. But it was awfully hard to surpass someone like Sakura, who was already near and dear to his heart. Hinata was just another ninja who went on missions with him now and then.

She did become a good medic, despite her fears. And look at what it earned her.

Now she was involved in secretly helping to find a cure for the person that started the whole chain reaction. Certainly, the Hokage told her it was about helping Anko, but that didn't really change the world for Hinata. And that compassion Neji praised her for, the compassion that got her stuck in this situation, was rearing its head again. She had Akamaru with her. She took him everywhere when she wasn't on mission. He never grew much after his injuries and just wasn't much use as a ninja dog anymore. And thus, she always kept the dog near so he wouldn't be lonely.

Since this was the norm, she couldn't leave him behind at home now. It would raise suspicions about what she was involved in. But she didn't want to bring the dog, not to _him_. She'd asked the Hokage if there was somewhere she could keep Akamaru in the meantime. It seemed so cruel to bring such a reminder.

"I don't think I need to remind you of the situation," Tsunade had chided, "Uchiha Sasuke is not an ally and does not deserve any special treatment. For all intents and purposes, he's nothing more than a lab rat."

Hinata thought that was a harsh sentiment but chose not to share her thoughts on the matter. Just as Tsunade didn't mention the sour feeling such words left in her stomach. Words that sounded far too much like Orochimaru's for her taste.

So here she was at Anko's home with Akamaru sniffing around curiously and Sasuke sitting across the room. His hair fell over his eyes so she couldn't gage what his feelings were on the situation. Though he tensed considerably when Akamaru nudged his hand. Hinata wondered if she should worry that Akamaru might bite him, and then feared what Sasuke might do if he did. But then the dog surprised both of them by jumping into his lap. Sasuke sat ramrod straight in his seat, looking as if he might bolt any minute.

"Does it bother you?" Hinata asked calmly. _Remain clinical_ was her mind's mantra.

"I'm not much of a dog person…" Sasuke muttered.

Hinata decided not to waste any more time fretting about Akamaru. The sooner she finished up here, the sooner she could just get out. She worked on unraveling the bandages, letting her Byakugan study the wounds in fine detail. So far, she'd worked out that it seemed some sort of "venom," for lack of a better word, had seeped into the chakra circulatory system. Some segments had filled to the point of bursting, before rapidly atrophying. The stretching and withering occurred right beneath the skin and was what caused it to tear.

Unfortunately, no one had ever seen anything quite like it. There was no known antidote for the "venom" since no one could figure out exactly what it was. Hinata reminded herself to check out a few books for possible information—

"I didn't," Sasuke cut into her thoughts, "I didn't mean for it to happen."

Hinata's hands froze for a moment. She tried to carry on with business as usual, despite the hammering of her heart.

"I know," she found the words came easily.

Sasuke's good hand softly stroked Akamaru's fur. Not a dog person, he said, but he was adapting. She wondered what it was costing him to make even this small gesture. And suddenly she got it. Neji was right, just as she expected him to be. Compassion suited her well. She'd been hurting for so long, she often forgot what it was they all were fighting for.

Hinata knew right then she wanted to save Sasuke. Just as Kiba once had. Because Konoha shinobi didn't leave their own to suffer alone in the dark.

Hinata thought that maybe she _had_ become stronger. Just a little.

* * *

"_What's it like?" he had asked, already feeling stupid for posing such a question._

"_I've been wondering through this darkness for so long…" came the reply, followed by a long and empty pause. Was it raining again? "And I foolishly keep expecting to find the light someday. But I don't think it's going to happen."_

_A snort._

"_Quite the pair we make."_

"_You've only lost one eye. There's hope for you yet."_

To be continued…


	6. Ch 6: What We Couldn't Say

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 6: What We Couldn't Say

The rustling of clothing and soft breath were the only sounds in the room. Shinobi were always so good about remaining quiet even in their most private of moments. Some habits were now instincts, never to be turned off.

"Got the morning shift today?"

Shikamaru's shoulders jerked before he pulled his shirt on. It wasn't worth his effort to mention the Anbu didn't have early or late shifts, only all-consuming ones.

"You can sleep in if you want," he added, perhaps a bit too tersely.

"Can't," Ino said with a stretch, "I'm filling in for Neji-san today."

Shikamaru couldn't remember if Neji was running an Anbu mission, thus making him unavailable for his usual squad. It irked him a fair bit when his mind drew blanks on things like this.

"Oh?" was all he could say. Never show weakness, and all that.

Ino shrugged, so evidently she hadn't been privy to his business either. She methodically tugged on her own clothes as Shikamaru pulled a pill bottle from a drawer, earning Ino's disapproving frown.

"Shikamaru…don't you think, um, maybe…?"

"It's a prescription. No big deal."

Ino didn't argue the point any further. It was just another unspoken facet of ninja life. Anybody could get a hold of painkillers in a town full of soldiers. Nothing but tools of war, indeed. Ino wondered if anyone else she knew medicated themselves through living. She wondered if Sakura did.

_Stop_, she told herself, _no sense wondering about things you'll never know._

Ino was starting to think of why she even worried about anything. Nothing she did seemed to be helping anyone, anyway.

Least of all, herself.

* * *

"Rejoice, my beloved team!" Gai began his usual enthusiastic morning speech, "We have a special guest training with us today."

Lee hung on every word with rapt attention while Tenten concentrated on not rolling her eyes. Ino gave a faint smile and thought wistfully of Asuma, who did not shout early in the day. Perhaps sometimes it was nice to be nostalgic, after all…

Gai continued on with his happy banter and Lee was none too thrilled to have Tenten suddenly tug him over. Did she have to grab his ear?

"Whatever you do," she hissed right into said ear, "Do _not_ mention Sakura in front of Ino."

Lee had gained enough wisdom over the years to trust Tenten's words. She was just so good at understanding people. She had to be, to keep a team like hers running smoothly. Though even Lee knew Ino and Sakura didn't talk anymore. He, of course, was on good terms with Sakura. Well, as good of terms as could be expected. Try as he might, he had yet to sway Sakura with his affections. Admittedly, he did have a rather strong grasp on what it meant to fight a losing battle.

Since that mission four years ago, his beloved Sakura was no longer the person he once knew. To be honest, he'd be glad just to make her smile and have her mean it. Though convincing her to go on a date with him wouldn't hurt, either. But everyone knew Sakura didn't date, except for maybe Naruto. After having her heart broken in such a fashion, she wasn't willing to let anyone get so close again.

Sakura was Lee's friend. That fact was never going to chance, but sometimes it was nice to dream.

"Gai-sensei," Lee piped up, complete with a hand raised into the air like an elementary school student. He wasn't going to think about Sakura right now. "Just why isn't Neji with us today?"

They all expected to hear Gai say that he wasn't at liberty to tell them. Which was a fancy way of saying Neji was on a classified Anbu mission.

"He had familial obligations."

Oh.

_Fuck._

_

* * *

_

_This is ridiculous._

Neji knew this day was coming. Known for a long time, in fact. That didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

"You're eighteen now, Neji," Hiashi began, the two kneeling stiffly across from one another, "And you have become a fine Konoha shinobi, climbing so far as the Anbu…However, with such a great honor comes greater danger."

Neji wished he would hurry up with the preamble and just say it. It's not like Neji _couldn't_ know what this was about.

"It's been decided that you should marry," Hiashi's words were blunt and terrible heavy in that room, "We've found a suitable wife for you. Hatoko is a fine Hyuuga and together you will have a strong heir."

Of course there was no room for choice, let alone protests in that statement. Whatever common ground he and Hiashi may have found, it didn't tear down the wall between the main and branch families. There were some things being a genius couldn't change. At least Hiashi finally acknowledged the girl. She was kneeling behind Hiashi and to the right. Dark hair splashed over her fair skin like ink, shielding her pearly eyes from view. She had all the fine soft features of a Hyuuga and Neji found himself hating her for it.

He didn't want to look in a mirror when staring at his future bride. It was bad enough that he wasn't even interested in being married yet, but he didn't want a wife that was meant for nothing more than being a servant and a breeding mare.

The cage was feeling smaller these days.

* * *

Jiraiya was studying Sasuke's secondary seal again, though he still couldn't make heads or tails of it. He had never seen anything quite like it, which bothered him a great deal. There wasn't too much about seals that he didn't know but this one had him stumped. There were some familiar symbols but they were all combined in a way he didn't understand. Sasuke claimed it was Kabuto's work, though Jiraiya honestly thought the work looked far too hastily thrown together for someone that methodical to create.

But, of course, it was yet another thing Sasuke was unwilling to talk about in detail.

Jiraiya wasn't sure what the kid was trying to cover up, but it couldn't be anything good. He just sat in stiff silence with his head bowed while Jiraiya scribbled notes about the seal, planning to research each and every part. He had a question on the tip of his tongue about the twin scars on Sasuke's back but didn't see the point in asking. It wasn't as if he would get an actual answer about it.

"Looks like I'm done for now," he finally spoke.

Sasuke didn't answer. He seemed more determined just to get his shirt back on. Jiraiya felt a twinge of sympathy for the kid suddenly and wondered if Tsunade was onto something. Sasuke may have gone willingly to Orochimaru, but he wasn't _actually_ Orochimaru. He'd probably gotten quite a bitter taste of the snake's terrible ways. Whether that twisted him into the same mold or snapped him was the real question.

"I sure hope you thought it was worth all this."

"I got what I earned. Nothing more."

There was that honesty again. Jiraiya found himself wanting to be angry at Sasuke for playing the martyr, but such thoughts felt empty. Even he could realize he was trying to ignore the fact that Sasuke felt _guilty_ for his selfish choices. Well, it's not like guilt changed a fucking thing.

"…They don't know, do they?"

Jiraiya knew perfectly well who "they" were. Naruto and Sakura, of course.

"No. They don't."

Sasuke nodded once and was slow to rise to his feet. All these exams were proving to be far more taxing than he'd anticipated. Though with no real reason to fight of the curse seal and stay alive, he should have expected this sort of reaction. Anko shuffled in not long after and guided Sasuke back to his room. He seemed to sleep more and more each day, though she couldn't blame him for closing himself off.

As she returned to Jiraiya and walked him to the front door, she offered a wry smirk.

"He's not a bad kid. Not really."

"Not everyone is as decent as you are, Anko. Sasuke willingly chose that path despite knowing what he was getting involved with," Jiraiya spoke gruffly, making himself believe this to be the truth.

"He couldn't have _truly_ known," Anko may have been leaning nonchalantly against the wall, but she still reminded Jiraiya of a cobra poised to strike, "Knowing what Orochimaru is like and actually enduring time with him are two completely different things."

Well, he couldn't really argue with that logic. He thought he had Orochimaru figured out all those years ago, and the betrayal had still struck to his very core.

"Makes you almost feel sorry for the kid," Anko absently mused while examining her fingernails, "What it must have felt like to be so desperate that he'd _willingly_ put himself through all that…"

"You shouldn't let yourself get so attached, Anko," Jiraiya tried to keep his voice even, "He's a criminal and you'd do well to remember that."

He wondered if Anko had cried when Orochimaru died…

"I know," everything about her words and posture seemed so unnaturally casual, "I was one, too."

* * *

"Hinata!"

She froze, feeling so warmed and apprehensive at the sound of that voice.

"H-hi, Naruto-kun."

"You got any missions lined up?"

Her eyes immediately shot to the ground. She couldn't even look at him, fearing as if he would know her secret just by gazing at her.

"Um…well…"

" 'Cause I got this cool mission coming up and we need a medic for it. You free for it?"

"You're not going to ask Sakura-san?"

"Nah, she says she's still not battle-ready."

Hinata tried to push down the thoughts that she was probably his second choice. He had to have asked Sakura first. Why would he want her if he could have his beloved Sakura?

_Don't be jealous. It won't change anything. It's your own fault for pushing Sakura so far ahead of you, anyway._

That was the truth, too. While training under Shizune, Hinata naturally felt insecure about her abilities as a medic. As her teacher tried to reassure her, pointing out Hinata's talents such as chakra control, Hinata's frustrations got the best of her. She let it slip that Sakura's control was far superior to her own. Shizune had been good about things, reminding Hinata that they were different people and that Sakura's capabilities didn't affect or change Hinata's own abilities.

Though Shizune did mention Sakura in passing to Tsunade. And Tsunade, seeing far too much of herself in Sakura, was almost immediately compelled to take her on as an apprentice. Even if it seemed hypocritical of her, considering how she talked to Jiraiya about his training of Naruto. But if she could avoid letting someone else suffer as she had in her youth…Well, Tsunade had never been terribly close to Orochimaru and so his true nature hadn't come as much of a surprise. But she did know a thing or two about having loved and lost.

It had been little over a year and Sakura was nearing the level Hinata had attained in three.

"I-I can't do it. I'm helping Shizune-sensei with a project…" Hinata hoped her answer was vague enough. And she really hoped Naruto wouldn't ask more questions. It hurt enough already that she had to turn him down in the first place.

"Yeah? What kind of project?"

Her eyes widened considerably, though her bangs did a good enough job of concealing them. She'd really let her hair get long, hadn't she…She had to think of something to say, and quickly.

"We're researching an unknown venom," she answered. Every shinobi knew the best lies had a bit of the truth mixed in.

"Wow! That's really cool," Naruto might have smiled at her, but she knew he was just trying his best to act as people expected him to. The days of Naruto being genuinely happy about his friends' accomplishments were long gone. That is, if Hinata could even honestly say they were even friends. After that mission, Naruto, just like Sakura, couldn't really open up to anyone again. And secretly, she was sure everything achieved by the people Naruto knew only reminded him of his own shortcomings.

With so many of their circle gaining such important ranks as Anbu members or medics (or in Sakura's case, multiple specializations), and with Gaara being considered for the next Kazekage, Naruto being stuck as a chuunin had to sting. For one reason or another, it seemed a lot of people were wary of letting Naruto rise through the ranks. Hinata supposed that perhaps since Naruto trained without a team and didn't often run on full-squad missions, then maybe the council felt he wasn't "well-rounded" enough to successfully carry out the extra responsibilities connoted with a higher rank.

He'd been betrayed so badly in the past, and now he couldn't even prove his worth as a ninja to those in charge of promoting him. Yet here she was, lying right to his face. She couldn't even imagine what he would think of her if he knew she was seeking to cure the one who almost took his life. Was she making a huge mistake?

Akamaru danced around her feet, happily chasing a butterfly and completely oblivious to her torment. Suddenly she saw it so clearly in her mind, the image of Sasuke petting Akamaru and trying his damnedest to express his remorse over that horrible mission. And strangely, she felt the smallest of smiles tugging at her lips.

Sometimes, doing the right thing was the hardest path to follow. Even though she was sure she would love Naruto 'til the day she died, even though she knew she would likely lose him forever if he knew of her actions…

"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun. I'm afraid I can't help you this time."

She was going to do things her way, with compassion and kindness. She was going to save a life. _That _was her Nindo.

* * *

Naruto went home, having nothing better to do while waiting for a medic to be chosen for his mission. Not that he really thought having one was necessary. They never gave him especially challenging missions when Jiraiya wasn't accompanying him. The Akatsuki may have been lying low, but having a threat like that hanging over his head made Konoha a fair bit nervous about sending him out without proper protection. He knew better than to even bother arguing with Tsunade about it anymore.

So here he was, sprawled out on his bed. Sakura was on the floor with a vast array of books and scrolls surrounding her. This was the norm for them; Sakura constantly studying while Naruto usually lounged around after training. They didn't talk a great deal during times like this but they didn't really need to. They knew where they stood with each other and just being near one another was enough.

Most people thought they were a couple, considering the amount of time they spent together. But it wasn't like that at all. There had been a time when Naruto would have given anything to win her heart, but not now. He didn't think about it very often, but every once in a while he wondered what it would be like to have her love him like that. He would never pursue her now, of course, not with the way things ended up. Because he would never know if it was her true feelings.

She had loved so deeply once and had it ripped away. She never had the chance to grow up and choose for herself. Naruto was fairly sure she would agree to date him now since they both had nothing else. But if she still had that choice to make…? Well, Naruto would never know for sure. So he knew better than to ask.

They never mentioned Sasuke, not once in four years, but his memory was always the elephant in the room. Angry as they both had been, neither actively planned on seeking revenge. They would never let themselves become the same monster that destroyed everything they once knew. They didn't talk about what they might do if they actually saw him again. But Naruto and Sakura understood each other perfectly. The love they once felt for their wayward teammate had spoiled, leaving behind a festering wound in both their hearts.

Naruto, who nearly lost his life.

Sakura, who lost her heart.

They understood what it meant to hate someone now.

* * *

"_Does it make it any easier, knowing what you know now?"_

"_Knowing what I know now…I still can't understand why you're still going along with this."_

"_There are just some people in life that a person can't say 'no' to," a pause, "And you should know that better than anyone."_

To be continued…


	7. Ch 7: The Hardest Part

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 7: The Hardest Part

"You look exhausted."

Kakashi raised his head at the sound of Gai's voice. He couldn't say exactly how long he'd been sitting there staring at his beer, but it was clearly long enough for him to not have even noticed Gai approaching. Bad form, indeed.

"You know," Gai paused to order his own drink, "Going on all these consecutive missions is going to get you killed. And you know I would never have a rival who'd go and die like _that_."

Kakashi had probably been smiling a little underneath his mask, however morosely it might have been.

"So did anything turn up?"

"Not so much," Kakashi answered, and might have sighed though Gai couldn't tell with that mask in the way, "Jiraiya-sama's information network all but went silent a little while after the Sound fell so it's hard to find anything now. Though I guess it might be a safe assumption to say that the network's been compromised in some way."

"Hmm, maybe someone was planted in the Sound and got killed in the fight," Gai answered grimly, "Though you'd think we'd have at least known about _that_."

"Hard to say. There weren't really any bodies found, though that might be even worse."

They didn't talk about people that might have been captured, tortured, and killed for information. They didn't talk about how it might be _Konoha_ that's compromised now.

"Though," Kakashi continued, "Even if a there was a spy in the Sound, it's still rather strange that there hasn't been one person to pass along any news of the Akatsuki's status. Even finding _him_ had been purely luck."

"Him" being Itachi. His death was still considered classified information, and all. They couldn't really speak of that here.

"Have you gone to see him at all?"

This time, it was about the other classified Uchiha.

"No," Kakashi answered blandly, "I can't see what good could come out of that."

"…Come to think of it, have you met with any of those kids lately?"

Kakashi didn't answer so Gai assumed that meant that he hadn't. The fact that Kakashi was hardly ever around anymore should have made it less surprising to learn.

"No matter what happens, they're always going to think of you as their teacher. You owe it to them to check in on them once in a while."

Kakashi seemed to have snorted at that, but that damn mask could be awfully deceptive.

"As a teacher, I failed them when it mattered most. And when it comes right down to it, I ran away again just as I had in the past. I doubt they'd appreciate anything from me when I wasn't never really there when they needed me."

"I never knew you could be this much of a pessimist," Gai sounded exasperated more than anything else, "They're still alive, aren't they? What could matter more than that?"

Kakashi straightened up in his chair and wondered how he always managed to be such a fool.

"Sorry, Gai. Seems something's come up."

Gai tried not to laugh until after Kakashi left the bar.

"My dear rival, your excuses are as atrocious as ever."

* * *

Naruto hated waiting.

It was a rather typical evening in the village. Lanterns lit and people bustling and all that other crap. He and Sakura had been milling about together, though she had popped into the bookstore to look for some medical text. Naruto knew her "quick visit" was probably going to take a while, considering her love of books, so he took to standing around outside. Though considering his impulsive nature, he wasn't very good at just staying there doing nothing.

And he wasn't sure if it was a good thing that the only person who stopped to chat was Shino.

They saw each other often enough since Naruto hung around Team 8's training ground to see Sakura. But Shino was just one of those people that made Naruto a fair bit uncomfortable. Yet here they were talking…sort of.

"Did you end up finding a medic?" Shino asked, though he didn't sound as if he'd care one way or another.

"Yeah, got one assigned. We leave tomorrow, I guess," Naruto shrugged," Must be nice for you though, having two on your team."

"Sakura isn't ready for field operations yet in that regard."

"Yeah, that's what she says," Naruto muttered, wondering how perfect Sakura felt she needed to be to feel "ready," "Hey, Shino…"

He managed to convey his irritation without having to say anything. He just wanted Naruto to come out and say whatever it was he was thinking.

"Sakura-chan…she's been doing okay on missions, right?"

"She's a fine kunoichi," Shino answered flatly. He didn't add that Naruto knew Sakura better than anyone else and should have already known how she was doing.

"It's just, I don't know, I worry. Since I can't be there to protect her myself."

Shino was fairly certain Sakura didn't want anyone to protect her. With an arsenal of powerful genjutsu, medical techniques, and chakra-honed superior strength, she was rather adamant about not needing help.

"And Hinata's okay, too? I mean, after…after, ya know, she just seems to be overworking herself. Like Sakura-chan. Juuken and medic stuff, now a research project," Naruto had conveniently skipped over mentioning the mission (Kiba's death) out loud, but nobody ever said anything out loud about it. Not really.

"She'll be fine," Shino was terse as always, though Naruto got the impression there was an extra bit of edge to it now, "She's my teammate so I'll keep her safe…For Kiba's sake, too."

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like talking about anything remotely connected to the mission. Figured a guy like Shino would have no problems just putting it out in the open like that.

"Man…Kiba really liked her, huh…" Shino gave a noncommittal grunt in response.

"Ya know, with you looking out for her all this time, I bet Hinata might like—"

"You shouldn't assume things," Shino cut him off briskly. He was sorely tempted to punch Naruto simply for being so _dense_. But he didn't. It wasn't his place to mention Hinata's true feelings in any of this.

At least Sakura had the good fortune to exit the store at that moment.

It seemed this was where they would part ways with Shino when a voice caught their attention.

"Hey, have you two had dinner yet?"

"Kakashi-sensei?"

* * *

"It's been a long time since we've done something like this," Kakashi said as he stared across the table at his former students. He tried not to think about how a third person should be sitting there. Or that he _could_ be sitting there. Just as he didn't think about how there were three other people from a team long ago that should be sitting there with him.

"So what's the occasion?" Naruto drawled. Sakura, however, only glanced up now and then from the book she was reading.

"No reason, really. I just wanted to see how you two have been," Kakashi replied, ignoring their somewhat skeptical expressions, "So training's been going well?"

"Well enough," Naruto said between mouthfuls of noodles, "Ain't like I'm gonna get promoted for it, though."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. He knew Naruto had to have changed a little over these past years, but he hadn't been expecting this cynical side. Though it wasn't as if Naruto didn't have the right to feel that way, all things considered.

"Well, I guess as soon as the Akat—those guys are outta the way, I'll move up to jounin in no time," Naruto offered a grin. Perhaps not everything was lost just yet…

"Who'd trust you with kids?" Sakura spoke mildly as she turned a page.

"Hey! I can see you laughing behind that book!"

Kakashi felt his heart warm, seeing those two bicker just like they had years ago. He really should make an effort to see them more often.

"And what about you, Sakura? Fairing well with two specializations?"

"Kurenai-sensei's taught me almost everything there is to know at my current level, and my exam is coming up next month for my medical license," she answered briskly, not seeming terribly excited by her achievements.

"Not many people can withstand that kind of effort. You should be very proud of yourself," Kakashi stated, trying to remember a twelve-year old girl who cared more about boys than studying jutsu.

"I have a long way to go. It won't do me any good to become complacent with my growth," she finally put the book away and started in on her meal.

Kakashi wondered how strong she hoped to be if she _were_ to seek revenge. He realized Sasuke, as he was now, probably wouldn't survive a fight with her. At least not if she punched like Tsunade.

_Yet he somehow killed Itachi…_

_

* * *

_

Anko hid her smile behind her hand as Kakashi brought her groceries inside. Normally, they'd have some genin brats bring over groceries as a D-rank mission. Or "helping out that crazy snake lady" as they called it. She usually hissed at them just for good measure. If she was feeling particularly snitty, she might have made an off-handed comment about the things _she_ was doing at their age. Maybe the Hokage decided not to send over any more green genin?

Yeah right.

"You know you can come see him whenever you want, right?" she tossed out.

"Hmm? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

Geh, lame as ever.

As Kakashi sorted out the food, he'd study a package here and there.

"I didn't think he developed a taste for sweets," he finally said.

"…He doesn't really eat as it is. So I don't think he's going to complain."

"Oh."

"He should be in his room," Anko added. She wasn't much for subtle behavior.

Kakashi nodded once and headed down the hall. She was right; Sasuke was in the spare bedroom, sitting in a chair in the dark. Well, almost dark. There was a nightlight on in the corner.

"You didn't have to come here."

Interesting choice of words, Kakashi thought. Not "you shouldn't be here" or even "why did you come here." Maybe he and Sasuke _had_ reached some sort of understanding.

"But here I am," Kakashi said plainly.

"Hn."

"Now," Kakashi took a seat on the edge of the bed, "I don't suppose you're ever going to explain how you won that fight?"

"I don't see how that's any concern of yours," Sasuke snapped back, "It's over and done with."

Still a sore subject, eh?

"And do you wish now that you hadn't gone through with it?"

The silence that followed was the heaviest Kakashi had known in a long while. It felt almost like a physical force pushing down on his shoulders. Some part of him wondered if he should tread a little more carefully, given Sasuke's condition. The rest of him recognized he didn't have that kind of time.

"No," Sasuke's voice was relatively soft, but he sounded more confident now than in the entire time since returning to Konoha, "I needed to do this. I don't think I could have taken not knowing. Especially not back then."

Sasuke really had grown up during his time away. He may have been hiding quite a bit about what went on in his absence, but he could still be brutally honest about his self-realizations.

Kakashi knew he probably should leave. Sasuke clearly wasn't going to answer any questions about Itachi or the Sound. Not to mention moments like this were going to make it that much harder when Sasuke did die. Kakashi wasn't sure who it was going to be harder for.

"They're going to find out sooner or later. You know that, right?"

Of course Sasuke knew. Everything always came back to that, didn't it…

"I haven't got much time left so there's no point in ever telling them the truth. I'm sure you can think up something creative to pacify them with."

Kakashi was sure he knew now. He knew who this would be harder for.

* * *

Temari let the door slam shut as she tugged off her shoes. She was getting right sick of coming back to a hotel day after day here. Maybe the three of them should think about getting an apartment in Konoha. They were in town often enough…

"Hey, I brought take-out," she called out. Kankurou was lounging by the table, spare puppet parts scattered about.

"Took ya long enough."

"If you're not gonna be grateful, you're not getting anything to eat," she snarled before depositing the bags on the table none-too-gently. He muttered something about bossy sisters but cleared away his gear and helped unpack dinner.

The rattling shuffle of sand was a sound neither of them really took notice of anymore as Gaara made his way in.

"You hungry?" Temari gestured to the table.

"A little," Gaara answered and took a seat. Temari brushed stray hair from his eyes, pleased that he didn't flinch under her touch. She was even more grateful that the sand held still.

"Your hair's getting long."

"Do you dislike it?"

She smiled faintly, watching the blood red strands spill through her fingers.

"No, it looks kinda cute on you."

"Cute?" Gaara seemed to shift uncomfortably.

"Heh, before you know it, the girls'll be flocking to you," Kankurou laughed.

"…"

"Oh, quit teasing him," Temari snapped and finally sat with them.

"But seriously, you never know. Even our dear sister has a Leaf boyfriend, and all."

Temari raised an eyebrow and wasn't too happy about that curious look on Gaara's face.

"That's news to me," she said coolly before digging into her meal.

"What? You're _not _dating that Shikamaru guy?"

She slammed her chopsticks hard against the table, startling the other two (some more so than the other).

"Why would I date that idiot?"

Kankurou tried very hard not to laugh at her. He decided she must have it pretty bad for that guy.

"I don't need a boyfriend," her composure rapidly returned, "Right now, this is enough."

The three siblings looked at each other and thought maybe she wasn't completely wrong.

"That's true," Gaara added quietly, "This is enough."

_For now, having a family is enough._

_

* * *

_

A sense of foreboding drenched the training ground when Team Gai showed up. A million questions buzzed through their heads when they took one look at Neji's dark expression. Gai couldn't be certain, but he could venture a guess about what problem had arisen. He gave a curt nod to his student and was glad Neji could at least offer one in return. Lee, being Lee, prepared to rattle off a long string of questions. He liked to think that he and Neji were on good enough terms that he'd answer. Unfortunately, he never got the chance.

"Hey Neji," Tenten spoke up, "I was thinking up this new attack pattern. Let's try it out."

"Sure."

Gai wondered if anyone could have foreseen this team becoming this strong. Tenten was such a perfect fit for this group. She always gave just what was needed. Neji wasn't going to get any benefit from people asking about what bothered him. Keeping him distracted and engrossed in training was the easiest way he could work off his frustrations.

Gai felt a great deal of pride for his students. Ah, the grandness of youth…

Just before the sun began to dip, they called it a day. Neji still seemed to have a certain heaviness to his presence, but there was a marked improvement from this morning. Lee seemed satisfied with Neji's moderate upturn in mood and no longer deemed it necessary to badger him with questions. All was well, more or less.

Right before running off with the rest of her team, Tenten turned to face her teacher.

"Gai-sensei, I need to speak with you."

* * *

Tenten made her way home, heading for the family dojo. She slid the door shut and walked to the center of the room, minding the creaky floorboards slightly to her right. She stood there in the middle, soaking in the warmth from the ruby red sun as it set, watching the dust motes drift aimlessly in the light. She knew all there was to know about this room. Every angle, every texture, _everything_.

She took a deep breath, every nerve tingling as if preparing for battle. She exhaled slowly, leaving only confidence in her body.

"Yes," she told herself, "I am ready."

* * *

_The initial anger had passed. Only a deep, bone-aching sorrow lingered._

"_That night," he tried to quell the tremor in his voice, tried not to grip the sheets so tightly, "I was supposed to die then, wasn't I."_

"_Yes. You were supposed to die."_

To be continued..._  
_


	8. Ch 8: A Child's Love

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 8: A Child's Love

Team Gai was gathered together at a fine restaurant for a celebration (in theory) now that Neji's upcoming marriage appeared in the newspaper's section for nuptial announcements. Not that he had a real say on whether it should have been printed there. Lee had been set in a state bordering on shock and excitement, though it might have been better to call it misplaced anger. He'd known Neji long enough to know that he was less than thrilled about the situation, though it didn't stop Lee from trying to make the best of things. He talked grandly of how this was an important step in a man's life, along with a series of other well-meaning but otherwise trite words of inspiration.

Neji looked ready to stab him.

Gai was strangely stoic about the whole thing. He promised Neji they would share a good bottle of sake in honor of this step into adulthood. It wasn't as if he could do such a thing with Lee included, unless he wanted one hell of a fight afterwards. And Tenten…well, if Lee had to be left out, she could also handle that.

Tenten just sat there with a vague sort of smile, not really sure what else she could do in such a situation. They all knew Neji didn't want to marry, least of all not within his Clan. Hatoko was just distantly related enough so that it wouldn't "seem" too unnatural. But even that was far too close for Neji. Even so, Tenten simply did nothing beyond look polite. Neji would be disgusted if this turned into a pity party.

"It's just so weird," Lee prattled on, "I never thought you'd be the first of us to start a family."

He conveniently left out his optimistic dream of a wife and children with bright green eyes. He more specifically failed to blatantly mention Tenten at all.

Neji merely snorted at the statement, mentioned and unmentioned.

"As if I really need a servant for a wife," he muttered, "And I certainly am in no hurry for a child."

Though the Clan certainly thought otherwise.

"Maybe," Tenten finally spoke up, "maybe it won't be so terrible."

Neji raised an eyebrow at her. He couldn't fathom how even _she_ could put a positive spin on any of this.

"Even if it's a marriage that you don't want," she paused, hoping he wouldn't overreact before she said her piece, "A child might not be so unbearable."

"Oh?" he scoffed, "And why is that?"

All he could see was a child born of a loveless marriage and then neglected due to his heavy workload.

"Well, friends and lovers may come and go…but no one can ever love a person as purely and unconditionally as a child loves its parents."

Neji couldn't believe it. She'd done it again. For better or worse, Tenten told him exactly what he needed to hear.

It was horrible of him, Neji realized, that he had been so angry about the situation that he hadn't thought of his own father until now. He hadn't married for love, yet had loved Neji so greatly. And it was true; Neji had never cared about anyone as deeply as he had his father. It wasn't an ideal situation by any means, but there was a glimmer of hope left. He could breathe a little easier in his cage.

* * *

Anko was going through the motions of keeping house. Washing dishes (there should have been more than what was there), laundry (the blood wasn't coming out), cleaning the bathroom (when did he break the mirror?). It wasn't even noon yet and she was already exhausted. Figured.

She went to wake Sasuke and discovered it was not going to be one of his better days. She got him to sit up but it seemed that was the extent of his mobility. Whether it was purely a physical problem or something far deeper didn't matter, not really. It didn't change the fact that she had a half-blind wounded boy in her care (more or less). It made her wonder how terribly driven he must have been to have survived alone in that one year after the Sound fell. To have forced himself no matter how much he suffered to track down and kill _the _Uchiha Itachi.

She wanted to make a joke about serving breakfast in bed but she doubted he'd even eat it. She was going to tell him that he should eat more to keep what little strength he had, but there was no bloody point to that. Everyday, she watched him die a little bit and heard the clock ticking towards her own impending death. Not so long from now, it was going to be her in that bed.

She wanted to be angry with him, spectacularly so. She knew he had to know more than he was letting on. If he could make himself be strong enough to kill one of the strongest shinobi alive, he had to know some way of combating the curse. The answers were all in that secondary seal, staring her right in the face, yet he betrayed nothing. He just allowed himself to rot away, pulling her down with him.

She didn't want to die from his silence. She just plain didn't want to die.

What was it about this kid that just wouldn't let her be mad at him?

* * *

Sakura missed the seasons.

Or to be more accurate, she never noticed them anymore. So absorbed in everything else as she was, she just didn't keep track of them. There never seemed to be time to take in spring flowers, or enjoy warm summer rain, or be in awe of fire-colored autumns, or see the beauty of crisp snow.

And what an irony that was. With her genjutsu, she was rather adept at creating fantastic visions of icy unending winters. She was hard-pressed to find an enemy that wasn't terrified of freezing to death. Or at least believing they were going to, before being picked off. More than a handful of shinobi had taken to giving her the nickname "Ice Queen," though she had a sinking feeling it had far less to do with her abilities than she'd like to believe.

Sometimes she really disliked who she had become. Perhaps if she hadn't been so appallingly weak to begin with, she wouldn't have been forced to be the person she was now.

She hadn't been lying when she told Sasuke his leaving would make her feel as abandoned as he once was. She'd put all her being into loving him, handed her heart to him on a silver platter, and had it ground to dust beneath his heel.

She didn't eat apples anymore.

And maybe, just maybe, she might have been able to let go. She might have understood someday. But to learn the person she once loved so desperately had been willing to murder his teammate in cold blood robbed her of that. She couldn't have really known him, if she had been unable to know what he was capable of. Though maybe it hurt so damn much because now she understood him _too _well.

Had this been what it was like for him? To have the person he loved above all else betray him so deeply that he could never love again?

And he so carelessly would put another in his shoes.

But Sakura was better than that, she concluded. Even as she sought power, she did it her own way. At first, she wanted to be strong so that no one else would ever have to protect her again. Never again would she put Naruto in the position of making promises because she was too weak to accomplish anything on her own. She threw herself completely into her training, wounded heart and all. She made many a great accomplishment, but it hadn't seemed to be enough. It terrified her that she could feel so empty despite her growth.

But then it occurred to her what she was really seeking. She didn't want to be strong only to serve herself. She wanted strength to protect others. When Tsunade offered an apprenticeship, she clung frantically to it. As a medic, she could save lives rather than destroy them. To this very day, she did nothing but work towards becoming better at it. She was going to be perfect. Never again would she lose her friends.

At least, she wouldn't lose them in combat.

She knew how wide the gap had grown between the people she had so cherished. Naruto, her dearest and closest friend, would never be more than that. No matter what happened, he would always fear he was only "the substitute," only "second-best." And she just couldn't bear to be the one to hurt him. It didn't help that she was now teammates with Hinata. Sakura wished with every waking breath that things were different. She wished she could reach beyond the gap and latch onto the sincere friendship waiting within Hinata. Sakura wanted to tell her to have courage, to love freely, to _pursue him_.

But love was spoiled for Sakura. She couldn't speak such words so easily to herself, let alone anyone else.

She wished she could offer Lee affection, even as friends, but she said nothing and did nothing. Even though she knew her cold silence hurt him. To think she once ended one of her greatest friendships of all time over something as foolish as idealistic love.

She missed Ino terribly.

But how did a person take back all those wounded years? Ino lost a dear friend because of the person Sakura had destroyed their bond for. All the apologies in the world couldn't change that. Nothing was good anymore.

So she studied hard because it kept her from thinking about all the wonderful things that were gone. All that hard work kept her from remembering that two people were dead, that the one true friend she had in this world was probably hurting more than she was, that she was probably incapable of loving anyone again.

Sakura wished she could still enjoy flowers, but her heart withered at the thought of them.

* * *

Tenten smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes and let out a deep breath as she stared at herself in the mirror. She was dressed in her finest, as in the best for combat. Her most essential scrolls tucked within the folds, not to mention assorted other hidden weapons. Though she had her favorite bo staff strapped to her back. It bore black singe marks at one end, for it had once been her mother's. Her mother, who carried it to her death against the Kyuubi.

Today would be the most important of Tenten's life and she prayed for her mother's courage to guide her.

She marched with her head held high towards her beloved dojo and opened the doors boldly before stepping inside.

The calm silence and open spaces did not give their usual greeting. Instead there was a crowd awaiting her, all arranged in neat and orderly preordained positions. Tenten took her own place at the center of the room, the squeaky floorboards to her right, and knelt.

Her father was seated across the room, the family weaponry hung on the wall behind him.

"Today is a grand moment for our family," he spoke with a confident and commanding voice. He made no comment as to her choice in attire, "We are gathered here as proud members of Konoha to bring our village closer together. With this union, our two families…"

Tenten was certain her father named the other clan involved but she had stopped listening. She tried to keep a smile from creeping onto her face, tried not to guess their reactions. She had trained her entire life for this one moment. It was time.

"I give my daughter Tenten freely to you as a gift to solidify our unification."

"Father," she began not long after he finished, "It seems you have forgotten something."

He raised an eyebrow, having a vague idea as to what she was going to say. Though he doubted she would seriously try something like that.

"I am now eighteen. As is the rule of our Clan, I have the right to challenge for the title of heir."

The happiness within the room seemed to drain away through the floor, leaving a heavy silence in its wake. It took only mere moments for her father to recover.

"Don't be preposterous," his voice was like warm air passing over steel, "Such laws do not apply to you."

"And why is that?" her face only showed her conviction, nothing more, "As a child of the head of this Clan, I am more than worthy of such. I have memorized all of our techniques. I have an impressive record from serving our village. I know I am strong enough. Why should I be denied what is rightfully mine?"

"Because you are a woman," he answered flatly, his anger far more palpable now, "Never would our Clan allow such a thing."

"My gender dictates nothing about my abilities," she refused to back down, "I am a Konoha jounin. I want to fight and protect this village representing my family. I want to bear my own last name!"

Her father was on his feet now, heavily scrutinizing the weapon displayed on her back.

"It was a mistake for me to let you indulge your ninja dreams," he rasped, shaking with untold rage, "Girls are not given our last name for they do not keep them. It is their duty to marry into other families to give our strength throughout Konoha. You will continue to honor our great village by doing exactly as all who came before you."

There was movement all around her, words of apology floating past her ears from her father to her "new family," but Tenten heard nothing and saw nothing. She was frozen in place trying to absorb this horrid and humiliating shock.

All her life, _all her life_, she had been waiting for this moment. And now it was gone before she was even given the chance to try. If only they had let her show them her strength, she was certain she could prove them wrong. Women were more than bartering tools for clan alliances. They were Konoha shinobi. She ground her teeth as she thought of all the wasted potential.

"_From today you are genin! I'd like to hear your goals, yes!"_

"_I would like to become a strong ninja…like the legendary female ninja Tsunade-sama._"

She bit her lip and reminded herself again not to cry. If Neji could face his own impending marriage, then so could she. She would not disappoint them. She would not cry. She would not—

* * *

Naruto walked down the hall whistling some off-key half-remembered song. He was back from his latest mission and was going to give his report to Tsunade, not that he had much to say. It hadn't been remotely challenging. But at least he had the good fortune of running into Sakura along the way.

"How was the mission?" she asked plainly, though she could venture a guess as to what his answer might be.

"Bo-ring," Naruto drawled, "It was waaay too easy for a great ninja like me."

"Of course, of course," she waved off the rest of his probable rant.

"Done with training today…or are you just getting started?"

"Oh, I finished up with my work with Team 8. Hinata had to leave to work on that research project of hers, so I thought I'd come see if Tsunade-shishou was available."

Naruto nodded and they continued towards the Hokage's office. Right before he knocked on her door, he stopped to listen to the voice shouting on the other side. Especially since that voice belonged to Jiraiya.

"I'm telling you, he's hiding something huge! We can't afford to let him remain silent!"

"What do you expect me to do?" Tsunade snapped back, "If Ibiki isn't going to interrogate him, and we certainly can't notify anybody else about his being in Konoha, how do you expect to get answers out of him? He won't even talk to _Kakashi_ about it."

"There's got to be something we can do. Genjutsu maybe?"

"He's in no condition to survive something like that."

"You mean to tell me that between you, Shizune, and Hinata, you've found _nothing_ to cure him?"

Naruto and Sakura exchanged wary glances, both wondering if they should just leave and pretend they didn't hear anything. Clearly whatever they were talking about was not something they were supposed to know.

"Not a damn thing," Tsunade begrudgingly admitted, "God knows what Orochimaru did to him."

Cold settled into the pits of their stomachs right before they left. That one name left them cemented in place. They couldn't be talking about _him_.

"We're running out of time, Tsunade," Jiraiya continued on wearily, "You and I both know he had to have gotten a good beat on the Akatsuki to track down his brother. He knows far too much for us to just let him be."

"I know," she answered softly, "I know. But it's just my luck that all these secrets are held by Uchiha Sasuke."

Jiraiya was going to make a wisecrack about that, until the door slammed open. So caught up in their debate, they hadn't even noticed anyone approach the office. They didn't even have time to ponder about inattentive guards. All they could do was stare at their two students looking right back at them with eyes full of rage.

* * *

_He could understand what happened to his father, in retrospect. A power-hungry and arrogant man that got nothing more than what he probably deserved: his own downfall. However…_

"_Why mother?"_

"_I hated her more than anything," he answered far too quickly._

"_How!" he shouted back, "She had been nothing but kind."_

_He thought of his mother patching up his scrapes and telling him sweet things._

"_She loved being nobility. The wealth, the notoriety, those things meant more to her than anything. She would rather sit by and silently watch her children suffer than give up her life of luxury," came the answer, one of the few times he'd ever seen him truly angry, "A woman who refuses to defend her young does not deserve to live, let alone be a mother."_

_He could agree with that and felt anger bubble up as he realized the truth. Yet he could not understand why his love for her refused to lessen._

To be continued…

* * *

Author's Note: "Shishou" is a more formal title for "teacher" that Sakura uses to address Tsunade 


	9. Ch 9: Liar

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 9: Liar

"How long?"

His words echoed through the room as if it were a tomb.

"Naruto—" Tsunade kept her voice soft, hoping to mollify him somehow. She'd known they were bound to learn the truth sooner or later, but she hadn't anticipated it happening like this. Not like this.

"How long have you been hiding this from us!"

The word "betrayal" seemed to whisper through the ensuing silence.

"It's classified information. It's not your business to know," Jiraiya sounded unusual to the two young shinobi when he was being cold. Sometimes being a great shinobi made it far too easy for a person to become detached during painful situations.

"Not our business?" Sakura countered, "He was our teammate!"

"_Was_," the Hokage reminded, "Uchiha Sasuke is a missing-nin, a criminal. How such people are handled by this village is not your concern, no matter your previous association."

"That is such bullshit," Naruto snarled, "Neither of you would have let yourselves be shut out if it was Orochimaru."

"That was different," Tsunade answered coolly, and perhaps a little somberly as she let her eyes drop down.

Both Naruto and Sakura looked ready to debate that point but Jiraiya cut them off.

"There are very few people in the world that could have dealt with Orochimaru and lived to tell about it. We were two of them," Jiraiya paused, wondering how to put this in words without escalating the fight, "Sasuke is a very dangerous individual and nothing good will come out of you two getting involved any further."

"Are you saying we're too weak?" Sakura's anger was a cold winter sea, "That he'd kill us?"

"He killed his brother," Jiraiya answered flatly, "So I think it's safe to assume that he could."

Both he and Tsunade were brought back to the age-old question of how Sasuke managed such a feat in his condition, though neither voiced it. But if they were to believe he did kill Itachi, then he could very well do in his old teammates. He certainly had the track record for it. Now was not the time to think of Sasuke lying in a bed with one foot in the grave. Now was not the time to remember that Sasuke had cared enough to want to keep his situation a secret from his former teammates.

Their students stared back at them in a state of muted shock. Sasuke had actually gotten his revenge? It didn't warrant any forgiveness on their part, but it was a small comfort to know the very reason Sasuke had put them through such hell was actually resolved. Neither were so foolish as to think, or even wish, that things could now go back to the way they once were. Those bridges were long since burned.

"Where is he?" Naruto finally forced his voice into action.

"You know I can't tell you that," Tsunade answered plainly, ignoring the ache in her chest.

Naruto barely repressed a growl as he stormed out of her office, Sakura following closely behind him. Though she did give pause at the threshold.

"I intend to spend the rest of my time before the license exam preparing on my own," her voice was clipped and any words of gratitude she wanted to impart died in her throat.

Now alone, Tsunade and Jiraiya let their weariness show through. In their noble effort to protect their students from harm, they only managed to hurt them more deeply than they could have ever imagined.

"We never learn, do we," Tsunade leaned forward on her elbows, hiding her face behind her hands.

Jiraiya took a step forward, instinctively seeking to comfort her. But he caught himself and crossed his arms across his chest. He was facing the open door, but he watched the woman by his side out of the corner of his eye.

"No," his voice was tempered with time and with loss, "We don't."

* * *

The sky had turned a peculiar coffee color, ever so slightly tinged green, as a sign of the impending storm. It did little to deter Naruto and Sakura, who were hellbent on getting answers. They made a mental checklist of the names they had overheard from Jiraiya and Tsunade's conversation and tried to decide who to seek out for information. Shizune had been mentioned, but she was far too loyal to Tsunade to ever divulge any secrets. There was Kakashi, but the chances of him being away on a mission were quite high. And secretly, they weren't so sure they could handle another teacher's deception head-on. That left only one surprising person left: Hinata.

The Hyuuga compound loomed before them, reeking of old money and staunch tradition. A servant at the gate seemed wary to let them pass upon seeing their dark expressions. But Sakura being a member of Hinata's squad left little reason to turn them away.

Akamaru preceded Hinata into the courtyard, though he was quick to remain by her feet. She did nothing to mask her surprise at seeing the pair standing there.

"N-naruto-kun? Sakura-san?" she greeted, instinctively knowing something wasn't right, "Did something happen?"

"A research project?" Naruto's voice was as steady as an executioner's blade, "That was the best you could come up with?"

"I'm sorry?" she did her best to appear confused, though she had a rather sinking feeling over what this was about.

"We know you know about Sasuke," Sakura snapped, "That you've been studying something Orochimaru did to him."

Sakura tried to ignore the chill such a thought gave. Sasuke went to the snake for power, something that made him capable of killing his own brother. She didn't dare imagine what it was.

"He must really be a monster now," Naruto muttered, the sight of a winged demon flickered across his mind.

Hinata shook her head and kept an eye on Akamaru. It was easier to look at the dog instead.

"No, nothing quite like that," she answered in barely more than a whisper. His body, though now a frightening thing to see, left her feeling sympathetic more than anything else.

"Where are they keeping him?" Sakura demanded, "You have to tell us."

Hinata wanted to shrink in on herself as she often did in the past. She feared that such a confrontation would come to pass, but she still felt completely unprepared for it.

"If the Hokage wouldn't tell you, then I'm afraid I'm hardly at liberty to..."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Naruto shouted, causing Hinata to flinch.

Hinata constantly reminded herself that she was doing the right thing, no matter how difficult it seemed.

"Even after being teammates all these years, you would keep this from me?" Sakura accused, her eyes narrowing dangerously, "You've got a lot of nerve."

_That_ struck rather deeply. Hinata squared her shoulders, keeping that memory of Sasuke holding Akamaru fresh in her mind. He'd tried so hard that day to apologize…

"I know you've never really seen me as your teammate," Hinata said boldly, "And I know it hurts you both to be kept in the dark about this. But I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"Kiba and Chouji are dead because of him! And Neji was hurt badly!" Naruto's rage was consuming him like fire, "_I_ almost died that day. How can you even think about hiding Sasuke from us!"

"He's sick."

Those words seemed to cool their blood for the moment. This day was proving to have far too many surprises for their taste. Just how much about Sasuke was being withheld from them?

"Kiba-kun was gave his life to try and save Sasuke-kun. And now that I've seen him for myself, I want to do my best to help as well," Hinata admitted, "Just as I want to help the both of you."

"How are you remotely helping us?" Naruto snarled. Hinata could feel her resolve wavering under the pressure. She wanted so badly to tell Naruto everything. She was so terrified of losing his respect for her but she had to press on. It was a matter of doing what was right.

"If you see each other now, you'll only hurt each other more. And I don't think I could bear that," she murmured, "You're both so angry right now, you're blinded from how much you still love him."

Sakura's hand shot out with full intention to smack Hinata across the face with very little care for her own super-strength. She would have succeeded, if not for a timely intervention.

"I believe you've worn out your welcome," Neji spoke tersely, keeping a firm hold on Sakura's wrist.

"You can't possibly agree with this," Naruto didn't think he could become any more disbelieving.

"It is the branch family's duty to stand by the decisions of the main house," Neji managed a wry smirk, "And I have no interest in furthering an argument with either of you. Go home."

Sakura jerked her arm free and gave an ugly scowl before stalking away. Naruto just shook his head before catching up with her.

"That was rather impressive of you," Neji offered while Hinata futilely wiped her tears away with her sleeve. Of all the people she didn't want to cry in front of, Neji probably topped her list.

"They'll never trust me again," she managed to get out before the sobs hit full-force. Neji merely snorted at that.

"They're might not get it now, but someday they'll realize how strong you've become," his bland tone belied his words, "I can't imagine anyone who couldn't respect a person for maintaining such conviction under that kind of adversity."

Hinata's tears seemed to freeze in their tracks as she raised her face to meet his scrutiny. She felt her whole being warm as she finally understood how proud Neji had become of her. In his own solemn way, he was her support when no one else even cared.

"How do you always say the words I need to hear?" her voice was nearly stolen by the rising wind.

"It's something I learned from a friend," he answered stiffly, turning away ever so slightly. He still didn't know how to take such a compliment as graciously as Tenten.

"Thank you," she could not help but bow, her gratitude threatening to overwhelm her, "Thank you."

"Raise your head, Hinata-sama," he chided softly, looking her square in the face again, "Someday you will be leading this Clan. You bow to no one."

* * *

Kakashi had been sleeping when there was a sudden banging. He'd first mistaken it for thunder before realizing someone was pounding on his door. He was resting between missions and couldn't imagine something so urgent had come up in the meantime. At least, nothing he was willing to acknowledge.

When he opened the door, he found his two former students staring back at him. At this point, they didn't appear quite so angry as they did desperate. But he gave nothing away as he casually leaned against the frame.

"Looks like quite a nasty storm's brewing," he commented, "Were you looking for a place to crash? I can put the tea kettle on…"

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura's temper seemed to have subsided as she prepared herself for that last betrayal.

"Where's Sasuke?" Naruto's fists trembled at his sides.

"Ah, so you've heard," Kakashi kept his cool, figuring there was nothing else that could have brought them here, "What will you do if I tell you?"

Neither responded, trying to put their bravest faces in place. It was difficult to put into words how much they needed to see Sasuke. It wasn't to reclaim a lost friendship, and they both had promised themselves they would not seek revenge as he had, but they had to go.

"We have unfinished business with him," Naruto said flatly, unable to meet Kakashi's gaze. Kakashi knew what he meant. They were never going to move on if they didn't reach some sort of closure with their wayward teammate.

"I suppose you do," came his dry response, "Though I imagine you wouldn't be here if the Hokage actually approved of this course of action."

They seemed to almost visibly deflate before him. Evidently they hadn't taken being left out very well at all. Kakashi didn't even bother contemplating the argument that must have ensued in Tsunade's office.

"But since you're both intelligent shinobi, it probably wouldn't surprise anyone if you sought out Anko on this matter. She was Orochimaru's old student, and all."

He didn't think their eyes could grow any wider at his cryptic answer. Sakura blinked owlishly at him while Naruto tried to sputter out some sort of response.

"Now, I don't suppose I could interest either of you in that cup of tea?"

"Sorry, Sensei," Sakura's lips pulled themselves into an awkward and faint smile, reminding him of her younger self, "It seems we have to get going."

"Maybe another time," Naruto offered in a rush of words before all but bounding off. Kakashi watched them disappear into the distance, half-wondering if he should have gone with them. If not to be their support, then perhaps to be Sasuke's. It wasn't as if anyone else was going to be there for him. Kakashi could have laughed over the fact that perhaps Gai had actually imparted some true wisdom.

Once their teacher, always their teacher.

* * *

Sakura looked at the address of the modest little house, checking it for the third time against the scrap of paper in her hand. She knew she was stalling, but now that she was a few steps away from seeing Sasuke again, she could feel her old insecurities creeping up. Naruto's hand was suddenly gripping her own and it pulled her out of her dismal thoughts. She gently squeezed back in return as she felt their bond strengthen. It had only taken one day to strip away the remaining trust they once had in anyone else aside from each other. Even Kakashi's concession did very little to cover up the fact that he had been hiding this from them.

They knew now that they only had one another in this bleak little world. But they would face their deepest hurt together. They approached the door.

When it opened, the Anko that greeted them scarcely reminded them of that brash chuunin examiner from their memories.

"Took you long enough," she spoke easily, stepping aside to let them in.

The lights were dimmed and the rooms held that sickness smell. Naruto and Sakura could feel icy dread crawl into their blood as they once again pondered if coming here had actually been a good idea. If they were going to be completely honest, they could admit it was a terrible idea. But it was still a necessary one.

Anko brought them to a closed door and knocked a couple of times.

"Hey," she called mildly to the other side, "You've got visitors."

She turned the knob and the pair knew there was no turning back. With shaky breath, they walked through.

Sasuke was sitting up in bed, the blankets bunched up around his waist. He turned his head more than should have been necessary, had he been able to see out of that side. The three stared at each other with indescribable tension as they tried to take in all the changes.

"Sasuke," Naruto wished his voice hadn't croaked so pitifully.

"You got taller," Sasuke said blandly.

Naruto could feel the blade twist deeper into his heart, begging silently for his anger to return. Frankly, Sasuke didn't seem well at all. His face was drawn and sallow, a patch hiding one eye. Bandages were wrapped firmly around his left arm with faint traces of red seeping through. Hinata had said he was sick…

"What," Sakura tried to get her words past her tongue, "What happened to your eye?"

Tsunade said Orochimaru had done something to him.

"Lost it in a fight," he answered crisply. It was the truth, more or less.

Sakura's hair was still short, but fell around her face in sharper angles. Boots, elbow guards, and gloves. She must have become a far more serious kunoichi than he recalled her being. Good for her.

"So you killed your brother," Naruto didn't need to make it a question. Sasuke's working hand gripped the bedding tightly.

"Yeah, he's dead."

"I hope you're happy now," Naruto hoped he sounded pissed, but probably sounded pained more than anything.

"This was never about happiness," Sasuke's voice took on a snarling quality, "That much should have been obvious."

"So that was it?" Sakura's voice was sharp and cold, "Do you have any idea how many lives you destroyed for your revenge?"

"I never asked for anyone to chase after me," he snapped, "It's your own fault for giving a damn."

Sakura seemed too stunned by his harsh words to form a response. She thought back on her childhood self and wondered how that girl ever dared to care for such a person.

"You selfish—"

"Don't even start," Sasuke interrupted, "You should be fucking grateful. It looks like you actually did something useful with yourself once I was gone."

"You better watch your mouth, asshole," Naruto could endure a lot, but there was no way he'd let Sakura get hurt again, "I can't even believe they let you back here alive."

"I wouldn't get too excited over that," Sasuke's rage seemed to sober some, "They just want to figure out this curse so they can fix Anko. I'm still on death row."

"Bullshit," Sakura sneered, "We know Orochimaru's dead."

"You don't make a pact with the devil without a price," Sasuke glanced towards the window, though the shades were drawn, "He gave me power, and this is my payment."

"It didn't have to be this way," Naruto was the most resigned of the three, "You could have made a decent life for yourself here."

"There was nothing for me to live for here," Sasuke focused his glare on them, "That hasn't changed."

"You're a goddamn liar!" Naruto shouted, angry chakra threatening to leak to the surface, "Don't you dare say we didn't mean anything to you! _You're_ the one who told me I was your best friend!"

"And then I stabbed you through the chest," Sasuke admitted calmly, "Surely you must have realized I was only trying to get you to drop your guard."

Naruto felt his whole body go numb and vaguely feared that he was going to be sick. It couldn't be true. The only sliver of hope he'd clung to all these years were those words. He could almost believe Sasuke had once cared, even if his terrible ambitions had gotten the better of him. Naruto knew now what a fool he had been.

"I don't know what you were expecting," Sasuke's voice was steady as ever, if not a bit raspier than his younger days, "You're wasting your time coming around here."

"Ain't that the fucking truth," Naruto muttered, "I don't know why I bothered."

He spoke those words, yet he couldn't bring himself to leave yet. He didn't want to just turn tail and flee. He didn't want Sasuke to think he was such a coward.

"I hope you rot in hell for this," Naruto growled out before turning for the door. Sakura did her best to repress her body's traitorous trembling. She would finally prove how much stronger she had become.

"I never loved you."

Even Naruto gave pause from his dramatic exit at those words. He knew how hurt she'd been by Sasuke's leaving, but he never thought he'd see the day when she said those words. Sasuke's lips quirked ever so slightly, his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Right before they slammed the door on him, his voice trailed after them.

"Sakura…You really have done well for yourself."

* * *

The rain was coming down in sharp, think sheets and they were drenched within moments of being outside. They stared at each other for mere moments, their faces too soaked to know for certain. But somehow they found themselves holding each other impossibly tight, hiding their faces from one another. The thunder was merciful to mask their voices.

* * *

Anko wandered into his room not long after his old team left. She sat by his side on the edge of the bed, holding a well-used rag to his mouth as he spat up excess blood. She tried not to think of how far his illness had progressed. Not right now.

"That was a little unnecessary," she scolded gently.

"They'll thank me for it someday," his voice hitched unevenly. The room's faint light made it too difficult for her to tell if his cheek was damp. Not that she'd ever point it out.

"If you say so," she kept her voice at a soothing volume, "Though I can't see how this is a better solution."

"It'll be easier for them in the end. I'd rather be hated than have them mourn for me."

_They've suffered enough for my sake._

_

* * *

_

_He was backed against a tree, crawled there on his knees, and the blood on his hands wasn't his. He could see more clearly, though it hurt fiercely to do so. He sat there in the most profound state of shock watching the fire waver. They were closing in on him, yet he wasn't afraid anymore. Mostly, he was disappointed. But it felt deeper than that._

_After grasping so much of the truth about that day from all those years ago, he should have realized this was the only way he could have unlocked the final secret._

_That fucker._

To be continued…


	10. Ch 10: To Forgive

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 10: To Forgive

It seemed like a perfectly normal morning. The air was a little cool, as was expected the day after a storm. But nothing seemed particularly out of place. Ino was just about to reach for her apron and open the shop when a messenger bird appeared in the window. Perhaps a mission had come up for her?

She took the note and was pondering where she would be sent, and with who. But as she scanned over the words, she felt her blood freeze in her veins.

"Permanent transfer to Team 13 effective immediately."

Gai's squad. All she could think of was who must have been injured to cause such an opening. Who might have _died_?

* * *

But she obeyed the order despite her fears. Now Ino stood at the training ground, clutching the letter in her trembling fist and trying not to imagine who wouldn't be showing up.

Lee was the first to arrive, enthusiastic to begin training as always. He gave Ino a curious glance, though she didn't seem interested in answering any questions. His natural assumption was that Neji probably had family matters to attend to. At least, that's what he believed until Neji showed up shortly after him. He seemed puzzled for a moment as well, though he did a fine job of hiding it.

When their teacher finally arrived, he was strangely subdued. No warm greetings or sparkling smiles.

"Gai-sensei," Ino raised her fist with the tightly-held message.

"First, just so we're all on the same page, Ino is now an official member of our squad. I'm sure we'll all be able to work together to be a great team," Gai began, earning incredulous looks. Though Lee's expression was more than enough for all three of them.

"But—But what about Tenten-san?" Ino barely held back her shout.

Gai hated moments like this. The three of them were staring at him with their hearts in their eyes (though Neji attempted to maintain a relatively neutral expression). But times like this were also a part of life.

"I'm afraid to announce that Tenten has effectively resigned from active duty."

"What!" Lee cried, "That's impossible!"

Gai gestured for Lee to remain calm so that he could continue with his explanation.

"Was she injured?" came Neji's question, his voice cool and even.

"No…no, she's not injured," Gai replied, knowing that she was at least physically well, "Family obligations, actually."

Neji was learning to severely dislike that phrase.

"What do you mean?" Ino asked. She didn't know Tenten extremely well, but the girl had never hinted there was trouble at home.

"Well, it seems we have another marriage to celebrate," Gai tried to sound sincere about it, but he didn't see very happy people staring back at him, "Her family has arranged for her to wed, and as is their custom, the female members of Tenten's clan are expected to leave behind their shinobi duties to take care of their new families."

"What kind of stupid rule is that?" Ino muttered.

"But being a great kunoichi was Tenten's dream!" Lee didn't even bother keeping his voice down anymore, "She can't just give up like that!"

"I'm told she did challenge for the title of heir, but was flat out refused," Gai replied grimly, "Our Tenten did the best she could, but…"

Lee seemed to deflate upon hearing that. He, too, remembered how awful it felt to think he might have never gotten to chase his own dream. He often wondered what his life might have been like if he never had that operation, and it gave him cold sweats.

"How come she never told us?" Lee took on a more defeated tone.

"Tenten loved being a ninja," Gai seemed a bit more exuberant at the thought, "I think she just wanted to enjoy her time as best she could, always hoping that she would find a way to stay."

_She didn't want us to worry about her._

_Even though all she ever did was look after **us**._

Neji's stance was rigid with his jaw set tight, his hands in shaking white-knuckle fists at his sides. Even though they both suffered through similar "family obligations," she did nothing but smile and wish him well. Yet who the hell was there for her during all her struggles? As a team, they'd sorely taken her presence for granted. Neji did not like that she just up and left, leaving them indebted with no chance to repay her.

And mostly, he was getting sick of being left in the dark yet again.

"Is there anything else you'd care to enlighten us about?" he couldn't restrain a sneer when he finally spoke up.

Gai knew he should have expected Neji's cold anger as a reaction, but this seemed to be far deeper. The squad watched Neji expectantly to learn of what else he had to say.

"When were you going to tell us that Uchiha Sasuke is back in Konoha?"

* * *

In a town full of ninjas who are trained to expertly gain information, it didn't take very long for the news to get around. Not only was Sasuke back, but both Naruto and Sakura had quit their apprenticeships with their respective members of the Legendary Sannin. One supposed that if Tsunade demanded it, the two would be forced to obey her orders and return to duty. Though she remained strangely silent on all accounts.

Naruto was sprawled out on his bed, every now and then glancing over at a table where a picture frame was lying face down. There had been an exhausting string of people knocking at his door all day. Was he okay? Did he see Sasuke? Did Naruto kick his ass? All day, it was the same string of questions. Now it was dusk, painting the sky a fantastic scarlet, followed closely by a bruised purple. Naruto had made up his mind not to answer the door for anyone, save for Sakura, until this whole mess died down. Or until Sasuke up and died. Whichever came first.

Naruto didn't want to acknowledge how close to death Sasuke actually looked.

Just as he was going to wage war with these traitorous thoughts, there was yet another knock at the door. Naruto rolled his eyes and silently wished whoever it was would go away. Though from the sound of it, it didn't seem like they were leaving anytime soon. It was a deliberate, methodical knock each time. No attempt was more demanding than the other, but it was mighty persistent. And annoying as hell.

Naruto was going to yell at them to get lost, when he thought his eyes were deceiving him. He rubbed at them, blinked, and checked again. No, he wasn't hallucinating. That was definitely sand coming in from under the door. Naruto watched in dreaded fascination as it curled upwards, climbing the door, and turning the locks.

Well. Fuck.

The door swung open and Gaara let himself in, closing the door softly behind him.

"I knew you were still inside," Gaara explained his little "breaking-and-entering" stunt.

"Err…yeah," Naruto offered lamely, "I'm not really up for company."

Gaara's face didn't betray anything as he casually leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

"So I've heard," he replied crisply, "Are you going to throw me out?"

"Wha--? No," Naruto mumbled, "So why are you here?"

Gaara's eyes slanted in concentration, as if he were trying to solve a great puzzle.

"I am confused," Gaara began slowly, and Naruto sat up a little straighter, "I do not understand your actions."

Naruto scowl deepened as he rested his head back against the wall.

"It's kind of a long story," Naruto grumbled, staring out at that wounded sky.

"I am aware of the battle you fought with Sasuke years ago, and I know that your Hokage and your teachers did not tell you of his return. But you discovered his whereabouts and sought him out anyway," Gaara stated in a rather dry tone, "Was there something else I should know?"

"I guess not," Naruto kept his voice even, "It's just…I never really expected to be betrayed by so many people at once."

Gaara snorted, his weight shifting ever so slightly. Naruto felt a twinge of guilt for unloading these thoughts on Gaara, of all people. The guy's own _father_ tried to have him assassinated. He knew pretty damn well what people were capable of.

"So what's so confusing?" Naruto tried to move on with the conversation, despite his discomfort, "Do you think I'm overreacting?"

"I've killed people for less," Gaara answered in a bored tone. Naruto audibly gulped at the admission. He didn't think preaching that killing his teachers was a crappy idea would help the situation.

"But you and I are rather different creatures in that respect," Gaara continued, though whether he acknowledged Naruto's unease wasn't apparent, "You forgave me, despite knowing of my bloody past."

"Yeah…well, it's not like I could blame you for ending up the way you did, either," Naruto added, feeling a touch embarrassed. Both chose not to mention the major factor that shaped Gaara's personality. The same factor that could have made Naruto go down that same road.

"That's a very foolish statement to make," Gaara's eyes narrowed, sand rustling ever so softly, "Do you think Sasuke may also be nothing more than the product of his own traumatized upbringing?"

"That's different."

"Is it?" Gaara countered, "Is it only because he hurt you personally?"

"Of course not!"

"If I had killed Lee during the Chuunin Exam, would I still be welcome in your home?"

Naruto's eyes widened considerably, his pupils mere pinpoints.

"Everyone knew that was a risk during the test—"

"And if I had killed Sakura during our fight, would you think of me as your ally now?"

"…No. I probably would have killed you for it."

"Why? You know I've killed countless others," Gaara contended, "You've got quite a double-standard. So long as you and your loved ones aren't the ones being hurt, you can pardon the crime?"

Naruto looked visibly stricken as the blood drained away from his face. Not once had he ever thought he could be such a hypocrite. What if Gaara _had_ killed someone he cared about? Did that give Naruto the right to condemn him forever? Did it make Gaara any less worthy of redemption?

"So let me ask you this," Gaara's monotone snapped Naruto out of his stupor, "Why is it you can forgive me despite my crimes being far worse, yet you cannot offer the same to one of your closet friends?"

* * *

Sakura was starting to think she was a masochist.

Here she was, watching a wonderful sunset from a bench where she had woken up cold and alone four years ago. She'd left her heart to rot right on this very street. What the hell was she doing, coming back to this place now?

She glanced at the few pedestrians that had come and gone while she sat removed from the rest of the world. It wasn't until on of the passer-bys came to a slow halt that Sakura really gave any attention. But then their eyes were stuck on each other and there was no avoiding it now.

She hadn't known Ino had let her hair grow long again.

Ino hadn't known Sakura was capable of looking so hardened.

"You know, don't you?" Sakura's voice hit like a dull blade.

"It'd be impossible not to hear about it in this town," Ino answered flippantly as she took a seat next to Sakura. Her particular expertise as a ninja required her to be a fantastic actress. "So what are you going to do about him?"

"Not a goddamn thing," Sakura all but growled, "He can drop dead for all I care."

Ino scoffed at her words. Sakura hadn't changed at all. Not really.

"Oh? I didn't think you'd give up so easily," Ino maintained her haughtiness.

"I never realized what a prick he really was when I was younger," came the clipped response.

Ino was going to say that the younger Sakura knew how to see the good in people, but decided that was really pushing it.

"And what about you?" Sakura went on the offensive, "Surely you can't still be interested."

"Nope, I'm not," Ino stretched her arms above her head, "Hell, if I saw him I'd probably punch him in the face."

She didn't bother to mention that she couldn't be bothered to hold a grudge, despite everything. She had watched such resentment tear Shikamaru apart. She couldn't maintain that kind of anger when she was too busy trying to figure out how to put everything back together.

"But you," Ino gave her a pointed look, "I thought you'd be over worrying about what everyone else thought of you by now."

"Well aren't you presumptuous," Sakura couldn't help but be a little snappish. Who was Ino to talk to her like that, after avoiding her for _four years_?

"You wouldn't be trying to prove yourself to everyone if you weren't trying to cover up being in love with a traitor."

"I am _not_ in love with him," Sakura was on her feet now, almost hoping this could turn into a full-fledged fight, "And he certainly doesn't give a damn about me."

Ino just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please! If he's as sick as everyone says, then it doesn't seem like much of a shock that he'd probably act like a jackass," Ino spoke as if this much should have been obvious, "Do you think he wants you to watch him die?"

Sakura's face burned at the thought before she forced herself to gain some composure. Before the tears rolled down her cheeks. She turned to walk away when Ino called out to her again.

"You'll regret it, you know," Ino's tone softened, her lips quirking in a weak smile, "If you don't tell him the truth and he ends up dying alone, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

* * *

Moonlight was slipping through the shades, painting the room in faint filtered silver. Sasuke had been tracking its path by the way the shadows stretched and pulled taut across the floor. No one had come today. No tests and no surprise visitors. Aside from Anko checking in now and then to make sure he was still alive, she too had made herself rather scarce.

He thought he'd gotten used to the silence after all these years. But after all his travels and all his troubles, it only served to set him further on edge. Some deep part of his subconscious kept whispering _stay alive_, though he thought it was a little redundant at this point. Nonetheless, sleep was a distant stranger no matter how much he wished for it. It would be a fair bit better than having to address the thoughts crowding his mind.

But when a tap rattled the windowpane, he wondered if perhaps his self-preservation instincts weren't as dulled as they ought to have been by now. Cautiously he pulled the shades aside to find a bird waiting on the other side. While it wasn't a particularly impressive species to look at, the fact that it wasn't one native to Fire Country made it stick out sorely. A creature such as this usually kept residence in far colder and more mountainous regions.

He made quick work of the latch and pushed the window open. In return, the bird extended its leg to offer the note attached. Under that full moon, Sasuke read the words he had been dreading.

_**They are coming. Get out now.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Now that he'd grown more lucid, he could better assess his current situation. The place was cold and perhaps a little too drafty for his weakened sensibilities. But only now there was a third person to account for. Someone he didn't understand at all._

"_I don't see what you're getting out of any of this," his eyes roamed about the shabby little house, "You could walk away and nobody would probably even notice. You shouldn't have to be involved with us."_

"_That's true, I suppose," she admitted, stirring a pot heating over the fire, "But I also have a brother to look after…It's amazing, isn't it? The lengths a person could go to for a sibling."_

To be continued…


	11. Ch 11: Sasuke's Story I: Crawl

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 11: Sasuke's Story I: Crawl

It was late now, well after midnight. Sasuke tugged the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, adjusted his dead arm in its sling, slipped on his shoes all in the dark. It felt strange and not terribly stealthy to be sneaking out through the front door. But Anko was standing just around the corner out of sight and he knew she was there. She knew he knew she was there. Yet they didn't say a single thing to each other. Sasuke's assessment of her hadn't changed. She understood him perfectly. He owed her this kind of honesty in return.

She wouldn't stop him, even though his reason for leaving wasn't exactly the same as what she was probably thinking.

He let himself out without so much as a click from the door, just like any good ninja. Anko leaned back against the wall, letting her head droop. A strange lopsided smirk pulled at her mouth with a breath of soft laughter sneaking by. It would have been very easy for her to keep him here. Even if he'd been strong enough to kill a guy like Itachi, all she would have had to do was ask and he would have stayed. But she just let Sasuke, let her one hope at surviving, disappear into the night.

If she learned anything in her life, it was that when it really came down to it, no one was responsible for your survival except yourself. She'd be damned if she forced that kid to bear the burden for her. He'd come this far just to honor his dead family. Who was she, a near stranger (more or less), to make him carry on for her sake?

She sometimes wondered if maybe she could have learned to be a little more selfish. She'd certainly had the right teacher for it.

* * *

Tsunade hadn't been facetious when she said the old Uchiha Compound had been boarded up. It had taken quite a bit of effort to pry the planks loose with just one hand. He had intended to tear them all away from the door but settled for making a space just big enough for him to climb through. There was a good layer of dust coating everything, from what he could tell in the pale moonlight, and a general mustiness permeated the air. He imagined it would have been far worse if it had been the height of a Fire Country summer.

It still wouldn't hold a candle to the dank reek of the Sound.

Sasuke made his way through the familiar house, finding everything as he left it four years ago. No, this place hadn't changed at all. He was what had changed. As he ventured on, his mind covered the time he spent away in fine detail. On that time that changed him.

* * *

He'd arrived before Orochimaru still rain-soaked with his arm bleeding and two raised welts along his back. The old snake had been accommodating enough to give him a set of fine robes as a change of clothes, though it did little to change Sasuke's opinion of the man. They walked along torch-lit corridors, many lined with cells holding the "Sound Village residents," all while Orochimaru spoke grandly of the future. This new mentor, however powerful, was nothing more than a means to an end and Sasuke had no problem expressing such sentiments. Even though Kabuto warned Sasuke to mind his tongue, he felt secure in the knowledge that Orochimaru needed him quite alive to achieve his own agenda.

It was in this place Sasuke learned to appreciate the notion that there were fates far worse than death.

Orochimaru made good on his word, however. He did train Sasuke, jutsu after jutsu meticulously catalogued by his Sharingan. But more importantly, he learned several techniques that could not be copied. And considering the opponent he was going to face, he valued these most of all. He was fairly certain most of them were forbidden jutsu, but he was hardly in a position to have any moral scruples over that fact. Part of him did wonder why Orochimaru would bother teaching him such high-level techniques, even though they might one day be used against him. Sasuke justified it to himself that the man probably wanted to ensure his new body would be up to snuff when the time came. Not to mention it kept Sasuke relatively placated.

While it hadn't been the most ideal situation, it had been bearable. Sasuke knew he was learning a great deal. But things could never remain so docile.

* * *

It had seemed like an ordinary day, or at least as ordinary as it got around there. He'd lost track of exactly how long he'd been in the Sound, but he probably would have estimated somewhere around six months. It was a typical training session, nothing very out of place. Orochimaru was explaining some jutsu, he'd forgotten which particular one it had been. He just remembered feeling irritated by Orochimaru's condescending way of speaking, talking as if he were trying to teach a three year-old. Sasuke had muttered some comment telling the man to just make his point already. He did not have time to waste on useless exposition.

Even with his Sharingan, he hadn't seen the fist until it nailed him square in the jaw. He crumpled to the floor with an arc of blood splattering across the cool stone. He shakily climbed to his hands and knees, attempting to spit out the excess fluid though only managed to have most of it dribble sloppily over his chin. He hadn't been too surprised to see a tooth hit the ground and was pretty sure his jaw was broken. And here he'd thought being Orochimaru's future host offered him a certain level of security.

"You Uchiha all seem to suffer from a persistent problem," Orochimaru spoke as if he hadn't even been interrupted, "You're able to perform countless jutsu, yet you never bother to learn the how or the why behind them. What good is a technique if you don't understand anything about it?"

Even if Sasuke could use his mouth at this point, it would have been useless to try and say anything in response. This right here was the crux of the man's madness. Yes, he sought immortality. But it was for a very distinct purpose. He not only wanted to learn every jutsu for the sake of gaining supreme power, but to gain supreme _knowledge._ What it really came down to was a man who was likely too smart for his own good. His quest for ultimate understanding had torn him apart. Sasuke might have felt a little sorry for him, if he hadn't seen that same awful trait in his brother. Itachi had killed his own family to find his limits, so clearly this hunt for knowing everything never ended well. Sasuke took small comfort in knowing he didn't want to learn all there was. He just needed to know _enough_.

As he contemplated how to mollify Orochimaru's wrath, a foot caught him sharply in the ribs. At least two broke and it left him wheezing painfully. He had no idea how long the beating lasted, frozen and defenseless due to the ever-present curse seal. He awoke sometime later while Kabuto fussed over him.

"You really should learn to watch your mouth," Kabuto chastened, his polite facade wavering ever so slightly. Sasuke was actually grateful for his presence for a change. Having such a talented medic around was certainly convenient. Though he immediately started wondering if this was the same reason Orochimaru felt he could take such "liberties." And it was clear Kabuto did not like having Sasuke around. At all. Maybe he was jealous that his precious Orochimaru found someone more interesting to occupy his time. But, if Sasuke was going to be honest, he couldn't figure out why Kabuto stayed at all.

"I can't even imagine what makes you so loyal to him," Sasuke ground out, his jaw far too sore to manage much else.

"Hmm...I doubt loyal is the right word for it," Kabuto admitted mildly, "But I also have something to gain from this arrangement."

"Do I even want to know?"

"No," Kabuto chuckled softly, "Probably not."

* * *

They never discussed such things again. Even when that horrible beating proved not to be an isolated incident. If anything, the brutality of Orochimaru's treatment seemed only to grow with time. Kabuto would ever so gently inform Orochimaru that it was probably a poor idea to continuously damage his future self. It did very little to improve the situation, however, and Sasuke spent most days shuffling around in some half-wounded state. Both he and Kabuto silently questioned if Orochimaru had finally lost it completely.

But then the snake paid Sasuke a visit during his shower one day and brought the twisted game they played to a whole new level.

Sasuke had told himself he was willing to do anything for power. While he discovered he wouldn't let himself fall into Itachi's trap completely, that he wouldn't follow the supposed requirements to gain the Mangekyou Sharingan, he hadn't known he'd lower himself to _this_. At first, he fought until Orochimaru utilized the curse seal to force him into obedience. But when he decided to withhold teaching Sasuke anything new until he took up his "new role" of his own volition, Sasuke truly began to question how much his revenge was worth.

_This is the path I have chosen. There is no going back._

_

* * *

_

And so he found himself on his knees playing the whore, chanting over and over in his mind that there would be an end to this someday. It did very little to sooth his nerves. And Orochimaru was nothing if not creative for finding countless ways to strip down every shred of Sasuke's being. Sasuke had thought it bad enough that he would so willingly suffer such indignities. He hadn't wanted to believe how deep the darkness that Orochimaru dwelled in really was. The man was still human, wasn't he?

"Sasuke-kun," that raspy sound hissed by his ear, "I'm beginning to worry."

Orochimaru reached a cold hand around to grip at unresponsive flesh, slithering up and down. Up and down. Sasuke kept his focus on a candle at the far end of the room. He studied ever flicker of its flame, watched its smoke dance and drift away into the smothering darkness.

"I'm starting to fear that perhaps…not everything about this body is in working order."

"I've no need for such things," Sasuke answered dully, imagining what it would take to have that small flame grow and consume this room.

"_I _do," the hand constricted tightly, "What would it take, I wonder…"

Sasuke half-considered making a snotty comment in response. It would be far less agonizing to endure the probable violence that would ensue. But after pissing blood for the last week, having to recover from yet another series of injuries would only set back his training even further. And Orochimaru knew this.

"I'm afraid I won't be teaching you anything until you can prove everything is functioning properly," Sasuke could practically hear the smug expression on Orochimaru's face. The faint buzzing of the curse seal stung at his neck as a far less subtle reminder. _I own you, completely._

"Are you capable?" Sasuke tried not to wretch at the feel of that cold and sloppy wet tongue, "What would make this body cum?"

Sasuke contemplated biting off his own tongue to spare himself the shame. What in God's name was he doing here! He tried his damnedest to think of the life he would have when this was over. When Itachi was dead and rotting, when he had the wonderful satisfaction of knowing there would be no more ghosts to haunt him. That was the sort of quiet bliss he craved. But it wasn't doing a fucking thing to save him now.

Instead, he thought of the life he could have had. The life he walked away from. Of all the dumb and self-defeating things, he thought of Sakura.

He wondered how pretty she might have become, of how much sweeter it would have been to be wrapped in her arms than those of a deranged lunatic. She'd been so desperately, yet undeniably, in love with him. Even though she knew he wasn't the good person she once idolized.

He realized now that he probably could have had a decent life with her, had things been different. But he never could have done anything so long as his family lay in graves while their killer ran free. All the love in the world couldn't erase that sort of guilt.

After his body performed as requested, he knew he could never go back.

He would never be able to look her in the eye knowing what he'd done.

Sasuke eventually did throw up when no one was there to see him.

* * *

Occasionally, Kabuto would offhandedly comment that Sasuke was becoming a nervous wreck. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat. He threw himself into his training with rather reckless abandon, crawling for medical treatment at the end of the day. Part of him was even starting to forget exactly why he even came to this living, breathing hell.

That last year got worse. Considerably worse.

Perhaps knowing how close he was to his goal had just been too much for Orochimaru to handle. Most of the remaining Sound that were still alive didn't survive his "excitement." Well, in the end, none of the others had survived.

Most days were spent bending Sasuke around his twisted perversions, testing his body's every limit. Kabuto didn't even bother trying to keep up with healing him, nor did he seem to have any qualms with leaving Sasuke injured so long as the wounds weren't particularly serious.

In those last days, Sasuke had been convinced he was going to die. The time for the body transfer was fast approaching and he could see no way to escape in time. And just to ensure he stayed put, Orochimaru dragged him from his room in the middle of the night, opened a grate in the middle of the floor, and tossed him down the hole. Most people would mistake it for a storm drain. Around here they called it the Snake Pit, the darkest and most terrifying cell in Sound. At first, Sasuke shouted and cursed, especially after realizing there were chakra seals warding the prison. Then he tried to claw his way up, ripping his fingernails and bloodying his hands along the way. Eventually Kabuto appeared and ever so kindly told him to be quiet.

"You knew this was going to happen, Sasuke-kun."

"And you'll just let it!" Sasuke shouted, his voice already hoarse, "Even you can't honestly want him to have that kind of power!"

Kabuto's lips twitched into a nervous not-quite smile, though Sasuke couldn't see that from where he was.

"I believe I already explained to you that I have something to gain from this. Why wouldn't I allow it?"

Sasuke was left alone in silence, save for occasional bottles of water thrown down. If nothing else, it gave him a terrible amount of time to think. He'd managed to avoid it with all the shit he'd gone through here, but now he realized he'd never felt so agonizingly _lonely_. He was going to lose himself completely to that monster and there was no one there for him. Not one for tears, especially after lasting this long without them, he found himself being crushed by an insurmountable wave of despair and nothing was going to hold back his choking sobs. He was going to die alone so very far from home and there was no one to weep for him but himself.

All of a sudden, he remembered words long since lost to him. He recalled Sakura begging him to take her with him and at that moment he desperately wished he had. He didn't want to face this alone. Even after swearing to himself that he wouldn't think of her again, even though he didn't have the _right_. He was just so fucking selfish though. God help him, he missed her. He missed both of them! Even in an impossible situation such as this, he was certain Naruto would have done something completely crazy and gotten out of here alive. If nothing else, Naruto would have found that speck of light.

Sasuke understood then how grateful he was that he hadn't taken Naruto's life.

In those final hours, Sasuke felt a strange calm wash over him. He thought fondly of his old team during that time, finally grasping how hard they had tried to save him from this. He found himself rather devoid of all the anger that had driven him all these years. He was never going to be the one to kill his brother, and it actually bothered him that Orochimaru would be the one to do it. He silently prayed that they'd both kill each other so the world could just wash its hands of the both of them. But a moment later, even those feelings slipped away from him. He wasn't sure if he'd ever had such clarity of mind before, though it's been said people often feel like that when they know they're going to die.

He smiled weakly and thought once again of Naruto's eternal optimism. He bet even now, Naruto would have a plan to live through something like this. "So long as you're alive, you still have a chance," he'd probably say. Hell, it wasn't as if he really had much left to lose. If nothing else, at least one person out there would find this proof that he had existed. He reopened the gash on one of his hands and let the blood well up.

_This is for you, dead last._

With a shaky hand, he smeared his blood across the rough stone and shaped them into words.

"I can breathe. I can think. I have hope."

* * *

Away from Sasuke and his private funeral, a war had made its way to the Sound. The foreboding doors were threatening to give way.

"Hurry!" Orochimaru snarled, a frantic bundle of nerves, "Bring the boy to me!"

"There's no time for that now!" Kabuto, too, felt his anxiety swell, "You'll never have the time to adjust to the new vessel by the time they break in. And I haven't even prepared Sasuke-kun's body for the transfer."

"What have you been doing?" Orochimaru's voice was caught somewhere between a growl and a hiss, "That should have been taken care of hours ago."

"I hadn't anticipated this…" Kabuto's eyes continually darted towards the direction of fast-approaching noise, "I should have known they wouldn't remain quiet."

One glare from Orochimaru shared his thoughts on the matter before he pushed past Kabuto. He was so close to his goal. There was no way he was going to give it up now.

"Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto's tone was beseeching, ever the underling.

His feet ground to a stiff halt. Stuck somewhere between nervous agitation and his own overwhelming madness, it was near impossible for him to calculate every variable as once had. Robbed of his logic by his now twisted mind and corrupted soul, he simply didn't anticipate what should have been pathetically obvious. If he only even turned around…

Kabuto's dagger with it curved blade caught Orochimaru by the throat and tore it wide in a terrific scarlet shower. He dropped like a stone with a gurgled howl and eyes searching wildly for his attacker.

"You…you…" his words were caught in his own blood, spilling from his mouth and the wound shaped like a grim smile across his neck.

Kabuto watched with the coldest of expressions as his former master crawled across the floor on his belly like the snake he was.

"We had an agreement," Kabuto was startlingly calm, "But now they've come and not even you could have stopped them. There's no reason for me to stay anymore."

Kabuto turned away, knowing it wouldn't be much longer before they reached this spot.

"…I really was grateful, though. I just thought you should know."

* * *

Sasuke could hear the noise faintly from where he was but didn't get the chance to figure out what was happening. His seal began to sear his skin before full-blown agony set in. One minute he was standing, the next he was tearing at his shoulder. His eye was changing, his skin was pulling apart. He thought for a moment that Orochimaru was taking over. Even when he realized that wasn't the case, he was still lucid enough to know the curse seal was killing him.

But he didn't panic. The calm he achieved did not abandon him so quickly. It was somewhat satisfying to think he'd most likely be dead before Orochimaru even got a hold of him.

Then the grate opened and he made himself reach for that hand. All he could think was that it was so warm. His body went limp just as he was pulled out of the hole.

* * *

"_Even if we make it through this, there won't be anything to go back to."_

"_So long as you're still alive, nothing really matters in the end. You could still find a place to settle down and have that good life. Maybe even find a woman to share it with."_

_His face darkened like storm clouds, not knowing how to explain why he couldn't without giving himself away completely. _

"_What about you?"_

"_I never planned on getting through this. That much should have been obvious."_

"_And if you could?"_

_He never got an answer. To this day, he wondered what it might have been._

To be continued…


	12. Ch 12: Sasuke's Story II

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 12: Sasuke's Story II: The Whole Truth and Nothing But

Most of what happened at this point had to be told to Sasuke after the fact.

He spent these days slipping in and out of feverish delusional consciousness. He had no bearing. Was awake or dreaming? Was he dead? Where was he and who was he with? He was never able to focus long enough to analyze any of these questions. He was vaguely aware that it was getting colder, wherever he seemed to be going. Was that because he was dying or was it just the climate? And he certainly wasn't walking on his own. Someone was carrying him on their back. He wasn't sure how long they had been traveling, nor how far. It might have been days, it might have been one night.

He wakened briefly, lying on a stiff mat. He recalled faint firelight and images of people swimming across his vision. Just as he could make out their shapes, it all seemed to slip away like water. Though he can barely remember it, this is what he knew had happened.

Someone held his hand while tracing the wounds along his arm. Fingers that felt so cool and soothing against his burning skin. It had been such a soft touch. Sasuke began to think that maybe he'd been found by a woman.

"They're not normal," a soft voice had said, "No matter what I do, they won't stay closed."

Time passed, or at least that's what Sasuke assumed. There was some kind of noise off to the side. He tried to concentrate to figure out who this person was. Was it the one who brought him here, or was it someone else? The person was searching through various scrolls and books with near-frantic movements, scribbling notes with an ink brush. Even though his brain was far too muddled to think clearly, Sasuke had the strangest feeling that he ought to have known who it was.

He was then aware of a strange, yet oddly familiar sensation. Fingers were brushing against his neck, over his shoulder, leaving behind a trail of something wet and _warm_. He'd done this before, hadn't he? With Kakashi, and words, and blood. Was his old teacher here now? Was Kakashi trying to save him again?

There was a flash of light and spectacular pain before the void swallowed him whole.

* * *

He came to with a band of weak light slipping in through the window across his face. It was probably cloudy outside, snowing even. It felt cold enough. He was certain that he'd spoken to someone at some point after that night the seal was put on. He knew it was a binding seal, considering he wasn't in excruciating pain at the moment. The places where the skin had already torn were still open, although bandaged, but the progression seemed to have stopped for the time being. If only he could remember what had been said after that. Something about having been in hell…they said he would survive it.

He tried to sit up, lightheaded and groggy. Some sort of drug was floating through his system, probably a sedative or a painkiller or both.

"You shouldn't strain yourself. You're still recovering."

Sasuke turned, taking in the sight of the sad little shack with its graying wood and its drafts. He stopped when he caught sight of a woman. It was a small comfort to know he hadn't hallucinated about one being present. Though it was near-impossible to guess who she was. A rather concealing head wrap covered her hair and face, leaving only a pair of plum-colored eyes visible.

"Who are you?" his voice came out in a dry rasp.

"A medic," she answered in a startlingly warm tone. After going so long without a scrap of kindness, it made Sasuke rather uneasy.

"Did…did you bring me here?"

"No," she admitted, paused, carried on, "Though you needn't worry about Orochimaru coming for you. He's dead now…although it seemed to cause a terrible reaction with the curse seal."

Sasuke wasn't sure whether he should feel glad that the man was dead or pissed that he hadn't killed the snake himself. But if what the woman said was true, Orochimaru may have stripped him of any chance of exacting his true vengeance anyway. He would be a fool not to realize what bad shape he was in. There was a binding seal in place; the curse hadn't been removed.

"How do you know about the curse seal?" Sasuke wished his voice didn't sound so pathetic. Though considering his entire state, it probably didn't matter.

"Kabuto," she replied crisply, "He passed along information to me long ago, though I'm afraid much of the data was incomplete."

Kabuto? Surely he couldn't have been the one who saved him. After leaving Sasuke to suffer for three long years, there was probably very little that could have motivated him to have a change of heart now. Though he did ponder what sort of connection Kabuto had to this woman.

"So who are you, really?" Sasuke felt himself grow more suspicious with every passing moment.

"No one important."

She seemed dead set on keeping her identity a secret. Sasuke could think of any number of truths that might imply. A missing-nin, a spy of some kind, a recluse. He doubted she was going to give up her secrets just yet.

There was a shifting sound to Sasuke's left, his blind side. It only hit him now that there was someone else was in the room, probably the one who saved him. He had enough reason to believe that it wasn't Kabuto, so who could it be?

"Who's there?"

For some strange moment, he almost expected his old team to answer. If only for a moment…

"You certainly know how to get yourself into trouble."

The voice was low and smooth, reminding him of a cello as it echoed through the room. He might have thought it pleasing, had his brain not caught up with the situation. He found himself turning slowly, so slowly. It was better than seeing who was sitting on the other side of the room.

But there he was. He sat casually leaning against the wall, one knee drawn up with his forearm resting against it. He looked so utterly unaffected, the fucker.

"Why?" Sasuke's voice crawled from his dry mouth, "Why are you here?"

"I brought you here," Itachi answered plainly.

Sasuke felt what little dignity he had left wither and turn to ash. Of all the humiliating things he had to suffer, why did he have to be saved by _this man_!

"You should have left me," Sasuke spoke in rasping, graveled tones, "I made my peace down there. Why did you bring me back!"

"You would be so willing to give up after enduring all of that?"

"What right do you have to even say that! _You're_ the reason I'm like this now!"

"I don't recall telling you to follow Orochimaru," Itachi said blandly, "You're as foolish now as you were when you were seven."

Sasuke seethed at the insult, and at the mention of his "mentor." It should have been perfectly fucking obvious why Sasuke sought out Orochimaru. Didn't sitting there, half-blind and his arm in lacerated ribbons, show just how _desperate_ Sasuke was? Didn't Itachi see that Sasuke hated him enough to go through this hell to kill him? And what chance did Sasuke even have to accomplish a thing like that _now_?

"Why am I still alive?" Sasuke's weariness added years to his voice, "Why the hell would you save me!"

"Because it was necessary," Itachi answered, no change in tone or expression.

Necessary? For what? Was their fated battle to the death so important to Itachi that he would drag Sasuke from the grave for it? He should have done them both a favor and fallen on his own sword. He should have let Sasuke die with his small bit of solace. Why, _why, **why!**_

"There's a great deal you don't know about," Itachi spoke in his usual grave tone, "Do you honestly still believe all that I've done was simply to test my strength?"

"Oh?" Sasuke scoffed, "Then what were you trying to do? Why did you put me through this?"

"I forced you to aim higher so that you would not have the option to be weak. Now you've left your life behind with no one and nothing to return to. And while even I hadn't foreseen the aftermath of your dealing with Orochimaru, everything was done to prepare you."

"…For what?" Sasuke asked cautiously. His white-hot anger seemed to slip away from him through the cracks in the floor, rapidly replaced by bone-chilling apprehension.

"Your real opponent."

* * *

And it is here that it is not so much Sasuke's story as it is Itachi's.

When he was eleven, already a chuunin for half a year, he went on a special mission. He came back with Anbu status, though some might have argued the real Itachi was never seen again. He was not the same as the boy who left. There were whispers of his change, but no one truly spoke of it. Just as there was a special faction within the Anbu and a brutal method to earn a spot in it, but no one spoke of that either.

Itachi had been placed in a rather precarious position by his clan. They called him their "connection" to the Village. Young as he was, Itachi knew perfectly well they intended to use him as a spy against Konoha. The Clan knew they were stagnating. They wanted to return to their former glory, even if it meant overthrowing the government and establishing their own word as law. The fact that they made up the majority of the police force certainly couldn't deter them.

Itachi thought them all to be fools.

They were all so arrogant and self-assured. He highly doubted the clan, as they were now, would ever be successful at any sort of coup. So he went to their meetings and waited for the day the proud Uchiha Clan would collapse.

That all changed one evening on the banks of the Nagano River. Shisui approached him with his usual good-natured smile, his eyes alight as they often were when Shisui was impassioned about something. It seemed it was information that just couldn't wait for the night's meeting. Shisui explained that he was finally setting things in motion. He'd founded a group, of sorts, that sought true power. It was the final piece in raising the Uchiha Clan above all others: bijuu.

Itachi hadn't held back his look of surprise. His mind flickered over the image of a little boy with an uncanny resemblance to the Fourth. Apparently Shisui and his "organization" wanted to gain control over the nine fabled beasts, for who could oppose any shinobi with that kind of power. It seemed far too ambitious of a plan for the Shisui he knew. And furthermore, Itachi couldn't figure out where he fit into any of this.

"Isn't it obvious?" Shisui answered with that easy smile of his, "You're our connection to Konoha. The Hokage holds nothing but trust in you. Who else would be better suited to remove him?"

Itachi could feel his ears ringing. They were serious. The Clan was serious about taking over Konoha and they wanted him as the prime assassin.

"You would ask this of me?" Itachi rarely let his anxiety show, but his words came out in a trembling whisper, "As my friend, you would ask me to commit such treason?"

There was a world beyond the Clan. And it was a world they were supposed to protect.

"You should be honored," all of Shisui's warmth drained away, "I've helped bring you this far. No one does anything for another person without a reason."

Shisui continued to lay out their plan. Without the Third in office, the Kyuubi host would lose its supporter. It would leave room for the Clan to put a leader of their choice in place. With the Kyuubi under their control, they would have Konoha at their mercy. And with Shisui's group collecting the others, the whole world would learn the true might of the Uchiha once more.

Itachi had stopped listening. Hearing Shisui speak so coldly, and knowing his friendship was all a ruse to gain Itachi's loyalty, made him feel as if he were watching the person he once knew die right before his eyes. No matter how great of a shinobi Itachi was, he was still a young boy. Even knowing his own clan, his own _parents_, had set him up for this wasn't so painful. Shisui's betrayal cut more deeply than he could have ever fathomed.

The Shisui he had loved so dearly wasn't here anymore.

Itachi's eyes shifted.

* * *

Shisui's body was found in the river the next day. It was very convenient that Sasori's sleeper agent in that village was a young boy with a talent for manipulating corpses.

* * *

That very afternoon, Itachi tried to explain things to his young brother without dragging him in too deeply. They would learn to survive together, even if Sasuke had to hate him. Dark times were ahead and Itachi didn't like thinking about the actions he might have to take.

The police came with their accusations. Itachi felt his anger swell, knowing this was all just one elaborate act. They wanted him to look unstable, the sort of person who might snap and kill the Hokage. But he wasn't unbalanced. He was justifiably angry with this stupid clan and its self-serving ambitions. His brother had managed to rein in his rage.

But it didn't stop his eyes from aching.

Tense days followed and Itachi waited for the Clan to make a move. And they did. It seemed Sasuke was beginning to show some of his true potential. Fugaku praised the boy and told their mother in private that he was glad they had a spare available. Mikoto told Sasuke sweet half-truths of how much his father spoke of him.

It was this morning Itachi ignored his recent headaches, told Sasuke promises he wouldn't keep, and went to speak with the Hokage in secret. He laid out the Clan's traitorous plot, contemplating how foolish they really were. Didn't they realize the consequences of their actions? Didn't _Shisui_ realize? Sandaime listened solemnly to Itachi's words, and to his proposal. His Anbu mentality was showing its true colors in the heavy-handed plan to keep Konoha safe.

It was with a terribly heavy heart that Sandaime approved the mission and all that would follow.

"You're going to be alone out there," Sandaime spoke gravely, "You may find others like you planted throughout the other villages, but you will only have your own conviction to guide you through this safely."

No records were kept. Sandaime never spoke the truth to anyone and it went to his grave.

Under a bright full moon, Itachi descended upon the Clan. No one ever came to investigate until Itachi was well beyond Konoha's gates. Sandaime was surprised to learn Itachi's young brother had survived the bloodshed. But as he thought more on why Sasuke was spared, the reason became painfully obvious. Sasuke was a backup plan.

* * *

Itachi left home at age thirteen to infiltrate the Akatsuki and kill Shisui. He could be cold enough to kill the parents he resented so deeply. Even after being betrayed so deeply, it was still a terrible thing to know Itachi had to kill his best friend. In the end, Itachi was nothing more than a young boy. He was nothing more than human.

Upon first hearing the news, Shisui had been furious. Itachi had expected as much and had a story well-prepared.

"Danzou couldn't be trusted," Itachi explained, "Once the Clan put him in office, he would have had the Root wipe us all out to secure his power and gain the trust of the Village. Not even my membership with them could have prevented that."

Shisui seemed dubious, but it wasn't a very far-fetched idea. Danzou was that kind of man.

"Besides, we've been thinking too small," Itachi continued, "If what you've planned is true, there is no reason for us to think solely of gaining control of Konoha for ourselves. We can't expect to give the power of the bijuu to the others and expect them to cooperate once they take over their own counties. We'll only succeed if all of us, as a united force, seek to take over everything as one."

A terrifying smile grew on Shisui's face, his eyes alight as Itachi always remembered.

"You've really lived up to your reputation," Shisui's familiar voice spoke, "You truly are a genius."

Itachi felt relief for a moment. He'd convinced Shisui and established his position in the organization. And such grand plans took time. Hopefully enough time for Konoha to be prepared. Hopefully enough time for Sasuke to be prepared.

With Shisui smiling at him again, Itachi wondered if he would ever be ready to take his friend's life.

He'd yet to find that moment.

* * *

When Itachi finished his tale, Sasuke sat in muted shock.

"You…" he struggled to get the words out, "You expect me to believe that?"

"I can't make you accept the truth," Itachi spoke in oddly subdued tones, "But this is how things really are."

"Then if you didn't get the Mangekyou from killing Shisui, why did you tell me to kill my best friend for it!"

Sasuke thought of how close he'd been to killing Naruto that day. What if he had succeeded, only to find it was all for nothing?

"You read the scroll, didn't you? At the Nagano shrine, it spoke of how the Mangekyou is obtained when a person experiences the greatest suffering when they lose the one they cared for the most," Itachi replied grimly, "I needed for you to gain the Mangekyou. And more importantly, I didn't want you to have the same weakness as me."

The color drained from Sasuke's face. If this was the truth, if Itachi had be preparing Sasuke to actually kill Shisui…

"…Why didn't you just tell me from the start?" he whispered, "That night, if you had told me the truth, I would have followed you."

"You know now that I couldn't. Everything had to seem as if I truly became a criminal and I could leave no room for suspicion. You truly seeking revenge served to keep up appearances."

"But didn't keeping me alive at all look suspicious?"

"…Yes."

Sasuke understood now that he was originally supposed to die that night with the rest of his Clan. Even if his brother only saw him as a contingency plan, it meant Itachi had enough faith in Sasuke to succeed even if Itachi didn't. Didn't it?

"So why tell me now?" Sasuke continued, "With the way I am now, I might never get the chance to do anything."

"I didn't want you to die without knowing."

Sasuke slowly lied back down, feeling horrifically exhausted. So that was it then. He really was dying. The medic placed a damp cloth against his forehead and as he slipped into sleep, he wondered if he would ever wake again.

* * *

_It didn't seem fair to him. It hadn't been said, but they both seemed to sense their journey was drawing to a close._

"_Why did it have to be us?" he asked in the dark room, "Why did we have to be the ones to throw our lives away?"_

"_Because we were strong enough to do it," came the reply, "We endure this and will die for this so that there will still be a world left. So that people can carry on in our place and enjoy all the good that's there."_

To be continued…


	13. Ch 13: Sasuke's Story III

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 13: Sasuke's Story III: A Lesson in Choice

Sasuke woke, unsure of the hour or even the day. The woman was nearby, tending to a pot over an open fire. Of course, he was quick to realize Itachi wasn't there. Ever the skeptic, he wondered if perhaps he had dreamed their reunion. Perhaps he secretly wished something good came out all these dreadful years. But he knew better than to put much hope in anything.

"Where is he?"

The woman's hand paused from stirring, evidently not expecting any conversation. In a place this desolate, he really couldn't blame her. Though she was quick to recover like any well-trained ninja and continued with her work.

"Keeping appearances," her words were crisper than usual, almost forced in their calmness. Sasuke knew perfectly well what she meant, though. Itachi was meeting with the Akatsuki. It left a sour feeling in his stomach, knowing that every meeting might be Itachi's last. Would today be the day he found the strength to turn on Shisui…? These thoughts were going to drive him insane. It was disconcerting to have gone from hating so much to worrying himself sick over the same person. All roads always seemed to lead him back to Itachi, and never in moderation.

He needed to distract himself from these conflicting thoughts, and he had a prime outlet. He could learn of how the woman ended up in this mess. There certainly didn't seem to be any logical reason for her involvement. She, in kind, spoke of her own brother. There was nothing she wouldn't risk to keep him safe. Sasuke could admire her fortitude, if nothing else. Though he still couldn't find a connection between her own familial issues and the affairs of the Akatsuki.

"Surely you've heard of the legendary bijuu before?" she retorted coolly.

He had, of course, even before Itachi described the Akatsuki's plans. Mythical creatures said to have terrifying destructive powers. He recalled people speaking in hushed whispers of the Kyuubi when they thought he couldn't hear them.

"Then perhaps you have also heard of the jinchuuriki…humans that become the vessels to contain these monsters."

He instinctively recalled Gaara, and how his grotesque transformation made a hell of a lot more sense now. But then another memory resurfaced. It was one that had been pushed aside when he recalled his humiliating reunion with Itachi in that hotel corridor. Words that were spoken by an older man he would learn later to be the legendary Jiraiya.

_So you're after Naruto, after all…_

Sasuke's blood came to a frozen halt in his veins. He subconsciously pulled his blanket tighter around himself. And now everything _really_ made absolutely perfect fucking sense. He'd been so lost in his own bleak little world after his family died, that he never once stopped to think just how much Naruto had probably endured. He never had his family robbed from him, but he never had a goddamn thing at all. They shoved a demon in him, then had the audacity to treat him as the pariah of the village. Just how deep did Konoha's hypocrisy run?

And just as quickly, an odd thought breezed through his mind. If he had succeeded in killing Naruto that day, would that have put an end to the Akatsuki's plan? Would he still have learned the truth from his brother then? Would that one death, possibly for the good of the world, be something he could have lived with?

Though now his mind returns to that dark pit again, waiting silently for his death. In his darkest hour, he found solace in his memories of home. Of Naruto. Sasuke had no qualms in admitting he was a selfish creature. He wanted more than he had any right to ask for. But the only thing he wished for now was for things to remain this way. Let him be the one to die. Let Death keep its hand from extending to Naruto, to the land he once called home.

It seemed this woman had reached the same conclusion. She chose this life of solitude in a shabby little house just to protect her own brother. It was painfully obvious that this brother of hers had to be one of the other jinchuuriki.

But these questions only raised more questions.

"How did you know you could trust my brother?"

She gazed into the fire with a look in her eyes Sasuke dared to call fondness.

"It's my weakness," she admitted, her head dipping in an almost shy gesture, "I have a soft spot for Uchihas."

Sasuke almost didn't believe her for a moment. She knew his Clan? Yet remained loyal, despite knowing of their wicked ways?

"So you're also from Konoha?"

"Hmm…that was a long time ago," she sat back on her haunches, "As far as anyone from there knows, I've been dead for years."

"You faked your death? Just to protect your brother?"

"No one expects someone who isn't even alive to be a spy. It's easier to remain anonymous this way…Though I'm not the first person from Konoha to do this," she explained, "We're the best information network Konoha has because we don't exist. And probably the only good secret they have: The Ghost Squad."

Logistically, it was a brilliant idea despite the risks involved. Though he wondered how many people were left behind mourning those who had chosen to walk away. He'd also walked away for "grander things." Was he considered dead to the ones he used to know? Did they lay flowers at an empty grave, or did they spit on it?

These weren't the questions he wished to ask aloud. And she certainly wasn't obliged to share her thoughts on the matter, either. It couldn't have been _that_ simple of a decision for her to make. So he remained on relatively safer ground.

"Is it common? For a village to have two jinchuuriki…"

He couldn't recall anyone that was remotely similar to Naruto in Konoha. Then again, there was probably no one quite like Naruto in the whole damn world. That fucking loudmouthed idiot…he really was one of a kind.

"Honestly, the village never knew. He's not an actual blood relative to me," she explained, hints of sadness creeping in, "My father found him as a young boy, the sole survivor on a battlefield, and adopted him. Try as he might, he had been used and manipulated by so many people that he just couldn't trust us completely. He even joined forces with 'The Devil' just to have a chance at surviving. Though he slowly learned to accept my help…"

"Yakushi," Sasuke blurted out, "You're from the Yakushi medical clan that adopted Kabuto."

These constant epiphanies were threatening to overwhelm him. It was all so fucking clear now. Of course she would have data from Kabuto. She was his sister! She was probably the informant that kept such close tabs on Orochimaru and passed news along to Jiraiya.

"It's not really his fault, you know. Kabuto's," she cautiously spoke, "Those who are made into jinchuuriki are such pitiful creatures…Even though I still serve Konoha, it would be heartless not to take a stand and protect those unfortunate few."

Sasuke couldn't believe he was actually feeling _sympathetic_ towards Kabuto's lot in life. All that time, all that fucking time Sasuke spent suffering in Sound, Kabuto kept his mouth shut to keep his own neck safe. He knew it would take time for the Akatsuki to plan an assault against Orochimaru and took advantage of whatever amnesty he could gain. Kabuto had even been brave enough to oh-so-subtly interfere with Orochimaru's own goals. He managed to survive the strike against the Sound, but where would he run to now? Was his time in the snake's lair simply postponing the inevitable?

How much time did Naruto have left?

She said nothing further in her defense as she poured the soup she had been preparing. She gently helped him into a sitting position, and seeing such a worn down and weary boy served only to remind her further of her brother. Yet another generation lost for no good reason.

"We'll know of the Akatsuki's progress once I hear back from Itachi-kun," she distracted her dreary mind with idle talk as she raised a spoonful of broth to his lips, "It will let me know how I should proceed in explaining the circumstances behind the Sound's fall."

Sasuke was left in awe as he learned more of how deeply noble she was. Hers was a life spent in constant waiting. Living everyday in a world of dreadful anticipation, solitude, and likely a painful death in the end. In truth, that wasn't very different from his brother's life, was it…

The door to the little shack swung open, letting in a sharp blast of freezing air and snow flurries. Itachi stood in the doorway with his tell-tale cloak notably absent. A dark bandana covered his head and sunglasses concealed his eyes. An uneasy silence settled in as Sasuke and the woman stared at him, awaiting his news. As Itachi's silence extended, the others grew anxious to receive what had to be undoubtedly bad news.

"They suspect me."

The woman seemed to collapse in upon herself while Sasuke remained stone still watching his brother. Of course. Of course things could only get worse. Sasuke's body not being found in the Sound camp and Kabuto's escape would not have been well-received. And they only served to cast an incriminating light upon Itachi.

Now the Akatsuki were forcing Itachi's hand and leaving no choice but to act. Swiftly.

"How shall we proceed?" the Yakushi woman asked. She was too good of a shinobi to fall prey to her emotions. They could only move forward.

"Contact no one. Not even your brother," Itachi answered firmly, "They have eyes and ears everywhere. It's far too great of a risk to do anything now but remain silent."

"But he's alone out there!" she fired back, "How can I warn him if I can't even speak to him? And what of Konoha? They need to be informed…!"

"Kabuto is smart enough to keep a low profile. I wouldn't worry about his situation. And Jiraiya has plenty of other sources at his disposal. It won't be long before word gets out about the Sound's demise, anyway. With or without your say on the matter," Itachi paused to give Sasuke a pointed look before continuing, "Furthermore, it will no longer be feasible for me to return here again."

"Do you think that's wise?" Yakushi seemed to grow resigned to the situation, "You can't expect to fair well against them if you're completely cut off from the world."

"I have no other choice. I put myself in this situation and now I'll have to lie in the bed I've made."

"So that's it? You'll just go crawling back to the Akatsuki to prove your 'loyalty'?" Sasuke snarled, "What good is your staying there now if you can't even let anyone know what's happening? I rather doubt you'll make your move against Shisui _now_."

"It's hardly like that," Itachi spoke with a seemingly heavy heart, "It's only a matter of time before they decide to hunt me down, as they had Orochimaru. It should delay their hunt for the bijuu for a little while. I'll just have to hold out as long as I can to buy the other villages more time."

"'Hold out'?" Sasuke echoed, dread seeping in. Itachi offered a wry expression in return.

"Even I'm not powerful enough to fend off a full Akatsuki offensive."

"I'm going with you," Sasuke announced, struggling to rise. Yakushi moved to settle him back down, but was shrugged off.

"You are dying, Sasuke," Itachi stated flatly, "Bringing you along would only slow me down. This is a fight I should have ended a long time ago and now I must face the consequences of my mistakes."

"And you'll just leave me here to rot?"

"I'll leave you here so that you might spend your last days with some measure of comfort. It's all I can do for you now. At least you can pass on knowing the truth of everything."

"Don't do this to me," Sasuke's whisper came out as a harsh rasp, "If I have to die, let me die out there. I know there's not much I can do anymore, but don't leave me here to just fade away like this. Let me have this one last fight…standing side by side with you."

Yakushi stood off to the side as the brothers made preparations to depart. Sasuke clung to his brother's back, lacking the strength to walk on his own. Itachi gave a curt nod to Yakushi, though she could not bring herself to meet his gaze. She reached out to touch his arm as he passed but thought better of it. Her hand dropped limply to her side as she wished them luck, though the words felt hollow to her.

"I hope you'll pardon all the troubles we've caused you," Itachi's voice gave away nothing, "Please take care to look after yourself."

She stood at the threshold watching the pair descend the snowy slope until they were no more than a pinpoint. In her hand was a sake cup that she raised in a toast, though she could think of nothing worth honoring. After a sigh slipped past her lips, an obvious choice came to mind.

_To family._

* * *

And so the two brothers set out on their long and ultimately tragic journey.

It led them through grueling terrain and remote villages, always looking over their shoulder. Ever anxious and weary walking under the Akatsuki's long shadow. In these desolate and lonely places where no one paid much notice to the comings and goings of everyday travelers, Sasuke learns of secrets Itachi hadn't planned on sharing.

It began with Itachi's request for Sasuke to keep a lookout for paths to follow and signs for local inns. It allowed Itachi to focus all his attention on finding hidden traps and attackers that might be lying in wait. Sasuke was just grateful he had one good eye to spot anything. Then it became Sasuke's duty to handle the money and sign for things when it was required. Itachi explained the Akatsuki might recognize any handwriting Itachi might have copied with his Sharingan. They wouldn't know what Sasuke may or may not have picked up. It all seemed logical enough.

But Sasuke was no fool. He knew why his brother kept his Sharingan on all the time, always hidden behind the sunglasses. Itachi was blind. He needed his bloodline ability just to have any remote form of vision.

"How did you loose your sight?" he dared to ask. The sting of Itachi's "betrayal" had yet to fade completely, still leaving Sasuke inexplicably wary. It made speaking to his brother a somewhat unnerving experience at times.

"No power comes without a price."

Sasuke understood that it had to have been a result of the Mangekyou, and felt heavier for knowing it. If he'd followed through with his quest for revenge, he would have forever been lost in a world of unending true darkness. It seemed apparent to Sasuke now that no matter what path he chose in life, it would have a bleak outcome.

Except, perhaps, if he had chosen to remain in Konoha. Ignorant of his brother's struggles. Even the so-called "safe" choice would have been selfish of him. Wasn't there any justice left in this world?

* * *

As the weeks turned into months and countless miles, Sasuke would sometimes forget that they were in constant danger. As he stubbornly clung to what bit of power he had left, he began to travel on foot of his own volition. It gave him hope that he wasn't completely lost. There were still things he could accomplish. It almost gave him the illusion to consider these days peaceful.

All this time on the road made all the places look the same. In tiny rooms with rain tapping at the glass and fog hiding away the outside world, life took on some peculiar sense of normalcy. But then night would come and that was when things were always the hardest. Sasuke could not forget the dark of Orochimaru's lair so quickly and he often lay awake with paranoid tension.

They never spoke of it. But on nights like these, Itachi keep silent company. Often he would check and re-strengthen Sasuke's seal and change the bandages. It was slowing the curse's progression, but new tears in his skin would appear. Itachi's efforts prolonged Sasuke's life, but it wouldn't save him. But he did what he could. These quiet gestures were the balm that sustained Sasuke's soul.

"How many have been captured?" Sasuke broke the silence one night, forcing himself to remain grounded in their grim reality.

"Two that I know of," Itachi replied, serious as ever, "Though it seemed they were closing in on a female jinchuuriki from the Cloud. And I doubt it will be long before they make a strike against the Sand."

Once again Sasuke is reminded of Gaara.

Gaara, who had been so full of anger towards the world for hating what he was. No, for being _made_ him what he was. It was all just so unbelievably unfair. How the hell did Naruto not turn out the same way?

_Because he had people he believed in. And had people he thought believed in him._

Sasuke knew he couldn't undo what he did. But he hoped taking on this ridiculous mission to the death had to atone for some of it.

* * *

It was only natural that just as Sasuke accepted these bittersweet truths with a calm heart, he would pass out on the side of the road.

It was this that prompted Itachi to decide he would ensure Sasuke made it back home.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Sasuke snapped back, "I'm a missing-nin! They'll have me executed as soon as I reach the gates."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Itachi said with shrewd regard, "During times like this, Konoha will not be so willing to part with our bloodline as you'd like to believe."

"What could I even tell them if I return?"

"Tell them nothing. Not only would any leaked information possibly jeopardize the lives of field agents such as Yakushi-san, it will cause the Akatsuki to take aggressive action. Anyone they suspect of gaining inside knowledge will be made a target. These are secrets we must be prepared to die for if we intend on keeping anyone safe."

"What was the point of learning anything about their activities if no one can use that info?"

"Things have changed. When it comes down to it, a shinobi must ensure he or she completes the mission assigned. We do not have the luxury of relying on others when even knowing of a threat could cost lives," Itachi seemed almost weary at the thought, "It was my weakness that let things get out of hand. It's on my shoulders to keep Konoha and its people away from this for as long as I can."

Sasuke was reluctant to return home. Not to mention afraid, though he would never admit to it. But he knew his brother would not be swayed. It grew more and more obvious each day, despite Sasuke's determination, that his health was failing. Itachi had done all that he could. But without Kabuto's completed data on the curse seal, it was only a matter of time before the curse ran its course.

Thus, they began their trek to Fire Country.

Ever present was Sasuke's fear for what would become of Itachi once they parted ways. He'd always known facing down the Akatsuki under these circumstances was sure to be a suicide mission, but why did Itachi feel so compelled to go it alone? He'd been preparing Sasuke all these years for this fight. He was already dying, so what would it matter if he died a quick death on the battlefield? It wasn't any worse than spending his last days on his deathbed.

"What do you think you're going to accomplish? You're the one who said you weren't strong enough to fight them all."

"Of course I'm not," Itachi answered blandly, "But I'm not completely powerless. If I can kill even one or two of them, I'd call it definitive progress in this war. All that matters anymore is time. So long as I can give the villages that, it will be enough."

"And what of Shisui?" Sasuke countered, "Will there be anyone left to defeat a true Sharingan master if we're gone?"

"Hn…Stranger things have happened."

* * *

Fate, as always, was a cruel mistress.

They were in the heart of Fire Country, a scant thirty miles from Konoha. For a ninja, such a distance was negligible. And it was here the vultures circled.

They'd been prepared to face two, even four of the Akatsuki. To find all eight waiting for them was unfathomable. The brothers understood everything now. There was no year of quiet. It had been a set-up right from the start.

The group stood before them as something made of nightmares. Drawn blades and gleaming fangs and true confidence. As Sasuke stared Death in the face, he wondered if there would ever be enough time to plan for war against these monsters.

One of the members stepped to the forefront. He was of average build with dark hair falling in angles around his face.

"Well, Itachi-kun, how kind of you to join us."

Sasuke felt chills race up his spine. The man's eyes were a deep blood red and for a moment Sasuke wondered if he was a relation of Kurenai's. But that wasn't right. He knew this feeling well. Though the man did not have the three tomoe visible, those eyes had the undeniable power of the Sharingan. It was not that there were no tomoe, but the film of complete and absolute blindness masked the marks. Here was a man who abused the fearsome power of the Mangekyou to its absolute limit: Uchiha Shisui.

Itachi stood with a rigid tenseness Sasuke was unaccustomed to. He wouldn't call it fear; Sasuke was probably terrified enough for both of them. But Itachi stared across the gap towards Shisui, staring down his best friend and executioner. Sasuke knew. He knew what would happen once this fight broke out.

_He can't do it. He can't kill Shisui._

"Have you forgotten?" Sasuke stepped out from behind Itachi's defensive stance, "There are two of us here."

"Oh?" Shisui sneered, "Quite the remarkable family reunion we have here."

"You little fool," Itachi growled, "Stand back."

"There's no point anymore. I'm not going to just lie down like a dog to the likes of them."

Itachi had spoken of dying for ideals. For secrets. For their homeland and its people. But for Sasuke, he had lived a great deal of his life for darker things. It took claim over his heart like an old, forgotten friend.

_I've lived all this time seeking revenge. I can just as easily die for it._

The eight grinned with well-earned smugness. The boy would die quickly enough, but at least he wasn't making things dull. Sasuke smirked in return, feeling the twin scars on his back twinge, as he reached for his eye patch.

Yes…He could be just as much a monster as they were.

His amber eye locked in on one of the members, a man wielding a three-bladed scythe, as he prepared to strike. In spite of the pain of the curse pushing the limits of the binding seal, the sudden burst of power and adrenalin made Sasuke forget everything. His vision held a red tinge as he readied himself to attack.

But suddenly black fire exploded in front of him. He could no longer see the Akatsuki beyond the wall of flames. He turned wildly to find Itachi was no longer by his side. The clang of metal followed by shouts dominated the air. Sasuke's fingernails bit sharply into his palms when he realized what happened. Itachi had effectively cut him out of the battle.

Even after all this time. After all they'd come to know of one another, Itachi still didn't believe in him.

He stood by the barrier of flames, letting the curse rapidly race through him as he listened to his brother fight what would certainly be his last battle. Sasuke had never felt so powerless in all his life.

Then the silence set in. Sasuke braced himself for the impending attack, trying desperately to remind himself that there were other people in the world that needed defending from the Akatsuki. He made himself picture Naruto, who was nothing more than a victim of circumstance. He thought of Sakura, who would go and get herself pointlessly killed for the sake of friendship.

Or so he tried. All he could think of was his brother who was dead on the other side of the fire. His brother, whose greatest weakness was being too human to stop caring about his dear friend.

The flames began to flicker and fade, giving Sasuke enough of a gap to cross to the other side. The Akatsuki were long gone, leaving a lone figure hunched over bloody grass.

"Brother!" Sasuke rushed to Itachi's side. Itachi raised his head at the sound and Sasuke came up short upon seeing his blind brother no longer had eyes at all.

"Kakuzu," Itachi rasped, "He would have taken the Sharingan to make a profit on the black market…"

"Why did they let you live?" Sasuke crouched down, willing himself not to be weak. Willing himself not to cry.

"They didn't," a harsh, wet cough followed by a mouthful of blood spat, "There's a team of unknown shinobi approaching."

Sasuke muttered a string of curses under his breath. He reached out to help his brother to his feet, when a strong stab of pain caught him by surprise. He grasped at his neck, at the source of the curse. He could feel the skin of his arm tearing away from itself.

"I—I can't…" Sasuke sank to the ground, utterly defeated.

"It's over, Sasuke," Itachi's voice grew faint, "There's nothing we can do. Except..."

"'Except'?"

"Fetch me my sword."

Sasuke's head snapped up, despite the agony it caused. He knew what his brother was planning. It shouldn't have mattered at this point, but it did to Sasuke.

"I failed. I'm willing to accept that," Itachi murmured, "It's probably the only real choice I'll have in this life."

Sasuke crawled to where the weapon lay. It felt far heavier in his hand than it rightly should have. He passed it on to his brother, who placed his hand over Sasuke's as he accepted it.

Even at the end of things, there is always choice.

* * *

_"Were the two of you close?" he asked once, during one of his more candid moments, "She seemed upset to see you go."_

_"She is an ally, nothing more," his voice was cool as ever, "Though I remind her a little of someone she used to know. It's my understanding she hadn't been able to save him on a mission long ago."_

_"That's too bad for her," came the dry reply, "But it doesn't answer what you felt for her."_

_"My life has never allowed for any such thing, which is all for the best. I know she is bothered to this day by leaving the person she loved behind for the sake of the mission. A shinobi gains nothing from being attached to others. It is better I remain alone, as you now are."_

_It was a painfully honest reminder. He gained back only one good thing, but there was nothing else left. They both left home at the same age to lead dark, empty lives. Even if it was to keep the land and its people safe, even if he sometimes dared to think he was content to have what little he did, it was a stark way to live._

_He wondered if the man across from him had broken some girl's heart when he left, as he had. _

_Most of the time, he found himself fearing for his friend's safety from the impending attack. But at this moment, he suddenly wished to see _her_ again. But then he recalled his days in the dark, and the taint he had put on his memory of her just to get through those vile moments of a monster's hands on his skin. It was times like these that he hated himself the most._

To be continued…


	14. Ch 14: Restoration of Faith

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 14: Restoration of Faith

_Present Day_

The moon sat heavy and looming in its dead hour. Naruto had been lying in bed watching it drag itself across the sky, feeling no calmer from its cold light. He kept waiting for sleep to stake its claim so he wouldn't have to think anymore. So he wouldn't have to remember that not so far away, Sasuke lay under the same moon. Sasuke, who now seemed bound to that bed awaiting his death sentence.

Gaara's words from earlier were entangled in Naruto's mind. Could Naruto, who always opened his heart to even the seemingly cruelest of beings, be cold enough to never reconcile with Sasuke? Even though it would leave Sasuke to probably die completely and utterly alone.

In the end, who would really suffer from the silence?

Naruto heaved out a heavy sigh before hauling himself out of bed. As his door clicked shut, the light of the moon glinted off the glass of a picture frame that sat righted on the side table.

* * *

Sakura was considered one of the elite when it came to being a kunoichi. Being a ninja as a woman allotted for the use of certain abilities that did not always require brute strength. Their art was subtle deception. Such a master was Sakura, she could even cleverly fool herself.

She had a series of medical texts lined up and methodically organized upon her vanity. Her eyes darted between the words and the mirror as she set her hair in tight twist. Strands of her hair fell in soft sweeps around her face and against her neck. She compared symptoms while coloring her lips in faint pink, a complimentary and unassuming shade. She contemplated which herbs might make for a better medicinal mix while dabbing perfume against her wrists. An orange and ginger scent; it reminded her of autumn.

She had a house call to make and her pride would not allow her to show up appearing unprepared or unprofessional. She had a wealth of knowledge imprinted in her mind, she presented herself as an image of comfort.

Her snug clothes were concealed beneath her white hospital coat. The lamplight cast an alluring glow against her skin, but she only saw her face staring back in the mirror. This was her job. She needed to gain as much experience as possible in order to be better prepared for the field.

This wasn't about love, she told herself.

It wasn't about love.

* * *

The moon was their witness, though they were no longer romantic children. They didn't see the roads as paved with silver. The world was washed in gray and it made their hearts heavy as stone. When their paths converged, they stood still as ashen statues and pondered the other's why.

"I've pardoned people for worse crimes…If I ever want to fulfill my dream of leading this village, I gotta make these kinds of choices."

"I just thought I could bring in a fresh perspective. Maybe I could find something the Hokage and the others might have missed in their research."

Naruto and Sakura were fine shinobi, indeed.

* * *

Sakura knocked tentatively on the door while Naruto stood by with his hands shoved in his pockets. A slight shiver had taken claim of his body, for he'd left in too much of a hurry to grab his jacket. What a sight the pair must have made. Naruto in his rumpled black shirt and garish orange pants, with Sakura caught somewhere between doctor and evening apparel.

There was a long drag of silence before the locks clicked and the door was drawn open. Anko stood in her housecoat, though she showed no sign of having been roused from sleep. Nor did she look particularly surprised to see her visitors.

"We apologize for the late hour," Sakura offered a formal greeting.

"Yeah, it's no biggie," Anko waved her off, "Though I'm sorry to say you're a bit too late."

"Nah, it's our fault. We'll come back in the morning," Naruto rushed out his words, feeling a humiliated blush creep across his face.

"That's not what I meant," Anko's expression grew wry, "There's just no point in you coming around anymore. He's gone."

"'Gone'?" Naruto echoed, "You mean he's—That Sasuke's—He die--!"

"No, no. Not yet anyway," Anko was quick to clarify, "He left."

"And you just let him?" Sakura's temper was quick to flare.

"I'm no prison ward. If he needed to be somewhere else when he, well, you know…I think he's got the right to do that," Anko leaned against the doorjamb, feeling her body grow weary, "But if it's any help, I can guarantee he wouldn't have gotten out of the village."

They were going to question her further when the metaphorical light seemed to click. If there was a place in this town Sasuke would have fled to, there was only one answer. Anko didn't take offense to their abrupt departure. They didn't exactly have time to spare. She didn't even contemplate why there were no Anbu stationed to watch her house (or Sasuke's movements).

_You already foresaw this, didn't you, Hokage-sama?_

* * *

The Uchiha Clan, despite their dark secrets and their trail of death, were still of old and noble blood. They were a people steeped in tradition and formalities, and even Sasuke found himself relying upon these old ways. He knelt in proper seiza style; the light of the moon slipping through the boarded windows and casting the room in a washed out blue glow. Three objects were placed before him: a drying ink brush, a scroll, and his father's wakizashi. The white yukata he wore had been his mother's, as it was the only one that he fit. 

He'd kept his words short, all while finding it ironic that he would go this far to protect the truth.

_The knowledge is mine alone. May the Devil dare to fight me for it in Hell._

He drew the blade carefully from its sheath with one hand. His left arm was cradled within the folds of his robe like a cold stone. As he held the weapon, all he could think was how this house had been drenched in far too much of his family's blood. Even knowing of his parents' true nature, he stubbornly found it impossible to hate them completely. In the end, he just thought of his wayward clan as one of the greatest wastes that never should have turned out so. Things could have been so much better.

So much better…

He steadied his hand and readied himself for the blow when a large clattering echoed from the hall. Stomping feet and gasping breath grew closer. There was no time for hesitance. The Akatsuki were already upon him.

As the point of the blade made to pierce his skin, the door burst open and the full force of the moon followed. The sheer surprise of the sight before Sasuke allowed him to stay his hand. There were no monsters in waiting to learn what he knew.

"Sasuke!"

The two people he'd cast away time and time again to protect them from suffering as he had were here now. The three stared at one another as if cruel words had never been exchanged in each other's presence. The disbelief Sasuke felt overwhelmed his senses and his weapon slipped from his fingers to the floor with a clang.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Both Sakura and Naruto dashed forward, let their knees give way, let their arms wrap around their long-absent teammate. Sasuke found himself unable to move, unable to even blink or breathe, while the other two openly wept.

"Why…" Sasuke's voice was faint and dull as he stared dead ahead, "I said—I told you not to come around anymore."

"Since when do I listen to you?" Naruto words were muffled against Sasuke's shoulder, the bad one, "And you know I don't go back on _my_ words."

_I made a promise once, that I would bring you home. The promise of a lifetime._

"We're a three-man team. Team 7," Sakura's breath was warm against his skin, and she smelled like autumn, "Nothing will ever change that."

_I told you once that I would follow you anywhere. Nothing could ever truly change that, either._

Sasuke raised his hand tentatively, fingers twitching nervously, as he brought his arm around Sakura's back. She clung to him tighter still and the palm of his hand rested against the nape of her neck. Her face was hidden against his neck and her tears ran down his skin. Her unabashed acceptance of him only caused his guilt to surge. He recalled all too clearly what he'd done to her memories while at the mercy of the snake.

"You're only going to get hurt if you stay," he murmured, "Nothing good will come of this for either of you."

"Why do you always do this?" Naruto brought his gaze level with Sasuke's, "You don't have to go through everything alone."

"What I'm involved in doesn't concern you," his cold words lacked their typical bite, "This is something I _have_ to do alone."

Naruto gave a pointed glance towards the discarded sword, tears still visible on his face.

"I'm not gonna let you just up and die," he stated with growing determination, "We'll find a way to save you…Sakura-chan is a medic, after all!"

"And a genjutsu specialist," she threw in between her soft sobs, ever eager to impress.

"You really did do well for yourself," Sasuke couldn't recall when his fingers had wound themselves in her hair. God help him. "But there's far more at stake than me dying, things I can't talk to you about."

"You can tell us," Naruto was quick to say, "We'll help you, no matter what."

"People have been killed for knowing," Sasuke answered gravely. He felt Sakura stiffen beneath his touch, watched Naruto's eyes grow impossibly wide. "I've already said too much, as is. You've got to go before it's too late."

"No," soft as it was, there was steel behind Sakura's voice, "Even if it costs my life, I will not abandon you."

_I will not be left behind again._

"You know damn well I'm not leaving, either," Naruto declared, his fist maintaining a firm grip on Sasuke's collar, "If a fight's gonna break out, you'll need me here to protect your half-dead self, idiot."

_I want you to remember I am your equal._

"I can't go through it again," Sasuke burrowed against Sakura's shoulder to hide from Naruto's intense stare, "I can't watch anyone else die for this. Or for me."

"I just won't die, then," Naruto was full blown confidence now, "You can't expect me to leave a friend during a time like this!"

"I already told you we're not friends."

Naruto sat back on his haunches, his hold on Sasuke growing slack. There was such a serious and definitive quality behind his words that made Naruto think this wasn't just a tactic to make him leave. This was something Sasuke truly felt. They shared the bond of teammates, but it went no further?

"Naruto, to me you are a brother," Sasuke's good eye peered over Sakura's shoulder and held Naruto's complete attention, "I've already lost one. I cannot bear to go through that again."

"Brother?" Naruto could feel a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall, "Sasuke…You—All this time, you—"

He was too deeply shocked to put his thoughts into words. Sasuke had cared so goddamn much and yet he still made himself endure everything alone so no one else would hurt. He'd always seemed so cold growing up, yet he probably loved his team more deeply than anyone else. As Naruto clung loosely to this little circle of three, he studied how strongly Sasuke and Sakura held on to each other.

He's seen how much Sakura had been hurt by Sasuke's departure all those years ago. He watched her change and shut her heart off from the world. But now all he could think of was how much did it cost _Sasuke _to walk away from her?

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura seemed to grow timid now, her lips accidentally brushing against his neck now and again as she spoke, "Do you think I've become a good ninja?"

"What…?"

"Do you think I've become a good ninja?"

"It does seem that you've accomplished a lot," he answered vaguely, not entirely sure where her line of questioning was leading.

"I realize now I couldn't have done anything for you back then. But at least believe in me now. So long as the three of us are together, I swear you won't have to lose what's precious to you ever again."

Sasuke finally pulled back to look at her, really look at her. She was awash in silver from the moon, glowing almost in her white coat. Her face was tear-stained and her hair was tousled but her expression was fierce. Gone was the young girl who wanted his approval. Now she was a young woman who _knew_ she was capable of great things, and merely wanted him to concede to that point.

He had been right about one thing. It was impossible for him to look her in the eye. But even so…Even so…

Sasuke's fingers were grazing her nape. Sakura had her arm clutched at his back, her other arm around Naruto's waist. Naruto kept an arm around her shoulders and a hand against Sasuke's collarbone. They had traveled so far from each other, in body and in mind, but now the circle was whole. They were more than a team. To one another, they were the point of everything.

Sasuke never thought he would feel this again. But in their arms, he felt himself pulled out of that dark pit once more. He stopped caring at that moment for missions and secrets. Once more, all he wanted was that chance. The chance to be alive.

Time slipped away. They found themselves on the porch now, Sasuke dressed again sweatshirt and all. Sitting hand in hand in hand, Naruto didn't think it strange to be holding his brother's hand. And even though his left hand was so cold, Sakura clasped it and let her touch spread the warmth. The sun began to climb with a gentle pink glow, letting the heavy night drop away. Day was coming with hope on its heels.

"There's a woman," Sasuke's voice was a soft rasp against the shared quiet, "In the mountains of Water Country. She might be able to help."

The three stared ahead with resolve etched into their features. Each understood what Sasuke was telling them. It didn't need to be said.

_Our mission starts now._

And

_I believe in you._

* * *

"_I don't blame you, for not being able to do it."_

"_And why is that? You were correct in saying this situation is my fault."_

"_I couldn't do it," his voice was no more than a whisper, "Kill my best friend. I had the chance. But I couldn't do it, either."_

To be continued…


	15. Ch 15: The Art of Persuasion

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 15: The Art of Persuasion

Anko said nothing when the three snuck back in during the wee hours of the morning. If she had anything worth saying, that would have meant she was surprised by this outcome. She let them settle into Sasuke's room as she went about making breakfast; it had been a long time since she had to cook for four.

"So how are we gonna do this?" Naruto laid the big question out on the table.

Getting to Water Country, which was technically enemy territory, would be difficult in and of itself. Finding a credible excuse for heading there without Konoha learning of their true mission was the real challenge.

"For starters," Sasuke's voice was soft, weighed down with thought, "it'll look suspicious if you go from hating me to trying to save me. The village will know you're up to something. You can't let on that you've had a change of heart."

"So we've gotta make everyone think we haven't forgiven you, huh?" Naruto sighed, leaning back against the wall.

"Basically," he replied flatly, "But that's not the hard part here. Traveling to Water Country to meet someone you've never met without being able to contact her beforehand is you real problem. Since I obviously can't leave Konoha…"

_And I probably wouldn't survive the journey there._

"I've got just as much luck getting outta here as you do," Naruto spoke bitterly, "They don't let me go anywhere without a ton of supervision 'cause they're all paranoid the Akatsuki's gonna pop up."

Sasuke kept his peace. There was only so much he was willing to give away about what he knew. And he knew Yakushi would say nothing on the subject, should they manage to find her. All they needed to know about her was that she was a medic. Nothing more.

"That leaves me, then," Sakura stated, "But I'm still going to need a credible excuse to explain my absence to the village."

"But it's way too dangerous to go there alone, Sakura-chan!"

"I'm not defenseless, you know," Sakura gave Naruto a cold sidelong glance.

"He's right. You shouldn't make this trip alone," Sasuke added, still keeping his eyes lowered from her, and missed the look of betrayal cross her face, "It will draw attention. So now we need to decide who we can trust to go with you."

Sakura visibly flinched, wondering how much more she could take. It seemed each moment she spent with Sasuke was an endless cycle of him ripping the bandage off her wounded heart, only to repair it a breath later. How did she ever bear this constant hurt and healing when she was younger?

"How about Gaara? I know he'd keep our secret," Naruto offered. Surely if Gaara had bothered to ensure Naruto reconciled with Sasuke, he'd help now.

Sasuke made no mention of how it was no better an idea to send Gaara than to send Naruto. The Akatsuki _were_, in fact, on the move. It was bad enough they were looking to silence him, sending a jinchuuriki out would be catastrophic.

"That won't work," Sasuke kept his poker face, "He may be an ally, but he's still a Sand shinobi. It'll raise too many questions if Sakura leaves on an 'inter-village' mission."

The three agreed on that. It required a lot of explaining to get that kind of mission approved, as they usually implied it was either a rather dangerous one or that time was a major factor. While both were true in this case, they couldn't afford to let the village know that.

"Don't bother asking Hinata, either," Sasuke continued, "She would do it, but everyone knows she's involved with my treatment. They'll know something's up."

Sakura suddenly perked up, as if she found a small bit of hope in their impossible situation.

"Neji-san. He would do it."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her certainty. He didn't know Neji particularly well, though he was aware he'd been involved in the "rescue mission" four years ago. He also knew Neji had sustained serious injuries from that doomed mission. Why would he want to help now?

"What makes you so sure?" Sasuke asked warily.

"I don't know about this, either," Naruto treaded carefully for fear of Sakura's temper, "Neji was pretty pissed at us the last time we saw him."

Naruto conveniently left out that they'd been harassing Hinata to tell them where Sasuke was. He didn't want Sasuke to know how cruel, how _desperate_, they'd been just to find him. Naruto didn't want to admit to himself how awful he'd been, and how many apologies he owed.

"I don't think he'd do it for us. Or for Sasuke-kun. But he knows it's what Hinata would want and that's all the reason he needs," Sakura explained, "On top of that, Neji-san is Anbu. It wouldn't seem out of the ordinary for him to specifically request me for a mission to Water Country. My ice genjutsu is a perfect way to confuse and distract an enemy in that climate."

So now they reached an agreement that Neji would be the right person to seek for the job. They paused from discussion when Anko shuffled in with breakfast. She laughed at how tense and silent the three became while she was in the room. "Fear not," she told them, "As far as anyone's concerned, I didn't hear anything, I didn't see anything, I don't know anything."

Well, there was another name to add to their circle of confidantes.

"Now here's our next dilemma," Sakura pressed on, "The Anbu always travel at least in pairs. We need to find a second person."

The trio traded glances with one another, trying to think of another Anbu member they could trust.

"Well…" Naruto was awkward, hesitant, "There is _one_ person I can think off…"

"What would it take to convince him, though?" Sakura was thinking of the same person, though was no more confident on the matter.

"Who did you have in mind?" Sasuke was slow to ask, somewhat uncomfortable that he wasn't on the same page as the rest of his team. How was he to know who was involved with the Anbu nowadays?

Naruto and Sakura exchanged nervous looks. The answer probably wasn't going to go over well.

* * *

All grand schemes begin with that first step. Sakura showed up at her squad's training ground, shoulders tense. Hinata was looking pointedly at the ground and likely watching Sakura's every move. Even behind his sunglasses, Sakura could feel Shino's intense glare. Word certainly made its rounds in this town. Kurenai seemed to be making a decisive effort not to mention the unspoken hostility among her team. This wasn't a problem to be solved with a lecture. This was bigger than all of them. Funny that it all stemmed from one (severely misguided) boy. 

Akamaru obliviously romped through a pile of leaves.

With the day's training session drawing to a close, Hinata attempted to make a hasty exit.

"I need to talk to you," Sakura announced, a stony expression set in place.

Shino stepped forward, but Hinata waved him off with a weak smile. It left the two girls standing face to face in the clearing.

"I doubt there's any information I could tell you about Sasuke-kun that you don't already know by now," the sharp words bit deeply into Hinata's tongue.

"No, probably not," Sakura crossed the distance. Hinata unconsciously adopted a defensive stance. Sakura took a tight hold of Hinata's arm, schooling her face into a fierce expression. She leaned in close, nearly cheek to cheek, and kept her voice low by Hinata's ear. "But I think I know how to help him."

Hinata kept her features blank. Despite the shock seizing her body. They were appearances to keep.

"What do you need?" she whispered in her meek tone.

"Can Neji-san find an excuse to travel to Water Country?"

Hinata stared forward, making herself seem nervous, and still watched Sakura. She felt a bizarre sense of curiosity and deep-seated dread.

"…What's waiting in Mist territory?"

"Answers."

"Who do you want him to partner with?"

Sakura sighed heavily. This trepidation was no longer part of the act.

"I think there's only one choice. Don't you?"

Hinata nodded faintly, now understanding the root of Sakura's unease.

"I'll ask Neji-nii-sama to persuade him."

Sakura didn't relent in her hold. Instead she looped her arm through Hinata's, pressing her hand firmly against her shoulder. It appeared threatening and charming all at once.

"You were wrong, the other day," were her terse words.

Hinata's shoulders sagged, getting the sense this wasn't part of the act. The Sakura of these recent days was rigid with her emotions and kept a chip on her shoulder. It was only natural she would be stringent in doling out her forgiveness.

"We are both Konoha shinobi," Sakura stated emphatically, "We fight and bleed for this village. You and me, we're bound by our oath to protect this land. You will always be my fellow teammate."

Hinata gave a small nod, somehow not feeling soothed by her words. It was hard to be cheered by the words of the notorious Ice Queen. Even though she was making as much of an apology as her pride would allow. Even though she showed enough of her buried heart to join in the effort to save Sasuke.

"Yes. Of course we are," Hinata smiled weakly. She feigned hostility to keep the discussion about Sasuke under the radar. It wasn't any harder to fake happiness.

"And I hope…" Sakura trailed off, dropped her gaze, "I hope someday, if you're ever able to forgive me, you'll think fondly enough to consider me a friend."

Hinata knew this feeling, knew it instinctively. It wasn't so long ago that she listened to Sasuke make his awkward attempts at apologizing. His endearing and guilt-ridden offer of condolences. She found that well again, filling up with confidence.

"Then we are already friends."

* * *

Shikamaru was living in a perpetual state of déjà vu. 

Here he was, hunched over his desk with his spectacles balancing precariously on the tip of his nose. The dim glow of his lamp was the only other light aside from the minimal service lights. Empty coffee cups and scattered files. He lost track of the hour, even the day. There was work to be done.

There were things to avoid.

And it was a damn hard thing to escape. It seemed to be the only topic anyone in this entire fucking town deemed worth to discuss. Uchiha Sasuke was back. What a troublesome pain in the ass situation to put up with. There weren't enough pills in this world to make him numb enough to the knowledge.

He resolutely kept away from Ino since he heard the news. Though he did ponder how she was handling everything. Did her bed seem colder without him in it? Or maybe she already resumed her pursuit to find a place in Sasuke's bed. Whatever. It didn't matter. She wasn't really his girlfriend, right? There was nothing he could do to make her stay. There was nothing that would make her want to stay. It was only matter of time before he lost her, just as he had lost Chou—

Shikamaru had run into Temari on the street the other day. (Why was she still in town?) He could read it on her face plain as a cloudless sky. She was going to ask his thoughts on the whole Uchiha situation. And he couldn't stand to lose his cool in front of her yet again. He kept his face neutral and walked past her as if he hadn't even noticed her, even when their shoulders brushed together. He didn't break stride to turn back. He never saw her watching his back until she could no longer see him in the distance.

"You're forming a rather detrimental routine."

"I'm a creature of habit," Shikamaru replied blandly, turning his seat to face Neji, "Were you ordered here to send me home?"

Neji gave a derisive snort at that.

"Hardly," he answered dryly, "I'm here to deliver orders to _you_."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in response, leaning back in his chair with his arms resting behind his head.

"What's the job?"

"Hokage-sama wants you to hold a detailed inquisition with Uchiha Sasuke regarding the fall of the Sound."

"You've got to be shitting me."

"What kind of person do you take me for?" Neji turned rapidly cold, "Uchiha has yet to provide any information thus far. And seeing how you were in charge of the investigation, I hardly see how this should come as a surprise to you."

Touché.

"…I'll head over first thing in the morning."

Neji gave a curt nod before departing. Shikamaru needn't know Tsunade had no part in this plan. He may still be bitter and plagued by that failed mission of four years ago, but he was still a human being. Neji hadn't gone to see the Uchiha personally. Hinata's word and her emotional outpouring over his illness was enough to earn Neji's pledge. Surely seeing Sasuke in his pitiful state would provide enough persuasion to convince Shikamaru to venture to Water Country.

As soon as Shikamaru was certain he was completely out of Neji's visual range, his hand jerked the desk drawer nearly to the point of violence. The lid of the pill bottle flew off and he poured a handful into his palm. He made no effort to even count them. He just downed them all and waited for the ache to stop.

* * *

An order was an order. Shikamaru stood before the home of Mitarashi Anko; the sky was gray and full. He wasn't shocked to see Neji waiting there for him. 

_Didn't think I'd show, did you?_

_I didn't think I would, either._

Neither spoke a word to each other. Shikamaru reminded himself that he wasn't a coward, that he wasn't the sort of man who would seek revenge like the person he was about to see. This was just business. Just another mission. A ninja does not let emotions get involved.

When the door opened, he felt a heaviness settle in the pit of his stomach. Anko's hair was a veritable rat's nest, her skin sweat-slicked and flushed with fever. Her whole being seemed to tremble. She was not having one of her "good " days.

"Heh. What brings you Anbu boys 'round here?" her voice sounded so tired.

Shikamaru found the whole image unbearable.

"Hokage-sama's orders," he answered grimly, "We're to conduct a full investigation with Uchiha Sasuke regarding the fall of the Sound."

"Today…Today's no good. He's in no condition to handle any visitors. Maybe you could come back tomorrow? He might be a little better by then."

Those few words seem to exhaust her completely.

Shikamaru didn't care one way or the other for the reason. If it meant postponing the inevitable, he was satisfied with that.

"I'm afraid we don't have the time to spare," Neji spoke plainly, giving Anko a pointed look. A _knowing_ look.

Anko understood his intent, keeping her expression blank. Scheme aside, they really were running out of time.

"Well, come on in then. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Shikamaru made the effort to keep the scowl off his face. What difference did a day really make? How sick could Uchiha really be if he wasn't in the hospital?

They made their way inside, politely keeping their attention away from Anko's labored gait. When they arrived at a particular door, she motioned for them to wait outside. Even so, they could still her Anko's soft voice. What an odd thought, for her to be so quiet.

"I'm sorry. They have to do this today. It can't wait."

There was a horrible brittle cough that broke through. Shikamaru felt his heart sink further. Why did he have to be the one to conduct this investigation?

"You can go in now," Anko opened the door and prudently made her exit.

The pair made their way into the dim room and did their best to maintain detached expressions. That same sickly stench seemed to permeate the air. Sasuke was barely conscious, his eye half-lidded and glassy. He was too consumed with fever, shivering with cold sweats, body spasms. He took no notice of his latest guests.

"Do you know why we're here, Uchiha?" Neji was unreadable as always.

Sasuke turned his head against the pillow, squinting to bring the view into focus. Here was Neji just as Sakura promised. As the white shape before his eyes transformed into the other Anbu in the room, he tried not to seem particularly surprised. The others had asked Shikamaru? Judging from the intense look on his face, it would probably be best to keep the answers vague.

"I can venture a guess," he rasped.

"Look, we're not interested in being here any more than you are in having us. So let's keep this as brief as possible," Shikamaru managed to keep his tone cold, "We really need all the info surrounding the collapse of the Sound Village."

"I believe I already made my report to the Hokage," he answered stiffly. Of all the things, why did he have to ask about that?

"You did," Shikamaru kept the image of Chouji lying cold and skinny fresh in his mind. It made looking at Sasuke easier. "But I'm calling your bluff."

"What would I gain from lying?" sick as he was, Sasuke still managed an impressive sneer.

"Hell if I know," Shikamaru scoffed, his mind trying to calculate all the different possibilities, "But it doesn't change the fact that you are."

Sasuke turned away. Long gone was the laid back, lazy ol' Shikamaru. This guy was hardened and was not going to be easily persuaded. There was probably no point in even trying to convince him.

"What does it matter? The Sound's gone. There's nothing left to gain from talking about it."

He couldn't say anything more. He couldn't admit that the Akatsuki had attacked the Sound. It would push Konoha to take aggressive action, which would only serve to put Naruto at greater risk. The village had no idea what the Akatsuki were like.

"Fine," Shikamaru ground his teeth, "Then why don't you talk about what _you_ were up to in the Sound. I think you left that part out of your chat with the Hokage."

"I can't see how that's any of your business," Sasuke managed to keep his temper from flaring. He wouldn't share that information even if it saved his life.

And that was the end of Shikamaru's small bit of patience. He grabbed Sasuke by the front of his shirt and hauled him into a sitting position.

"Not my business?!" Shikamaru shook him.

"Cool it—" Neji made to intervene.

Shikamaru ignored him completely. He remembered there was a time he'd kept a vigil by Neji's bedside as he lay in a coma. He remembered Kankurou standing almost bewildered (as much as one of the Sand trio ever got) in a hospital hallway. He'd carried back Kiba, a person he barely knew, in hopes of saving him. All he got for it was blood on his hands. He remembered Chouji and the tree and the arrow beckoning him to follow. Now he was finally face to face with the root of it all.

"I've got every right to know what Chouji and Kiba had to die for!"

But Sasuke wasn't listening anymore. He only heard the blood rushing in his ears and felt adrenaline pulse in his veins. It was complete instinct that caused him to twist Shikamaru's arm and shove him away.

"Keep your fucking hands off me!" he snarled, backing himself against the wall. Wild as he looked, all the posturing in the world couldn't mask that sort of fear.

Shikamaru once again found himself cursing his brilliant mind. Each small mannerism was another piece of the puzzle, one he didn't want to solve. He could make a fairly educated guess as to some of the things Sasuke was involved in while with Orochimaru. And he felt sick for understanding what Sasuke's reaction today probably meant.

Now he knew the biggest reason he hadn't wanted to come here. He didn't want to end up feeling sorry for a guy like this. Sasuke went to Orochimaru of his own volition. It was his own damn fault for having to suffer while he was there. For lying in a bed half-blind with a crippled arm. Shikamaru forced the image of Anko shuffling about with her sickness from his mind.

She'd been a student of Orochimaru, as well, he recalled. He once again cursed his brain for forcing him to recognize his hypocrisy.

Sasuke had grown calmer, withdrawing in on himself as he slouched against the wall. He kept his head bowed and his hair covered his face like a shield. His breath came in rattling gasps.

"I'm going to die soon, you know," Sasuke murmured, "Just let it be."

"I can't just let it go," Shikamaru admitted, no matter how much he hadn't intended to say so aloud.

"You've still got a life to lead and people to protect," another hacking cough, "So either live or wind up like me. It's your choice."

"We're done here," Shikamaru made a hasty exit. Neji offered a single nod before following suit.

* * *

It wasn't until they were outside and several paces down the road when Shikamaru just ran out of steam. 

"That wasn't like you," Neji commented flatly.

"What the hell did you expect?" Shikamaru muttered, "You can't tell me you weren't affected seeing him."

"Yes, I was affected. But it only solidified my resolve."

That got his attention. No matter how you looked at it, Sasuke was good as dead. Coming out here was pointless. And Shikamaru didn't need reminding from the likes of Uchiha Sasuke that his death wasn't going to really change anything. Chouji and Kiba were gone forever.

"What are you talking about?"

"Our mission isn't over yet," Neji said flatly, "We haven't rescued Sasuke."

Those words cut right to the marrow. Sasuke was back, but clearly nowhere near saved. But what was the point in trying to save a traitor?

"We all suffered after what happened four years ago," Neji continued, more subdued now, "But I have no intention of having the injuries I endured or the lives that were lost be for nothing."

"You're going to try and save him," Shikamaru blurted out. He was too stunned to even know if he was angry.

"Do you think me a fool for it?"

Well, it was hard to ever think of Neji as a fool. Not after he let go of the bitterness over his family.

"But there's no cure. If Hokage-sama can't do anything for him, then we'll be of even less help."

Neji stepped closer, his vision monitoring the surroundings acutely.

"There is a woman in Water Country who might think otherwise."

The two stared hard at one another. Shikamaru could hear the question floating in the air. He could remember being a kid thinking he could have saved one of Konoha's own. And two other comrades died for that belief.

"…When do we leave?"

* * *

Ino leaned against the counter at the flower shop, balancing her chin against the palm of her hand. She glanced out the window at the dreary sky and could do nothing but sigh. 

"Looks like rain today."

* * *

_She stood in the doorway, not even bothering to hide her surprise._

"_I didn't think you'd come here again," she spoke softly, "It's not safe, you know."_

"_When has it ever been?" he spoke in good humor, "And I'm sure you know why I'm here."_

"_I haven't seen them in a long time. There's nothing I can really do now."_

"_Silly as always, my dear sister. You know quite well they won't stay away forever, either. That's why I brought you something."_

_She opened her arms to take the bundle from him._

"_What…?"_

"_Don't worry so much. They'll know what to do when the time comes. 'Til then…"_

_He gave a casual wave and faded into the night. It would be a long time before she saw anyone again._

To be continued..._  
_


	16. Ch 16: Before I Go

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch 16: Before I Go

Hinata worried at her bottom lip as she carried on with Sasuke's medical treatment. She could hear Shizune speaking with Anko in hushed tones just beyond the door. Sasuke sat tensely, soaked with cold sweat and trying to hide his tremors. His left arm was balanced against her shoulder like a heavy stone as she tended to his latest wound. A new laceration had opened beneath his arm pit, running horizontally across the top of his rib cage. She tried to keep the worry from showing in her face. Somehow she just couldn't tell him.

'_If the infection reaches his heart, it's all over.'_

"Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"Don't tell Sakura."

"…Okay."

* * *

Neji and Shikamaru stood at attention before Tsunade while giving their mission proposal.

"We believe there is a person of interest currently seeking refuge in Water Country," Neji explained, "We understand it is not common policy to cross the border there. However, there is a very good chance to gain valuable information."

"This would be strictly a recon mission," Shikamaru took her silence for disapproval, "We have no intention of risking the chance of war by entering the country."

Tsunade balanced her chin against the palm of her hand, withdrawn and pensive. She scarcely had spared them a glance since they had entered her office. One had to wonder if she was even listening at all.

"You boys know what you're doing," she finally responded, "I have no reason to doubt your judgment."

"Then," Shikamaru took a breath, knowing this was what would make or break the plan, "Can you also approve a request for Sakura to accompany us on this mission?"

_That_ got her attention.

"Why…?"

"Her genjutsu is very well-suited for the terrain there. It would give us a huge advantage to remain concealed while tracking our target," Neji answered crisply, "Not to mention—"

"Fine," Tsunade cut him off, "I can see you've given this a lot of thought. Well, good luck."

The two nodded curtly before making their exit. Tsunade watched them disappear and imagined them to be running away. Shikamaru, who was a workaholic to avoid giving his mind a moment to think. Neji, who was trying to postpone a marriage he wanted no part of. And Sakura, who was trying to escape the town Sasuke had returned to. Plus, Tsunade mused, Sakura was undoubtedly running from her as well.

Just as the door clicked shut, it burst back open as Naruto barged into the room. Tsunade would have to talk with Shizune about allowing unexpected guests to just waltz in.

"Let me go with them," Naruto demanded.

"Absolutely not."

"But they told me Sakura-chan was going with them! You owe me at least this much."

"And you know damn well why you can't," Tsunade snapped back, "The Akatsuki--!"

"Fuck them! I'd rather face the whole lot of 'em than stay stuck here. Not while _he's_ still around."

"…I'm sorry. But I've made my decision. Don't force me to put you under surveillance to keep you from doing something foolish."

Naruto sighed, scowling, "Nah, he ain't worth it."

He left sulking and shoulders sagging, causing Tsunade's guilt to mount. These kids were breaking her heart.

Naruto leaned against the door outside the Hokage's office. Shizune was watching him with sympathetic eyes. He exhaled heavily, indulging in his bittersweet relief.

_Success._

* * *

Neji and Shikamaru exited the administrative building, adrenaline silently racing through their veins. Considering how smoothly that went, it made them both feel uneasy over how hard the actual trip may actually be.

"I'll take my leave here," Neji stated, "There are some things I need to take care of before we leave."

"Yeah, sure," Shikamaru gave a casual wave. He would have gone his separate way, until Neji leveled a rather pointed look at him. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, unsure of what was expected of him.

"I suggest you do the same," Neji advised.

That was the crux of it. Neither really knew exactly what to expect from this mission. They were about to head into enemy territory and meet with a woman they knew nothing about. And all because they were trusting Sasuke's word, someone openly declared a traitor. Who knew what they were _really_ getting involved with, or how long they would be gone?

In other words: leave nothing unfinished.

Shikamaru kept a neutral expression and let Neji depart before his Byakugan picked up on any subtle nuances. Of course there were things he should do. People he should see. Amends he should make. Shikamaru was known for being so methodical and thorough in all ventures, but the only course of action he could bring himself to do was to do nothing.

_Still the coward._

He found himself in a long-abandoned spot, lying in the grass watching the clouds go by. If for whatever reason this mission went sour, he supposed this was something he would miss. And yet he hadn't come to this place in years. Not since the only other person he knew who had appreciated it was gone. But still. There was something to say for nostalgia.

"What did they have to do to get _you_ out of the office?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes up to find the upside-down form of Temari in his vision. Great.

"Gotta leave early tomorrow," he grumbled.

"Oh? Big mission?" There was a certain teasing quality to her voice.

"None of your business," he muttered.

"Don't be such an ass," she flopped down onto the grass next to them, "It's not like I don't know you're in the Anbu."

He chose not to say anything further and so the two lay side by side, arms behind their heads, watching the clouds pass.

"Hmm, this is pretty nice," Temari commented, "The sun's too strong back home to just lie around and watch the day go by."

"Is that why you're in town all the time?" Shikamaru asked blandly.

"Naturally," she answered dryly, "You know, aside from that whole work thing."

Shikamaru made a noncommittal sound of agreement. It was nice to be back in this spot again, even if it meant enduring a battle of sarcasm with Temari.

"After all, no one can ever say I'm in Konoha for my social life," she added.

Shikamaru glanced over at Temari as she rose to her feet. There was something familiar about the tone of her voice, something she'd said years ago. Her words during that failed mission had pointed out Shikamaru had at least been lucky enough to have friends who would sacrifice their lives for his sake. The feeling was still there in her, that resentment. Shikamaru hadn't caught it back then, but he recognized it was deeper than that.

"I guess I'll see you when I see you," she offered cheerfully enough before trekking back up the hill.

Yes, Shikamaru understood now. Though he couldn't figure out why she'd bother coming to him to fix the situation. He wasn't particularly good company these days. He couldn't do anything for Ino. And he certainly wasn't doing any good for himself.

He couldn't change the fact that Temari was lonely.

* * *

The sun was setting now, especially brilliant as it was wont to be after a previous day's rain. Tenten sat on her porch and was utterly despondent to the scene. The world just didn't seem as bright as it used to be. And here she thought she would never be the type of person to grow so morose just because things hadn't gone her way…

"You could have told us."

She was startled by the sound of Neji's voice. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to approach her without her noticing. This was also the first time she was without anything to say. Words weren't going to do any good this time.

He stood by silently while she stared at her feet. There was no sense in pressing the issue. Not with her.

"I thought…" she finally began, collecting her thoughts, "I thought I had a chance. I didn't want to make everyone worry over it."

"So I noticed," he replied dryly.

"And I wanted to believe all my hard work had meant something," he noticed her hands were bandaged, "Now I keep training for missions I will never go on. For battles I will never have. Because I don't know anything else."

"It was hardly for nothing. You were as integral to our team as any of us. I imagine you could say those years were important for you."

Tenten smiled faintly at his attempts to comfort her. Perhaps his words might sound a bit standoffish to anyone else, but that was just Neji. She wouldn't change it for the world.

"It's unfair, you know. We're both in such similar situations, but I really envy you."

And now it was Neji's turn to be surprised. If he was going to be completely honest, he didn't think either of them really lucked out in the end.

"You still get to be a ninja," Tenten pointed out, "And even though you hate it, you still get to have a last name and be part of something. You have an identity. My family wouldn't even give me _that_."

The words dropped like stones around them. It's like people always say, a person doesn't know how good they have it until they find someone with less.

"You've got your Anbu gear with you," Tenten blurted out, desperate to change the subject.

"A mission came up. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Oh…This is probably goodbye then," Tenten admitted and returned to staring at her feet, "I won't be allowed to see you after…"

"I figured as much."

She forced herself to smile warmly, to try and convey how grateful she was that he would come see her one more time. One last time.

"Thank you, Neji. This really means a lot to me," she would not cry, "Be sure to give my regards to Lee and Gai-sensei, okay?"

"It's unfortunate there is nothing to be done to help you gain your own last name."

"Don't be silly!" she managed a genuine laugh. Neji was just so serious and formal and so typically him.

"But would you at least accept mine?"

She snapped her head up fast enough to get whiplash. He couldn't be asking…It couldn't be…

"You—You don't mean—?"

"That's precisely what I mean," he answered sternly, crossing his arms.

"But my family…And what about your family? How?" Tenten stopped when he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I doubt we'll be killed for it," Neji scoffed, "Don't you think it's about time we left this cage?"

That was the clincher.

"I'll wait for you," Tenten declared, "Go on your mission and I'll do whatever it takes to be here when you get back."

* * *

Night has made the sky its home. There was no moon but the stars were especially bright. Even in this late (or early) hour, Sasuke was ever light sleeper and he jerked awake at the sound of tapping at his window. He wondered if this would be the message that warned him of danger right before the Akatsuki descended on him. He drew the shade open and found Sakura perched on the ledge. Unquestioning, he opened the window for her.

"We're leaving just before sunrise," she announced and he nodded once in return. The mission had been approved. The two remained motionless and silent; Sakura likely having stopped by to inform him of the current situation before she left. Now that the message had been passed along, it seemed neither knew what came next. Sasuke shifted over in his bed as an unspoken invitation for her to come inside. Sakura flashed him a rather unreadable look, but as usual his eyes weren't on her.

She climbed through the window and lied down beside him, both staring at the ceiling. Sakura mused what her younger self might have done to share a bed with Sasuke. It only served to remind her of how shallow she used to be. Sasuke, meanwhile, wondered why being so close to Sakura or Naruto didn't make him nervous the way he was around everyone else.

_Because they're the only people you're able to trust completely. Even though you know you could still hurt them, they will never do the same._

Time drifted away without their notice, just as their fingers had become intertwined without their notice. They said nothing, for what was left to say? Sakura would leave on a mission because she wanted to save him. He'd given her all the information he could to help her get there safely, not to mention she would have two Anbu members with her. The only thing left was admitting this night was ending.

"I should get going," Sakura sat up, turning to look at him. It's only now that she realized he intentionally avoided looking at him. Even though she didn't know all the whys, she felt his guilt implicitly. It didn't matter that she and Naruto had given their forgiveness. Sasuke couldn't forgive himself.

"I promise we'll get you better, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura felt herself grow hesitant, but clung to her courage desperately as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his forehead. He tensed beneath her touch and she wondered if she made a mistake. Disappointment swelled within her but she didn't have time to spare for regrets. There was a mission to complete.

"Hang in there," she offered before climbing back onto the windowsill.

Sakura held back a yelp of surprise when she felt him grab her wrist and yank her backwards. She landed on her side with Sasuke's good arm wrapped around her, her back against his chest.

"Stay," he murmured, "For a few more minutes, just stay."

She bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from crying, letting him hold her. She hadn't thought much on that night Team 7 reunited and had all clung to one another. Now that things weren't as emotionally charged and it was just the two of them, she felt overwhelmed. She'd waited all her life for a moment like this. She never expected to feel so saddened by it.

"I'm not a good person," his voice was muffled by her hair, "While I was away…The things I did…"

"You made it back, though. I'm not going to lose you again," Sakura never thought she would hear Sasuke speak in such pleading tones, "The other day, when I said I never…I want you to know I didn't mean it. I still—I'm still in—"

"Don't say it."

Sakura turned in his embrace to face him. At least he could finally look her in the face.

"I understand," a forced smile, heartbroken, "Though I really should go now…"

He tightened his grip on her, meeting her gaze.

"You'll be gone for a while, but don't act like this. I'll still be here when you return. So don't say your last goodbyes to me."

They were so close, their noses almost touching. There was a magnetic pull between the two, both stubbornly keeping themselves from closing the distance.

"I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun."

"You never have."

* * *

Lee and Ino arrive at the training ground and naturally noticed Neji was absent. However, it was hard to miss that there were several guests present.

"Good morning, everyone," Gai greeted, "As you can see, we'll be doing something a little different today."

Six pairs of eyes were focused intently on him.

"Well, the first thing on the agenda is Neji had a mission come up so he'll be away for a little while. Thus, Shino will be filling in for the time being."

"But what about your team?" Lee turned to Shino.

"As I'm sure you have heard, Hinata is involved with Uchiha's treatment," a hint of bitterness, "Sakura was requested for Hyuuga's mission."

"Sakura was?" Ino blurted out.

"I assumed you knew. Shikamaru is also on that mission, after all."

Ino shook her head before turning to the other group.

"Did he tell you anything, Temari-san?"

Temari felt extremely uncomfortable. Did everyone think something was going on with her and Shikamaru?

"No," Temari found herself lying with a perfect poker face, "I just assumed my brothers and I were contacted to take part in a joint mission."

_Shikamaru, you idiot. You didn't even have the nerve to tell your so-called "best friend" the truth._

Ino tried to keep up a calm appearance. She couldn't let the others know she was completely in the dark. Granted, Shikamaru had made himself scarce since the news about Sasuke's return had broken out. But he didn't even bother to tell her he had an Anbu mission?

_He didn't tell me he was leaving. He didn't tell me **anything.**_

* * *

"_You want me to help with what?" he eyed the bottle on the table, "You've got to be joking."_

"_It isn't terribly hard. But I can't see well enough anymore to do it myself."_

"_Why the hell do you wear nail polish, anyway?"_

"_To conceal a weakness," came the rather sensible response, "I used to chew my nails as a way to calm my nerves. I'd keep going until my fingers were bloody and raw. And I just cannot afford to show any vulnerabilities, considering the position I'm in."_

"…_So this actually works?" he felt like a scolded child._

"_People look at this and assume it is just a peculiarity of my personality. For me, it is a reminder that I have appearances to uphold. I can't afford to slip. And now, neither can you."_

To be continued…


	17. Ch 17: Growing Old in Winter

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 17: Growing Old in Winter

They weren't completely sure of even how long they'd been on the road anymore. All the three understood was the cold. Their fingers had long gone numb, their joints ached, any bit of skin exposed to the elements was chapped red. They were far too young to feel this old.

They paused only to double-check the map, confirming the best path to take. Sakura stared into the desolate white landscape that stretched out into the distance, mountain peaks looming on the horizon. The sun was bright in the clear sky and made it difficult to look at the snow-covered land. Pity it didn't offer any shred of warmth.

She adjusted the scarf covering her face and continued the trek onward.

_Sasuke-kun._

There were many miles to go, but the road still led back home. That's what they all kept telling themselves.

* * *

Sasuke bolted up in bed, drenched in sweat and fear gnawing at his stomach. It was only mid-evening at best, yet he had been sleeping. But there were no messenger birds or surprise guests at his window rousing him. It was a deep, intrinsic sense of _knowing_ there was trouble. An awful chakra seemed to flood his senses and he knew now he was out of time.

The Akatsuki were in this town.

He struggled to pull himself out of bed. Fear and pain and fatigue overwhelmed his being. He tumbled from the bed to the floor, hand gripping his side where the newest wound had opened. All he could do was grit his teeth and crawl towards the door. The image of a snake on its belly seized his mind and he reached for the doorknob, forcibly pulling himself to his feet.

Oh god...He couldn't do this anymore…He couldn't…

"Sasuke?" Anko stood at the other end of the hall, "You alright?"

He used the wall as his guide as he pushed himself along. His eye met hers, cloudy and unfocused.

"Sasuke…?" she came closer as he struggled with each step.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "For all the trouble."

Her feet shuffled to a halt, her shoulders sagging forward. She couldn't believe this.

"Leaving again?" she asked casually. Was he completely crazy?

"Unfinished business," he replied grimly as he retrieved something from his pocket, "Give this to Naruto and Sakura, when she gets back."

Anko took the letter from his shaking hand, trying to think of a way to talk him out of going.

"What am I supposed to tell them?" she finally asked.

"Everything's there. They'll understand," he answered (hoped), before bowing as best he could, "Though I want you to know…I really am grateful for all you…Because of…"

_Because you knew. And you understood. And that's all I needed to cope with what happened in that place._

"Get goin' already," she grinned broadly, "I'll see you when you get back."

Sasuke was so stunned he barely remembered to breathe, but he still managed to offer a hesitant nod. She never questioned him, not really, and she never stopped him. Anko knew him too well not to let him do as he needed. And she supported him through it all. Even she had to realize he wouldn't be coming back alive. She didn't know about his involvement with the Akatsuki, or the secrets he guarded, but it didn't take a genius to know he couldn't survive much more of anything. Yet she smiled and wished him well.

The woman was a fucking saint.

Sasuke wondered if Sakura could be so good as to offer her forgiveness one more time. He sent her and the others off to far and dangerous lands with the desperate wish that the Yakushi medic might have discovered a cure but had no way of really knowing for sure. But even when he was dead and gone, at least they might be able to return with a way to save Anko. It was the only way he could ever repay the woman's generosity. The Hokage was only keeping him alive to help a truly good Konoha ninja, anyway. He had no illusions about his situation, no matter the kindness his old team held for him.

Not that he worried about how Naruto would feel. That idiot would forgive him a thousand times over 'til the day he was dead, too. It was just his nature. Sasuke could only hope the letter he left behind could offer some sense of closure. His life was already forfeit. There was nothing left to give.

* * *

The sun almost finished setting over the mountains of Water Country when the trio came across a tiny shack. They were halfway up a slope and the wind was fierce; they were so tired and so cold, they almost had trouble believing they had reached their destination.

Neji knocked at the door and the three tried to maintain an appearance of neutrality. The door opened a crack, just enough for them to see a shrouded woman with only her plum eyes visible.

"May I help you?" her words were loaded with suspicion.

"Well," Shikamaru began, "We're here because—"

"Sasuke-kun told us to find you," Sakura's desperation got the best of her.

The woman's eyes widened but she did not open the door any further.

"Oh? Still alive, is he?" she spoke in cool, bland tones, "And what of that brother of his?"

"Itachi's dead," Neji replied flatly, ever the controlled Anbu.

Her hand twitched as she kept her hold on the door. It did not go unmissed by the trio, but they maintained their silence. The woman lowered her eyes, expression otherwise unreadable.

"…I see."

* * *

Shops were just beginning to close as Sasuke snuck through the shadows. Breath ragged, arm heavy, side sore. He stumbled across the village he once knew so well feeling like a ghost. Even familiar faces and places were hard to recognize. He'd been gone too long and soon he'd be gone forever. Fucking figured.

He stopped short and pressed himself against a wall to conceal himself when a shop owner stepped out to lock up for the night. He forced himself to remain still and silent despite the burning pain from the wound in his side. It grew even more difficult when he realized it was Ino closing her family's store. She seemed like a completely different person. Her hair had gotten long again, concealing half of her face. She was much taller than he remembered her being, body well-defined from countless hours of training.

It never really hit him until now. This whole village had grown and changed without him. And it wouldn't be long before he would die, leaving the village to carry on just as it had been. Aside from a small handful, would anyone even care if he was gone? Did it even matter?

_No._

One life to protect the lives of many. Not just Naruto and Sakura, whom he cared for immensely. Or Anko, whom he owed an immeasurable debt. Or Kakashi, whom he would always respect. Or even Neji and Shikamaru, Hinata—Damn it all.

He cared about this village and its people all too much. It wouldn't be home without all of them here.

Suddenly the pain, the sickness, none of it mattered. He had reclaimed that sense of calm he'd found in that cell a year ago. He was not afraid. He could die for this place.

He understood his brother a little better now.

The dark of night settled in when Sasuke at last reached the banks of the Nagano River. Fireflies blinked and flickered out in a deathly shade of green.

"It seems you learned from the err of your brother's ways, I trust?"

Firefly light gleamed against his blood-colored eyes.

"I know what you came here for," Sasuke spit out a mouthful of blood, no shyness about his ailment, "And I'm in no shape to run or fend you off. So just get it over with, already."

Shisui's laugh was not an altogether unpleasant sound. It sent chills down Sasuke's spine.

"If I wanted you dead, I'd just let that curse of yours do you in," Shisui's teeth were a terrifying splash of bone in the dark, "After all, you've been so helpful while alive. Itachi finally showed where his loyalties really lied, and now you were so kind as to send three poor souls into the mountains of Water Country. It's always so nice to know where my enemies keep their spies."

Sasuke's blood froze in his veins. This just couldn't be happening. He'd played right into the Akatsuki's hand all over again. How could he still be so stupidly naïve? He just sent them all to their deaths…He'd sent Sakura…

_Sakura!_

"Did you honestly think we hadn't been keeping an eye on you?" Shisui's voice was light and teasing, "And even though you're sure to die soon anyway, I doubt that would keep that jinchuuriki boy you're so friendly with from coming to look for you. Wouldn't you agree?"

It was so clear. It was all so fucking clear now! They never intended to hunt him down just to kill him. Dead or alive, he was going to be used as bait to capture Naruto.

Naruto, Sakura, Neji, Shikamaru, Miss Yakushi…

His brother…

Just as the blackness swallowed him, he regretted giving that note to Anko.

* * *

"And why did you feel the need to come here on Sasuke's behalf?"

They were inside the woman's home now, craving the warmth of the fireplace.

"He's very sick," Sakura felt strangely intimidated by this woman and couldn't look her in the eye, "He said you were the only one who could help."

"You still haven't told me who you are," Yakushi crossed her arms.

"Friends," Sakura held out her Konoha headband. She could feel Neji and Shikamaru grow tense behind her. She was taking a major risk by declaring where her allegiance lied, especially to a complete stranger.

The woman stared hard at the object, trying to calculate every implication Sasuke's return to Konoha might entail.

"We even lied to the Hokage just to come here," Shikamaru added. He wasn't going to leave Sakura hanging due to her admission.

"So he made it home…" Yakushi grew distant as she leaned against the wall, "That's good to hear."

"Will you help us?" Sakura pleaded. How quick we fall back into our old ways, she thought to herself, reducing herself to an emotional fool whenever Sasuke was concerned. Could she dare say she'd become a stronger person?

"I will say you have good timing," Yakushi gestured to a canvas bag in the corner, "My source had only been by recently with the necessary data, as well as the rest of Sasuke's personal affects."

"Your 'source'?" Neji inquired, doubt beginning to mount.

"I had a person planted in the Sound," she half-lied, "Said person was forced into hiding after the village collapsed, so it took time for the research to make its way here."

"A spy in the Sound," Shikamaru grew suspicious, memories of that horrid place still fresh in his mind, "That's the first I've heard about it."

_And just what village was this person spying for?_

"I imagine there is a lot you've yet to learn," she sighed, "But such things are kept secret for a reason."

Yakushi moved to the corner of the room to retrieve the bag, knowingly placing it in Sakura's hands.

"So this is what will save Sasuke-kun…"

"I won't make any guarantees. It's a rather complex procedure, one based mostly on theory."

"It doesn't matter," Sakura smiled, an odd mix of hope and cool determination, "I will save him."

Yakushi, too, smiled softly beneath that concealing wrap of hers.

"Hmm, yes. Perhaps you will."

That was when the first explosion hit.

The poor little house tilted on its foundation and the group hit the floor, shielding themselves from the shower of glass from blown-out windows. Yakushi was the first to rise, quickly setting herself in a defensive crouch.

"Did you set me up?" bewildered, then accusing, "I don't believe this. You set me up!"

"No!" Sakura cried out, clutching the bundle to her chest, "It's not us!"

"They've got to be further up the mountain," Shikamaru assessed, calculating the current tactical situation.

"Wrong," Neji spoke quietly, Byakugan activated, "They're above us."

"The roof?" Shikamaru stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide and mind racing.

"The air," Neji replied grimly, "They're flying…We have to evacuate."

Yakushi doused the fire still burning at the hearth, casting the room into darkness.

"Sakura," Shikamaru called out in a hushed tone. She nodded in the dark and took the lead, spreading her illusion to conceal them as she opened the door.

Deidara circled overhead, staring down into a blinding snowstorm.

"What convenient timing for a storm to start up. Must have a genjutsu user with them, un," his smirk grew, "As if such a trick would be any match for me."

He adjusted the scanner over his eye and studied the four heat signatures it registered.

"Kaboom."

Another bomb dropped into their midst. They barely had time to cry out as they were thrown by the blast, separated, and sent tumbling down through ice and rock.

Sakura tried to right herself, disoriented and head ringing. She put a hand over her ear and pulled back to see the blood now covering her palm.

_My eardrum's ruptured…_

She contemplated taking the time to heal it, but feared staying still for long enough to do so. It was apparent the enemy had some way to see through her genjutsu. As she gained her bearings, it slowly sunk in that something wasn't right. Something was missing from her empty arms.

"The cure!"

She spotted the bag further down the slope, near the opening of a crevice. And instinctively she dove towards it.

_Let me make it. Please!_

Deidara was giddy watching the scene below. All the confusion, the blood, utter chaos. Clearly a great work of art.

"This will be a masterpiece," his hand-mouth shaped the clay, "An exercise in minimalism."

Sakura lost her footing after the precision blast struck just behind her. She extended herself to protect her precious package with her body, though there was nothing put a halt to her downward skid. That horrible sense of weightlessness overwhelmed her and she stared down into the abyss below for an eternal moment.

"_I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun."_

The memory of her promise fluttered through her mind as she caught the edge of the cliff with one hand, as she felt the jar of her shoulder dislocate. Despite the pain, she kept a death grip as the rough stone bit into her skin and she dangled over the chasm with the cure secured in her other hand. She grit her teeth and sought purchase for her fingers twitching and slipping from the frozen stone. She forced chakra into that hand, determined to keep her hold.

She had trained all these years just to grow stronger. It couldn't end here, so far from home. She couldn't fail Sasuke. She couldn't fail herself.

_Tsunade-shishou._

With a cry, she forced every bit of strength she could into her wounded arm and vaulted her body up. She collapsed and curled up panting in the snow, holding the bag so tightly.

"Sakura!"

She weakly raised her head and saw Shikamaru approaching. His face was bloody, his clothes torn, but he was still standing. Another blast rang out in the distance and Neji tumbled away to safety before charging towards them.

"We've got to get him out of the sky," Neji's breath was ragged. He and Sakura looked to Shikamaru expectantly. He, in turn, had the good grace to look put upon. It was a nostalgic expression, one that reminded the others of days long past. Days, secretly, they worked towards living once more.

"I've got a plan."

Deidara circled overhead, wondering what possessed that little group to huddle together like vermin. As if the vulture wasn't stalking from above. Well, he thought with a grin, you are what you are. He zoomed in with his scanner, watching them as through a telescope. A microscope. He honed in on the little girl just as she turned sharply to throw a kunai. Deidara laughed as it whizzed by a good few feet from his head.

"Ha!" full bravado, "As if such an attack had any chance of working on me, un."

Sakura merely let her lips curl into a surprisingly wicked smirk as the explosion tag went off. Deidara had been caught unawares and had to take a moment to stabilize his position in the air. _Sneaky little brats…_

And it was a perfect distraction, not to mention an adequate source of light. Shikamaru's shadow threads leapt from point to point across the ground, capturing Deidara's clay owl in its grasp. The light lasted just long enough for him to turn the bird upside down.

Deidara had not anticipated this trick in the slightest and was left grasping at air as he tried to reach for his bird. He dropped like a stone before crashing, rolling, down the mountainside.

"Fuckin' kids," he growled, stumbling to his feet in a daze. One arm hung limply at his side while he pressed his working hand against the gash bleeding from his temple. His scanner was busted from the fall and he knocked it to the ground irritably, then resumed covering his head wound. He had just enough warning by the sound of crunching snow to look up and see Neji coming at him full speed.

"Two points!"

"Four points!"

"Eight, sixteen, thirty-two!"

"Sixty-four points!"

Deidara reeled backwards, numbed and weakened from having his chakra points sealed. He bitterly mused that he should have paid more attention to the fact that there was a Hyuuga among this group, kid or not. Still on his feet, still staggering backwards, he tried to plan his next attack. Wondered what he could do now that he couldn't use his chakra to convert the clay into explosives.

That's when he saw her, saw Sakura jumping over Neji's head, saw her fist pulled back and ready to strike. Chakra rolled in waves from that hand and Deidara could do nothing but stare up at her as she came down towards him. With a bemused expression, he decided this turned out to be an ugly picture after all.

Sakura's fist struck Deidara's face full force, a spray of blood, bone, and brain matter splattering across the snow.

Her feet dug into the snow as she skidded to a stop, turning to survey the damage with a cold expression. Both Neji and Shikamaru stared at her with raised eyebrows. They both heard she was strong after training under the Hokage, but…

"Sakura?" Shikamaru felt uncharacteristically awkward as he held the bag out to her. She shouldered it with her good arm, the other still hanging lamely.

"The woman!" she suddenly exclaimed, seemingly returning to the girl they remembered, "Have either of you seen her?"

"Don't you mind me," Yakushi called from up the slope. Her head wrap had evidently been destroyed in the fight but it was still hard to make out her features in the dark.

"What will you do?" Sakura answered back, "Your home was—"

"It was just a house. Those things can be rebuilt," her tone was firm, but not unkind, "But you three still have a long journey home. At least take some courage from knowing you just took out an Akatsuki agent."

"Akatsuki?" Neji sounded as disbelieving as he was capable.

"Why were _they_ out here?!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Like I said," Yakushi almost sounded amused, "You still have a lot to learn. Well, godspeed and all that."

Shikamaru was busy examining Deidara's corpse to see if there was anything useful left behind. There were no documents or any other kind of information. Though he did take Deidara's ring. He had a hunch this was going to come in handy later.

The three began their trek down the mountain, Sakura the last to reluctantly leave as she stared into the distance at Yakushi. In the weak sliver of moonlight, the woman's hair seemed almost the color of wine. Across her face, she seemed to have distinct markings or face paint of some kind. The clouds overtook the moon and Sakura never got another chance to try and learn the woman's features. When the sky cleared again, she was gone and Sakura turned to follow her teammates home.

Home.

* * *

It was a calm day when the three made it back to Konoha, the crisp scent of autumn dominating the air. Sunny, with some clouds. A bit cool but it was a merciful temperature compared to the Water Country mountains. Kotetsu and Izumo eyed them with somber expressions from the checkpoint as they passed through the gates. They were ragged, tired, weathered. The three looked much older than when they left. Considering Neji and Shikamaru were Anbu, it said a lot about what their mission must have entailed.

Sakura was quick to note the compassionate looks everyone seemed to offer them as they passed by. Shinobi came and went from hard missions all the time; these looks seemed different somehow. And that was when Ino came into view, eyes red-rimmed. She must have been crying for what looked like days. Sakura wanted to say something, anything, to her but her mouth wouldn't open. Her throat seemed to close in on itself.

"Ino…?" Shikamaru approached hesitantly. Internally he was kicking himself for not saying anything to her before he left. He briefly reflected on the old adage about how you always hurt the ones you love.

"Shikamaru," her chin wobbled as she tried to get everything out before breaking down again, "Asuma-sensei—Asuma-sensei—"

Shikamaru swallowed thickly. There was no way anything she was going to tell him would be good news. He tried to steady his trembling hand as he nervously reached out and touched her shoulder. With a wail, she threw her arms around him, clutching desperately to keep herself on her feet.

"Asuma-sensei's dead!"

"Wha—How?" his voice was cracking, his eyes burned, as he held her tightly, "Oh god…oh god…Asuma…"

Sakura hid her gasp behind her hands, tears already spilling down her cheeks. Neji shifted uncomfortably, caught somewhere between helplessness and blinding anger. Around the corner, Temari leaned against the building with arms crossed and expression drawn. She would bring herself no closer to the scene than this. Naruto chose that moment to speed by her and round the corner at breakneck speed.

"Sakura-chan!"

She felt frozen in place with her tear-stained face as she watched Naruto come to a halt, panting. His skin looked ashen, as if he hadn't slept since she left. Knowing him, it was a likely possibility.

It felt entirely impossible to feel any sense of happiness considering the news they just received, but she wanted very much to tell Naruto that the mission had been a success. Things weren't completely hopeless. Or so she wanted to believe. But judging from Naruto's expression, perhaps that wasn't the case at all.

"Sakura-chan," had Naruto ever sounded so vulnerable? "…Sasuke's gone."

"'Gone'?" she echoed, as if she had never heard the word before, "Wait—! You mean, he's—that he—"

_Don't tell me this, Naruto. Please don't say it!_

"He's gone. Disappeared," Naruto nervously wrung his hands together, "They had the Anbu searching everywhere…But then, I mean, with Asuma-sensei…"

He trailed off, extremely conscious of Ino and Shikamaru standing a few mere feet away. He kept his eyes trained on the ground. He couldn't look at them. And he certainly couldn't look at Sakura. Once again, he'd failed at keeping Sasuke home. Sakura had gone out and risked her life to try and find a cure. While he just let Sasuke slip through his fingers once more. He knew if he looked at Sakura's face right now, heartbreak undoubtedly in plain sight, it would absolutely kill him.

"Naruto," Shikamaru's voice came out as a rasp. He pulled back from Ino but didn't let go completely. "I need to know. Asuma-sensei…who did it?"

The cold steel in his tone made Naruto shuffle his feet anxiously, never once raising his eyes.

"Akatsuki," he mumbled, "They said the Akatsuki got 'em."

* * *

"_Had you been close?" he asked, "Your old team."_

"_No," the other answered calmly, no hint of regret, "I'd been five years younger than them, so I imagine I made them uncomfortable."_

"_Because you were stronger than them?"_

"…_Perhaps."_

"_Did you even get along with your teacher?"_

"_There was nothing he could teach me that I wasn't already aware of on some level. Once again, a rather unnatural situation."_

"_Hnn, I guess you really are as much of a genius as everyone always said."_

"_Hardly," his tone bordered on self-defeat. There were memories attached to that voice. "It was wartime. You either learned very fast or you died. I was fortunate enough to have a shortcut."_

_He gestured to his eyes._

"_Your team…they didn't survive very long, did they."_

"_If you take anything away from this life, short as it might end up, be grateful for those few days you enjoyed with yours."_

_A typical answer from him. He could never come out and say his team died in the war. Or that it bothered him still. Or that he wished he'd known that sense of unity the other once shared with his own team._

_But it would seem they understood one another perfectly well. No matter how brief their time together may be._

To be continued…


	18. Ch 18: Salvation

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 18: Salvation

The soft rustle of clothing seemed to roar inside the Hokage's office. The three, despite their desolate weariness from traveling through Water Country and…and…They still chose to immediately make their mission report. Tsunade watched them with eyes both scrutinizing and sympathetic. They looked like pitiful abandoned children, dirty and ragged and broken.

Sakura kept her gaze averted, not able to face her former mentor completely. Not when the reason, the _person_, that pulled them apart was gone without a trace.

Neji chose to watch the world beyond the window instead. Birds flew by with their usual careless grace. Once again, the cage pressed in against him.

Shikamaru stared forward with a stony expression. Tsunade wouldn't call it an attempt to restrain emotions on his part. Rather, he appeared as a person completely devoid of feeling. As if he shut down his entire being.

"If you need," Tsunade began cautiously, "If you feel it wiser to give this report at a later time—"

"We were ambushed by the Akatsuki," Shikamaru voiced flatly, and Tsunade sucked in a shaky breath.

"So the rumors are true," she seemed to murmur mostly to herself, "They have gone on the offensive…"

"We succeeded in killing our attacker," Neji stated, perhaps intending to calm the Hokage's nerves.

"You—" she was at a loss for words as she rose from her chair, "You three succeed in taking out an Akatsuki agent?"

"Yep," Shikamaru was still a blank slate, "He's dead and we're still here, somehow."

_Even though **Asuma** is the one who should be standing here._

The unspoken words screamed through all their minds. Perhaps Shikamaru was not as unreadable as he would have liked.

"How…?"

"Shikamaru came up with the strategy," Neji replied, earning a nod from Tsunade, "Sakura landed the killing blow."

Sakura's shoulders jerked, though she didn't raise her head. Even though she could feel Tsunade watching her. And the Hokage doesn't know whether congratulations were in order, or if Sakura would be better served by a hug.

"I'm so glad all of you returned home safely," she finally spoke with gentle tones, "Please do get some rest."

She would press them no further. They were here and alive. That was all the news she could handle at this point.

Shikamaru turned sharply and marched out of the office without another word. Neji offered a bow of respect before making his own exit. Sakura remained turned in on herself and shuffled towards the door in silence.

"Sakura?"

She paused by the door at the sound of Tsunade's voice.

"If you'd like, I would be more than willing to further assist in your training."

"That would be quite unnecessary," she coolly declined.

She was strong enough to kill S-Class criminals. She could heal a squad's share of injuries earned from fighting an S-Class criminal. What else could she gain? It wasn't as if she could afford to let herself grow fond of her teacher once more. Not when betrayal and loss was waiting in the wings.

"Oh Sakura, I'm so sorry," Tsunade's palms pressed against the desk, head bowed, "I never wanted you to suffer like this."

_I tried so hard to protect you from the hurt I grew to know so well._

"And maybe if you'd had the heart to tell me about Sasuke-kun from the start, none of this would have happened."

The door close with a soft click but the emptiness of the room echoed in Tsunade's chest. Tears splashed against the wood of her desk with a heartbeat staccato.

"I'm such a fool," she murmured to four unyielding walls, "A hypocrite who tried to spare her student and blinded myself to everything else. We never learn, do we, Jiraiya…"

* * *

Sakura's home was very quiet when she entered. The smell of cooked food drifted from the kitchen, but she didn't go to greet her mother. Silence was a gift she gained from her hard years and slipped upstairs without so much as even a creak from the floorboards.

Once alone in her room, she stood oh so still and just breathed. The window was open to let in a pleasant breeze. The curtains fluttered and sunlight cheerily spilled through. A stack of medical books rested neatly atop her desk. Beside it was a framed photograph. _The_ photograph.

Slowly she walked towards it, hand raised, before her body all but collapsed to the floor. Her fingertips just grazed the edge of the table as she curled in on herself. And she wept. Uncontrollable body-wracking sobs overwhelmed her very being; wailing like a wounded animal.

Gone.

Sasuke was gone, _gone_, **_gone!_**

All she ever worked for, ever wished for…It wasn't worth a fucking thing!

If she couldn't save one life, just that one life, none of her training mattered. So what if she killed an Akatsuki? Knowing that it kept Naruto a little safer was a bitter comfort when she knew Naruto couldn't bear a world without Sasuke there with them. Yet Sakura hadn't been fast enough. She didn't make it back in time. She failed both her teammates.

She didn't keep her promise to Naruto that she would succeed. And she knew Sasuke all too well. He had to have known he was out of time and likely went off to die somewhere. Alone. He wouldn't have wanted them to see him like that. He wouldn't have been able to see them and know how soon it would all end. Know that he couldn't stay with them.

In the end, all she'd been good for was crying. Nothing ever changed. She never changed. Here she was lying on the floor crying, _screaming_ her throat raw and she didn't even know who it was for anymore. For her broken promise to Naruto? For the loss of Sasuke? For realizing just how pathetic she really was?

Sakura also knew she deeply wounded Tsunade with her words. Words she hadn't meant. But to keep anyone close meant she would be that much more devastated when she lost them. It meant there would be that many more people she would let down, disappoint. She was just so insufferably weak, so aimless, so pointless. Without Sasuke's presence, without even the hope to see him again…All her courage, her strength, her _everything_ spiraled down the drain.

_Sasuke-kun…_

_Every time you go, you always take the best of me with you._

* * *

Strange that it was another day of fine weather. A soft blue sky dotted with puffy clouds. So pleasant it just made you sick. It wasn't supposed to be a nice day. It should be gray and cold and raining and…

Sunshine just didn't belong at a funeral.

But here the village stood as a stark sea of black. They stand as one for one fallen man. For Asuma.

Shikamaru is at the ceremony this time, cold as stone, as the rock holding everything else steady. To his left was Ino, holding his arm. Her features were reserved and only the bruising grip she kept on his arm gave her away. Ino, he thought, always tried too hard to keep people from worrying. As if everyone didn't know how she must be feeling…

And to his right, Kurenai clung to him like a lifeline. There was little doubt she'd be on the ground if Shikamaru wasn't there to support her. With the sun shining the way it was, he couldn't avoid catching its reflection against the ring on her left hand. He wondered if had anything worth complaining about when he looked at that ring. Yes, he lost his teacher. His mentor. The coolest adult he'd ever known. But Kurenai lost her _husband._

_But if I had stayed, maybe we wouldn't have lost anyone…_

Behind them stood Hinata and Shino, wishing they could also offer some sort of comfort to their teacher. Kurenai was always so gentle with them, showered them with encouragement. She kept their team together no matter what changed, no matter what they lost. Yet it seemed there was nothing they could do for her in return. Sakura, of course, was there. But at a distance again. Hinata thought it was so unfair that after the bit of ground she and Sakura had gained towards one another, the gap was now wider than ever.

Sakura stood with her head bowed, shoulders quaking. Even with Naruto's arm around her. Even as he whispered softly in her ear. Yes, things were as they'd always been. Sasuke was gone and they relied only on one another. Hinata was hardly jealous, though. She just hurt so terribly. She didn't know how to express to anyone how much _she_ was upset over learning of Sasuke's disappearance. She had tried so hard, so very hard, to save him. To fix everything. And now they all had less than when he left the first time.

More betrayal, more loss, more death. It just never ended.

"If you need to stand with him, then go," Shino spoke tersely, as always.

Hinata's head jerked up. She hadn't even realized she was crying until then.

"Shino-kun…"

"It's alright to admit you're saddened by Uchiha's disappearance. If it is Naruto's support you need right now, don't hesitate on it."

She shook her head, eyes lowered.

"I'm here for Kurenai-sensei."

The pair grew quiet again as the ceremony progressed. Watched as Shikamaru subtly shifted his balance so he could keep Kurenai on her feet. Watched Ino's white-knuckled hand grasp his other arm.

"It's not your fault," Shino added, "You know that, right?"

Her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. A weak smile threatened to break through. Even though she tried so hard not to blame herself, actually hearing someone say it left her feeling far more vindicated than she had any right to be. No, things really hadn't changed in this village. As she glanced over at Shino, she was glad some things stayed the same.

In the back of the crowd stood the Sand siblings, forever showing their solidarity and respect for their Leaf brethren. Every now and then, Kankurou would shift and fidget. Somehow it seemed out of place for them to be there. It was a terrible thing that a man died. But it felt like the three of them were on the outside looking in. Like they were infringing on other people's pain. Did anyone even notice they were there?

Temari wondered the same thing, even as her eyes kept drifting back to Shikamaru.

_You're such a hypocrite. Always trying to be the strong one, no matter how hard everyone around you struggles to do the same. You waste all your time on everybody except yourself…_

She forced herself to look away from him, filled with a mixture of annoyance and another feeling she couldn't quite place. Though something in the back of her mind registered it as…pity? And that's when she glanced over at Gaara. His face was stoic and perhaps far too contemplative for her to be comfortable with. No, it wasn't the loss of this one man that weighed so heavily on his mind. She knew it was _how_ he died that got under Gaara's skin.

Cautiously, her hand reached out and brushed her fingertips against his. He flinched at the contact but continued to stare forward nonetheless. Temari took this as a good sign and firmly took hold of his hand. She only looked straight ahead now and kept her silence, but the message was clear.

_Don't worry. I won't let them take you._

Moments passed by quietly, gravely. But then she felt it. Gaara's fingers slowly moved to intertwine with hers before he squeezed her hand. It took every ounce of her training not to burst into tears at his affectionate gesture. She, too, heard her brother's unspoken words.

_There's no need to worry. I will not lose to them._

* * *

The funeral ended and the crowd dispersed. Most left, some lingered.

Lee made his way through the departing to find the three Sand-nin. It felt like it had been far too long since they all had the chance to just talk. He found a smile creeping across his face as he watched Temari and Gaara casually let go of one another's hands.

"I'm glad you guys came," Lee began.

"…Of course," Gaara answered stiffly.

Lee rubbed at the back of his neck, clearly feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation. He started and stopped talking several times, desperately trying to avoid all the painful things on everyone's minds.

"I'm glad I got to see Tenten," Lee finally said. She stood a good distance away, speaking with Neji in hushed tones. Lee obviously wanted to say something about her current predicament, which was the same as Neji's. Yet he couldn't force the words out of his mouth.

"There are worse things than marriage and family, even under such circumstances," Gaara spoke blandly.

They pointedly avoided looking at Asuma's tombstone.

"It's funny, you know?" Lee's voice was strangely calm, "Tenten didn't seem as upset about it as I thought she would be."

"I waited," Tenten whispered so that only Neji would hear her, "I convinced them to hold off until you came back. So you could attend, of course."

Her expression was subtly sly.

"Of course," Neji could feel the key turning in the lock of his cage. He focused on that one thought, rather than think about how deeply Kurenai was mourning the loss of her spouse. Death was the only real certainty anyone had in life. But what life would be worth living if a person was too afraid to take that step forward, too afraid to lose?

"I know you planned on returning home soon…?" Lee's voice seemed to hint quite strongly that he did not want to see the three leave.

"Things have obviously changed," Temari kept herself detached, kept that feeling of hope Gaara offered her fresh in her mind. Gaara said nothing on the subject, though he found himself searching for Naruto. He was still around, still holding Sakura close. Tension and fear radiated off the pair in waves. Gaara made a point of ignoring the noose around his neck as it seemed to grow a little tighter.

"I'll help you," Lee announced, "When it's time to fight them, I'll be there."

"We're allies," Gaara said crisply, "I rather assumed as much."

"No! Well, yeah, there's that," Lee stumbled over his words, "But we're friends, too. Right? I don't want to see those guys hurt you."

Gaara shifted uncomfortably. Even Naruto had yet to be so bold as to flat out call him a friend.

"That's good of you to say," he finally managed.

"It's true!"

"Hn…yes. I suppose it is."

Gaara scowls at his siblings as they try to stifle their snickering. They just couldn't help themselves, though. Their baby brother had come such a long way and they were so damn proud of him. When it came time to face the Akatsuki, they would relish every moment spent on knocking their fucking teeth out. Because nobody messed with their family. Nobody.

* * *

"For the last time, I don't have a clue about where he went," Anko argued with the Anbu at the door, looking far worse for the wear, "Maybe if you guys were doing your job, you'd have kept better tabs on him."

_You little idiot! What kind of stunt were you trying to pull? How did you just vanish in your condition?_

"Really, is this any way to treat a sick woman?" Kakashi drawled. The Anbu seemed ready to argue, but hesitantly took their leave when Kakashi glared coldly at them. No, today was not the day to try his patience.

Anko stepped aside from the doorway, a wordless invitation. Kakashi complied in kind.

"Tea?"

"Please," Kakashi replied, "Have a seat. I'll take care of it."

Anko stubbornly wanted to argue that she could do it herself, but decided it would be wise to swallow her pride on the matter. She knew this was hardly a social call. There was no sense in making matters any worse.

"You knew he was leaving," Kakashi set a mug before her.

"Yeah," the warm cup felt good in her hands, "Hell if I know what he's planning, though."

She couldn't explain it, but something inside her kept believing he was still alive. Not for long, but still alive.

"I see," a casual answer. It left room for her to speak freely.

"That boy's always hiding something," she continued, "And…"

A long silence.

"'And'?"

"Don't think he wanted anyone around. When he, you know?"

"Sounds like him," Kakashi swirled his tea about, "You didn't try to stop him?"

"There'd be no point," an oddly fond smile, "He kept doing everything for everybody else. Sought revenge for his dead family's sake. Tried to stay alive so a cure could be found for _my_ sake. Can't blame the kid for at least wantin' to die on his own terms."

Kakashi remembered the first time he saw Sasuke after all those years, pressing a knife to his own throat.

"…So that's what it was, huh?"

"Far as I can tell," she seemed to grow distant as she raised her mug with a trembling hand. Kakashi reached out, steadied her hold to let her drink.

"Hey," an unbearably solemn tone, "Would you be so good as to stop at the florist for me? I'd like to send something, since I can't go see Kurenai in person."

"…Of course."

* * *

As Kakashi took his leave, Naruto and Sakura arrived at the door. Their dark expressions, coupled with his lack of knowledge that the pair had made amends with Sasuke, left him firmly believing they had to be angrier than ever.

"Are you okay, Sensei?" Sakura was calm, controlled, and asking about more than one matter. This wasn't about just his wayward student's disappearance. It was no secret Kakashi and Asuma had been quite good friends.

"Well as could be expected," he replied in his usual, lazy way, "I heard about your victory in Water Country, by the way. I'm very proud of you, Sakura."

She smiled weakly, yet it still managed to remind him so very much of the young girl that was once his student. Well, still his student. Right, Gai?

She seemed uncomfortable with the praise, though. As if to say how wrong it seemed for someone at her age managed to help defeat an Akatsuki member, while Asuma—

"I did what I had to do," no boasting, no gloating, "I'm not going to let those people get to Naruto."

Naruto, in turn, looked decidedly bashful. They pointedly made the effort not to admit Sakura wouldn't have let anyone interfere in her mission to rescue Sasuke. Even though…Even though…

"You two should head home," Kakashi suddenly sounded very tired, "You're not going to find any closure here."

"It's not like that. I figured _he'd_ pull something like this," Naruto sounded bitter, older, "We just wanted to see if Anko was okay."

"She's had a rough past few hours. It might be better to let her rest now."

"Nonsense!" Anko appeared behind Kakashi, "They took the time to come here, so they're more than welcome to come in."

Kakashi simply nodded then before leaving.

The pair followed Anko inside and helped her settle on the couch, draping a blanket around her. The poor women looked like she hadn't slept since Sasuke went missing.

"I got the cure," Sakura blurted out, "So you're going to be okay."

"Ha! Knew I could count on you kids," Anko spoke what should have been words of relief, but mostly she sounded weary. She drew silent as she stared at the two, dressed in their funeral attire. Yes, this was a deep time of mourning. For more reasons than mere words could ever express.

"Sasuke," Naruto spoke in such an unnaturally grave tone for him, "Did he say anything? Before he…?"

"'Unfinished business.' So he said, anyway," Anko eased back in her seat.

"But Itachi _and_ Orochimaru are dead!" Naruto shouted, fists shaking at his sides, "What else could he possibly—"

"Naruto," Sakura gently touched his arm, "I don't think…He didn't want us to find the cure for _him_."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest the idea but the words were lost. He could only stare at Sakura with her head bowed and her face hidden behind her hair, still hiding from the world. She tried not to think about how Sasuke swore he would still be here when she got back. That she battled the Akatsuki just so she could come back to him. She felt Naruto's body sag under her hand.

"That punk…He must have planned this from the get-go," Anko signed. She would be healed, she'd fight again. But she couldn't rightly say she was happy this way.

"That bastard!" Naruto turned away from them, attempted to suppress his body's tremors in vain, "Why does he always try to do everything alone? We could have saved him!"

Sakura's breath hitched and sputtered as she tried to keep herself composed.

"It ain't 'cause he didn't believe in you guys," Anko replied softly, "I imagine he didn't believe _he_ was worth saving. All the forgiveness in the world could've made Sasuke forgive himself."

Naruto covered his mouth, certain he actually would throw up this time. How could he even be so arrogant as to call Sasuke his brother? He didn't understand the guy at all. Naruto couldn't understand how Sasuke could hate himself so much, not when Sasuke had been the victim all along.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were a team. Sasuke was supposed to get better, get pardoned, and the three would go on countless adventures together. No…make that four. Kakashi would be with them, too. It was going to be so perfect.

So perfect…

"Here," Anko pulled something out of her pocket, "Your bit of…closure, I guess."

Sakura's head shot up, tears that just wouldn't fall clinging to her eyelashes. She stared warily at the paper in Anko's hand. No, not just paper, a _letter_.

"This—For us—He—," too many thoughts fought for recognition as she cautiously took the letter. She willed her hands to be still as she opened it, holding it so that Naruto could read with her.

"_By the river, within the Nagano__Shrine, under the seventh tatami mat…"_

"Sorry," Naruto murmured, distracted, "We gotta go."

"Yes, yes. Of course. And naturally, I know nothing about anything."

_I will keep your secrets. In honor of my younger self, who still wishes she had someone who had done the same._

* * *

Temari was cool as ever on the outside, a ball of nerves within.

Despite her faith in her brothers, and in herself, those bastards in the Akatsuki were drawing far too close for comfort. She was no fool. No great battle was ever overcome without a plan. She'd be damned if she just sat around and waited for them to make a move against Gaara. It was time to take the initiative and formulate the best method of tearing that group apart.

It was just her luck that three young Leaf shinobi just killed an Akatsuki member.

Rumor had it that Sakura landed the killing blow, but she was off somewhere with Naruto. It was safe to say they were preoccupied with that missing Uchiha kid. Naruto, being the idiot that he was, didn't seem to care that his own life was in danger. He just wanted to find his (traitor?) friend.

There was Neji, a person she didn't know terribly well. He undoubtedly might have some keen insight, but she supposed that was a conversation that could wait. Especially when the last member of that fateful party was tied far more closely to the matters at hand. At least she knew for a fact how good of a tactician Shikamaru actually was.

And knowing him, she thought grimly, he had to be gunning for another shot at the Akatsuki by now.

She's been by his house in passing on occasion, but has never really visited before. Business or otherwise. But she arrived at his home to find his father seated on the porch, a shougi board before him.

She opened her mouth to ask for Shikamaru's whereabouts, but Shikaku beat her to it.

"Do you play?" he gestured to the half-played game.

"…I'm a fair hand at it, I suppose," she answered uneasily. He motioned for her to sit across from him and she complied with as much composure as she could manage.

They didn't speak much. There was only the clack of tiles against the board, the wind chime ringing in the breeze, the rustle of trees.

Temari paused to calculate her next move. It figured Shikamaru's father would be a strong opponent at such things. She hesitated for another moment before committing to the attack.

Shikaku leaned back, evidently surprised by her decision.

"Hmm…'Climbing Silver,' eh?"

"Sometimes sacrifices are necessary, in order to protect the King from enemies with more power," she answered blandly, as if quoting from a manual.

Shikaku, being the strong ninja he was, knew to read between her words for the real meaning. He made his next move.

"Which begs the question," click, "Who do you suppose is the real King?"

"That's obvious," Temari stared off into the distance; she could make out the Hokage monument from here, "The next generation. Those who will rise up to bear the burden of their village on their shoulders."

"You're a rather wise young lady—Oh! Checkmate," she scowled at the board now that she'd lost, "You're not strong enough to protect the King just yet. Keep at it!"

She was muttering curses under her breath as she rose to smooth the wrinkled out of her clothes.

"Though I must admit," Shikaku looked decidedly impressed, "Shikamaru's certainly met his match in you."

Temari managed a polite, tight smile in return.

Finally she slipped inside, up the stairs, to his room. She didn't knock and wasn't surprised to find it to be a complete mess. Though she couldn't decide whether it was laziness or apathy that left it in such a state.

She didn't contemplate it very long after she spotted Shikamaru asleep on his futon, still in funeral black. Instinct overrode any concept of ration or tact as she marched right over to his side.

"Hey!" she snapped, "Get up, already!"

He didn't stir. Not even so much as a muscle twitched. She fumed over the idea of a ninja sleeping so deeply. And here she thought all Anbu woke up at the sound of a door opening.

"C'mon, you lazy asshole! Now is _not_ the time to waste your time sleeping," no response, "Wake up!"

As he lay motionless, a bit of anxiety began to settle in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn't right here. She crouched down and gave his shoulder a good shake.

"Shikamaru," she knew she was being loud. She knew he should have woken up. "Hey! Shikamaru!"

He was clammy to the touch. A fever, perhaps?

_You fucking idiot! Don't you look after yourself at all?_

"Goddamn it, Shikamaru," she shook harder, "Wake. _Up!_"

A spent pill bottle rolled away from his lax hand. Her eyes went wide, unbelieving, as she fell on her backside. She tried to steady her breathing, tried to keep herself from reacting to her body's growing sense of panic.

"What did you do?" she whispered, clambering back to her knees, reached out to shake him again, "What did you do to yourself!"

His eyelids fluttered briefly, a groggy sound, before he went under again. It's only now that Temari channeled her emotions into what she knew best. Anger replaced the fear and she hauled him to his feet. His body was slack in her arms and it was cumbersome to haul his taller body down the hall. To the bathroom. Into the shower stall.

She dumped him on the ground, his back propped against the side, as she turned on ice cold water at full blast. Finally his body showed some real movement as it spasmed from the shock. He weakly raised an arm to shield himself from the torrent, a purely instinctive reaction, and slumped in on himself. Temari just stared down at him with narrowed eyes, arms crossed. She just let him sit there shivering, until his body slid down and unconsciousness seemed to grip him once more.

"Oh no, you don't," she snarled. She hoisted him up by the front of his shirt to make him sit up, before slapping him soundly across the face.

"Wake up!" she screamed and smacked him again, "Don't you _dare_ try to run away!"

His fingers feebly encircled her wrist, trying futilely to make her relent her hold. Instead, she tightened her grip. And finally, _finally_, he looked at her through bleary eyes.

"Late," he rasped, almost too softly to hear over the rushing water, "I was to late to save someone I cared about…Again…"

Her eyes softened ever so slightly. Her hold did not.

"Ironic, isn't it?" a brittle excuse for a laugh, "That this happened while I was trying to save Sasuke. And I _still_ couldn't even do that."

"No. You haven't," Temari's small bit of sympathy drained away, "You were too busy lying around in a drug haze feeling sorry for yourself."

He narrowed his eyes at her, a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue. But his eyes were too unfocused to appear threatening, his brain too muddled to string together much of anything.

"What did you think you would gain from this?" she snarled, "Do you think Chouji would be happy to see you like this? Or your teacher?"

"Don't. Don't talk like you know what I'm going through," he snapped back, "Why are you even **here**?"

"Unlike you, I still plan on doing my job. Evidently it was a mistake to think you'd be of any use."

"None of this is even your business. There's no reason for you to get involved—"

"Not my business?!" she slammed him hard against the tile, "Did you manage to kill every last brain cell in that skull of yours? The Akatsuki are after Gaara!"

Shikamaru grew very quiet as they both shivered beneath the freezing water. There was only the sound of the running jet, her ragged breathing. Temari wouldn't even look at him now, shoulders shaking undoubtedly from rage.

"You," her voice was low, dangerous, "Sakura. That Hyuuga. You guys managed to kill one of those guys. And I stupidly made the assumption I could count on you. That my _brother_ could count on you."

"It doesn't make any sense," he murmured, drawing her eyes to him again, "We were up in those mountains meeting with this woman who knew how to cure Sasuke…If the Akatsuki are after people with dem—people like Gaara, what the hell were they doing up there?"

"Genius, my ass," she spat, "Isn't it obvious?"

All she got was a blank stare in return.

"That punk of an Uchiha killed his brother. An Akatsuki member. Did you honestly think they'd just let him get better?"

Shikamaru was certain he'd never felt like such a fool in all his life. How could he not have noticed this all before…

"And it's awfully convenient," she continued, venom in her voice, "That a guy that's supposedly bedridden just got up and disappeared during the same timeframe as both Akatsuki attacks."

"I don't friggin' believe it," Shikamaru leaned his head back against the wall. He was getting one hell of a migraine. "He didn't leave. He was _abducted_."

"Need I remind you who his good friend happens to be?"

His head snapped up.

"…Naruto!"

"Don't you get it? Uchiha, Naruto, my brother, your teacher's death, the ambush in the mountains…They're all connected!"

All he could do now was hide his face behind his hands, overwhelmed by sobs. He hoped to god the shower was loud enough to drown out his sounds. He didn't want to be like this in front of her again.

"So that's it?" she sneered, "You're just gonna sit there and cry about it? I was better off leaving you on the floor to rot."

"Maybe you should have," his voice grew faint, "You've got it all figured out so it's not like you need me for anything."

"Oh, get over yourself already. We've got a lot of work left."

"And what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Finish your damn mission, you idiot!" she grew exasperated, "Uchiha still needs saving. And I **know** you're not about to let your teacher's killer walk free, now are you?"

"But if _Asuma_ couldn't even beat this guy—"

"Your team just killed one of 'em. I'd say the odds are in our favor."

Shikamaru finally looked at Temari, really looked. She was soaking wet like a lost cat in the rain, yet still managed to appear intimidating as she loomed over him.

"You're serious," he seemed in awe of her, "About taking the Akatsuki head-on."

"I won't let them get to Gaara. My family is everything to me."

"Of all the people you could ask, why are you putting your brother's life in my hands?"

"Even though you're a moron and a crybaby most of the time, I know a _real_ genius when I see one," she had such a strong, determined look on her face, "That mind of yours is gonna save a lot of lives."

How, he wondered, did such an extraordinary person wind up so lonely?

It was then Temari's turn to be surprised as Shikamaru suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist. She was caught completely off-guard, off-balance, and had no choice but to cling back. The two held each other and let the water pour down, forcing them to draw closer in search of warmth.

"I'm not Ino," she said hotly, her words lacking the bite she hoped for.

"True," a weak laugh, "She stopped yelling at me a long time ago."

"That's a shame," Temari focused her attention at an unparticular spot on the wall.

"After…the Mission," he swallowed thickly, hiding his face against her neck, "I was all she really had. Guess she thought if she pushed too hard, she'd lose me, too."

"Even though you've been poisoning yourself?"

His arms grew even tighter around her, fingernails digging into her back. Just as she thought…those pills weren't a new habit.

"I didn't expect things to turn out this way," he admitted. Temari wondered if he was going to start crying again.

"C'mon," she turned the faucet off, "There's a lot of people in need of saving."

She rose to her feet and gave him a rather pointed look. All he could focus on was water dripping from her hair, the way her clothes stuck tightly to her skin. He flushed red and looked away out of sheer embarrassment.

"…yeah."

She sighed and stuck her hand out, not making eye contact with him. Awkwardly, he reached out for her and let her pull him up.

* * *

The sun was setting over the Nagano River, coloring it as flowing blood, as Naruto and Sakura ran through the tall grass. Naruto came up short, pausing to sniff out the air.

"There's blood here."

Sakura frowned with worry as she glanced at the crimson river.

The inside of the Nagano Shrine held a musty, disused scent and made the pair inexplicably nervous. The counted the mats softly as they crossed each one until they reached the seventh. Sakura bent down to move it, expecting to need her strength, but it slid away with ease to reveal a staircase.

_Oh Sasuke-kun…What was your family trying to hide?_

They descended the cold stone steps in silence, in darkness. Only their hands running along the wall as their guides. They were forced to cover their eyes when they reached the bottom, lit with torches. These torches were set at an altar: the Fire Shrine. And in plain view on this altar were two scrolls. With shaky breath, they nodded at one another and each chose a scroll to open.

"A map?" Naruto stared down in confusion. He didn't recognize the area one bit. He didn't get a chance to study it any further after Sakura's loud gasp stole his attention. Tears glistened in the firelight, her hands shook violently.

"Sasuke-kun…"

Naruto glanced over at her scroll and was positively dumbfounded.

"This—This is—"

Sakura nodded, as she kept crying and grinning all at once.

"I can't believe I didn't put it all together before," she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, "It must have been so dangerous for him to obtain this information."

"And it's exactly why he disappeared! He was in trouble all this time and he never said a goddamn thing!" Naruto was caught between an odd mixture of severe anxiety and gratitude. In his hand was the Holy Grail of information: a detailed list of the Akatsuki members. And the other scroll was a map leading directly to them in Three River Country.

"That crazy son of a bitch," Naruto choked back a sob, "I'm totally kicking his ass after we save him."

* * *

"_Commit this to memory."_

"_What good will this be? Being the way I am now…"_

"_Surrendering already?"_

"_No!" then quieter, "No. But realistically—"_

"_You're not dead yet, so don't act like it."_

_He didn't respond this time. There was no point in arguing, no matter how he felt about the situation at hand._

"_Don't think about how to slay the beast. Concentrate on how to clip its claws."_

_Think of how to kill at least one of them._

_A small smile followed. Yes, he thought, perhaps my luck will hold out. Just long enough to face **one** and still…_

_Well, at least kill one. No sense in getting greedy now. He should at least be grateful for any small bit of time he had left._

To be continued…


	19. Ch 19: We Merry Few

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 19: We Merry Few

The euphoria wore off.

"Tsunade-shish—The Hokage isn't going to sanction this kind of mission," Sakura spoke gravely from within the Nagano Shrine, "Especially not with you on board for it."

Naruto gave a vague nod to show he was still listening, eyes scanning over the information Sasuke left behind on the Akatsuki. The more he read, the more dread filled his being.

"She'd probably send jounin and Anbu squads," Sakura added almost as an afterthought.

"And we all know how well _that_ turned out," Naruto spat, the death of Asuma fresh in his mind. Somehow the blood felt heavy on his own hands. It was his damn fight! Why the hell did a guy like Asuma have to go get killed because of him—

"This is different, Naruto," she tried to speak in a soothing voice, though her own nerves were ragged, "This is bigger than anything we've ever done. You know the two of us aren't enough. One _squad_ isn't enough. This is the Akatsuki we're talking about, for god's sake!"

"You think I don't know that!"

He couldn't help but be short with her. He knew better than anyone what they were up against. He could even feel the fox's displeasure in his subconscious, disgusted with the idea of trading one prison for another.

Sakura slumped to the floor looking absolutely dejected. Like she lost hope. Like she was giving up.

"We won't even be able to use the _pretense_ of a mission, you know? We're just going to have to leave. Sneak out of here like criminals…"

_Like Sasuke, all those years ago._

"What?" he snapped, "You don't think we can pull this off?"

_You don't think the others will help?_

"We have to ask people to possibly _die_ for this!" she shouted, drawing her eyes on him like knives, "And for someone most still call a traitor, no less! I doubt their loyalty will go that far, Naruto…"

Naruto swore something broke inside him. Was this really Sakura-chan? He knew these years had been hard on her. But to have changed this much? To have lost her faith in her fellow shinobi this much?

"Will it stop you from asking them?" Naruto spoke softly, "Even if it's a one in a million shot, are you too afraid to ask the others?"

"How many times?" she whispered, her hands wound tight in her hair, "How man times have we tried to save him and failed? No one else even cares about Sasuke-kun the way we do. Do you honestly think everyone's going to jump at the chance to try again?"

Point taken. Considering Sasuke may already be—

"And if they say no?" Naruto sank to the ground next to her, looking her in the eye with a grim expression on his face, "Will that keep you from going after Sasuke?"

She gave a weak, brittle laugh as she pondered his words.

"No," she realized, "I guess it wouldn't."

"Well, that settles it," Naruto clung to the bit of confidence he gained back, "If we're crazy enough to chase down the Akatsuki just to bring Sasuke back, asking everybody else to do the same should be a walk in the park!"

Sakura smiled, truly smiled, at his words. Crazy was certainly the right word for the stunt they were about to pull.

"I—I could talk to the Sand siblings. Shouldn't be too hard to get them to agree," she decided, willing her hands to stop trembling, "And Hinata could help me with the cure…"

"I'll talk to Hinata," Naruto blurted out, catching Sakura by surprise, "Err…Well, I can't have you running around doing all the work. It'll look suspicious."

Sakura's face softened. There was no point in debating this with Naruto. It was plain as day why he felt the need to go himself.

"Don't worry, Naruto. Hinata's not the sort of person to hold a grudge."

Judging from his wide-eyed look, she'd hit the nail on the head. He was still feeling guilty for the way he treated Hinata the day they found out Sasuke had been back in Konoha. Besides, Sakura mused to herself, maybe it was better this way. Granted Hinata would probably agree to help if she asked, but having Naruto do this was a surefire guarantee.

She rose to her feet and dusted herself off before extending a hand to Naruto. Once she hauled him to his feet, she kept a tight grip on his hand.

"Well, here's to loyalty."

Naruto gave his best fox grin in return.

"To loyalty."

* * *

Shikamaru sat in a chair, hair loose and damp, watching Temari systematically pull apart and reorganize his room. Every now and then she made a sound of disgust after finding more pill bottles, mostly empty ones, stashed in drawers. Some were in the bottom of his closet, even. In some ways it wasn't so unlike an Anbu raid to him, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Even if he had anything worth saying, her dark expression chased the words from his mind. His brain, being in the state it was, thought it odd to see her hair pulled back into one messy knot while it dried.

_What _would_ you think of me now, Chouji? Being looked after by a woman, like this…_

Strangely, he felt like Chouji was probably smiling somewhere. Smiling at the knowledge that his friend just might be climbing out of the darkness at last.

* * *

Sakura knocked anxiously at the hotel door before wrapping her arms around herself to stave off the evening chill. She knew how odd this must seem; she never came around here. And she was startled even further when Kankurou opened the door without any of his usual make-up on. He merely raised an eyebrow at her, not remotely sure what could have brought her around this place.

"Um…Is Temari-san available?"

"She's not here," a rather closed response.

"Oh—okay. Could you tell her I came by, maybe?"

"What's this about?" he leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed, "I don't remember you two ever being buddy-buddy."

"Well…" Sakura trailed off. True, she didn't know Temari particularly well. But she knew Kankurou even less. It made it that much harder to ask for the help she needed from them. Kankurou just rolled his eyes at her.

"Are you gonna come in or do you plan on hovering in the doorway all night?"

She blinked in surprise before hesitantly accepting his invitation. The hotel room looked so…lived in. She vaguely wondered why the three didn't just get an apartment, all while scanning her surroundings.

"Gaara's not here, either. If that's what you're worried about."

There'd been a certain defensive note behind his words.

"It was," she answered bluntly, "Because I have a favor to ask, and it's probably best if he doesn't hear it."

"Oh?" Kankurou sounded equal parts curious and suspicious at the idea.

"Naruto and I…We need Temari-san's help. And yours."

"Depends on what you're asking for."

Her voice could barely carry the words out of her mouth. It seemed even more frightening a prospect now that she was here with someone who wasn't Naruto, talking about their intentions.

"We're going after the Akatsuki."

Kankurou took a step back, eyes wide with pinpoint pupils.

"How the hell do you plan on doing _that_?"

A faint, wistful and sad smile crossed her features.

"A good friend gave us a little gift before he left."

_Disappeared._

It wasn't that hard for Kankurou to figure out she meant that Uchiha kid. And wasn't that brother he killed an Akatsuki member? Well. This made her sudden visit make a lot more sense now.

"You're nuts, you know," he sneered, while Sakura looked disappointed, "If you think Gaara will stay out of this."

Her head snapped up to finally face him; his usual smirk was in place. And somehow, somehow, the weight against her shoulders suddenly felt a bit lighter.

"And if you're gonna scour the village looking for my sister, your best bet is to try finding Shikamaru."

"Shikamaru?" she echoed. Sure, she heard the rumors now and then. But she was also pretty sure Shikamaru and Ino were…Did Ino know about all this?

She mentally shook her head. She didn't have time to contemplate what it all meant right now. There were much bigger issues at stake right now.

"I—Thank you. I'll check his place," she finally replied, vaguely wondering if she was a hypocrite. Asking Shikamaru to go after the Akatsuki was a blatant request for revenge on his part. The very thing they tried to keep Sasuke from all those years ago.

She left the hotel with the strange sense that everything that had happened until now might have had a purpose, after all.

To prepare them all for this very moment.

For this very mission.

* * *

Naruto shuffled home with heavy feet. There were people he should be seeing, things he should be asking of them. He didn't have time to come home and dwell on this mess. But here he was. He slipped inside and leaned against the shut door at his back. Had he ever felt so drained before?

What happened to that loudmouth kid that wasn't afraid of anything? Since when did he let that pesky little thing called "logic" drag him down?

Maybe he was getting old…

He remained in place in silence, in darkness. Somehow a defeat that hadn't even happened yet was leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Or maybe it was the memory of losing. Losing Sasuke. Again.

With a long sigh, he reached for the light switch. Across the room, Gaara stared back.

"Gah!" Naruto nearly fell over in shock, "You've gotta stop doing that!"

Gaara simply maintained his cold silence.

"Err…Why are you here?"

"You're up to something."

Naruto swallowed thickly. Was this guy a psychic?

All he could manage at first was a nervous laugh in response.

"What makes you think that?"

"Uchiha is missing. Undoubtedly you plan to go after him."

"I—I don't even know where to start. I mean, I'm not even sure he's still—"

"You're also a terrible liar."

Naruto rubbed at the back of his neck. Nothing seemed to get by Gaara.

"Look, it's my problem. You don't have to worry about it," he played it casual.

"We are…friends, are we not?"

Even though Gaara's face was impassive as always, Naruto's eyes became impossibly wide. He knew damn well what it took for Gaara to admit something like that. Never in all his years did he dare hope to actually hear those words spoken aloud by this person. It warmed him with a feeling that had been absent for far too long: hope.

"Of course!" Naruto answered with a grin, a real one, "Of course, we're friends!"

"Then I will go with you."

"You can't!" Naruto was quick to respond, that messy thing called logic getting to him again, "What, with you about to become Kazekage, and all. You can't just go running off on rogue missions, right?"

He wasn't going to risk hoping _too_ much. He couldn't take it.

"Who has him?"

"Wha—?"

"Uchiha," Gaara gave him a fierce glare, "He didn't just vanish into thin air. Who captured him?"

Gaara was right, after all. Naruto was indeed a terrible liar. No sense even trying now.

"The Akatsuki," he murmured, lowering his eyes.

He expected Gaara to lose his temper over that admission. For Naruto, of all people, to try and hide this had to be the greatest insult. When the silence dragged on, when Naruto couldn't bear it any longer, he finally forced himself to look at Gaara again. Oddly enough, Gaara seemed…serene.

"How could I dare call myself Kazekage if I cannot save even this one person? If I am too afraid to face my own enemies?" he paused, collecting his thoughts, "This is just as much my fight as it is yours. And we'll face it together."

Naruto could feel the telltale sting at the back of his eyes. Of course. _Of course_ Gaara needed to do this. He was the only other person in Naruto's life that really understood him. Knew what it meant to live as a jinchuuriki. Naruto himself was determined to become Hokage, yet he was still willing to risk it all. For one fight. For one person.

"Okay," Naruto's voice was shaky, somber even as he extended his hand, "Together, then."

Gaara stared intently at the outstretched hand. This was different than his sister reaching for him, and somehow that much more awkward for him. There was the subtle shift of sand curling, pushing his arm up. He reached out and shook Naruto's hand, sealing the deal. This bond was thicker than even blood. This was the solidarity of two souls knowing one another perfectly. Gaara wondered, considering this was to be the most dangerous mission they would even embark upon, if he ever felt as calm as he did at this moment.

And Naruto finally remembered why he never heeded to that silly "logic" thing before. He was the number one ninja at surprising people. And he had a few people in this village to surprise tonight with one simple question.

_Will you help a friend in need?_

Even if they all thought Sasuke a traitor, he was at his core still a Leaf. One of their own. And he was definitely in need of saving.

One more time.

* * *

Lee found himself before the gates of the Hyuuga Estate, carefully planning his words. The guard on duty did not seem to be particularly thrilled over Lee's arrival.

"I apologize for the late hour," when all else failed when dealing with the Hyuuga, be ridiculously formal, "But it is of great importance that I speak with Neji. I understand he is consumed with preparations for his marriage—"

The guard went in search of Neji just to avoid Lee's incessant rambling, leaving him alone in the courtyard. He tried not to fidget or pace, lest he give away his nervousness. He tried to focus on the moonlight reflecting against the koi pond. If he concentrated hard enough, he could make out the fish swimming through the dark water.

"I trust you have a good reason for coming here this late," Neji spoke blandly, the vaguest hint of irritation.

"I don't know if it's good reason, but it _is_ something you should hear," Lee was oddly serious. That was enough to raise red flags in Neji's mind.

"Is there a mission?"

Lee sighed heavily. Suddenly this didn't seem as easy as he thought it would be. He limited the movement of his mouth in case anyone was watching, considering this was the Hyuuga grounds he was standing on. Neji closed his eyes as he processed the information. After everything that happened in Water Country, he should have expected this.

That woman had been right. There was a lot they didn't know about.

"Who else is aware of this?"

"The Sand siblings."

A very long pause.

"That's it?"

"Err…as far as I know."

"…Go home for now and make sure no one sees you. We'll meet up later."

Out of sight, Hinata leaned against the side of the building with both hands covering her mouth. The world seemed to shift on its axis and she wondered if she had ever been so afraid before. And it wasn't even her own life she feared for.

* * *

Naruto paced back and forth before the looming gates of the Hyuuga Estate. For some reason, he was absolutely terrified to be here. It wasn't as if he would be particularly upset if Neji had to decline the mission. Granted, it wouldn't bode well in the big scheme of things, but Naruto understood that it just might not be something feasible for even Neji to pull off. Considering he had the ridiculous marriage approaching…

But the truth of the matter was that he was afraid to even _see_ Hinata.

He might have been adamant about it when he told Sakura of his plan. Now that he was actually here, his courage seemed to waver. He'd been so cold the last time they spoke and, well, a downright asshole about things. She, of course, had been right all along and really had been trying to help. Above all things, what he really owed her was an apology. Yet here he was looking to ask for a favor. A life-threatening favor. Could he really count on an apology to be enough to convince her to help? What if she thought he was just using her—

Damn it all!

The gates suddenly opened and Naruto pressed his back against the wall, hoping the side of a pillar would provide enough of a shield to keep him out of sight. He couldn't afford to get caught slinking around here, especially if it was someone important making a late call to the noble Hyuuga.

When the person exited, Naruto saw their expression to be a peculiar mixture of anxiety and relief all at once over whatever brought that person here. And Naruto allowed himself a small smile at that.

Undoubtedly Gaara had been by to inform Fuzzy Brows.

It seemed he had no business here now that Lee had come by. There was no sense in sticking around. Once Lee was out of sight, he figured it was safe enough for him to carry on his way. He turned down the street, hands jammed in his pockets while debating the next stop he should make.

"N…Naruto-kun?"

He spun fast on his heels to find Hinata standing in the middle of the road dressed in a white sleeping yukata with a dove gray over-robe thrown around her shoulders.

"Ah—hey," he spoke hesitantly, "I was just, um…"

Hinata kept her head down, worrying her fingers together nervously.

"I was—I mean, I didn't mean to overhear! But, I…"

"Fuzzy Brows didn't ask you?"

She gave a slight shake of the head.

"Oh…Well, you can come. I mean, if you want to," he stumbled over his words.

"I don't want to be a burden. If you don't need me—"

"I need you!" he blurted out, catching her by surprise, "We really need your help."

"Okay," she offered meekly.

"I mean it," he grew quiet, "You'd been right from the start, even though I'd been too damn stubborn to listen that day…"

"You were upset, so I can't blame you for getting angry with me," a weak smile, "It's okay now—"

"No, it's _not_ okay!" he interrupted her yet again, startling her, "You can get mad, too, you know? You shouldn't just let people talk down to you like that!"

"But you were so upset…"

"Bullshit! You didn't do anything wrong. I lashed out at you like some fuckin' spoiled brat, when you were one of the only people actually trying to _save_ Sasuke."

"Naruto-kun," she murmured, eyes threatening to water. This was rapidly becoming such a surreal moment for her. Standing here in the moonlight with Naruto as he spoke so openly with her. While she didn't need to hear his regret over that incident, she knew he must have felt badly about it, it warmed her heart to think he cared enough for her to actually have to say it. On top of the fact that he just told her he _needed_ her…

"I'm sorry!" he shouted and Hinata bit her lip to keep the tears back, "You stood up for what you believed in, and I made you cry for that. Just…don't ever change. 'Cause I don't want you to change. I—"

Naruto turned away from her, shoulders quivering, caught somewhere between anger and overwhelming regret. Cautiously, Hinata reached out and curled her fingers around his. She let her hair fall in front of her face to hide her blush as he faced her once again.

"I've already changed," she whispered, "I became a stronger person, a better person."

"Ah—yeah. You are a strong person," Naruto easily admitted.

"I—I learned that from you."

It was Naruto's turn to blush.

"We probably shouldn't stay here," Hinata conceded.

"Probably not," Naruto agreed, though neither moved, "You sure you're okay with this? Your family…"

"I'm not afraid."

_Not of them, at any rate._

"Really?"

"Yes. Because I know this is the right thing to do."

He laughed a little, finally relaxing.

"Can't argue with that."

They disappeared into the night, never noticing how their hands still lingered together.

* * *

Shikamaru finally opened the window after the third rock smacked against the glass. At least he could assume this sort of method to get his attention wouldn't entail an Anbu mission. He glanced out into the dark to see Sakura standing below. She offered a sheepish wave as a greeting but her serious expression led him to believe this wasn't a mere social call. He rolled his eyes and took a step back, leaving her room to leap to the window ledge. What else could happen today?

She opened her mouth to speak and was immediately shushed. With a jerk of the head, he gestured to the side. Sakura spotted Temari leaning against the wall, evidently asleep. She raised an appraising eyebrow as her eyes darted back and forth between Temari and Shikamaru.

Come to think of it, had she ever seen him with his hair down like this before?

"It's not what you think," he muttered, keeping his own gaze trained to the floor.

"I didn't say anything," she said breezily. She didn't come here to discuss his personal life. She forced herself not to think of the rumors she'd heard of Shikamaru and Temari. Or the rumors of Shikamaru and _Ino_.

But she did take note that this room, Shikamaru's room, was spotless. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, his skin ashen. As if he's been ill or upset, or perhaps both. No, she reconsidered, most likely both.

"Everything okay?" she asked casually, and only received a shrug in response.

He certainly wasn't making this any easier for her. Best to just get this over with, then.

"I won't ask you to go on another mission to save Sasuke-kun. But…"

"'But'?"

He knew he probably wasn't in any real shape to go on a mission at all. Even she had to see that.

"It's the Akatsuki that have him. So I figured that, umm, maybe you…?"

Well. Looked like Temari's theory had been dead on, after all. It did little to lighten his spirits, though.

"Got any info?" he spoke blandly, seemingly disinterested. Even Jiraiya was having trouble pinning these guys down.

"Everything."

He had to have misheard her. She was speaking so softly out of courtesy for Temari, and all.

"Excuse me?" he rasped, mouth suddenly dry.

"Names, locations, you name it."

"How—No. Don't answer that," he ran a hand through his hair, "Sasuke did his homework while tracking down his brother, huh?"

Sakura nodded gently as she reached into her pack to retrieve the two scrolls.

"I'm not trying to dump all the strategizing on you—"

"How much time do we have?" Shikamaru relieved her of the scrolls and cut right to the chase.

"I don't know," she was grim to admit, "Sasuke-kun may already be—That is to say, we can't guarantee they'll all be there."

Shikamaru made a sound of agreement, though it was a tough guess which part he intended it for.

"And our crew?"

"Still working on that…"

"…Did you ask Ino?"

"I hadn't planned on it," hadn't wanted to, "But we could use the help."

"Don't," he all but ordered, "If she's there, I…Just don't, okay?"

Sakura smiled weakly as she thought of Ino.

"She'll be pissed when she finds out."

"Ino doesn't get pissed these days."

"Hmm," Sakura grew thoughtful, "We must be thinking of two different people."

"We are."

Ino from our childhood, and Ino now that two of her loved ones were dead.

"Tell Naruto to be ready to leave tomorrow night. We'll need enough dark hours to get out without drawing suspicion."

"Thank you," Sakura whispered. Though even those words didn't seem to convey all she was feeling.

"Oh, go home already," Temari grumbled.

"You were awake?" Shikamaru shot her a dubious look while Sakura made a hasty exit.

"Of course, dumbass," she cracked one eye open, "I'm a ninja. Did you expect me to sleep through all that?"

She stood up and stretched until her back gave a satisfying pop.

"Let's get going."

"…Where?"

"The hotel. I'd rather my brothers be the only ones to listen in," she gestured towards the hall, towards his parents' room down the hall.

For some reason, she wanted to laugh and maybe even cry a little as he mumbled something about bossy women under his breath. Why was she so glad to hear him _complaining_ like he used to?

* * *

Temari unlocked the door to her hotel room and felt around for the light switch. Once she flicked it on, she and Shikamaru found Kankurou asleep on the couch. Temari chose to ignore the fact that he probably tried to stay awake until he knew she was back. Instead she knocked him off with a swift kick.

"Huh—Wha—"

"Go sleep in a bed like a normal person," she scolded.

"Oh, it's you," he sleepily rubbed at his eyes. Then spotted Shikamaru. His eyes shifted between him and Temari, taking in their appearances. Her hair was tied into a messy knot, her clothes appeared a touch damp. Shikamaru's own hair hung limply around his face.

"Heh, you brought a date back?"

Temari hauled him up by the back of his collar with a growl before shoving him towards the bedroom.

"We're here to _work_. Unless you fancy getting killed by the first Akatsuki you come across."

"Nah, that's okay," he gave a sleepy wave as he stumbled off to bed.

Temari muttered a string of curses under her breath as she cleared off the table to make some work space. Shikamaru stood by lamely with a raised eyebrow. The rumor mill was going to have a field day, no doubt.

Not that he'd be here to worry about it.

He unraveled the scrolls and the pair set into the daunting task ahead of them.

Save a dying man and kill the world's top criminals. What a pain in the ass…But as they studied the information before them, all the humor drained away. Daunting was an understatement. Shikamaru reviewed the information on the Akatsuki and bounced it off the report he'd seen of Asuma's…last mission. One of these guys was his killer, and he was fairly certain he'd narrowed down who it was.

"Temari?"

She nearly jumped from her seat, having been so intent on her work. She took the time to compose herself before turning around to face Gaara. She hadn't even known he was here. Or perhaps she'd just missed him coming in?

"Hey," she offered a fond smile, "Oh. Did you need some coffee?"

He nodded once and she slipped away to the kitchenette, leaving Gaara with Shikamaru. He chose to take up Temari's empty seat while Shikamaru remained hunched over his notes. That was, until he could no longer ignore the fact that Gaara was staring at him.

Finally he looked up, feeling decidedly uncomfortable.

"…Yes?"

"If you hurt my sister," Gaara spoke, while Shikamaru swallowed nervously and prepared to deny anything was going on, "She'll probably kill you."

"Ah—! Yeah, that's probably true," he conceded, "But I, um, we're not—"

"I don't care what you two do," Gaara remained impassive. Shikamaru mentally sighed over the conversation. Clearly he was missing something everyone else could plainly see.

Luckily for him, Temari returned with a tray of mugs.

"We don't have any milk," Temari commented before setting a cup before Shikamaru.

"Black is fine," he answered graciously.

"It better be," she grumbled, while Gaara took his mug and stood, "Not staying?"

"No. I'm sure you have things under control. I've my own things to think on."

"Of course," came her easy reply. She offered him another smile as she gave him a pat on the arm, earning a ghost of a smile in return.

Temari watched him leave as her happy expression faded.

"You're sure this plan will work?" she stared at the closed door Gaara had passed through, growing terribly solemn, "You're counting on a lot of uncertainties to pan out."

"No…These are the _only_ certainties."

Something between a snort and a laugh caught in her throat.

"And who says optimism is dead."

* * *

Dawn was creeping up fast on the horizon, the first rays catching dust motes as light shone through Naruto's window. He sat cross-legged on his bed, evidently watching the sunrise. Behind him, Sakura and Hinata were going through the various scrolls acquired in Water Country, scattering materials across the floor.

"She wasn't kidding when she said it was complex," Sakura muttered.

"But," Hinata spoke up shyly, "But we can still complete it, right?"

"I'd like to think so," Sakura answered crisply, pointedly ignoring the thought of whether or not they would even arrive in time.

Naruto said nothing to them, apparently meditating heavily on what was to come. As his back was to them, the girls could not see the picture frame clutched tightly in his hand.

* * *

It's another ordinary sunny day in Konoha and Ino was in her ordinary place behind the counter of the flower shop. Only she didn't feel ordinary. Normal. What have you.

Was this where she was supposed to be right now? It seemed so maddeningly…pointless. Standing around selling _flowers_ while Asuma was in the ground. While Chouji had long been in the ground. And everyone around her treated her as if she might wilt and die just like the pointless flowers around her.

_Some ninja I am…_

Glancing through the window, watching the world pass by without her, she spotted Temari walk by. Or rather, turn around and march through the door.

"Hi, Temari-san," her amicable greeting caught in her throat upon catching Temari's dark expression.

Heavy smudges about her eyes, tangled hair, sloppy clothes. She looked like she'd had a terrible night, no doubt.

"You knew, didn't you?" a cruel sort of smile twisted her lips, her mild tone chilled by her cold eyes, "You knew he had a problem, yet you did nothing."

"…I'm sorry?" confusion wrinkled Ino's face, understanding refusing to settle in her mind.

"That punk Shikamaru…found him half-dead yesterday with an empty pill bottle," Temari kept an air of indifference, "Surely you were privy to his…indulgences? Am I wrong?"

Ino felt her knees giving out and kept a white-knuckle grip on the counter, lest she collapse in front of _this_ woman.

"Is—Is Shika—He's okay, right?"

"It was too much effort for him to up and die," her bland tone didn't match the spark in her eyes.

Ino hung her head, letting her hair shadow her face.

"I tried talking to him about it. You know?" Ino sighed heavily, "But he said he was in control of things. And, stupid me, trusted him. He's supposed to be the smart one, right? I believed him enough not to argue about it, anyway…"

"Yup, that _was_ stupid of you," Temari agreed plainly. Ino would have retorted, but what would the point be? It was the truth, ugly as it might be.

"I seem to remember you used to nag him about _everything_," Temari continued, seemingly detached from the situation.

"He hated that," Ino admitted, "Complained about it constantly. And he's always so hard on himself these days, so—"

"'So'? There's nothing more useless than _doing_ nothing."

Ino drew a cold gaze on the other girl.

"And what would you have done differently?"

"Kicked his ass 'til I knocked some sense into him, flushed those pills down the drain, and kicked his ass again for good measure."

"Of course that would be your first reaction," Ino muttered, hurt feelings getting the better of her, "Why are you even bothering to get involved? Even you always say you're not friends."

An odd expression fluttered over Temari's features before smoothing into apathy again.

"Perhaps. But we _are_ allies. And it seems I do need his help for something, as it were."

"'Favors for favors,' huh? You're just using him—"

Temari's fist caught her square in the face, her hand taking a hold on Ino's shirt before she fell away.

"Don't you go comparing me to you," Temari hissed by her ear, "I don't leave a brother-in-arms to fall apart. I helped pick him up. Can you say for certain anybody'd depend on you when it mattered?"

Ino remembered a rainy anniversary and damp skin. He'd needed her then, she told herself, just as she had needed him. It wasn't about using one another or being a crutch or—

"Of course he knows he can count on me," Ino snapped, pressing a hand to her bruising face.

Temari's voice dropped to a whisper, all traces of venom strangely absent from her voice.

"Then why isn't he asking for you to help avenge your teacher's death?"

Ino grew very still, her heart lodged in her throat.

"He—," she croaked, "He's planning on—"

"Didn't hear about that, I take it?" Temari shoved off, causing Ino to stumble back a step.

"I'll go," she stated, "I'll help."

"And what can you do?"

"Would you rather I did nothing?" Ino crossed her arms, defiant.

_Touché._

Temari smirked. Hook, line, and sinker.

"Listen," Temari began, but the chime signaling a customer entering made her pause, "Have my order sent here."

She scribbled across a pad used for shipments before tearing off the sheet.

"Will you be able to have it arrive on time?"

"Of course," Ino felt her own lips curl into a smile, "We of the Yamanaka family have a reputation to uphold, after all!"

Temari rolled her eyes and gave a lazy wave as she departed.

She walked out into the sunshine, feeling decidedly smug and perhaps relieved that everything went far more smoothly than she'd anticipated. It wasn't as if she'd been genuinely angry with Ino. It was all part of the plan to ensure her commitment to the mission. Or so Temari told herself, at any rate.

She turned the corner and stopped short before walking smack into Shikamaru. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her, then proceeded on his way.

"There's no need," she called over her shoulder, "For you to go see her."

"Why is that?" he asked cautiously, pausing in his steps.

"Because I already placed the order for you, dummy," Temari replied, a wicked smile creeping across her mouth, "Ino says she'll have it ready by tonight."

"Ah—Good," the subtle shift of his shoulders relaxing, "Good."

Temari's features softened ever so slightly.

_The only certainties, indeed._

* * *

Tsunade pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose in hopes of stemming off her steadily building headache. This entire village…Akatsuki…Sasuke…Naruto…Sakura…

Everything was a bloody mess. How on god's green earth was she supposed to solve all of this?

A knock at her door never signaled anything good these days. Especially when her next appointment wasn't for another hour.

She sighed heavily, collecting herself. The world was going to keep pressing on whether she was ready for it or not.

"Enter."

She felt a minute sense of relief when Neji walked in. The most he could want was to drop off a report. No worries there. Though when Tenten followed closely behind him, she began to reassess her reasoning.

"And what might bring you two here?"

Tenten looked to be somewhere between anxious and awe struck standing before her idol. She exhaled a shaky breath, grasping at her bit of courage, before opening her mouth to speak.

"We wish to apply for a marriage license," Neji spoke bluntly.

Needless to say, it had been the absolute last thing Tsunade had been expecting to hear. If she ever expected to hear it at all. She was certain her jaw must have been hanging open over the sheer shock of it. These damn kids…And at a time like this. Oh, how she _hated_ getting dragged into clan politics.

"Have you two completely lost your minds?" she groused, "I'm sure you're more than aware of the Village's current situation. Considering both of your pending nuptials, you would dare throw internal clan conflicts into the mix?"

"We understand it places you in a difficult situation, Hokage-sama," Neji acknowledged, "But it is precisely these current events that have driven us to make this decision."

"…Oh?" she leaned forward, her chin resting against her fist. She was oddly curious what their line of thinking might be, provided they even thought this through.

"Tsunade-sama, please don't make me go through with an arranged marriage," Tenten pleaded not as a shinobi, but as a woman, "I am willing to fight and even die for Konoha. Once I marry, I will no longer be allowed to even exist as a ninja. At least allow me a marriage that will benefit more than one clan, but the entire village. Allow me to serve as your loyal soldier."

Love was ever Tsunade's weakness. She had no doubt Tenten would indeed fight. But she also knew to read underneath the underneath, as it were. This girl was in love and was more than willing to fight for that, too.

A half-remembered conversation with Gai trickled through her mind of the young lady on his team that dreamed of being as strong as the legendary Tsunade of the Sannin…

"In an ideal world, I would have no objection to performing your marriage," she paused to steel herself, getting the sense this was not what she became Hokage for, "But I cannot afford to cause any unrest within the Village if it can be avoided. I do recognize it isn't fair to either of you. However, it is a sacrifice I'm afraid I'll have to ask of you for the sake of stability."

"If I may be so bold," Neji's voice was smooth ice, "I fail to see the benefit in limiting ourselves from having able-bodied shinobi at the ready. Tenten being unable to fight once she is married off and I, as an Anbu member, cannot afford to be pulled away from my duties simply for a sham marriage."

"I am certain I can arrange for you both to remain on active duty until the situation is resolved," Tsunade countered. Damn, but if these kids weren't persistent…

"There is a strong possibility we will die, considering the enemy involved," Neji continued, "I would humbly ask to face that risk with at least peace of mind in return. Without regrets."

"'Regret'," Tsunade murmured, "And being denied this one thing would be your sole regret?"

"Yes, ma'am. Tenten is the only one who—" he paused, mulling over his words, "She has always been the one to make me a man without fear."

Tenten felt no shame as her face flushed while standing before the Hokage. She'd known Neji had cared for her, at least enough to save her dream to live as a ninja. But to hear him speak so frankly of his feelings. And before Tsunade-sama, no less.

Tsunade, however, kept her mouth shielded behind steepled hands to conceal the smile threatening to break free. These two were very, very convincing.

"I suppose it is a moot point to express the problems this will cause."

"If I were to be blunt about it, my family marries off its women to forge alliances with the other clans. I can't see how they have anything to lose by gaining ties to the noble Hyuuga."

"You do make a good argument. But the Hyuuga are unlikely to stay quiet on this matter. They are quite set in their ways and obsessive when it comes to maintaining the 'purity' of their blood."

"I am but a mere Branch member. It should not even be a concern to them," Neji noted, not without a small touch of bitterness still lingering, "And as a doctor, I am certain you can agree marrying of the same blood will only weaken the Clan in the end."

Tsunade was very tempted to call him a smartass. Even going out of his way to subtly flatter her medical mastery.

"Even so…" her eyes drew to the middle of his forehead, "Do you really think they will allow such defiance to go unpunished?"

Neji was bold enough to give a derisive snort at the thought.

"I am the most powerful in my generation. I doubt they would be so foolish as to jeopardize that," he grew oddly silent for a beat, perhaps not as certain as he'd like her to believe, "But, if I may be so daring to ask, would you allow them to _kill_ me over such a matter?"

_Oh, bloody hell…_

"Alright, I assume you brought rings with you?"

They each held one out; his late father's and her late mother's. Tsunade grumbled as she searched about for the proper paperwork. She sorely hoped to stumble upon some liquor, as well.

"Neither of you better make _me_ regret this, got it?" Tsunade did her best to intimidate them. Instead, she felt something give inside as Tenten's eyes began to mist up with gratitude. Neji stood by her side tall and proud. If their generation kept this kind of crap up, she might end up being foolish enough to hope again.

Upon exiting the Administrative Building, Neji and Tenten parted ways with casual goodbyes and different directions. No one would suspect a thing.

* * *

Nightfall was a heavy, living thing. It drew inky tentacles across the sky, covering both the moon and the stars. There was nothing but emptiness above Konoha tonight. And there were a select few who were supremely grateful for this.

Gratitude aside, Naruto was a veritable ball of nerves. He paced the length and width of the Nagano Shrine while wringing his hands together. Sakura was there with him, a steady presence as she always was, though now she stood to the side with Hinata and spoke in hushed tones. About the cure, he assumed.

The Sand Trio were the first to arrive and Naruto wasn't sure if he felt relieved they kept their word, or more afraid that they really were about to embark on such an insane mission. It took him a moment to realize the siblings had Shikamaru in tow and Naruto offered a weak smile. It comforted him to know they had Shikamaru's support, but seeing him in person only amplified the guilt Naruto felt over Asuma's death.

Deep breaths, Naruto reminded himself, don't go losing your nerve now.

"Well, here's what we came up with," Shikamaru's lazy drawl brought Naruto's attention back to the present, "Best we could do on short notice, and all."

Naruto read over the notes with disbelief. This was an excellent strategy. But.

"But we're not even sure everyone'll—"

"You can bet money it'll work," Shikamaru waved him off with a bored tone. Naruto seemed prepared to argue his case when something else caught his eye. Or rather, someone.

"Shino!" he called out, "How did…Man, I didn't think you would…"

"I made a promise to Kiba," Shino pushed his glasses up, "I have no intention of breaking that."

Naruto gave a surreptitious glance in Hinata's direction, before returning his focus to Shino with a sly grin.

"Who are you kidding? You just didn't wanna get left out of another fight!"

Shino gave a noncommittal grunt in response, though most likely rolled his eyes behind his dark shades.

Sakura exhaled heavily, blowing an errant strand of hair from her eyes. She'd been rather remiss as of late with tending to it. Perhaps she would get it cut when the mission was over.

_If I return…_

"Really, Forehead Girl, did you forget something?"

Sakura spun fast to find Ino staring back, complete with a spectacular black eye. It gave her pause enough to contemplate what Ino was implying.

"Honestly, I was afraid you would say 'no'," Sakura admitted, her eyes unintentionally drifting towards Shikamaru. Certainly he wouldn't have been the only reason Ino might have turned the mission down. But he was a large reason.

"As if I'd let you get ahead of me," Ino scoffed, feeling more like herself than she had in years. Perhaps because her childhood memories with Sakura had been happy ones. And conversations like this made it feel like time had never passed between them.

Sakura forced a laugh, surprised at how easily she could draw upon Ino's humor.

"Still chasing Sasuke-kun?"

Ino gave her a look as if to say who _wasn't_ doing just that on this mission.

"No, idiot. I'm going for Asuma-sensei."

No tears. No sadness. Only determination.

There would be no waiting at home for Yamanaka Ino. Not this time.

"Sorry we're late!" Lee panted out his greeting, no doubt having run all the way there. Tenten waved sheepishly as she followed him inside, Neji close after her.

"Shikamaru, you really are something else," Naruto remarked.

"Like you had any doubts," Shikamaru was quick to respond, "We're Leaf shinobi. We don't leave our brothers behind and we don't leave missions unfinished."

Strangely Ino was the one who felt most relieved by his words. It was like staring back through time and seeing the Shikamaru during their early years.

_Temari-san, you really did it._

Temari stood off to the side between her brothers, a smug expression gripping her features, as she contemplated the certainties of life. Here stood what Shikamaru called the "only certainties." Twelve souls, twelve motivations that brought them together. But it all boiled down to one mission. For one person.

Naruto stood before the others now and cleared his throat, his need to say something coming to the forefront once again.

"I know everybody's got their own reasons for agreeing to this mission," he stared into the sea of serious faces, growing uncomfortable, "And…and I wish I could say this'll be a piece of cake 'cause there's so many of us. But I think we all know these ain't ordinary ninja. We're taking on the Akatsuki. They've hurt and killed a lot of people we care about."

He gave pause, as if the weight of ghosts stilled his tongue for a moment. No, Naruto thought, people like Asuma will never be forgotten. Not by this group, at any rate.

"And I'm so pissed these guys are out there. I know they spend every waking moment waiting to capture people like me and Gaara. I don't even know what they want us for and I don't wanna know. But they'll never stop unless we get to 'em first."

There was a soft murmur of agreement rising through the group. It was Gaara's silent eyes that spoke the most to Naruto. Maybe the others could walk away from this, but he and Gaara would see this through to the end. No matter how it had to end. And even so…

"But none of this is why I'm going. They got Sasuke…I know most of you don't give a damn one way or another about him. Call him a traitor, a waste of time, makes no difference. But he's one who gathered all this info on the Akatsuki, even though he had to know the risks involved. And maybe this is a suicide mission for us. But if we somehow win…If we take out the Akatsuki, the world's gonna owe a huge debt to Uchiha Sasuke. I don't care how many times we've tried and failed to save him. I'll never abandon him. He's my best friend. So…so…"

Naruto let himself trail off awkwardly, well aware he'd been rambling. He just couldn't find the right words to express his thanks to his fellow shinobi for agreeing to this mission. Nor could he express his damn near obsession with wanting to save Sasuke. Sakura's hand on his arm dragged him away from his thoughts, unshed tears glistening in her fire-lit eyes. Embarrassed, he forced himself to look out into the crowd of intense faces.

"You're really going to do it," Shino stated.

"…What?" Naruto grasped lamely for comprehension.

"Become Hokage," Neji supplied.

Naruto's eyes couldn't have grown any wider as he studied the group surrounding him, and found that same belief staring back at him.

"Ha! _We all_ knew that I'm gonna be Hokage!"

* * *

Two figures moved within the cave, where the darkness was a heavy cloak and the damp air suffocating. Perhaps such conditions might have been a hindrance, if the pair was anything but what they were. Perhaps.

"Man, how long do we have to wait?"

"If you hadn't wasted so much time with that ritual of your, the leader could have assembled everyone by now."

"Blasphemy!" Hidan griped, "My prayers to Jashin are necessary! You're the one who held us up, 'cause you just _had_ to make that bounty hunting detour—"

"At least our group actually _requires_ money," Kakuzu pointed out, "And I seem to recall you being quite pleased with killing those monks."

"Yeah, well," Hidan paused to jerk open a heavy steel door, "Those heathens had it comin'. Since we were already there…"

Their conversation carried on after they dumped off their load and shut the door again, but the words were too muffled to make out. Said burden opened its bleary eyes to the thick blackness and tried to sit up. One hand felt at a chest wound, crudely bound with some sort of thick black stitching.

_Healed me just enough to keep me alive…_

Lying down once more, it grew apparent there was someone else in this cell.

"They caught you, too, huh?"

There was no response.

"…Are you alive?" a more cautiously spoken question.

"More or less," Sasuke rasped.

"So which one are you?"

"I'm not a—They're using me as bait," an awful cough followed, "You?"

"The Two-Tail. Nibi no Nekomata."

"No…I meant, who are you?"

"Yugito of the Cloud."

Long silence punctuated by raspy breath took up residence.

"I don't want to die," she whispered. Her night vision was excellent. She could see what poor shape this other person was in.

"You won't. When they come for me, no doubt they'll save you, too."

"How can you be so sure?" she forced herself to shift closer to him. It was so damn cold in this place… "Against those monsters, how can anyone win?"

_How, indeed._

"Because Naruto's the number one ninja at surprising people. And those bastards are going to regret underestimating him."

A wheezing breath caught in his throat and stole away any other words he might have said. He didn't expect this girl to understand. People like Naruto couldn't be put into words. He just hoped he could hold out just long enough to see that dead last idiot bust down the door.

He couldn't see in the dark prison, but he could sense Yugito's closeness, as well as her fear. She toyed with the prayer beads wrapped around her arm, trying to calm herself.

"…Will you pray with me?"

"I'm not religious," he admitted. Her trembling hand wound some of the strand through his fingers, the beads were still slick with blood. He gripped them tightly, for what else was there to do in this place? Her soft murmurings fell against his ears like gentle rain and he let it wash over him.

_"…in emptiness there is no matter, no sensation, recognition, volition or consciousness,_

_no eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, or mind, _

_no sight, sound, scent, taste, tangibles…"_

He concentrated on his memories of Naruto and Sakura's faces. It was the only belief he needed.

_"…no suffering, no cause of suffering,_

_no end of suffering, and no path,_

_no wisdom and no attainment_

_because there is nothing obtainable…"_

Sasuke gripped her hand tightly, the beads pressed tightly in their palms.

_I can breathe. I can think. I have hope._

* * *

_He often wondered where the necklace came from. It hadn't been mother's, though it likely would not have been worn if it had been. Perhaps it belonged to the medic woman._

_"A mercenary," came the response when his curiosity had grown too great, "She couldn't have been much older than you."_

_This naturally made him wonder what the other man's feelings towards this girl had been, to make him keep her jewelry._

_"Were you close?"_

_No sense dancing around the subject, not these days._

_"She was probably the only person I've met who hadn't cared about my name or reputation. There was little more to it than that."_

_He took that answer as a "yes."_

_"What happened to her?"_

_"Dead by now, I imagine."_

_The blood drained away from his face and he wondered why he should have suspected a different answer._

_"Circumstance forced her into a hard way of life. It was bound to happen, no matter how much she wanted to live. This," he touched the necklace, "Was given to me so that someone somewhere would know she lived. Seeing as she disappeared not long after the fact, I probably am the only person who ever knew she existed."_

_He, in turn, thought it must be a lonely existence to fear being forgotten more than dying._

_The necklace was pressed into his hand and he accepted it with a quizzical expression._

_"I wore this to remember a good person's struggle for the right to exist. Perhaps someday you will find someone to carry on this spark of life."_

_Odd, how quickly his mind conjured one young woman in particular to pass this necklace to. This single spark._

To be continued…

_A/N: The prayer Yugito says is an excerpt from the Buddhist "Heart Sutra"_


	20. Ch 20: Calling Out the Wolves

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch.20: Calling Out the Wolves

Kakashi was in dire need of a distraction.

He could well enough admit he was a flawed man. That fact didn't make it any easier to face it with so little to take his mind away from the thought. There was a "freeze" on missions, for want of a better word, that would take him far from the Village and force him to concentrate just on surviving. With the ever dominating threat of the Akatsuki, all Leaf shinobi were being kept close to home until they had a better grasp on exactly where said enemy was and what it was planning at present.

This left him far too much time to think.

There were the names of those he failed waiting on a cold slab of stone for him to visit. A widow unconsciously wondered if he could have saved her husband, had he been there. Two of his students were lost to him in all but body. The third was just _lost_.

Or dead.

Don't think it, he reminded himself.

There was only one person he could think of seeing right now that he could not be held accountable for. He couldn't be blamed for her condition, and she'd loathe any pity for it. If she could withstand her troubles, then he supposed he could do the same in her presence.

And thus he found himself at Anko's door this morning. He gave a firm knock and waited patiently for her answer. He knew it would take her some time. Minutes drifted by before he knocked again, louder, and wondered perhaps if she was resting. He leaned against the door, palm pressed against the wood and debated if he should leave, when the soft click of the door distracted him.

It was open?

Dread wormed its way through his blood as he cautiously made his way inside. All the while, his mind tried to rationalize what appeared to be an irrational oversight on Anko's part. Some part of him hoped that, perhaps, she left it unlocked on the rather improbable chance that Sasuke would return. It was better than assuming illness was chipping away at her reason. A shinobi who couldn't take the smallest of precautions, especially in times such as these, surely wouldn't—

He found her collapsed form lying in the hallway.

Kakashi rushed to her side, instantly feeling for a pulse. Fluttering softly, unsteadily, but still there. It was only then that he spotted the splotch of red staining her house coat. The fingers pressed against the side of her throat pulled the fabric aside with care to find a gash on her shoulder, reaching towards her collarbone. Nearby was the ever-present seal.

The curse was advancing.

It was a blur of time between crouching over her prone form to carrying her through the hospital entrance. All the while he tired to ignore a memory from four years ago when it had been a student he'd done this for. Just as it happened then, the nurses scurried around him in attempts to help their latest patient while he growled for someone to fetch the Hokage. She was the only chance Anko had. Even though it remained a dubious one.

Now he paced about Anko's hospital room, trying to ignore how her fair skin seemed to bleed into the white sheets and her dark hair looked like ink spilled across the pillow. His feet taped in rhythm with the beeps of the heart monitor.

"I've sent Shizune to fetch Hinata," Tsunade announced as she strode in, looking decidedly disheveled, "Jiraiya should be here shortly, as well."

The Hokage didn't look well. Her overdrawn appearance made Kakashi feel even more uneasy about the whole situation.

"Will it make a difference?" a rare blunt and bitter tone.

"Better than doing nothing," she muttered, bitter answer, "If only…"

She trailed off, realizing she didn't have the heart to speak the words. Not to him.

"If only," he echoed, evidently understanding her line of thought.

_If only Sasuke told them more._

Jiraiya chose this moment to make his appearance, walking in with a scroll in hand and expression grim.

"I can't make any guarantees," he spoke gruffly, as if he hadn't slept in days, "I studied the information intensely but even I might be unable to replicate that seal in a form that works."

"That complex?" Tsunade sneered, in too foul of a mood to avoid the chance to goad him.

"That _forbidden_."

"…Ah."

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune burst into the room, breathless, "Hinata—She's missing!"

"_Missing?_" Tsunade all but shouted.

"And not just her. Neji-kun is gone, too. The Hyuuga are in a panic!"

Jiraiya was muttering a string of curses as he unraveled the scroll next to Anko. As if they didn't have enough problems to deal with…

"Get Shikamaru down here," Tsunade growled, "I want the Anbu to sweep this entire Village. Nobody rests 'til we find out what's going on."

Shizune made to leave, until a voice held her in place.

"I'll go," Kakashi announced, "Your skills would be better served here."

"Kakashi-sempai," she murmured, looking to Tsunade for further orders. She received a vague nod as an answer.

Kakashi went through the motions of summoning and called upon his dog pack.

"Pakkun, find Shikamaru. The rest of you, Hinata and Neji of the Hyuuga are missing. Locate them."

The dogs scattered.

"I'm surprised you resorted to them _now_," Jiraiya commented, his words heavy.

"There wasn't a need until now. I think it's safe to say that we wouldn't find Sasuke unless he allowed it."

"Ah—true enough."

* * *

Pakkun arrived at the Nara home, where Shikato sat at his usual place on the porch. 

"Sorry, ol' friend. Shikamaru was gone when I got up at dawn. I assumed he had a mission…Not the case, huh?"

"Doesn't seem like it," Pakkun admitted, wishing Kakashi had explained a little more about what was going on. Aside from the fact that two Hyuuga kids were missing.

"Hmm, well that Temari girl from the Sand was here yesterday. She might know a thing or two."

Pakkun nodded and caught onto her scent before departing.

He followed it to the hotel, finding that Shikamaru's scent was there still. He had been here as recently as yesterday. He pawed at the door and called out to no avail. Nobody answered. He circled outside for any clues and found an open window to their room. He hopped up to the ledge and peered around inside.

"Hello? Shikamaru? Miss Temari?"

The place was empty, spotless. There was nothing to signify anyone was even staying here.

_They left._

Worry was starting to gnaw at him. Did Kakashi know they were gone, too? He tried to think of other places to check when Shikamaru's teammate Ino came to mind. The dash to the Yamanaka shop was a blur with no clues as to where everyone disappeared.

Inoshi scooped up Pakkun when he entered the flower shop and listened intently to the dog's story.

"Shikamaru hasn't been by lately, as far as I know. Ino left last night to make a special delivery and said she had training early this morning, so I haven't even seen her yet today."

Pakkun tried to ignore the mounting worry. He would just check the training grounds. Surely he would find Ino there.

He raced out the door and found Kakashi instead.

"Anything?" Kakashi asked.

"Shikamaru, the Sand siblings, Ino..."

"Kakashi! Is it true?" Gai called out, "Neji is missing, too?"

"Too'?"

"Lee!" Gai panted, "Vanished!"

"Miss Tenten's gone, too," a white dog appeared.

"I checked with Miss Hana of the Inuzuka Clan," a tan dog announced, "Miss Hinata left Akamaru in her care yesterday, saying she had some research project and couldn't look after him. None of the Inuzuka pups can find Shino, either."

"You've got to be kidding me," Kakashi muttered.

"What do you think happened to them?" Gai was strangely serious.

"They _happened_ to leave."

Kakashi stalked off, trying to fathom where they all were heading. In order to get that many people out of the Village without anyone noticing until now would have required genjutsu. And he knew damn well of one such young lady who was skilled enough to do just that.

_Sakura, you fool._

He just prayed that Naruto somehow wasn't involved in this mess, though that was likely wishful thinking on his part. But for Naruto to be out there somewhere with the Akatsuki on the move…

* * *

"Kakashi-san?" Iruka was seated at a table in the Academy teachers' lounge, "Tea?" 

"I'm afraid I don't have time to be social," he replied curtly.

"The rumors are true, then," Iruka grew solemn.

"So it would seem. I'm left trying to piece together what those kids are up to…I don't suppose you've seen Naruto lately?"

"Last night, actually. For ramen."

"Still treating him to dinner?" there might have been a weak smile behind his mask.

"Surprisingly, he treated _me_."

* * *

_The Previous Night_

"Thanks for meeting me on such short notice, Iruka-sensei."

"No trouble, at all!" Iruka spoke warmly, "Though I do wonder what the occasion is that you're offering to pay."

Naruto gave a tight-lipped smile in reply, worry lines creeping around his eyes.

"To say 'thank you'. Something I should've done a long time ago."

"For what?" Iruka inquired, still good-natured.

"All the support you've given me. Don't think I'd have made it very far in life, if it wasn't for you."

Iruka smiled, deeply touched that Naruto still thought so highly of him.

"You've always been capable of great things. I can't take much credit, save for maybe giving you a push in the right direction."

"I owe you a lot for that," Naruto remembered Gaara transformed into the monster within, remembered Sasuke overcome by the curse seal with wings and fangs and claws, "I promise I won't disappoint you."

"Naruto, I'm already proud of you. What more do you need to prove?"

"I'm gonna save the world."

No humor or smiles. Just cold determination.

"Of course!" Iruka tried to keep things light, though he had the odd sense something was weighing terribly on his student's mind, "Now is that before or after you become Hokage?"

Naruto gave his best fox grin, but said nothing further on the matter.

* * *

Kakashi made his way to Naruto's apartment with the conversation with Iruka replaying in his mind. Both teachers had been left wondering what Naruto had really been trying to say last night. The door was unlocked, as per usual, and Kakashi knew it would be empty when he entered. His prediction was correct, no Naruto to be found. There was only one thing out of place in his tiny home. 

On the kitchen table was a picture frame. A frame with _The Photo_ in it, of Team 7 all those years ago. Pinned beneath the frame was a note.

_"Gone to rescue Sasuke. I'll be back later."_

Kakashi crumpled it in his fist.

He lost them all.

* * *

News always spread fast in a shinobi village.

"Those reckless, stupid _brats_," Tsunade snarled, back to the others, arms wrapped around herself, "I should have known—I should have—Damn it!"

The side of her fist put a crater in the wall.

"I can send the dogs out," Kakashi offered in humbled, subdued tones, "Try and head them off before they do anything more foolish."

"They've probably got a good twelve hours on us by now," Jiraiya pointed out. He had Anko's shoulder exposed, a bandage over her wound, as he prepared to mark her with a seal that may or may not save her. "And I'm not sure you would be enough against twelve."

"Then I'll take a squad—"

"We don't _have_ a squad to send," Tsunade snapped, turning her angry eyes on him, "Our forces are sorely depleted, as is. Now with those kids traipsing off to god-knows-where, Konoha is extremely vulnerable."

"What should we do?" Shizune managed to speak up, cautiously, hesitantly, "If they should cross paths with the Akatsuki…"

"No doubt that's exactly what they intend to do," Tsunade spat.

And that, the others realized, was a likely truth.

"Well," Jiraiya cut through the lengthy silence, "I'm ready to proceed here…"

She gave a distracted nod to signal him on. She willed herself to maintain a clinical mind.

_You can only help those before you. Think of nothing else…Nothing else…_

Jiraiya bit his thumb and let the blood well up. The first touch of it against Anko's skin brought about a reaction he hadn't expected. Her hand shot up and caught his wrist, holding his hand away from her seal.

"What might you be doing, Jiraiya-sama?"

She had one eye cracked open and her mouth set in a deep scowl.

"Saving you, my dear. Or at least that was the plan."

"Don't you dare put that seal on me," she growled.

"Anko-san, please calm down," Shizune tried to mollify her, "You've grown very sick. The curse seal—"

"—Is killin' me. You think I don't know that?"

"I know you're upset," Tsunade sat on the edge of the bed, her medic spirit rising to the surface, "But we won't let you die."

"No. You'll drag it out for me like Sasuke, the poor bastard."

Kakashi seemed to flinch at the sound of his student's name, but he kept himself removed from the situation. He stood away from the hospital bed, leaning against the wall. They really were similar, Sasuke and Anko, with all that stubborn anger.

"If I gotta die, just leave me be. No prolongin' it. No seals to buy me some time," her voice grew softer, "I watched it eat him alive. I'll be damned if I gotta go through that."

Shizune opened her mouth to protest. So many people lost in such a short period of time…How much more could this village take? How much more could Tsunade handle?

"Well, if that's your wish," Tsunade rose stiffly.

"Thanks," Anko gave a weak, satisfied sort of grin, before settling deeper into the mattress, "Now…don't y'all have something better to do with your time?"

* * *

The bluff was not particularly note-worthy. Simply woods above an outcropping of rock overlooking a river. Beyond that was something a touch more interesting. A gateway of some scared significance to someone, surely, and a boulder marked by paper talisman. Shikamaru didn't bother checking the map again before rolling it up and sticking it in his back pocket. 

"Well, we know what we have to do," he spoke blandly, eleven other bodies appeared from the underbrush. He slid his Anbu mask over his face, replaced now by the features of a wolf on the hunt. "Let's get to work."

* * *

Yugito still held Sasuke's hand tightly, the only thing keeping her grounded. The only thing reminding her she wasn't alone. That the cavalry was on the way. Dripping water splashed somewhere in the darkness. It was so damn cold in here… 

"Are you still with me?" her soft voice seemed to roar through the silence. It didn't earn a response from Sasuke, though.

"Say something," she paused, felt her pride slide down her throat, "…please."

She was the strongest shinobi of the Cloud, second only to the Raikage, yet now she knew of true weakness. True fear. She let go of his bony hand and it dropped limply to his side.

"Hey, c'mon," she forced herself to her knees, grimacing all the while, and shook his shoulder, "Wake up."

The movement rolled him onto his back, head lolling like a doll.

"You have to wake up," she ordered (pleaded), touched under his nose to check for breath. She drew back sharply, fingers wet and warm. It smelled of primal things.

_Blood._

"You _have_ to wake up. Your friends are coming for you, aren't they? You can't just quit now. Wake _up_!"

She was shaking him harshly now, but to no avail. He would not rouse.

Her eyes burned.

"Don't leave me alone in here…"

Her mind repeated the shinobi code like a mantra. Shinobi do not cry. They show no emotion. Not even when she knew she was not strong enough to escape. Not even when she faced her own death.

* * *

"We have company," Zetsu's dark half spoke. 

"Nine from Konoha, three from the Sand," light.

"The Kyuubi and the Ichibi," dark.

"Then all is going according to plan," Shisui stated, "Let us proceed."

Shikamaru stood on the water, staring up at the clouds. It was a fine sight to see, and made him a touch nostalgic. When this was over, he very much wanted the chance to lie in the grass and watch the sky once more. Such a simple, trivial thing…but to take joy in the small things was what life was for. Enjoying the basics.

Chouji had taught him that.

No. That wasn't true. Chouji made him appreciate things more than Shikamaru even anticipated. He's always liked the sky and the clouds and hours spent with the warm sun on his face. But sharing those little things with someone else was what made living worth a damn.

"No doubt they already know we're here," Temari drawled.

It drew Shikamaru's head from the clouds.

"There's only so much stealth one can manage when infiltrating the stronghold of the world's worst criminals," he mused, suddenly recalling the splintered doors of the Sound.

"I never was much for stealth," she replied plainly.

Shikamaru restrained the urge to roll his eyes at her. That had to be the understatement of the year. Instead he focused on fishing an object from his pocket: a ring. Deidara's ring. He tuned it in his hand, studying the way the sunlight gleamed off its polished finish, before aiming it towards the boulder. Red light passed from the ring to the seal and the entrance to the cave opened itself.

_Knew this thing would come in handy._

"Well this is quite a treat," Kisame greeted from the threshold.

"Such flattery," Temari smirked, reaching around for her fan.

Kisame charged forward, moving far faster than one would expect for a man of his size. The pair held steady, unflinching, against the imminent onslaught. He raised Samehada for the kill, bloodlust running heady and strong through his very being, when the sword collided with a wall of sand. The impact was jarring, sent him reeling back with what might have been surprise.

"So the One-Tail _is_ here," he grinned viciously as he changed his grip on the sword. He prepared to lunge in with his next attack—

"Konoha Senpuu!"

—He met solidly with Lee's kick. He skidded across the water, sending ripples across its surface, never noticing not all the ripples were his own. Though one might say Kisame was not particularly a genjutsu type, anyway. He'd been far too preoccupied by how similar the guy who just kicked him looked suspiciously like that Konoha jounin who had managed the same a few years back.

This proved to be enough of a distraction for a ball, made of iron and spikes, to bounce towards his feet. He registered the explosion tag just before it detonated in a burst of kunai and fire. Naturally he countered with a shield of water to avoid any injuries.

When the smoke and the steam cleared away, Shikamaru and Temari were gone. And Kisame found himself surrounded. Lee directly in front of him, Tenten and Ino on either side, and Gaara behind him.

"Such clever children," his grin widened.

* * *

Shikamaru and Temari stood atop the bluff once more, watching the fight unfold below. 

"Well?" he cast a glance over his shoulder.

"How long do you plan on hiding?" Neji spoke in loud, clear tones.

"As expected from someone of the Hyuuga Clan," Zetsu appeared from within a tree. He seemed to take no notice of the insects climbing along the trunk.

* * *

The hologram of Zetsu appeared before Shisui. 

"There are four mice scurrying about the cave."

"Then perhaps we should take care of our kitty before she finds them."

* * *

_He is four years old._

_He is young, but still notices more than one might expect of someone his age. But in his home, that brilliance is already an expectation._

_"We are honored by your visit," his father speaks to a guest at the door. He peeks around the corner to get a better look at this visitor._

_"There's no need to be so formal," the other man spoke in warm tones, "I'm here to offer my congratulations, as your wife is with child again."_

_His mother stands behind him, her stomach just starting to round, and tries to usher him further inside._

_"Ah, and here is your son," the man smiled._

_"Yes. He starts at the Academy tomorrow," his father speaks these words proudly._

_"And so young," perhaps it was meant as a compliment, but the man's voice seems more subdued than before._

_He stares up at this man, light shining off his golden hair and brilliantly white coat. He thinks this person glows like the sun, somehow. He likes the idea._

_"This man carries the title of strongest in our village," his father explains, "Maybe someday you, too, will carry such a title."_

_The man seems to ignore this statement entirely, and focuses on the young boy standing before him instead._

_"Well, son, what would _you_ like to do when you grow up?"_

_No one has ever asked him this question before. Phrases about leading his Clan or becoming a police officer trickle through his mind, but never make their way to his tongue. Instead he glances past the man, outside, where there are two others standing. A teenage boy keeps a rigid stance; his left eye is covered. He knows of this person. He has the powers of the Clan, but was not part of the Clan…_

_With him is a girl with hair the color of fine wine and plum eyes. In her arms was a bundle he know realizes is a toddler._

_Her brother, if he wasn't mistaken?_

_His eyes drift to his mother's swollen belly._

_"I want to protect my brother."_

_His parents grow tense at his answer._

_"That," the man crouches down so they can see one another eye to eye, and places a hand on his little shoulder, "is an excellent dream. Follow that path, and you'll become a great man."_

_He woke with a start, returning to the world defined by endless darkness._

_"Bad dream?" a voice spoke to him, roughened by fever._

_"I was remembering the sun," he murmured, casting his forearm over eyes that didn't see a thing. As if to block out the pain of a light that shone too bright for its own good. A phantom pain, now._

_The other sat back, the words weighing far too heavily on his memory. He, too, remembered the sun. Different person, same legacy._

_"The sun," he muttered, a weary smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, "That was a good dream, then."_

_"Yes," he replied, "It was all a dream."_

To be continues…


	21. Ch 21: Rite of Passage

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 21: Rite of Passage

Tsunade escaped, spending time she didn't have, to stop being reminded she was the Hokage and just be a woman alone. She sat at home, curtains drawn, and pretended it was nightfall. Pretended she didn't feel guilty for this blatant weakness of character.

Her glass needed filling.

"It's not your fault."

She didn't startle. No, she rather expected this person would show up eventually.

"Hnn…Evidence rather points to the contrary."

"Then I am as much to blame," Jiraiya emerged from the shadows.

"Once more, we seem to find ourselves repeating our same mistakes," Tsunade drained her cup dry, "And we stand to lose everything all over again."

"Has my lady saved me even but a drop of her poison?"

Tsunade smiled weakly, bitterly, as she filled it once more. Of course he hadn't forgotten _that_, not that she expected him to…He reached over her shoulder for the drink, his rough palm ghosting over her hand as he relieved her of her glass.

"You know," he paused to down his liquor, "There hasn't been any rain. I could still track them…"

"_I know_," her voice strained. She didn't mention that he was standing too close, that she didn't want him to go. Not because she didn't want him to help those kids, but she selfishly feared losing him, as well.

_Nawaki, Dan, Sensei, Naruto, Sakura…Orochimaru…_

She did not think she could bear losing Jiraiya, the final link to her youth. Even Shizune's place in her life could not fill that void. They always say you know you've grown old when all that you've loved have gone before you…

His hands were on her shoulders, large and warm.

"Tsunade," he spoke her name firmly.

_Give the order._

She gave a soft nod, let her hair fall before her eyes. "…okay."

He slid her green jacket from her shoulders, his hands returning to massage her without the cloth in the way.

"I'll come back to you."

"As if I have any chance of ridding myself of you."

He laughed richly at her words. It sent shivers up her spine and she decided she was entirely too old for this.

"As if, Tsunade-hime," he echoed, "I am forever the jester of your court."

She reached for him blindly, ran her fingers along the back of his hand, while he grew very still. Far too many years seemed to keep words they meant to say far from their tongues.

"Jiraiya…"

"Oh, ye of little faith."

_Don't say your goodbyes, Tsunade._

"I'm sorry," she finally managed.

"I was teasing you," he answered lightly as he ignored her far-too-serious tone.

"Things should have been very different."

"Shh," he circled the pads of his thumbs against her collarbone, "Tell me when I get back."

Suddenly he felt like a foolish schoolboy as he pressed a kiss against the crown of her head. She abruptly turned in her chair to face him, but he was already gone. Just what she expected of him. She was slow in bringing herself back to the table, and then poured another drink. Her finger traced the rim of the cup, and for reasons unbeknownst to her, she recalled a conversation from her Academy days.

"A second-hand kiss…"

The liquor traveled smoothly down her throat. She blamed her warm belly on the burn of the drink.

_I've grown too old for this._

* * *

One would think a four-on-one were good odds to have in a fight. But that assumed that the one opponent was normal. They weren't particularly sure he was entirely human.

"It's almost insulting," Kisame commented as he deflected a barrage of Tenten's kunai with his sword, "That you would try to fight me on _water_."

He swung Samehada around, his aim for Gaara who stood by passively. The blade sliced through his middle as his body turned to sand.

_A bunshin._

The sand turned to mud in the water, earning a frown from Gaara. This probably wasn't the best match suited for him, considering the elements they utilized. But this was exactly what Shikamaru developed in his plan, and since Temari trusted him…

Lee charged in, using his speed to flow through a blurring series of combos. Unfortunately, none of them seemed to connect very well—

_An opening!_

His heel connected with Kisame's temple and slid through water.

"Bunshin!"

Kisame was bearing down on him now, closing in fast. Gaara sent his sand with the wave of his hand, only to watch it splash uselessly into the river.

"Don't bother," Kisame taunted, "Samehada _eats_ chakra!"

Lee braced himself for the hit. There wasn't enough time to counter or dodge.

"Lee!"

Kisame glanced up to see Tenten descending, sword in hand, ready to skewer him. He wheeled Samehada around with hopes of knocking her out of the air, when she landed gracefully on the blade. She wasted no time and charged headlong down the weapon. But all the shark did was grin at her. Tenten barely had a chance to react as Samehada broke free of its bindings and tore open the backs of her calves.

"And Samehada doesn't cut, it _shaves!_"

Tenten fell gracelessly to the side, at least avoiding further injury, and her weapon vanished in a puff of smoke. Lee managed to catch her before her body made impact with the water.

"Damn it!" she hissed.

"We have to get that sword away from him," Lee declared.

Gaara used Kisame's preoccupation with the pair in front of him as a chance to launch another attack. Sand snaked towards his ankle—

"Suiton! Suiryuudan no Jutsu!"

Wide-eyed, Gaara swept his sand shield into place as the water dragon sped forward. Water splashed against his face as the shield dropped away in muddy clumps. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Ino. She'd been keeping her distance since the fight began. And now she knelt on the water, her hands drawn in front of her body to form an odd triangular seal.

_That seal…She couldn't be—!_

Her body slouched forward.

"Ino!" Tenten cried out.

"What is that silly girl doing?" Kisame laughed.

"She missed!" Lee gasped.

Kisame wielded his sword with both hands, taking no notice of the glint of light striking wire. It wasn't until the Samehada's own handle lashed out and impaled his palms did he realize his mistake. He reacted blindly, jerking back with a roar while his sword embedded itself into the side of the cliff.

"You bitch!" he howled at Ino's slumped form, "What did you do?!"

"She disarmed you," Gaara replied blandly.

Kisame turned to face him with a snarl and narrowly dodged the sand reaching for his arm. It put him closer to Ino who, while remaining perfectly still and apparently unconscious, had strands of wire wrapped firmly around her balled fists. But he didn't have the chance to observe any further, for now Tenten stood before her. Knees shaking and blood flowing into the river, but she stood there, with a weapon scroll unraveled within her hands.

"You can barely stand, girl. What do you hope to accomplish against the likes of me?"

He tried to summon his sword, as he'd done a thousand times before, but it would not obey his call. It would not budge. And Tenten, she _grinned_.

"Don't even bother," a mockingly sweet voice, "Nobody has a stronger mind that Ino. She can bend anything to her will."

Kisame scowled deeply at her. And to think these little kunoichi weren't even the least of his concerns. He had the One-Tail to contend with. It would be a damn lot easier if he only had to _kill_ the guy. Capturing was far more tedious…

That was when he noticed the steam.

Lee stood with arms crossed, body crouched, as he seemed to amass a large amount of chakra.

"Shit," Kisame prepared to strike, "Suiton!—"

The shockwave drove him back.

"Sixth Gate: Open!"

The water was swept aside as if by the hand of god. Kisame had all but blinked but it was all the time Lee needed to disappear. Sand bore down from the left, a barrage of steel from the right.

_Explosive tags!_

Tenten's weapons hit Gaara's sand as Kisame went airborne, creating a spectacular blast of fire and metal and dirt. Kisame had leapt high enough to clear the attack, looking up just in time to see Lee lit a brilliant red.

"Asa Kujaku!"

An onslaught of flame and fist launched Kisame downward, his body crashing into the now-barren riverbed. Lee landed gracefully as he powered down, only to stumble forward with his next step. Gaara grabbed him by the arm none too gently, jarring his body back, but it kept Lee on his feet.

Kisame lay twitching in his crater, blood spilling over his lips, as he began to chuckle. Even as sand began to block out the sun.

"So this is the sort of darkness you knew," he murmured to himself, "I hope you won't mind the company, Itachi-san…?"

"Sabaku Sousou."

Tenten touched Ino's shoulder and the wire glowed bright, quick, before she jolted back into consciousness.

"You're crazy," Tenten chided playfully, her smile tight from the pain.

"Here," Ino took a look at Tenten's bloody legs, "Let me fix those."

"Not bad…huh?" Lee panted, a tired and silly grin plastered on his face.

Gaara eyed the dried river, eyed Kisame's grave.

"Excessive," he replied in his usual monotone.

"Well, it's one less guy chasing you. That's a good thing, right?"

Gaara defensively crossed his arms across his chest.

"Hn."

* * *

Neji, Shikamaru, and Temari formed a half-circle around Zetsu, their muscles drawn tight in defensive stances.

"Mind the ground," Neji advised in a low tone.

"No need to tell _us_ that," Shikamaru quipped, the corners of his mouth twitching into a weak smirk behind his mask.

"Ah, of course."

Shikamaru and Temari had been the ones to study the notes. Every bit of planning against the enemies they would face was courtesy of this unlikely duo. They knew damn well what they were up against. And perhaps that might have been all the more reason for the two to be afraid.

However.

With a sweep of her fan, Temari decimated the tree and earned a raised eyebrow from Shikamaru.

_No subtlety at all…_

Neji immediately wheeled around, a smooth flow of silk, as Zetsu rose from the ground behind them. Neji moved flawlessly, aiming a palm strike for Zetsu's chest, only to have the "mouth" of the fly trap that encased his enemy's body snap shut in defense.

_It's as hard as iron._

Neji could already feel his hand begin to bruise.

Shikamaru's shadow snaked along the ground towards Zetsu with the intention of forcing the plant to open. Just as the shadow crept up, a vine moved silently behind Shikamaru. Temari leapt into action, guarding his back, and let her fan take the hit. The force of the hit drove her back, her feet digging into the earth. The strength of the blow would have been enough to impale and sent a shower of sparks into the air. It pushed Temari until her back was pressed against Shikamaru's, providing enough of a distraction for him to lose concentration for a brief moment. His shadow slipped away into nothing.

Neji, meanwhile, was busy fending off another barrage of attacks. His fingers jabbed at the vine, withering after its chakra was cut off. Neji winced, knowing he'd broken two fingers just to accomplish that, and barely had the chance to dodge another vine. Though not before it left a deep gouge in the side of his Anbu mask. He whirled about, prepared to launch a counterattack, before a swarm of insects arrived. They were upon the vine as a plague, devouring, leaving nothing behind.

Zetsu revealed his smirking face to his opponents. It appeared the irony of the fly trap being eaten by bugs was not lost on him.

Temari rounded on the vine she was battling, slicing clean through it with her fan.

"Enough of this crap," she growled and jumped above the battlefield. She descended, fan snapped shut, and aimed at Zetsu as if she wielded a spear. Naturally the "trap" moved to protect him, but Temari knew to expect this. She grit her teeth as she felt a close around her fan, muscles twitching as she kept her hand and feet pressed against the weapon as they slipped towards the iron jaws. She felt Zetsu push further, try to snap her fan in two, but she knew that would be no simple feat.

She moved like liquid, a fluid motion as she flipped herself upside down, balancing herself in the air as her hands gained purchase on the fan.

"Those who see the Third Star don't live to see anything else."

She jammed the fan open completely, wrenching the trap apart, one side now hanging at an impossible angle. Her arms burned with the effort to maintain her position.

"Now!" she screamed.

Shikamaru's shadow threads sprang to life, pinning the assaulting vines in frozen motion. Neji charged forward with little care for his wounded hand as he prepared the killing blow.

"You think you've won?" the light side taunted.

"Yes, come closer," the dark hissed.

Neji was only a few short steps away from finishing the fight when Zetsu's body began to quiver and spasm, nearly knocking Temari from her perch. Neji had barely enough time to stop short as Zetsu's halves tore apart at the seams. Revealed was a hideous thing, a wide-mouthed creature with rows upon rows of razor teeth.

Temari let out an undignified yelp as she and her fan fell towards the gaping maw. For the briefest of moments her mind panicked that she was going to be eaten alive. That was before she flipped the fan under her body and crouched atop it.

"Hakke Kuushou!"

Neji's jutsu gave a burst of wind to ensure Temari sailed to safety. As she floated to less perilous grounds, the swarm returned. An angry black mass of an army flooded Zetsu's mouth, and it was not until every last one had been swallowed did his two sides put themselves back together.

"You accomplished nothing."

"I consume everything."

"It is natural selection."

"I am higher on the food chain."

Shino stepped into the clearing at last.

"You won't be able to stomach my bugs."

He nodded to Shikamaru, who released his hold on the vines. One immediately lashed out towards Shino, who blocked the hit with his forearm.

"What…?" Zetsu watched the vine drop limply to the ground. Only to then watch the rest follow in rapid succession.

"The things you consume are things of flesh," Shino explained flatly, "My insects eat chakra, and are ravishing you from the inside out."

Zetsu's body gave an unnatural shudder.

"How…?"

"You knew my abilities!"

"We have a reliable source," Shikamaru drawled, watching Zetsu's death coolly.

"That damn Uchiha!"

"Sold us out!"

"Told his brother everything—" insects began to flow from his mouth.

"'Told his brother'?" Temari echoed, puzzled. But as insects burst out of one of Zetsu's eyes, she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

"He couldn't have meant…" Neji grimaced as he watched Shino's bugs continue their disturbing work on the body.

"Sasuke got his info from Itachi," Shikamaru murmured, feeling as if he'd once again been doused by a spray of cold water.

_Just how much _have_ you been hiding from us?_

* * *

Within the cave, at its deepest parts, Zetsu's hologram flickered, casting odd shadows against the looming statue residing there.

"They came prepared."

"That traitorous weasel!"

"They know everything—"

The hologram blinked once, twice, faded to static before disappearing entirely.

"It seems we've lost our eyes," Shisui declared, not seeming particularly impressed. He stared out into the depths of the cave at his few remaining followers.

"If you could clean up the vermin…?"

* * *

The final group of four raced through the dark cavern corridors, seeking, searching.

"How far?" Naruto called out, well ahead of the pack.

"The path forks ahead," Hinata studied the layout with her Byakugan, "If we take the right, there appears to be dungeons further down…"

The trail curved ahead of them and as they made to round it, Hinata pulled up short.

"Wait! There's—"

A figure emerged from behind the bend, unnaturally large and hunched over, as it shuffled into view.

"So you _are_ foolish enough to come here and die," Sasori taunted, "How pathetic."

"You're in our way," Naruto snarled.

Sakura shot him a worried look as chakra began to roll off his body in angry, red waves.

"Then _make_ me move," Sasori's tail twitched beneath the folds of his cloak while Naruto slipped into a crouching stance. A fox ready to pounce.

"Naruto," Sakura took hold of his arm, her clinical coldness lacing her voice, "Remember our real goal."

"Like I'd forget," he snapped, never once looking to her.

"She's right," Kankurou spoke up as he took hold of the scrolls he carried on his back, "You can't afford to get held up here."

"Hinata," Sakura pulled her gloves tightly into place, knuckles cracking, "You and Naruto go on ahead. We'll catch up later."

"You want us to leave you alone against _that_?" Naruto gestured to Sasori and his unnatural shape. Hinata's eyes darted nervously between her team and their enemy, her mind heavy with indecision.

"One life," Sakura reminded him brusquely.

Naruto muttered a string of curses as he grabbed Hinata's hand and took off running. Sasori lashed out with his tail at the scurrying prey, but there was a flash of light and Salamander deflected the blow.

"A puppet…" Sasori murmured, glancing from it to Kankurou, "An interesting choice."

It was only now that he noticed Sakura was nowhere in sight. He looked around, and finally up, just as she descended from above with her fist drawn back.

* * *

The door to the cell flew open with a bang.

Yugito squinted despite the light being rather dim. It was hard for her to focus on the blurry forms swimming across her vision. Could it be…? Were they saved?

"Sorry for the wait," Hidan jeered, "Time to go, kitty cat."

"What?" her sore voice rasped, the terrible shock of the Akatsuki appearing refused to sink in.

She shot a nervous look to Sasuke as he remained still and unconscious. Kakuzu made to grab for her arm and she just managed to pull away, howling like a wounded animal.

"No!" she screamed, her body all but collapsing across Sasuke's chest.

"Give me a break," Kakuzu muttered.

Yugito took hold of Sasuke's shirt, hoping against hope that he would wake up. That he would tell her _she_ was sleeping and this was all a dream.

"You liar!" she shouted at him, having no care for the weak breath rattling his chest, the blood on his face, "You promised me!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Hidan rolled his eyes and hauled Yugito by the back of her neck, "Don't you get how pointless it is for you to keep fighting this?"

"Damn it!" she shrieked, pulling and clawing at her captors to little avail, "You swore we'd get out of this alive! You made me believe—!"

"Shut her up already," Kakuzu grumbled. What a noisy brat…

"I don't want to die here—!"

The door slammed shut and cast the prison back into total darkness, total silence. Some small part of Sasuke's subconscious vaguely realized this, realized Yugito was gone. Maybe it was his own reaction, maybe it was an involuntary shudder of his body. But his fingers closed tightly around a broken strand of prayer beads that Yugito lost during her struggles.

_…I have hope…_

* * *

Jiraiya hurried through the streets of Konoha, dreading the conversation he was about to have with Kakashi. He needed Pakkun to assist in tracking down the Missing Twelve, and no doubt Kakashi was going to be livid over being left behind. Not that he could blame him…

"You might consider heading out to River Country."

Jiraiya froze, his eyes wildly scanning a darkened alley. It had been years since he'd heard that voice, but he still recognized it all the same.

"You've got some nerve to come around here," he backed the shadowed figure against the wall, out of sight from any potential onlookers.

"I'm not very reputable for making good decisions."

Kabuto drew his hood back, and while looking relatively unchanged since they'd last met, there were telltale worry lines creasing the skin about his eyes. Something had been troubling him, but Jiraiya couldn't exactly say what that "something" might turn out to be. For some reason, he rather doubted Kabuto took Orochimaru's death very hard.

"Can't say I'm surprised to learn _you're_ still alive," Jiraiya spoke in his usual gruff tones.

"That would be my only goal, as it were."

"Returning to Konoha probably won't help you there."

"Perhaps if you hear what I have to say…?"

"Alright. And what might I find in a waste of space like River Country?" Jiraiya sneered, knowing perfectly well he didn't have time to spare on a creep like Kabuto.

"Not much, I'm afraid," Kabuto shrugged, "Just the Akatsuki headquarters."

Jiraiya took involuntary step back, relinquishing his hold on Kabuto. Even if by some chance this guy was telling the truth, there had to be a catch. He didn't do anything unless he had something to gain from it.

"And you just decided out of the blue to tell me this?"

"Oh no," Kabuto laughed, an oddly nervous sound, "But as I said, I am trying to keep myself alive…"

"Ch'. Why would they be interested in a punk like you, especially now that your master's dead?" even the remote mention of Orochimaru in conversation left a sour taste in his mouth.

"Probably the same reason they're looking for Uzumaki Naruto, I'd imagine," Kabuto spoke in what might have been considered a bland tone; Jiraiya heard resignation.

But more importantly, he felt foolish for not putting things together sooner.

"I'll take it you never wondered what happened to the Five-Tail of the Rock after it was spotted during the Battle of Bellflower Pass?" Kabuto spoke in a decidedly smug voice, even if he may not have been proud of this particular truth, "Or perhaps a lone child, _a toddler_, found alone on the battlefield littered with the dead raised no flags in your mind?"

"You would lead me to this location?" Jiraiya still felt dubious about the situation, no matter how credible a tale Kabuto managed to weave.

Rather than agreeing, Kabuto simply handed him a map.

"My apologies. I still value my life, and all."

"Hnn," Jiraiya perused the map, ready to call Kabuto a coward among other things.

"You realize we'll have to hold you in custody—" he looked up from the map to discover Kabuto was already gone, "—til we prove your word to be true."

_That damn brat._

Jiraiya silently cursed the whole lot of young shinobi that kept managing to vanish before his watchful eye. Perhaps he _was_ getting old…

Perhaps.

* * *

_He kept a vigil by his younger traveling companion's side, bedridden once again with fever. Despite his efforts to treat the source of this terrible illness, to keep them on the road forever moving, it was only prolonging the inevitable. Each crippling bout came over more frequently and more potent than the last. Though the pouring rain of the land they currently were traveling through did little to help the situation._

_A brittle, wheezing laugh cut through the silence like a hot blade._

_"So stupid," his ailing partner muttered._

_"What is?" he spoke softly, hoping not to goad the other in his weakened state._

_"I was just thinking…Remembering…this girl back home—I probably should have bought her dinner, after all…"_

_He said nothing in response, not that he'd been expected to. But he certainly knew quite a bit about things he should have done and hadn't._

_"That was what…Three years ago?" the other choked and coughed out his words, "Ridiculous…"_

_"What made you think of it now?" a seemingly general question, though an undoubtedly loaded one._

_A wish for vindication…A need to justify that he'd never stopped thinking of her…Despite his secret oath to do so after all that happened in _that place_…_

_"I don't know."_

_In that moment, staring into the guarded expression of the young man lain out in bed, he decided he would bring him home._

To be continued…


	22. Ch 22: A Small Price

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 22: A Small Price

Kakashi stood before the memorial stone, such an achingly familiar sight. It never lost anything, never gave anything back, only gained. It took and took and—

"I suppose we should get going."

He looked to Pakkun, who sat obediently at his feet.

"Even though the Hokage forbade you from leaving?"

_Those who abandon their friends are less than trash…_

"Not all orders are meant to be followed."

* * *

Sakura's fist grazed the side of Sasori's tail in a shower of sparks.

While it did keep her from being impaled, said tail connected bluntly with her stomach and sent her careening into the stone wall. Her feet planted firmly, her body coiled, before she pushed off and landed smoothly next to Kankurou. He, meanwhile, used Sasori's momentary preoccupation with Sakura to send in Karasu. The puppet flew in strong, weapons at the ready. It managed to shred Sasori's cloak but not much else.

"Those tricks won't work on me," Sasori spoke blandly as ribbons of fabric settled around him.

"I know," Kankurou answered grimly, "I just wanted to get a better look at what I'm fighting."

The red "mask" of Hiruko gleamed eerily in the darkness.

"Well, if that's the case…" Sasori tore the piece of cloth hanging in front of his "mouth." It dropped open and a shower of needles followed.

Kankurou and Sakura expertly deflected the onslaught, all the while charging in closer to their target.

"Impressive," Sasori remarked, "But I'm hardly through with you yet."

He fired Hiruko's "arm" and another barrage of metal rained down upon them. Yet not a single weapon made its mark.

_A puppet user, perhaps. But the girl, too?_

A lashed out with his tail, its poisoned tip aiming for Sakura. But then she froze and the tail froze and she eyed the poison dripping not an inch away from her nose.

_Impossible…so that's what you were doing, boy?_

"Sakura, go!" Kankurou shouted.

The order wasn't necessary. Sakura was already rushing through the air, fist cocked, and chakra flowing strong. She bore down on Hiruko with a fierce scream, shattering the puppet into useless splinters. As her feet touched ground, a shadowy figure leapt away from the debris to the other side of the battlefield.

"I see now. You had the girl act as a puppet and had her dodge my attacks. I can't believe I missed you attach a chakra string to Hiruko's tail. Must have been while you attacked with Karasu…"

Sasori revealed his true face, surprisingly youthful with hair the color of fresh blood. Sakura and Kankurou had no visible reaction to the sight. They'd been expecting it, after all. Though Sasori only thought that perhaps these children were at least good enough to school their features from leaking any thoughts or emotions. If that were the case, and taking what Zetsu had announced before getting picked off into account, there was no sense in playing around here.

Sasori was rather impatient in nature, anyway.

"Since you were decent enough to destroy Hiruko, I'll at least let you see my finest puppet."

He unraveled a scroll, the word "three" painted upon its paper. There was a puff of smoke and then his favorite, the Third Kazekage, was draped across his shoulders.

"So, shall we begin?" Sasori didn't think about how they did nothing but blink in response. There was no fear, no tenseness. They were ready for this.

* * *

Naruto raced a fair distance ahead of Hinata through the dark, winding corridors. The blackness wasn't a deterrent for her, not when she was implementing the Byakugan. She chose to say nothing as she watched red chakra pour from his body, his clawed fingers, his feral red eyes. He was losing his composure, his control, as his mind grew equally worried for Sasuke and now Sakura.

"Naruto-kun," she called out softly.

"Are we close?" he growled back.

They were. From here she could see the dungeons, see two people drag someone from a cell. She didn't know to feel relieved or alarmed that it wasn't Sasuke. A girl, probably not much older than them, fought her captors with teeth and nails like a cornered animal.

_She must be one of…she's like Naruto-kun._

"Yes," she admitted, "We're close."

* * *

Sasori, never a man to waste time, sent the Third charging forward towards his opponents. All the studying in the world mattered little against actual speed like that. Kankurou used his chakra strings to yank Sakura out of harm's way.

She was flying, weightless, and ultimately defenseless in this state. Because there was a delayed response between Kankurou's reflexes, because the Third was bearing down on her with an arm loaded with gleaming blades and gleaming poison. She tugged at the restraints of the chakra strings to shield herself with her arms. But there was no sting of a knife; only a gust of wind against her face from the impact of weapons connecting with Hiruko's discarded tail. Sakura was torn away from the mess, debris following in her wake.

"Shit," she heard Kankurou muttered, "I didn't expect it to shatter the tail…"

"Not bad," Sasori was bland as ever, blank as ever, "Try this."

His fingers danced and the Third's other arm folded back into a series of flaps, painted in the old ways with seals. The one arm turned into a thousand swarming hands reaching for them. Sakura was sailing back, back, back from the incoming barrage. The arms crashed against the stone floor as a sea to its shore. The dust settled and Sakura was found lying on the ground, body oddly contorted within the odd sort of bamboo forest. Her heart raced, honestly amazed she survived relatively unscathed.

Sasori frowned mildly at the scene.

_As long as that kid's controlling the girl, I'll see no end to this._

"In that case…"

Kankurou carefully maneuvered Sakura from the pile of arms, gently floating her away. It caught them both by surprise when one of the hands erupted with a plume of smoke.

_Fuck!_

"Sakura, hold your breath!"

"Poison—!" she shouted before the fog enveloped her.

Kankurou hurried to pull her to safety. But the cloud blocked his vision; he couldn't see the rope-bound kunai wrap around her body.

_Don't inhale._

She chanted the mantra over and over again in her mind. Despite the burn in her eyes, the burn in her lungs.

"She won't last long in there," Sasori mused, earning a snarl from Kankurou as he desperately tried to tug her back.

The poison had but one good point. It shielded Sakura from watching eyes. No one could see her struggle to reach inside her pouch. The rope was so tight, digging viciously into her skin. But it mattered not to her.

_I can't die here._

Her fingers close around her sought object.

_I** will**__ not die here._

The explosion rocked the cavern. As the smoke cleared, Sakura was thrown back and her body forcibly collided with Kankurou.

"Sakura…" he murmured, both awed and worried by her actions. He'd heard of her strength, sure enough, but the only fight he'd ever seen of hers was the Chuunin Exam all those years ago. Ninjas grew as fighters as they got older, naturally, or they'd be dead. But to think that _she_ became such a powerhouse…

She struggled slowly, ever so slowly, to regain her bearings and swayed on her feet. There was blood on her face and she had diamonds for eyes, hardened to a fine point and ready for the kill.

"She set off an explosion tag to dissipate the poison. Impressive," Sasori didn't sound very impressed. Moreover, he seemed rather annoyed.

"I will defeat you!" she shouted, "Even if you break all my bones and paralyze me with poison, I will stop you! You'll never catch Naruto and you'll never kill Sasuke-kun!!"

"Is that so? Perhaps I should show you why this is my favorite puppet."

The Third's mouth opened and iron sand floated through the air like liquid. Sakura and Kankurou eyed it warily, bodies tense and ready to spring. This, they know, wouldn't be so unlike dealing with Gaara's style of fighting. They grew fearful of their knowledge.

"Satetsu Shigure."

It rained down upon them like bullets, spraying an area too large to evade by normal means. Sakura wasn't sure what happened at first when she found herself sprawled some distance away. A heartbeat passed before she realized Karasu was wrapped around her body. She glanced back to see Kankurou safely concealed behind Salamander's shield.

"Ah yes," Sasori had an air of nostalgia about him as he looked at the puppet, "That one was designed especially for defense. Too bad it's useless now."

Kankurou muttered a string of curses as he watched the iron sand lock his puppet's joints into place and rendered it immobile.

"One puppet can't defend two people. What will you do now?"

Sakura strode before Kankurou, her eyes glued to Sasori's every move.

"Use me."

"Sakura—"

"We may need Karasu again. I know I don't have all the impressive weaponry of a puppet," the faintest of smiles crept up upon her, "But my shisou's distaste for losing, I've got plenty of."

The words came out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying. Remembering Tsunade at a time like this, in a place like this, left a terrible ache in her chest.

_Tsunade-shishou…_

"I still say you're crazy…" he grumbled as he attached his chakra strings to her.

Sasori hadn't been wasting his time as they discussed their plan. He was reworking the sand into a large mass, preparing his next attack.

"Satetsu Kaihou."

The sand spread out like tree branches, filling the small space rapidly. Kankurou hurried to maneuver her through the growing, changing maze to get her closer to Sasori. But then the attack struck with full force, shaking the cavern and everything was lost to a fog of debris. Kankurou blinked slowly, head swimming with his arm pinned beneath a pile of rocks, and tried to assess what just happened. In the chaos, he'd had no way of controlling Sakura safely.

"Sakura!"

She stood in the middle of the disaster, dazed and bleeding, gripping her wounded arm.

_She's wounded! And this guy **had** to have put poison in the sand—_

She seemed to fall slowly, oh so slowly. Her knees bottomed out and she collapsed into a boneless mess on the ground.

"Ah, the poison's already started to take effect. It leaves you numb and completely immobile," Sasori explained glibly, "If I left you alone, you'd have three days left to live…But I have no intention of doing that."

The Third sailed forward, blade at the ready. Kankurou tried in vain to free himself from the rocks but there would never be enough time to get Sakura to safety.

Fortunately, he would not need to do such things. Sakura bolted up and drove her fist through the Third, shattering it beyond repair and recognition. The sand gave out on itself and fluttered away uselessly as Sakura jumped over to Kankurou. She said nothing as she tossed the constraining rocks away with ease.

"Sakura—You—"

"I'm crazy. I know," she looked tired, but pleased.

"Remember, we've only got three minutes," she added as she began to heal his arm.

Three minutes before the antidote wore off.

Sasori watched the scene silently, irritable and confused.

_She was definitely poisoned. How is she able to move around? Is it because this brat's a medic…? Don't tell me…She stopped the poison! She couldn't have! Even if she had anti-venom with her, the chances of it working on my particular poison—No, she had the right antidote. These punks were told **everything**._

"I haven't been given such a good fight since I joined the Akatsuki. How long has it been now?" Sasori shrugged out of his robe and revealed his true self, made of metal and wood and all assortment of things unhuman, "It really has been a good while…Since I last used 'myself' in battle."

The pair weren't given time to study his unnatural form once Sasori poured unrelenting flames from the "palms" of his hands. They found themselves crouched behind rocks to avoid the terrible blaze.

"Even if you have medical skills, you'll run out of chakra eventually. How will you beat me then?"

Sakura bit her lip, growing frustrated and anxious.

_Closing in on two minutes left…_

The fire abruptly stopped as the scroll stored in Sasori's "spine" disappeared, spent. But there was no pause in his attack. He dove forward, a terrible cable-bound blade serving as his true tail at the helm. Sakura realized its edge was intended for her mere moments before it struck. Even diving to the side, she could not avoid it nicking her side nor the spray of blood that followed.

The pointed "tail" struck deeply into the rock, its velocity too fierce to alter its course. But it did not stop Sasori in his pursuit as he soared towards Kankurou. A series of swords rising from his back in a grotesque imitation of wings.

An angel of death, if you will.

_Kankurou-san…!_

Sakura pressed her hand to her vicious wound as she jumped into action. The image of Kankurou's siblings burned brightly in her mind: the indomitable Sand Trio. The task of keeping them together now rested on her shoulders.

Sasori felt his body give a sudden jerk. A look of surprise overcame his wooden face as he saw the cable wound around his midsection grow taut. Mere moments later he realized Sakura was hauling him as if he were a particularly stubborn fish. He paid it no mind as his blades spun now as wild saws, already savoring the victory. That was, until the cable reached the end of its reel before his weapons could reach Kankurou.

"**Shannaro!**"

She yanked with all her might with one hand, her other a fist ready to strike. His doll-body barreled towards her waiting punch and she held nothing back. The puppet that was Sasori broke apart at its joints, raining parts through the cavern as if he were a broken toy.

"Hah…We did it, Kankurou-san. We really beat him!"

"Sakura—You—"

He was going to say she did most of the work. But instead his eyes grew terribly wide.

"Sakura!"

Even though she ordered her body to turn quick, her limbs seemed to move so slowly. She faced Sasori, reassembled and whole, as he drove a sword through her stomach. Kankurou could only stand in mute shock as he stared at the blade protruding from her back. At the blood pooling at her feet.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

Only now did the reality of the task they had taken on truly sunk in. All the planning in the world couldn't change the fact that this was the Akatsuki they were facing. Somehow it just hadn't seemed real until this moment.

Sakura hissed as she raised her hand to heal the wound.

"Trying to heal yourself with the sword still through you…You're just wasting chakra. This blade is poisoned, too."

He casually moved to withdraw his weapon, but Sakura held on fiercely.

"I won't let go," she snarled, feeling her body start to go numb. The antidote had worn off…

"You foolish girl," Sasori muttered. This was taking far too long.

"Who's the fool here?" Kankurou jabbed the needle into Sakura's thigh and injected her with the final dose of the antidote.

"So that was it…" Sasori realized now how they'd been able to fight off his poison. Or rather, his hypothesis had been correct.

He detached his arm at its elbow joint, revealing yet another sword. He charged forward with full intention of finishing off Kankurou when something slammed into his back. A liquid not so different than blood, save for its color, splattered across the stone floor.

"It was the least I could do, since Sakura was tough enough to buy me some time," Kankurou commented.

Sasori stared down at the tip of the blade that had pierced his "heart." He couldn't see Karasu's arm that held it. His eyes drifted to the ground, the sweeping script of a sealing pattern looking back. His vision traveled to Salamander, which lay forgotten in the corner, fresh ink dripping from its mouth.

"Even if you made yourself a puppet, some part of you had to be human to still produce chakra," Kankurou patted his hand over his own chest, his own heart. As soon as the words left his mouth, Sakura dragged the sword from her body before crumpling to the ground in a graceless mess. Kankurou kept a watchful eye on Sasori as he knelt by her side, her hands tightly pressed against the gushing wound as she worked to close it.

"A cure," Sasori suddenly spoke, laughing almost, "So you really _do_ know everything."

Sakura glared harshly from where she lay.

"Did you think we came here unprepared?"

"It would seem that punk of an Uchiha couldn't keep his mouth shut."

"If you hurt Sasuke-kun…" Sakura forced her trembling body to kneel, Kankurou quick to steady her.

"Sasuke…" Sasori seemed to contemplate where he knew that name, "Oh, him? Since you did manage to beat me, I'll let you in on a little secret. Who do you think told Uchiha Sasuke all that information?"

Sakura's shoulders spasmed as if she'd been doused with cold water and nearly lost control over her healing jutsu. All this time, she assumed Sasuke spent the past year on a recon mission of sorts to study the Akatsuki. Despite being sick and crippled and—

"Maybe Orochimaru sold you out," the words felt uncertain and heavy on her tongue.

"Ha!" the odd purplish liquid that served as his blood trickled down his chin, "I used to partner with that guy. He was too weak to have ever known how to beat any of us."

Kankurou noticed Sasori seemed to grow tired, like a wind-up doll whose key barely turned. There wasn't much time left.

"Then how…?" Kankurou didn't finish the question out loud. He was already putting things together in his mind and wasn't sure he was going to like the answer.

"Traitor to the bone, that Itachi. Looks like he planned this all from the beginning…"

"Uchiha Itachi," Sakura's voice sounded impossibly small, "_He_ helped Sasuke-kun?"

Sasori spoke no more. He was already gone.

Sakura slowly rose on shaky limbs, ignoring Kankurou's offer of assistance. She stumbled forward a few steps, hand still on her stab wound. She healed it enough to close it, but she was quite far from recovered. It she were of a mind to think about it, she would know it would likely take weeks to fully heal from such an injury. But such a thing didn't matter right now. Only Sasuke mattered.

_Oh, Sasuke-kun! What really happened between you and your brother?_

"We have to catch up to Naruto and Hinata," Sakura declared, appearing utterly disassociated with the current situation, her current state.

"Are you sure—I mean, yeah, we should find them. But are you able?" Kankurou fished for words as he watched her dazedly shuffle forward like a calf just learning of its legs, "God, Sakura, don't you need more time?"

He recalled a day from four years ago, when it had been a different Konoha ninja with a knife wound to the gut.

* * *

The body in his arms felt impossibly heavy as he raced back to Konoha, the makeshift bandages he'd used doing nothing to stem the bleeding. Perhaps it was his clothing now weighed down with blood that wasn't his. Kiba kept trying to speak, as if he didn't realize he needed to save every last bit of strength. Kankurou kept urging Kiba to shut up. He didn't know the guy, not really, and he didn't want to get to know him. Not now, in a moment like this. Keeping his distance made the trek easier.

"Tell Hinata…For me, tell her…" he coughed heavily, blood spilling from his mouth.

"Just keep quiet!" the entrance to the hospital was in sight.

"Please tell her! That I—" his eyes cracked open briefly as they passed through the door into a world of whiteness and light, and the words he wanted to say were replaced with others, "Tell Hinata to look after Akamaru for me?"

Kiba was put on a stretcher and wheeled away.

"It's your dog, you look after it!" a pause, "Just tell her yourself!"

* * *

_Don't make me watch another one of you die._

"We don't _have_ time," she snapped before popping a soldier pill. It drew a grimace across her face, as even the smallest of motions pulled at the wound. The skin was raw and puckered and she would spare no more chakra for it. She had a far more important person to heal. It didn't matter what the Akatsuki did to her. They'd already managed to stab her, burn her, poison her. But if she could keep Naruto safe, if she could keep Sasuke _alive_…Yes.

It was a small price to pay, as far as she was concerned.

A very small price.

* * *

There was no proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Just Hinata's gentle hand against his arm, forcing Naruto to pause before turning that last bend. She murmured all was clear before they ventured on. It was a fair touch lighter here, though, with scant torches hanging from the wall. It made it easier to see the ofuda placed around the cell's door.

"Well?" Naruto huffed, nervous and angry and afraid and a dozen other unnamable feelings.

"He-he's inside," she worried at her bottom lip, terrified by what she could see. But they couldn't be too late, not after all it took to get here.

"I can smell blood," Naruto's voice came out soft and perhaps far too grave for Hinata's liking, "Someone else's. Like a wild animal's almost…"

He didn't add that it reminded him of Gaara, that he intrinsically knew a jinchuuriki had been here. Hinata chose not to fill in the gaps. Naruto knew well enough about the bigger picture; he didn't need to hear about what she saw. About that poor young woman.

"Stand back," Naruto rapidly switched gears, "I'm gonna blow the fuckin' door down."

"No," a rapid shake of the head, hair spilling like ink over her face, "It will attract too much attention. If you can get rid of those chakra binders—" she gestures to the ofuda, "I can open the door."

"Wha—okay."

Hinata forced her hands to still themselves while the Kyuubi's violent red chakra burned the seals off the wall. That power terrified her. Not to say that she was afraid of Naruto; far from it. Rather she feared _for_ him. So focused was she in concentrating on the door (in ignoring that horrid, demonic presence pouring from a perfectly human boy), she took no notice of Naruto crouching down beside her. He watched in rapt fascination as she worked pins in the lock.

"I didn't know you could do that," he sounded impressed, as much as he could given the stress of the situation.

"M-my Byakugan lets me see inside the lock," her cheeks flushed in the dim light from his voice, his closeness, "And I am a kunoichi…"

"I'm sorry."

_Naruto-kun, you're going to break my heart._

"Please don't apologize—"

"No! I mean…Four years is a long time to waste not getting to know you better. So—"

Click.

"I got it," she rose fast to push the door open, her heart a fluttering hummingbird.

_Will it break or burst from being too full…?_

Despite it being dark inside, so very dark, they could still make out a shadowed figure lying far too still on the ground.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called, charging forward.

There was no movement, not so much as a twitch. Naruto knelt by his side, true and unfiltered terror finally registering in his brain. That tiny little part of his mind, despite it happening time and again, reminded him that sometimes things just do not work out. His hand, heated from Kyuubi's ever-present influence, reached for Sasuke's arm. So cold and clammy and seemingly not aliv—

"You are such an _idiot!_" Naruto shouted, "Always trying to do everything by yourself!"

Prayer beads fell loose from Sasuke's lax fingers and rolled aimlessly across the stone floor.

"I never even knew you prayed," Naruto sniffled, again feeling like too much time was lost when he could have spent it better understanding his friend.

Hinata stood removed from the scene, feeling ever the intruder. She couldn't bring herself to tell Naruto the beads belonged to someone else. A girl far too similar to him.

"Naruto-kun?" her small voice sounded too loud in this place, "I should start the ritual—"

"We're too late," Naruto muttered; she could see the tears streaking his face, "He—he's not breathing."

Something about that look on his face honestly made her believe she felt something inside herself break.

"I have to start the ritual _now_," she spoke more firmly, a sheet of steel seeming to fall around her words. It startled Naruto enough to make him give her the space she needed. Hinata wasted no time gathering her supplies from her medical bag as she knelt by Sasuke, before tying her hair back. Naruto's eyes were pinpoints as Hinata pulled out a kunai.

"Keep an eye out for the enemy. I can't be interrupted once I start," she ordered before cutting Sasuke's shirt open. She paid no heed to the paper skin pulled over pointed ribs. She knew to expect this by now. Her main concern was the ugly bruise on his chest, over his heart. She looked deeper, beneath the skin, at the partially collapsed chakra coils wrapped around his heart.

This was precisely what she feared would happen.

And it was hard. Hard for her to keep her clinical composure when the body she was working on belonged to someone she swore she would save. For Kiba's sake, so that his death would not be wasted. For Naruto, for many a reason obvious.

And for herself, because she did not go back on her word.

_If I do anything, it could kill him. If I do nothing, this **will** kill him._

Hinata allowed her hand to glow with chakra, almost static in its form. Naruto, who was caught somewhere between lashing out at something and vomiting, forced himself to focus on it. It reminded him vaguely of something he'd seen Tsunade do years ago, when she fought Kabuto. But seeing Hinata like this, so absorbed and cold in her work, made her seem like a stranger.

He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

Hinata took that moment to press her hand to Sasuke's chest. The contact sent a jolt through his body before it collapsed limply to the ground.

"Again," Hinata murmured to herself.

Shock, arch, collapse.

"Sasuke-kun, please pull through this."

Shock, arch, collapse.

"We came all this way just to save you," she pleaded, "Don't quit now!"

Shock, arch, collapse.

Naruto turned brusquely to stand in the doorway, his back turned to the scene, as his claws left gouges in his palms. He couldn't do this. He _could not_ do this! How could he just be standing here while his best friend, his _brother_, died! Never in all his life had he felt so helpless. At least when Sasuke left all those years ago, he could always cling to that sliver of hope that he would come home someday. But this…This final, dreadful stretch of time and Naruto could do nothing.

The sound of another jolt, Sasuke's body hitting the earth, made his shoulders jerk. So consumed with his rage and grief, he was tempted to yell for Hinata to stop. He was being a coward, he knew that. Suddenly all of Sakura's fears spoken in the Nagano Shrine rang in his ears. And now he had to face the truth. That he was late, too late, and that he would truly be unable to keep his promise of a lifetime.

He didn't expect to hear a thick, wet cough follow. He spun quick enough to almost lose his bearing, and watched Sasuke. Blood dribbled down his chin, and his chest rose rapidly with rattling shallow breath, but…

But…

He was _alive._

Hinata wiped sweat away from her brow with the sleeve of her coat before removing a scroll from her pack.

"I'm going to start. There's no time left to wait for Sakura-san."

Naruto nodded dumbly, wondering desperately how Sakura was fairing. The other piece that was his precious puzzle known as Team 7.

_Sakura-chan, please be okay. We need you._

And he strangely found himself missing Kakashi. The faintest of smiles touched his face, the small bit of relief knowing Sasuke still had some fight in him leaking into his features.

_Bet Kakashi-sensei'll be pissed when he finds out what we did._

* * *

A brief, but never forgotten memory:

"Those who abandon their friends are less than trash."

* * *

Hell, Kakashi would probably be proud.

"Naruto-kun?"

He couldn't guess what sort of expression Hinata was wearing with her back turned to him.

"I—There's an array of seals that have to be painted around him…"

Naruto was completely blindsided for a moment.

"I don't know the first thing about medicine," came his knee-jerk reaction.

"But you trained with Jiraiya-sama. You know seals."

Hearing his name was like have an old wound reopened. It didn't help Naruto try to explain how afraid he was. If he did something wrong here, it could cost Sasuke his life. Naruto liked to think he knew a thing or two about being a ninja, but it was only now he realized how out of his depth he really was. That momentary glimmer of hope he'd felt knowing Sasuke was still with them faded with each breath,

Tell Naruto to fight someone, he'd kick their ass.

But to partake in an elaborate healing ritual? A dead-last brawler like him?

For a moment, he believed his shoulders would buckle from the pressure.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata could sense his overbearing anxiety. After all the loss and hardship set upon him, and despite the speech he'd given before they embarked on this mission, his confidence had been stretched too thin.

"We can't wait anymore. Sasuke-kun need us."

"I know that!" he replied shortly, "But if I fuck this up—!"

"I need your help!" Hinata cried out, tears dripping from her chin as she finally looked at him, "I can't do this alone…I need you…So, please…"

Naruto was crouching behind her in a heartbeat, holding her close. He could feel chakra pulsing through her, passing from her hand to Sasuke's. She was doing everything she could to keep him alive, while Naruto had done nothing but feel sorry for himself. And he dared to call himself the next Hokage?

Since when did he give up just because things were hard?

He built his entire Nindo around overcoming everything that threatened to pull him down.

"I have no idea what I'd do without you," he admitted.

His emotions always ran excessively high when it came to his team. Never did he think Hinata would be the one person in his life that truly kept him grounded. She reminded him of why he wanted to lead his village: to protect them. And fortunately, life had given him Hinata to also remind him that people truly did believe in him.

Before she could stutter a reply, Naruto was on his feet with an odd air of calm about him.

"Where's the ink?"

"It-it has to be blood," she murmured.

"Figures," Naruto commented as he slashed his hand open with a knife, "It's what gives us life."

He didn't remember it, couldn't remember it. Not consciously. The feel of fresh blood on his belly from the man who gave his life to put it there.

The storm had passed. There was no more fear. No more doubt. He would try, possibly succeed, possibly not. But it was better than the nothing he almost chose. Doing nothing only meant he would definitely fail.

And he'd have none of that.

Sasuke would never forgive him otherwise.

Hinata probably wouldn't, either.

* * *

The other two squads finally converged within the cave.

"So far so good," Shikamaru assessed, silently breathing a sigh of relief. He made sure to search out Ino, confirming she was no worse for the wear.

"Hey," Temari greeted her brother, earning a quiet nod, before she moved closer to whisper, "Two steps closer."

"Two steps," he echoed faintly.

Two steps closer to being free of the wolves that hunted him.

Neji stood with the team of his youth, both of whom looked ragged around the edges.

"Lee," Neji gave him a shrewd look.

"I sort of needed to open the gates," a sheepish look.

"How many?"

"Umm…Six?"

Neji rolled his eyes, inwardly both concerned and exasperated. This guy was as hopeless as ever. No doubt Lee had to be exhausted by now.

Tenten, meanwhile, remained silent and proud. Not just for herself, but for her boys. It helped her forget the pain in her legs. But Neji didn't miss how stiff she held herself.

"Were you injured?" he spoke in low tones. He could check the damage himself, but that always seemed a touch too bold for his liking.

"Nothing serious," she smiled, "Ino patched me up."

Neji rather had the feeling she was just content to be out in the field as the kunoichi she always dreamed of being.

Tenten touched his shoulder, a seemingly friendly gesture.

"You?"

A snort. "I've had worse."

She said nothing, despite what an understatement that was. Ironic his worse injuries occurred chasing down the same boy they were searching for now.

Gaara tensed suddenly, earning a series of glances.

A bug chose that time to land on Shino's fingertip.

"Someone's coming."

The group looked around, bracing for the next enemy.

"There's two," Neji whispered, "No…Three. They're carrying someone."

The Zombie Twins appeared from the dark like specters, unconscious Yugito in tow.

"Shit, 'was starting to wonder when we'd find you," Hidan commented, a terrible grin splitting his face.

* * *

_It surprised him to see the other man indulge in liquor._

_"I didn't think you drank," he commented dryly, suddenly feeling too young in this room._

_"You know my thoughts on the dangers that lie in making assumptions."_

_It took a moment before he realized the man was joking. And yet a moment more to realize a cup had been pushed before him._

_"I'm not of age," he states, frowning. Odd was it to be reminded of how few years he'd actually survived thus far. It felt like so many more than the truth._

_"And which laws are you upholding? The ones society place upon you?" the man gestured with cup in hand, "Or your own moral code?"_

_There was another statement floating beneath those words. Ones that begged the question of if you can take a life, what holds you back from trying to keep living your own?_

_He remained quiet, all words spoken and unspoken swimming through his mind. Somehow he always pictured this first try to be different._

_When he was but a young boy, he imagined his first drink to be shared with his father. They would celebrate his entrance into the police force, that first true step into the rest of his adult life. But time stretched on in those days, replaced the concept with the man before him. He'd follow this man's steps into the Anbu, that first true step towards greatness. Acknowledgement. What have you._

_But then those both became impossible dreams._

_Slowly, unbeknownst to him, another future shaped itself within his mind. One he would not dare ever admit, especially not to himself._

_He is with his team, a full squad of jounin. There teacher sits by as a silent observer, perhaps remembering how he felt when he was in their shoes. Only now he had a happier memory to accompany it. The pride in his eye would be reflected in their cups._

_The other boy would be a rather unsurprisingly loud drunk. He would probably start singing._

_The girl would lean across the table to give a half-hearted slap, too pleased with the moment to care how loud he got. She would sink back in the booth and lean against him. He would probably say the booze went to his head when asked why he let her stay. Why his fingers toyed with her hair._

_He would savor the fullness the replaced the gap in his heart._

_But he remembers himself. Where he really is and what has really happened. He downs his drink quickly, before slowly setting his cup upon the table._

_"Too bitter?"_

_No, it wasn't that. He'd long lost his ability to taste. But to feel it flow inside, through his gut that had far too long felt like coldly coiled snakes…_

_He eyed the man across him. This wasn't what he'd ever planned for, or imagined. But to be here, to still be alive, and to know the truth_—

_"It's warm."_

To be continued…


	23. Ch 23: In Faith and In Memory

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 23: In Faith and In Memory

Both sides remained still, eerily so, caught in the calm before the storm.

Shikamaru exhaled slowly behind his mask before taking the initial step. He kept an eye on his enemies, watching them like the wild dogs he knew them to be, as he approached Lee. He made each calculated movement appear casual in their presentation, lest he tip his hand too soon. Perhaps he should have felt nervous, but the fire in his gut was raw with adrenaline.

He understood Sasuke a little too well, this time.

"You got enough gas left in the tank?" he whispered softly, looping an arm nonchalantly around Lee's shoulders.

"Of course," Lee smiled tightly as Shikamaru's free hand pressed something into his palm.

Tenten kept a keen watch as Lee's fingers shut around the unknown object, before she tore open a scroll to start the show. The assault of kunai drove a wedge between the Zombie Twins and they went airborne, cloaks fluttering about like ghosts. Hidan was the first to counterattack with the swing of his scythe. It found its mark as it cut through Shino, whose body collapsed in a swarm of insects.

"Well, _there's_ an inventive bunshin," he grumbled.

Kakuzu kept his hold on Yugito as he let his other arm pull apart at its seam, letting thick tentacles unfurl. They moved with liquid speed, making its first contact with Temari. She turned smoothly in kind to slice through them with her fan

"Ugh! I'm sick of fighting vines. Get something original!" Temari growled, with a gust of wind following.

Lee darted though the chaos, dodging stray tentacles, at a speed only afforded to him through the Second Gate. His body unseen, his hand unnoticed as it swept past one of the severed oily masses. Temari's attack only proved to be a further distraction to the evading Akatsuki as Lee slipped discreetly back to Shikamaru's side, placing the vile in his hand.

"You brats are gonna have to try harder than that, seriously," Hidan taunted, "You'd think me killing that pathetic Konoha jounin of yours would'a taught you I'm way out of your league!"

Shikamaru's face visibly darkened at that. So that's how they wanted to play, huh?

Ino seemed close to shouting something snide in return, until she caught a glimpse of Shikamaru out of the corner of her eye. She knew that look of his well enough to know he was up to something. Not even a literal mask could hide that from her.

_Please, **please**, don't do anything stupid._

The thought barely finished crossing her mind before Shikamaru went airborne and threw down a pair of kunai. The pair easily evaded the attack, mostly, until Kakuzu realized it.

"Damnit, explosive tags!"

Hidan cursed under his breath when he realized the rope attached to his scythe had been severed.

"Kakuzu!"

"I hardened my arm, so I'm not injured," a pause, "Watch the ground. This guy uses shadows."

They avoided being captured by Shikamaru's attacks, giving Hidan another burst of confidence.

"Is this all he can do? Seriously…"

"Hidan, above you!"

He caught sight of Shikamaru throwing another round of kunai, coming inches from taking one through his skull.

"Don't let it get near you," Kakuzu advised, "I bet he'll try and pin your shadow with it."

Ino kept her distance, knowing better than to get in Shikamaru's way when he was like this. But…

_This isn't good. These guys aren't stupid at all. They know exactly what Shikamaru's trying. Maybe this is one of those moments Temari-san was talking about when I should try and stop Shikamaru from getting in over his head…_

Before Shikamaru's knife hit the earth, a curious weapon like brass knuckles with a curved blade, his shadow jumped up from the ground. It caught the blade by the handle and hurled it forward.

Hidan scowled as he evaded the onslaught.

_Shit, that fucker picked it up and _threw _it with his shadow…_

Asuma's old knife embedded itself in the wall right in front of Hidan's nose. He eyed the explosive tag tied to the end for a curious moment before it registered it wasn't going to detonate.

_A fake, huh? Pathetic._

_I guess it doesn't really matter. Long as I don't let that shadow touch me his jutsu will never work._

He glanced up just in time to get a good look at Shikamaru's fist.

"What the fuck??"

"You don't scare me," Shikamaru spoke crisply as Hidan's feet skid to a stop, "My jutsu is a success."

Hidan stood stiffly, seething, as he could no longer control his own movements.

"Let's take a walk," Shikamaru began leading him unwillingly from the rest of the group.

"Shikamaru!" Ino called. He couldn't be serious about doing this on his own.

"Idiot," Temari muttered, "What the hell are you trying to pull?"

"By my calculations, we'd be better off separating them."

"And did these 'calculations' involve you fighting him one-on-one?" she hissed by his ear.

"I may have left it out of my notes," he gave a casual wave, Hidan awkwardly following the movement.

"Man, just you wait 'til I offer your corpse up to Jashin-sama," Hidan warned.

"You better not take all day with that ritual," Kakuzu called after him, "I don't want to get stuck here babysitting a bunch of brats—!"

A jolt to his back cut off his words abruptly. He glanced over his shoulder into a bird-like Anbu mask, which did nothing to conceal the white eyes behind it.

"You were saying…?" Neji spoke as calmly as ever, his palm still pressed against Kakuzu's back.

"Heh, you only stopped my heart," Neji leapt back as hulking masked creatures sprouted from Kakuzu's body, "Good thing I have plenty to spare."

As the monsters formed a semi-circle around him, one detail stuck out in everyone's mind. It had somehow been forgotten amidst the initial mêlée, the fact that Kakuzu had clung tightly to the body of an unconscious young woman.

"We have to get that girl away from him," Lee declared.

"It doesn't look like he'll give her up too easily," Tenten muttered as she studied the captive's uniform, before glancing in Neji's direction.

_What's a Cloud-nin doing here, anyway?_

"What? You don't think he'll hand her over if we ask nicely?" Temari commented as a terrible grin took hold.

_You better watch out, Nara. When I'm through with this guy, you're next!_

"Interested in the girl, are ya?" Kakuzu taunted as one of his arms detached to pin Yugito's body to the far wall, "Then go get her."

Shino decided to test the waters first as he let a swarm fly towards the girl. Unsurprisingly, one of the masked creatures took action and scorched the bugs in a stream of fire. Tenten, however, took advantage of it having her back to her as she let knives fly from her scroll. She vaguely heard Lee shout a warning at her before evading a blast from the "wind mask." She turned sharply to engage the creature, already swinging a chained sickle in a wide arc.

The blade swiped smoothly through the black rolling mass of its arm, but the wound did little to deter her opponent. Already she was switching weapons to deal with closer combat, letting her sickle disappear in a puff of smoke only to be replaced with a ninja-tou. This certainly wasn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, yet she couldn't keep a smile from creeping up.

This moment, this very fight in this very place, _this_ is what she lived for.

_I have trained my entire life for this day. _

Her body flowed like water between strikes and parries, carefully avoiding the monster's powerful attacks.

_I will face down my Village's, no, the **world's**, greatest threat and I will win._

She was descending over the being, the edge of her blade poised to pierce through its mask.

_What do you think, Gai-sensei? Did I make it?_

* * *

"_From today you are genin! I'd like to hear your goals, yes!!"_

"_I would like to become a strong ninja…like the legendary female ninja Tsunade-sama._"

* * *

A particularly hard hit from one of those tentacles smacked solidly against her collar bone and sent her reeling backwards. Tenten winced through the pain, not entirely sure it wasn't broken. Hopefully it was only a bad bruise…A glint of metal caught her eye briefly as she avoided another hit from the monster. It took her a moment to recognize that she was watching her wedding ring tumble through the air; the chain it had been secured to around her neck now broken.

Her mind was slow to keep up as her body immediately jumped into action, her eyes set firmly on the ring. Because there was a reason she was still here, still a ninja. An oath sworn to keep this dream alive. Their dream.

* * *

"_It's unfortunate there is nothing to be done to help you gain your own last name. But would you at least accept mine?"_

* * *

Tenten's hand was outstretched, fingertips ghosting over the metal just beyond her reach. Her vision has grown narrow, small. She could not hear the others calling out, warning her of the impending attacks. She didn't notice the burst of wind hurtling towards her back, nor Temari blocking it with her fan. Even Temari's switch to offense, snapping her weapon shut and slamming into the mask of that creature, slowed Tenten down. Only when the heat of the "fire mask's" flames bore down on her did she pull up short, as if the whole world suddenly expanded around her.

"Kaiten!"

The flames dissipated into harmless wisps of smoke. As Neji turned one last time, he caught the ring in one hand and Tenten's wrist in the other, yanking her close to him.

"You're completely hopeless," he chided, almost humorous in his exasperation.

"Neji, I—" Tenten felt oddly bereft of the right words to say, "I didn't mean—I'm sorry."

He casually slid her ring onto its proper place on her finger.

"There is no shame in defending what you hold dear," he replied, giving her a rather pointed look.

* * *

"_She has always been the one to make me a man without fear."_

* * *

"Neji…" Tenten murmured softly, cheeks pink.

"Tenten! That's—!" Lee stammered, looking positively stricken by the sight of a ring on her finger, "You, you're already…That means…"

"It's not what you think," she smiled gently.

"We'll tell you later," Neji added more tersely.

"Okay—Wait, what??"

"Later!" Tenten grinned as she turned her sights back to the "fire mask" with her sword safely in hand, "Now where were we…"

"Are you ready to play now, little girl?" Kakuzu sneered, "It's been a long time since I've been down to three hearts. You ought to do just fine as a replacement."

Tenten hadn't bothered to hold still as she took off running head-on towards her target. The creature lashed out with its tentacles, anticipating her path. It hadn't expected her to pull up abruptly and throw her sword forward as if it were a spear. Even with the unexpected attack, it moved to bat down the weapon. Tenten's growing smile did little to deter it. Though perhaps it should have been an indicator, for with a wave of her hand, the blade changed direction midair. The creature's arm had swung too widely to recover in time before the sword pierced its heart.

_That brat took advantage of the poor lighting to use wires. Was there anything that asshole Itachi _didn't _end up telling?_

_I'm down to two hearts now…It might be a wise idea to take the Two-Tail and run._

"Hey," Ino spoke quietly from her position behind Gaara and Shino, "I need you guys to keep him distracted for a little while longer. I've got an idea."

"What are you planning?" Shino responded in equally hushed tones, while Gaara merely glanced briefly at her.

Ino's eyes traveled to where Yugito was, still bound and silent.

"I'm gonna wake that girl up."

* * *

Hidan glared at the final kunai slamming into the wall, essentially trapping him in a web of explosive tags.

"Not gonna allow me to escape, eh?"

Shikamaru's shadow wavered and slowly crept backwards, away from the enemy. Hidan glanced at his feet as it receded.

"That shadow skill of yours probably lasts about five minutes, max. And on top of that, we're alone?"

Shikamaru didn't bother to hide his sense of unease as his shadow retreated completely.

"You have no idea how much that is in my favor, moron!" Hidan charged forward, his blade at the ready.

Shikamaru tried to shield himself with his arms instinctively as he stumbled back, blood flying with a swing of Hidan's weapon. He hit the dirt roughly with blood spilling down his cheek, his mask rolling lamely across the ground. Hidan's tongue danced along the wet blade, savoring the taste. His body shifted, changed, into something not entirely human. Black and grotesque, his face now that of a skull. Like a reaper, Shikamaru thought vaguely, before Hidan pierced his own hand. His blood hit the ground and he used his foot to shape it into an odd symbol, a triangle within a circle.

"All the preparations are complete," he pointed the blade at his own heart, "Now you die!"

* * *

Kakuzu charged forward, his last creature clearing the path for him.

"He's trying to run away!" Temari shouted, barely avoiding a blast of water.

"Ch'," Gaara sent his sand towards the monster, irritated such a bulky thing could evade his attacks so easily.

"Ino," Shino whispered, his bugs giving chase.

She said nothing, her hands in a triangle seal before her, with Yugito in her sights.

_Almost there…_

* * *

Hidan impaled himself through the chest, bleeding copious amounts everywhere. Shikamaru could only stare at him with surprised disgust.

_**This**__is how Asuma died? In such an awful way?_

"Heh. This is pathetic. Even Jashin-sama would be rolling in his grave," he eyed Shikamaru's body as it crumpled to the ground, before turning away from it, "Well, Kakuzu ought to be finished by now."

* * *

Kakuzu doubled over while clutching his chest.

"No…This shouldn't be possible…"

"It's exactly what we planned for," Lee spoke plainly, "I managed to give Shikamaru a sample of your blood, since we knew what kind of power Hidan had."

"There's no sense trying to underestimate a guy like Shikamaru," Temari added, leaning casually against her fan, "He knew just how he would kill you from the start."

_That asshole, he really did plan this from the start…_

* * *

Shikamaru glared up at Hidan from where he lay on the cold stone. It was time to finish this.

"I should get going," Hidan decided, though a sound from behind caught his attention, "Hmm?"

His eyes grew impossibly wide as he caught sight of a dagger coming towards his throat. Shikamaru swiped the blade across the man's neck, sending a shower of blood through the air along with Hidan's headband. Hidan slammed into the ground, slow to sit up with a gaping wound in his neck.

Shikamaru scowled. It was too shallow.

"Why are you…still alive…?"

"I was faking it," Shikamaru wiped the blood off his cheek with the back of his hand, revealing there was no cut, "That's not my blood all over your weapon. It's your partner's."

The look of shock on Hidan's face was one Shikamaru was certain he'd remember for a long time, he decided, as his shadow captured the guy again.

"Once we got a sample from him, all I had to do was trick you."

Of course, Hidan's natural response was to start laughing as he struggled to his feet.

"After getting caught by the same jutsu over and over again, even an idiot would figure out how it works. It ain't as strong as it was earlier, since I can move now. It becomes weaker every time you use it. And your chakra's gotta be at its limit, right?"

Shikamaru didn't reply, even after his knees gave out. He could only stare up at Hidan while the man brought his weapon down, his crazed laughter echoing through the cavern.

"Had you vowed your life to Jashin-sama, he just might have saved you. Unfortunately, even if you converted right now, he would never forgive you!"

Shikamaru reached up, as if to grab hold of the weapon before it struck. It took Hidan a moment to notice the shadows circling his wrist like fingers, holding his arm in place.

"I don't need your fucked up god's forgiveness," the shadows changed from hands to thread as they clung to the wires Shikamaru had strung up earlier, "Kageyose no jutsu!"

"Son of a bitch…" Hidan was now completely bound in place.

Shikamaru still had a hold of his dagger and through it to a spot marked with a circle with a line through it. His clan's mark. The blade hit the earth before it collapsed from the impact, leaving Hidan suspended above a bottomless abyss.

"What the fuck is this?!" he screamed, "When did you have time to set this up?"

"Just a little something I set up before I found you," Shikamaru answered blandly as he calmly gathered the items that had fallen out of his pockets earlier.

Hidan couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around this. Even if Itachi had been a complete and utter sell-out, for somebody to plan something out like this…This guy had intended to separate him from Kakuzu from the beginning. He wanted to fight him alone, all along.

"You dug that pit yourself," Shikamaru's voice was even, steady as he lit a cigarette, "When you killed my teacher…I didn't come out here to play around with you."

He turned, facing Hidan dead-on, with smoke curling around his face.

"That hole is your grave."

"Ha! I _can't_ die! Even if my body's destroyed and all that's left is my head, I'll find away to escape somehow. And when I do, I'll find you and bite your fuckin' throat out!"

"That's the thing about this," Shikamaru exhaled lazily, "When I'm through with you, I'm gonna kill the rest of the Akatsuki and then no one else will ever come out here. No one will ever find you. Our ancestors will keep watch over this place and keep you trapped here forever."

Shikamaru flinched, as if he'd felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and swore he saw Asuma standing by his side.

"You got him, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked warmly.

"Yeah…"

"Then we'll leave it to you," Chouji spoke from his other side.

_We entrust our Will of Fire to you._

Shikamaru smiled faintly as their images faded again into smoke.

_Goodbye, Sensei._

_Goodbye, Chouji._

He flicked the cigarette forward and it ignited the explosive tags with a fantastic bang.

"N-no fuckin' way. You actually got me," Hidan's head was a bloody mess at the bottom of the hole, "Jashin-sama _will_ punish you for this! You'll be the one to suffer when He brings his vengeance down upon you!"

"Your bullshit doesn't scare me. Ya see, you and I have very different beliefs. _I_ believe in the 'Will of Fire.' And you? Your 'Janshin-sama' is such crap. The only one bringing down vengeance is _me_."

Shikamaru tossed a kunai straight up, another explosive tag tied to it. A rain of rock descended down over Hidan.

"Don't you ever forget!" Hidan screamed, panicking, "Jashinism will spread, and the Lord will smite you. Got it?! And _I'll _be the one to carry out his judgment. I don't need a body to kill you! I'll bite you to death, motherfucker!!"

As it grew dark, the last thing Hidan saw was Shikamaru looking down at him with cold regard.

* * *

Kakuzu roared with abject fury.

"You'll pay for this! I'll rip your beating hearts right out of your chest!"

To be losing to a bunch a kids still wet behind the ears…How pathetic! He had to grab the jinchuuriki before he ran out of time.

His tentacles slithers back as he pulled Yugito away from the wall. He hadn't bothered to notice the blond girl hiding behind two of her teammates.

_Shintenshin no Jutsu!_

Ino let the familiar sensation wash over her as she left her body and prepared for the oddness she felt whenever she entered someplace new. Her body slumped over behind Gaara and Shino, however she certainly didn't find what was expected. There was some sort of shape taking up her entire field of vision, something old and overpowering. It opened its glowing eyes and stared back at her with feral animosity before its great mouth opened with a howl.

In reality, Ino screamed.

"What happened?" Shino knelt by her side.

"There—there's something in there. Something else…" she held her head as it throbbed, "Something not human…"

"Just as I thought," Gaara murmured.

Yugito opened her eyes, her pupils now thin vertical slits. The tentacles holding her in place seemed to burn away instantly and she hit the ground on all fours like a cat. A tremendous violet aura rolled off her body in waves.

Temari watched the whole ordeal with an odd sense of detachment.

_So she's one of…_

Kakuzu naturally realized there was no running from this now. What he needed was another heart. It was only at this point did he spot Ino sitting on the ground in an apparent daze.

"Ino!" Tenten shouted, already firing off another round of kunai.

Temari, meanwhile, jumped instinctively in front of the other girl. Because no matter what Shikamaru might say, Ino was still…

She braced her fan for the impact that never came. The tentacles fell flat without so much as a twitch.

Kakuzu stared down at his chest, which now had Yugito's arm through it.

"Didn't you know?" she snarled, "The Nekomata is a vengeful spirit. There will be no forgiveness for you, no mercy."

"Fucking jinchuuriki," he gasped out his last breath, "Would've been better off collecting a bounty for your head…"

She yanked her arm free and let his corpse hit the ground before her knees gave out.

There was a long pause in the wake of what just transpired before anyone could speak again.

"Um, are you okay, miss?" Lee finally ventured.

Yugito smiled weakly, tired.

"I didn't mean for you to see that," she replied, eyes downcast.

"It doesn't matter," Gaara replied flatly, earning a snort from her.

"Easy for _you_ to say. You don't have—"

"Don't presume anything."

Her head snapped up, eyes wide, before her expression softened.

"You, too?"

Gaara crossed his arms defensively, while Yugito stood on her wobbly legs and approached him.

"Yugito of the Cloud," she extended her hand, awkwardly hiding her bloodied one behind her back.

He stared unblinking at her outstretched hand before the sand tugged his own into action.

"Gaara of the Sand."

"I'm so glad you came," she admitted, not letting go, "He promised me you would."

"'He'?" Tenten asked, though she had a pretty good idea of who it was.

"There was a boy in the cell with me. He swore help would come. But he seemed to be in bad shape…"

"Don't worry about him," Neji stated.

"Right!" Lee joined in, "He _is_ our mission."

"Good," a long sigh, a breath of relief, "That's good."

* * *

Kankurou shot Sakura one last look of concern as they arrived at the cell. Sweat dripped from her chin, her breath short pants.

"Hey," he spoke in soft, grave tones, "You sure you can—?"

"How is he?" Sakura marched into the cell without preamble.

"About as stable as he's going to be," Hinata answered solemnly, "All the preparations are complete."

Sakura did a once over of the seal painted across the floor, across Sasuke's skin, to make sure not a stroke was made in error.

"Alright," she exhaled, pulling her hair back, "Let's get started."

She was slow to kneel, a hand pressed to her side.

"Sakura-chan…?" Naruto was no fool, not in this. Not when he could smell the blood, "—Hey! You're hurt!"

"I'm _fine_."

Naruto wasn't hearing what she had to say now. He remembered what she told him four years ago, instead.

* * *

"_What would the point be if I lost the both of you?!"_

* * *

"I can do this," she stated, finally looking up at Naruto with the most determined of expressions, "Just…just trust me, okay?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, feeling that twinge of magic that always came around when Team 7 was all in one place. That twinge of hope.

"Like I could ever _not_ trust you."

"…Fair enough," Sakura looked away, trying to hide her flattered smile.

That was, until her eyes locked with Hinata's. The girls nodded once at each other before placing their palms side by side against Sasuke. It was time for the ritual to commence.

Hinata activated the Byakugan, looking past the seals and skin and marrow, right down to the chakra coils. She let her own chakra flow from her hands like water, poured it into the tenketsu to wash away the poison. She pushed the seals she and Naruto had created into the coils only she could see; an esoteric antidote. All the while, Sakura worked around the same area to reconstruct the tissue and flesh that had been damaged. The ink (blood) drawn across Sasuke's skin melding into his body. They could afford no mistake. There was no margin for error.

Tandem healing such as this was nigh unspoken. It was forbidden, no matter who you asked. But to perform on both the body and its chakra network, healing both separately yet simultaneously, while conducting a sealing ritual was unheard of. No one had ever attempted this and, more than likely, never even _thought_ of it. It was, in theory, impossible.

Yet here they were. Together. One was not better than the other, one not more useful. There was no more insecurity, no more jealousy, no more inadequacy. There was only life. The life they were both saving.

They did not realize it now, could not. Their minds were far too intensely focused on their work. Their hearts far too set on doing exactly what they set out to do. But when this was over, win or lose, they would understand exactly how far they came to be here.

They would finally know they both had become great kunoichi.

* * *

"_Do you believe in God?"_

_The question cut through the silence with the weight of a heavy sword behind it. The other man remained still, watching the campfire with eyes that could not see it._

"_Admittedly, I haven't given it much thought."_

_Or to be put more bluntly, he did not like the answer he may reach if he did._

"_Then I don't suppose you have an idea of what might happen when we die?"_

"_Hmm…perhaps we come back."_

_A snort._

"_Reincarnation?" he spoke dubiously, "As what?"_

"_It wouldn't be so bad to have another try at this life…"_

"This _life?"_

"_Yes," he spoke with shaky breath that the other pointedly ignored, "Only it would be different."_

_There was no response to his words, as if to say anything more would spoil their chances of it coming true._

_A world where they could exist just as they were now, without the metal tang of war._

_They would remain safely within the land of their birth, surrounded by family that loved them honestly and unconditionally. There would be no motives or hidden agendas. With friends that never left, never had to._

_Everything would be whole again. They would make the right choices and no one would have to lose. They would never be afraid, and they would never be alone._

_All the same people, all the same people._

_But different._

_Next time would be different._

To be continued…


	24. Ch 24: Lost Children

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 24: Lost Children

Shikamaru was slow to return to the group, smoking as he made the walk back. An odd sense of relief had settled over him and he finally took a moment to study some information he'd gained on this mission. Or to be more specific, why Sasuke, after finally succeeding in getting his revenge, hadn't seemed particularly relieved after the ordeal.

And more importantly, why did the Akatsuki seem so certain Uchiha Itachi sold them out to his brother?

Was it possible the pair had reconciled after all that happened? And if they did, what prompted it? It seemed unlikely Sasuke would offer forgiveness to his family's murderer lightly. He was definitely missing a big piece of the puzzle. Once things were settled and Sasuke was presumably saved, would he finally be willing to talk?

Shikamaru wasn't even sure it was his business to ask.

He could hear voices so he had to be close to the others. Just as he was about to turn the corner, a white butterfly fluttered by before disappearing into the darkness.

"You still hanging around, Chouji?"

He remained still, staring after the butterfly even though he could no longer see it.

"Shikamaru?"

He looked over to see Ino waiting for him. She appeared to be shaken up by something, but didn't seem to have incurred any injuries.

"Did you…?"

"Yeah," he replied as he exhaled smoke, "I took care of it."

Her shoulders sagged as if a great burden had been removed from them.

"He would be proud," Ino spoke gently as she placed a hand on his arm.

"No. Asuma _is_ proud," he gave a weak smile as he put his arm around her.

"You're right," her voice wavered as she tried not to cry, "You're right."

They pulled apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Are you ready?" Neji asked.

"Sure. Let's get moving."

* * *

Kankurou constantly shifted his attention between the ritual and the doorway, anxious over the seeming lack of attention they seemed to be garnering from the Akatsuki.

_It's been too quiet. I doubt the others were able to pick off all of the enemies…_

He glanced again at the medics as they steadily worked on Sasuke. He took particular notice of Sakura, who had grown frighteningly pale as time passed. Considering how hard she pushed herself, despite her injuries, he couldn't fathom her lasting much longer in such a condition. Perhaps he might have spoken up, when he caught something flash by the corner of his eye. He looked back towards the open door and found a single white butterfly.

_A butterfly? Down here? I knew things were going too smoothly—_

"Sakura-chan!"

She was listing to the side, eyes rolling back, all the while chakra stubbornly flowing from her hands.

"You're gonna_die_ if you keep this up!" Naruto pleaded with her, "Can't you rest for a little bit?"

He couldn't bring himself to ask if Sasuke would be okay if she stopped. Not that he would have gotten an honest answer from her, but if they _both_ ended up dying…Naruto could not allow himself to think these things, let alone say them.

"I didn't come this far to quit," her voice sounded distant as Naruto helped her sit up; her bleary eyes tried to stay focused on the jutsu.

"Then use _my_ chakra!" Naruto demanded, "We all know I've got plenty to spare."

Sakura didn't say anything at first. Her mind was too busy calculating the impact it would have on the ritual.

"We can do it," Hinata advised slowly, "It will be difficult to maintain stability, but it can be done."

"Just tell me what I need to do," Naruto waited for Sakura's word.

"…Put your hands on top of mine."

Naruto did as he was told and the result was instantaneous. The glow of chakra intensified, almost blindingly so, and Hinata tried not to visibly wince from the heat. And just as Hinata had stated, Sakura was finding it hard to maintain her flawless chakra control. Naruto's energy was overwhelming.

Kankurou remained the silent observer, uncomfortable with the fact that there wasn't anything for him to do. But more so, it felt awkward to bear witness to the sheer desperation of these people. People, in all honesty, that he didn't know particularly well. To watch them struggle so much to save this one life made him feel quite the outsider. After all, he had accepted this mission for his brother's sake. And he certainly wasn't doing much for Gaara's cause while standing by idly.

But his observation was a correct one. Naruto was desperate. He had yet to feel any accomplishment on this mission. He certainly hadn't taken out any Akatsuki members, as Sakura clearly had. He hadn't been the one to draw Sasuke back from the brink as Hinata had. Granted Sasuke wasn't out of the woods yet, and Naruto was trying his damnedest to make sure Sasuke did survive, but there had to be something more he could do. Something more than paint seals and letting the girls draw from his seemingly infinite well of chakra.

The constant worries leaked through his very being, turning his chakra from pale blue to fiery red.

"Naruto, we'll make it through this. You've gotta cool it," Kankurou attempted to mollify him, "The Akatsuki are—"

A swarm of butterflies abruptly hovered around the doorway.

—_going to notice us._

"Fuck."

He glanced back at Naruto uneasily, realizing either he didn't notice the "visitor," or was blatantly ignoring the presence in favor of helping Sasuke. He exhaled sharply before approaching the threshold alone.

Konan stood in the hallway, or rather, floated as a limbless specter as sheets of stark paper danced through the air around her. Kankurou could only offer a bemused sort of smile before he spoke.

"Sorry, this is private," he stated plainly, "Nobody invited you."

She didn't reply right away. Kankurou imagined perhaps she was thinking up the sort of witty retort powerful enemies like her always seemed so fond of.

"You're in my way," she replied crisply, "Move aside."

"Ch'," Kankurou quickly came to accept this was a no-nonsense sort of woman, "You know I'm not gonna do that."

She chose not to say anything this time. Instead, the paper surrounding her folded into shuriken and took their aim at him. In a heartbeat, he had Karasu at the ready and it flew apart at its joints. The puppets many blades ripped the weapons into shreds. The paper, in turn, merely changed direction and rained down as countless razor-edged shards. Kankurou had no choice but to evade, dodging and rolling away as the blades rained down on him. And while he managed to avoid any serious injury, he still suffered a number of cuts.

He rose to his feet cautiously while rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand, smearing his face paint red.

"I've no interest in you," her voice was calm, gentle almost, "Move aside."

Kankurou scowled up at her. Her brusque manner about the situation angered him more than anything else.

"Do you really think I'll stand by and do nothing against the people looking to kill my comrade? Against the people looking to kill my _brother_?"

"Even though you will die if you continue this fight?" she paused, seemingly thoughtful, "We only want what is inside of him. I can't change the fact that jinchuuriki die from the process."

"You bitch!"

Konan turned her head just as Karasu released a cloud of poison gas.

* * *

"Naruto," Sakura's voice cracked like rustling leaves.

"I know," his eyes kept darting between the open door and the eerie pallor of Sakura's face as chakra reflected against it, "But I can't just_leave_ you."

Or _him_.

"It's the Hokage's duty to protect _everyone_," she raised her eyes briefly, just enough to shoot him a rather pointed look.

The red chakra seemed to grow diluted before fading away from the flow.

"We'll be okay," Hinata added, "You have my word."

_And you know I will never go back on my word._

Naruto rose slowly, concerned by how pale the glow of energy became without his presence. He paused only briefly to brush a stray hair from Sasuke's face.

_I won't let you down._

He came to a halt once more, glancing over his shoulder at the medics as they carried on with their work.

_I won't let any of you down._

At last he strode into the hallway, head held high.

"So," he crossed his arms in a casual gesture, "I hear you're looking for me?"

Konan's eyes drifted over to him as the last of the poison dissipated. The sheet of paper that had shielded her nose and mouth fell away with natural ease. She did not seem particularly concerned by this turn of events.

Kankurou, despite having learned enough about Naruto to know of his bold ways, was surprised to see him standing out in the open. To him, it seemed Naruto was on this mission solely because it involved Sasuke. The Akatsuki seemed so…secondary in his priorities. He just hoped whatever scheme Naruto had in mind didn't backfire. Assuming, of course, that Naruto actually had a plan.

"You should come along quietly," she advised plainly.

Naruto replied with a harshly thrown kunai. It did no more than graze her cheek before imbedding itself within the stone wall, but he was fairly certain it got his message across. Whatever the situation in life, Uzumaki Naruto did not go anywhere quietly.

Konan responded with a wave of her hand and paper neatly replaced the gouge in her cheek.

"So she can't be poisoned _or_ cut," Kankurou muttered, before looking over at Naruto in alarm as a red chakra tail took shape.

"Then I'll_shred_ her."

Konan appeared decidedly unperturbed by the display of raw, uncontrolled power, and did little to express any thoughts she may have had on the matter. Not even after several kage bunshin appeared. Not even after a pair of them began to form a Rasengan.

_Right out in the open…?_

The other clones came at her with fists and blades, attacks she smoothly avoided. Each one popped into puffs of smoke easily and not even Kankurou's added efforts with Karasu did little to deter her.

One would think being able to see the attack would have enabled her to dodge it. Instead, the jutsu caught her in the chest. Her body seemed to hover weightlessly in the air as the Rasengan threw her back. That was, until her body dispersed into countless paper birds.

"Damn, it's a fake!" Kankurou snarled, pulling at his puppet sharply.

She reformed behind Naruto and his bunshin with a paper sword in hand and sliced through them cleanly.

"Naruto!"

Naruto stumbled before he, too, disappeared into smoke.

"Fuuton: Rasenshuriken!"

Naruto charged out from his hiding place within the prison cell, Kyuubi chakra absent, with Konan's back exposed to him. She, however, backflipped over his rushing body to avoid the hit. His attack gave out just as his hand hit the adjacent wall with a crack. It sent fissures across the rock and the ceiling shook violently, raining debris down on them.

"That was too close," Kankurou scowled, grateful the jutsu hadn't been at full strength when it connected, "You could've brought the whole place down—!"

Konan had been unfazed by the attack and continued her advance, flying through the air with paper wings. Kankurou hurriedly attached his chakra strings to pull Naruto to safety. Unfortunately for him, just as he got Naruto out of the way, the red chakra chose to return. And this time, it formed with a second tail. It burned fiercely, scorching the chakra strings as well as Kankurou's hand as he tried to disconnect. He pulled his hand to his chest, gritting his teeth through the pain.

"…Naruto?"

Naruto only glared at him with red eyes, fangs bared, before returning his attention to Konan.

* * *

The girls carried on with their endeavor, trying to ignore the battle just beyond the door. Hinata bit her lip as sweat poured down her face and left her hair stuck to her skin.

_Naruto-kun…_

Her vision was proving to be a burden for once as she could see beyond the wall. As she watched the Fox Cloak take over Naruto's body. How she wished she could call out to him, ground him, as he had for her during the Chuunin Exam all those years ago. But she could not. She would remain silent and use all her energy to save Sasuke, just as she vowed she would. A ninja did not show any emotion during a mission…right?

However, her eyes now told her of something she could not ignore.

"…Sakura-san?"

Blood began to stream from Sakura's nose and it didn't appear she noticed it, let alone heard Hinata.

"Sak—"

"Just keep at it," Sakura ground out, "…please."

Sakura stubbornly ignored the warm wetness on her face, the burning behind her eyes, the burning in her gut.

_C'mon, body, stay together. You've gotta keep working. Just keep me alive…_

* * *

Konan observed the scene from above with wings still unfurled.

"I hadn't realized Jiraiya-sensei had taught that jutsu to someone else," she commented off-handedly.

Those words seemed to suck the energy from Naruto's very bones; his tails disappeared into air.

"…Why did you call him 'sensei'?"

"Oh? Did he not tell you about his other students?" she asked blandly, "I suppose after teaching the one who would become known as the Fourth Hokage, we must seem rather…unimportant."

"You're lying," Naruto growled, "He would never just—just—"

"'Just' what? Abandon us? Lie and say we never existed?" she did not raise her voice, though the violent stirrings of the paper were rather telling, "It would certainly be rather convenient, to forget. Forget that he left his own students poor and alone in a war zone."

"But he had to have a reason!" just like he had a reason to hide Sasuke's return to Konoha, "He wouldn't have just _left_ you!"

_He wouldn't just hide you from me, either._

"How naïve," even her sneer seemed flat, "I imagine he must regret not taking Orochimaru's advice all those years ago to kill us before things got out of hand. Consequence is a terrible weight to bear."

"How dare you try and blame him for all the things you've done!" Naruto shouted, the air around him tinged red, "You _chose_ to become a murderer!"

"You'll understand soon enough," she continued on calmly, "Jiraiya-sensei is smart enough to likely realize where you are, and yet he has not come. He _will_ _not_ come."

Naruto was ready to argue that he wasn't looking for anyone to save him, but the words grew hesitant in his throat. He couldn't ignore the falling out he'd had with Jiraiya. The sting of secrets kept still burned; they hadn't spoken a word since their argument. Though that was mostly due to the fact the Naruto had made a point of avoiding Jiraiya at all costs. Part of him wondered now if his teacher chose not come because they never reconciled…

"We didn't come here to listen to your life story," Kankurou spoke up, "Why are doing all of _this_? Why are you collecting the bijuu?"

Konan's eyes shifted to the empty space behind them.

"Because it is God's will."

A chameleon summon materialized behind the pair. They turned quickly as its mouth opened and a rather human hand reached out. It took hold of Naruto's arm and yanked him inside. The jaw shut tightly before the summon faded from sight.

"Damn it!" Kankurou whirled around to face Konan again, "Goddamn it!!"

Konan merely pressed her hand to her ear.

"Konan," came the voice over the radio.

"Yes?"

"Take care of the other problem."

"Yes."

Rather than continue her fight with Kankurou, she flew towards the open cell and never looked back. Not even to see Karasu after it was sent in pursuit. Instead another barrage of paper weapons drove Kankurou back. Only one slipped past his defenses, but it was a costly one. A dagger pierced his wrist and pinned it to the wall before it reshaped itself into a shackle to hold him in place.

There was nothing more he could do in this fight. One hand was burned and useless from the Kyuubi chakra, the other was immobile. All he could do now was give warning.

"Hyuuga! Sakura!!"

* * *

"Hinata," Sakura's voice had grown so small.

"I don't think we have a choice," Hinata replied sullenly.

If they halted the ritual early, they would lose Sasuke. But if they didn't fight, they would all be killed. Both girls briefly looked one another in the eye as they prepared to disengage at the same moment. Sakura's hands trembled with indecision. Things couldn't just end like this. She couldn't just let Sasuke die, not after coming so close.

That was when the shadow cast itself over them from the threshold.

* * *

Tsunade idly shuffled cards from her chair next to Anko's bed. She'd been playing solitaire for a while now, for wont of anything else to do. She hated this, hated all this waiting. But it was better than sitting home in the dark drinking herself stupid, she supposed. Once Jiraiya had departed, she couldn't stand downing the bitterness alone. And while she hoped all those kids wouldn't do anything foolish, she prayed he didn't do anything even more foolish.

'Tsunade-sama?" Shizune entered, voice soft to avoid waking Anko, "There's a call for you."

Tsunade kept herself from anxiously asking if it was news on the missing ninja.

"Who is it?"

"They didn't say…"

Tsunade strode purposefully to the front desk to answer the call.

"Tsunade-hime?" a woman's voice spoke on the other end, seemingly muffled by something.

"Who is this?"

"There's poison in the root."

"Excuse me?"

There was no answer; the line had already gone dead.

"Is everything okay?" Shizune asked while Tsunade hung up.

She didn't respond, already busy trying to understand what exactly that call was about.

_Poison in the root…Could it be…? It's got to be the Anbu Root. What's ol' Danzou up to now, of all time?_

"Shizune, keep an eye on Anko. I'll be in my office."

* * *

_When he was young, in the years after the incident, he used to leave the radio on and turn on all the lights before he went to bed. He would lie there and imagine there were other people in the house. Imagine that he wasn't so completely and utterly alone. Imagine that everything and everyone hadn't been stolen from him._

_As he got older, he could no longer maintain this ritual. Especially while he spent those long years locked in the dark._

_Now that he is free from that place, the other man always keeps a candle lit throughout the night. And he knows that man has no need for it._

_As he lies awake, he stares intently at the flame and remembers how deeply he has longed for light._

To be continued…


	25. Ch 25: Wrath of the Gods

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 25: Wrath of the Gods

Naruto was trapped in heat and in darkness. There was a hand gripping the back of his neck as a warning not to move. For one brief moment, he forgot Sasuke and Sakura. Forgot his friends and his home. He was deathly afraid only for himself.

For one brief moment.

* * *

Sakura knew Hinata was waiting for her to severe the connection (bond), being herself unwilling to let things end like this. And she could hear the rustle of paper, muted as it was beyond the rushing in her head. But all Sakura could notice was the stuttering rise and fall of Sasuke's chest. The gentle calmness of his face.

_He'll go quietly, as if sleeping. He won't feel any pain. He won't __**have**__ to feel pain again…_

Such bittersweet mercy.

She always knew she might lose him. And even though she knew she had no choice in it now, she could not bear to say goodbye. Not like this. Certainly not without Naruto here with her. With them. Team 7.

She gave up so much just to be strong (for Sasuke-for Naruto) and her hands would not take their leave. They kept pouring the feeble remains of her chakra into Sasuke, each second making it so much harder to stop. She leaned forward with bleary eyes trying to stay focused on her work. She was close to him, close enough for their cheeks to almost touch. She thought of all the things she wanted so badly to say, wanted him to know.

Her lips ghosted over his forehead and the words she whispered were the only words she could ever place with Sasuke and goodbyes.

"Thank you."

"Don't stop!"

The voice called out and forced the girls to remain still, connected. A rush of air at Sakura's back made her realize they were no longer alone with the Akatsuki.

"Fear not, Sakura-san," it was Lee standing in Konan's way, "I've become that man."

* * *

"_The lotus of Konoha blooms twice. When I stand before you again, I will be a stronger man."_

* * *

Sakura could not think of any words to say in response, especially not with her wrist being held so tightly. Ino made sure Sakura and Hinata didn't budge an inch, lest they lose hold of their jutsu amidst all the commotion.

"Don't you dare think about quitting, Forehead," Ino chastised, "This is_Sasuke-kun's_ life that's on the line."

"Ino," Sakura sniffed, desperately trying not to cry in front of her. Because she wasn't the same crybaby from childhood anymore, right?

"Shh, we're here now," Ino sobered and took note of Sakura's poor condition, Hinata's sheer exhaustion, "We've got your back. So go ahead and show me you're better than the Cosmos, okay?"

* * *

"_I thought it would be a waste if you ended as a bud. A flower is meaningless unless it blooms, right? And it could grow into a flower even more beautiful than a Cosmos."_

* * *

"…_Ino_," Sakura's voice barely carried over the chaos at her back. Her traitorous eyes inadvertently tried to look towards the girl in question. Ino merely tilted Sakura's chin away with the press of her index finger.

"Didn't I just tell you we'll cover you?" Ino held her hands out, palms down, "I've got a good amount of chakra left to burn, so take what you need and finish up already!"

It was odd, morbidly comical even, the sound of a body being audibly struck by paper. Sakura knew Lee was right behind her, shielding her. Not that she would (could) turn away from Sasuke to look. Not that Ino would let her. She and Hinata kept their concentration on their work, the glow of Ino's chakra burning bright and clear.

Though Hinata was not so hindered by the limits of peripheral vision, not with her eyes. She watched the battle unfold just beyond the painted ring of the ritual ground. She would not allow herself to look farther than that. Not into the hallway, where she knew Naruto would not be. Not deeper into the cave, where she knew Naruto would be (in danger).

So she watched Shino and Lee counter Konan's advances, though they could do little in retaliation. Lee could not break her bones. Shino's bugs could not eat away at her flesh. Konan was a spectacularly unfortunate opponent for them to face as she simply reshaped herself after every blow. And Hinata did nothing more than watch Shino skid back after dodging another barrage. He crouched down on one knee somewhere behind Ino, oh-so-careful to avoid disrupting the healers.

"How much time do you need?" he asked briskly.

Fighting in close quarters was always a challenge. Doing so when you had to be exceedingly cautious of the three girls that had their throats proverbially bared as they carried on with the jutsu nearly required a miracle.

Hinata and Sakura silently assessed their progress and calculated just how far they had to go. It was not so different than being struck by lightning, the jolt that pulsed through them when they understood how close they were.

"Five minutes," they responded in muted harmony.

This was not such a long time, not in the mind of a medic, though it did not quite hold true for those fighting. Five minutes was a terribly long while to keep up with a powerful opponent.

"Then we should finish this in four," Shino decided.

Hinata, nor anyone else, needed respond. Not after the chain of events that transpired. She watched an object arc through the air, a canister of some sort. A shuriken followed and sliced the lid open to drench Konan in thick, dark oil. After the momentary surprise passed, Konan came to realize her skin had grown quite stiff and immobile beneath the sticky substance. It felt not so dissimilar to blood against her finger tips, she faintly decided.

* * *

In the hall, Kankurou's hand despite the burns and spasms, remained poised after the throw. Temari was rapidly wrapping bandages around his other wounded wrist now that it was free from its restraints.

"Oil," he grumbled, "Always got it with me to keep the puppet joints loose…Never would've thought of that."

"You okay?" Temari pointedly ignored his frustration at not realizing how to counter Konan's abilities.

"Forget me," he snapped, "They got _Naruto._"

Gaara's shoulders visibly jerked when he heard the news.

"Where did they take him?" Gaara's words were clipped and brittle.

"Ran off that way," Kankurou gestured with a shaking hand, "Using some kinda cloaking summon—"

Gaara raced off in that direction, Yugito chasing after him in close pursuit.

"Gaara, wait!" Temari called after him, though refrained from following. Her eyes frantically sought out Shikamaru. He was the only one aside from herself that had truly studied who would be waiting when they found Naruto.

"It'll take six of us," Shikamaru exhaled the words heavily. Neji and Tenten nodded, prepared to follow Shikamaru wherever he told them to go. Prepared to leave without Lee with the hope he wouldn't do anything (too) stupid without them to look after him.

"Sorry, Kankurou," Temari offered brusquely, attempting to appear unaffected.

"Just go fetch our little brother before he gets himself into trouble," he replied with a weak grin, "They're gonna need me here soon enough."

* * *

Lee made sure to keep Konan on the defensive. Even though his limbs burned with exhaustion, he wouldn't dare give her the opening to let her use a Suiton jutsu to wash away the oil. She was an enemy that could be beaten now.

Sakura could tell this had to have been what was going on based on what she could hear. She made herself listen to every detail just to keep herself conscious enough to finish the ritual. She was so close now. So, so close. And even so.

"Ino," she murmured, "If you need to go…"

…_follow Shikamaru…_

"I'm rather content to stay right where I am, thank you very much," she replied in her usual haughty tone, even as she glanced briefly to see Shikamaru's hand brush against Temari's shoulder as they departed, "They're not the ones who need me."

_I'm not the one __**he**__ needs. Not now._ _And maybe perhaps I never was…?_

"…Ino?" Sakura's voice seemed as if it echoed from far away.

"Hmm?"

Sakura didn't respond immediately. There was the crash of a body against stone, causing more bits of rock to rain from the ceiling. There was the roaring buzz of insects.

"Keep talking," Sakura all but ordered.

Even with such a request, Ino had trouble conjuring words as she stared at Sakura's pale, pale face. The drizzle of blood trailing from her nose and catching against her chin.

"You're such a worrywart," Ino chided with forced cheer, "Everything's going to work out fine. Just you wait 'til this is all over and we go home. You'll get your medic's license and then we'll plan on making jounin. You'll be an amazing doctor by then, so naturally Sasuke-kun will marry you—"

"Ino!" Hearing those words (secret, secret thoughts) out loud was almost enough to disrupt Sakura's chakra flow.

"Just focus on the jutsu—Like I was saying, you'll get married and I'll be your maid of honor. You'll have bunches of kids and I'll be like a doting aunt to them. And when we're old and gray, we would have had so many good years we won't even remember there was a time when we didn't talk. We won't remember ever being scared. Got it?"

Sakura said nothing, too consumed with wishing for her blurry eyes to clear.

"I like that ending," Hinata added so softly, Ino wondered if she had imagined it.

"...Yeah," Sakura spoke with quivering tones, "Our own fairy tale."

* * *

Konan frowned in distaste as bugs clung to the oil on her skin as if she were now made of flypaper. If she were one for humor, she might have found it funny to notice how close to the truth this was. But she was not one for humor.

Not that she really had the time to contemplate such things. Not when the two she was fighting would not grant the opportunity for such things.

"Why do you continue with this fight?" Shino asked in his regular bland voice, "There is no jinchuuriki here for you to gain."

"Is it because Sasuke-kun's brother leaked your secrets?" Lee jumped in. That was a mystery no one seemed very keen on clarifying.

"Oh, him?" Konan dodged Lee's kick, "No, it has nothing to do with that."

"Then why are you attempting to kill Uchiha?" Shino continued his questions as his bugs leeched her chakra, "Or is he still bait meant to stall us?"

"He is not my concern," she answered plainly, "I am only doing as I was ordered."

"You don't even know _why_ you're fighting?" Lee sounded incredulous.

Konan's eyes grew shuddered for a moment, the slightest of tells, as she avoided another attack. Both had a strong feeling there was something she wasn't telling them. Regardless of what she said, her objective certainly seemed to be reaching Sasuke.

And suddenly she charged forward with speed they hadn't anticipated from her, considering her limited mobility. But she darted between the pair as a kunai slid into her palm from beneath the folds of her robe. Perhaps, she would soon realize, she should have known something was wrong when neither of them called out a warning to the girls.

The three remained still as they kneeled by Sasuke with hands outstretched. But as she brought her blade around in an arching swipe, she did not see the telltale glow of chakra pouring from their hands any longer. Her kunai barely skimmed over Ino's hair as Ino collapsed back on herself with the soles of her feet pressing into her back. Sakura fell forward as a protective shield over Sasuke's body. The brief distraction of motion caught Konan's attention just enough as Hinata sprang over the huddled bodies with an outstretched hand. Her palm struck Konan squarely in the chest and the two remained frightfully still.

It was the longest of breaths before Hinata's hand slowly retreated to her side. Konan remained frozen in place, too stunned to even blink, before blood slid past her lips. Another gasp of air and Konan slipped to the ground as if crumpled paper. Hinata made to step around her as her knees turned inward, an apparition from her nervous youth, before she listed to the side. Shino was quick to catch her by the arm and kept her on her feet. The jarring movement drew her hair loose from its tie and it fell behind her as spilled ink.

"You should rest," he advised, "It's over now."

"No…" she panted, head shaking side to side.

_Not when Naruto-kun is…_

Shino was never one for many words and merely tugged Hinata's arm around his shoulders to support most of her weight.

Ino, meanwhile, pulled herself back into a kneeling position. Not so much out of concern for Hinata's well-being, though she was very much worried. But rather, she thought she heard Sakura mumble something. It was hard to tell if she said anything at all while she lay prone against Sasuke. There was something about that image that made something in Ino's chest feel tight…

"You need something, Forehead?" Ino asked casually. It wouldn't do for her to act so cool in front of Sakura, then collapse into a ball of nerves. Not when she had both Sakura and Hinata depending on her.

"…I missed you," Sakura whispered, repeated really, glancing up at Ino from the corner of her eye.

Ino's reply was mostly an exasperated sigh.

"Idiot, I'm right here!" and then softly, "I've always been right here."

"I'm sor—!"

"Stop," Ino spoke in unfamiliar, stern tones, "We already decided we have a lot of years before we're old, right?"

_A lot of years to forget we hurt each other. A lot of years to set things right._

"…Right…"

Sakura needed to keep Ino talking. It was growing so hard to stay awake, especially with Sasuke's faint, faint heartbeat pulsing against her ear. It was a gentle, lulling sound that made her body ache with the need to rest. Sasuke was safe now, right? Surely she could close her eyes for just a moment. And perhaps she was just dreaming that Ino was calling her name now?

"We should get them out of here," Ino suggested to Lee and Kankurou. Both the boys looked like they could stand to get somewhere far away from this damnable cave. But Sasuke and Sakura…Sakura was wilting before their eyes. And Sasuke? No one was even sure he would ever regain consciousness—

"Lee-san?" Sakura called out feebly as she gained momentary lucidity.

"Are you okay, Sakura-san?" Lee knelt down beside her.

"…Naruto," her body trembled with effort as she attempted to stand. There was somewhere else she needed to be, right? "We have to find him."

Lee frowned. He understood perfectly well her desire to help her friend in need, but she was in no condition to face what would be waiting for them.

"I came here for my _team_," Sakura pleaded in the softest of voices, "I know what the odds are. But if I'm going to fail, then I will fail with my team."

_If I leave now without Naruto, Sasuke-kun would never forgive me._

Lee and Ino exchanged glances while doing their best not to grow anxious for their own teammates.

"You have put me in a tough situation, Sakura-san," she was too startled to say anything as Lee hoisted her onto his back, "I cannot even begin to call myself a man if I turn down the request of a woman in need."

If Sakura hadn't been so tremendously overwhelmed by the day's events, she probably would have laughed. Though Lee said nothing as her tears soaked his shoulder.

* * *

Konan's world had grown dark and still. She could only spot a mere pinpoint of light that seemed so far away. It felt as if she was floating towards it and she could make out faint shapes as she approached.

"So you've been here all this time?" she whispered, "I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

* * *

Naruto pulled away the first chance he got, clawed fingers slashing out wildly. He stumbled forward as his eyes adjusted to the firelight after being contained within the dark. He spun sharply to face his attacker with little care for how red his eyes became. The man that stood before him had long blonde hair pulled back tightly, though part of it was left to drift over the side of his face. Though the most striking feature was the black, bolt-like piercings driven through his face.

"You better be ready for a fight," Naruto growled, " 'Cause I sure as hell ain't gonna just lay down and die."

"It's only natural you would struggle," the man responded, "It is the normal reaction for a mere person to have when faced with a being such as myself."

He gestured to something behind Naruto, who in turn was hesitant to look back and expose himself to a possible attack from behind. But more so, he could feel _it_ pulse. Or rather, _them_. Reluctant as he was, Naruto glanced back slowly before turning around completely to stare at the monstrous statue looming over him. Instinctively he knew what it was. What it held. What it meant for him.

'That thing," Naruto had trouble pulling the words from his throat, "You weren't given a chance to be a ninja for _this_."

"Hmm, perhaps. Perhaps not," Pain seemed to contemplate Naruto's words for a moment, "Though Jiraiya-sensei was not around to say one way or the other. But then again, he might have been in agreement if he had stayed to see what became of Rain Country."

"So is that all this is?" Naruto shouted back, "_Revenge?!_"

Naruto had grown quite tired of that word.

"No, nothing so shallow," Pain replied blandly, "This is an act of God passing on his knowledge to the world. And the world shall be molded by pain and suffering, as I was."

"God? You're a fucking psycho!"

_One that I'll have to take down on my own. There's nobody else here to save the day this time. And if I fail, I'm not the only one that's gonna suffer._

* * *

Naruto traveled the well-walked paths as water curled around his ankles.

"Hey!" he called out into the distance, "Wait for me!"

As he raced closer, the blurred silhouettes became clearer. He could see Sasuke and Sakura walking side by side as they moved further away from him.

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke!" the water rushed in and drove him back, "Don't go!"

The pair merely kept walking, evidently unable to hear Naruto yelling for them. All his other words were cut off by the water that now choked him. The images of his teammates floated away into the darkness.

_I won't let you leave me behind._

He let the current carry him forward, and even when he reached the prison bars, he allowed himself to pass through without protest.

"Took you long enough, brat."

* * *

Pain stood by quietly as Naruto's body lurched forward and fell onto all fours. There were already three fiery chakra tails swaying as Naruto's skin peeled away. His blood, rather than spill onto the floor, rose up and formed a dark cocoon around his body. Any bits of skin that still floated in the air turned to ash when it touched the black edges of the sphere forming around him.

Pain watched the scene rather dispassionately.

_So this is the vaunted power of the Kyuubi…_

When the cocoon burst and the shockwaves died down, Pain was left staring at a four-tailed creature: a miniature fox demon.

"You would choose to become such a monster just to compete with one such as I? What a pitiful child."

Pain went through the familiar motion of summoning and called upon a cerebus. When the beastly multi-headed dog came close to Naruto, it only took one sweep of his "paw" to burn the creature to dust. Pain's mouth quirked into the faintest of smirks at the display. No, he could not say he was troubled by this immense power. Being who he was, he had no need to fear such a being. Not even as droplets of chakra began to accumulate in the air at the direction of the four tails, shaping themselves into one solid mass.

Naruto's jaw seemed to unhinge itself as he forced the black ball of chakra down his own throat. His whole body swelled with the weight of so much condensed energy before he fired a blast with a horrific roar.

Pain did not move, but summoned another being instead. A large body, human in appearance stood before him with the same ringed eyes staring back just as the blast struck.

Naruto sat back on his "haunches,' poised to strike at any given moment. His eyes narrowed as he stared into the smoke to see what became of his opponent. Amidst the haze and debris, amidst the shower of rock, the air was thick with blood. It rather appeared the body meant as Pain's shield was blown apart by the explosion.

* * *

The very foundation of the cave shook violently with the force of the explosion. None of the ninja had time to even yell out warnings before the ceiling fell around them. It took several racing heartbeats before anyone could even registered they weren't buried beneath the stone.

"What…Gaara!" Temari called out once she realized the sand was protecting them.

Gaara grit his teeth as he tried to keep the rocks from crushing the group. He guided his sand with painstakingly slow motions before dumping the rocks around them. Tenten exhaled heavily as she looked up at where the ceiling once was. She could see beams of late afternoon sun spilling through the holes overhead.

"Damn it!" Yugito yelled.

The path before them was now blocked by seemingly immovable stones.

"Neji, is it safe to clear them?" Shikamaru asked warily.

"It…" Neji was looking well beyond the blockage, witnessing something he wished he could unsee, "It will take some time to move them without causing the rest of this place to come down on us."

"We don't have time," Gaara muttered, feeling the pull of the Kyuubi chakra in the distance.

"Then let's get to it," Temari and Yugito were already clearing away the rocks.

* * *

Lee braced one hand against the wall while keeping Sakura steady on his back.

"What was _that_?"

Hinata already activated the Byakugan and she, too, wished she hadn't looked.

"Naruto-kun," she gasped, "_Naruto-kun!_"

She pulled away from Shino and stumbled forward before forcing herself to run.

"Hinata, wait!" Ino followed in pursuit. The others fell into step behind her. Lee couldn't think of anything to say as Sakura's hand took a tight grip of his shirt.

_Naruto, don't you dare die on me._

* * *

Kakashi ran along the riverbank, following the trail the Twelve left behind. He could hear the explosion echoing from the northwest. He was close now and could only pray that he would actually be on time for once when it mattered.

* * *

Jiraiya was far closer, thanks to the map Kabuto gave him. He didn't have time to contemplate the motive involved, but it certainly proved itself to be accurate. He stood on the cliff on the opposite side of the river looking down on the cave. He'd passed Zetsu's mangled corpse just moments before so at least he could take comfort in the fact that the kids seemed to have some idea of what they were doing. But if that heavy chakra in the air was any indication, it was safe to say that Naruto was not fairing well.

_That fool…I warned him not to take it that far!_

The thought was soon crushed by a heavier notion. Just how bad had things gotten inside to drive Naruto to that point?

"Well, I suppose it's time for me to drag my wayward student home."

* * *

Though even in such a state as this, there were some things neither Naruto nor the Kyuubi could prepare for.

"It's certainly been a while, fox."

Within Naruto's subconscious, within the prison that held the fox, a new figure stood before it. Naruto peered out between the bars to see who had arrived, somehow feeling groggy and detached from what was occurring. He knew without even getting a good look at the person that it was not the same one he'd been fighting.

"_You_," the Kyuubi growled, "You would dare to show your face before me again?"

"Why wouldn't I. It's not as if you have any power over me."

"Who are you?" Naruto tried to shout, but his words barely made it past his mouth. Somehow he felt more afraid of this person than any other opponent he had faced today.

"_That_ is a being with a chakra even more sinister than my own," Kyuubi spat, "Uchiha Madara."

"Uchiha?!" Naruto yelled, "That can't be! Sasuke's the only Uchiha left!"

He tried to see the Sharingan concealed behind the peculiar orange mask the man wore.

_Sasuke never told us there was another Uchiha in the Akatsuki. It can't be true!_

"Oh? So he never told you of me? Well, he knew by a different name anyway," Madara paused for a moment, "Though surely Itachi must have said something when he ratted out the Akatsuki to Konoha."

"Uchiha Itachi," the name left a sour feeling in Naruto's stomach, "Why would a traitorous murderer like him tell us anything?"

"Because he was the one sent to stop me."

Naruto's knees shook violently as he sank down into the water.

"Because he was the one who knew the true power of the Uchiha Clan," Madara extended a hand and the Kyuubi seemed to dematerialize with one final roar, "The ability to bend the Kyuubi to our will."

* * *

In the real world, Naruto's body collapsed to the ground. His skin was left red and raw after sustaining the burns it incurred to support four tails.

"Convenient," Madara commented, "That restorative ability of yours."

He gestured to the "fat" Pain body that now stood by completely intact, along with his five other forms.

"We shall begin the extraction now," Pain spoke with a face that once belonged to a young boy from Rain Country. He'd been known by a different name then.

"Very well…Though I would not count on Konan to contribute," Madara added.

"…I see."

The six took positions upon the statue with hands outstretched.

* * *

Tsunade sat at her desk with her fingers steepled in front of her face. She was taking a huge risk by calling for an investigation such as this at a time such as this.

"You sent for me, Hokage-sama?"

The body of an Anbu member seemed to grow from the floor.

"I did," she sat back in her chair, "I felt you were the person best suited for the job."

"I'm honored," he replied smoothly, "How might I be of service?"

"Earlier today, I received a phone call that provided rather disturbing information," she explained, though was smart enough to leave out all the important details, "I have no doubt this person is quite skilled, yet the call was placed from an easily traceable number."

"So you believe that was intentional?"

"Exactly. This person _wants_ to be found, and you'll be the one to go looking. Your mission is to identify the caller as well as verify the validity of the statement this person made."

Tsunade pushed a scroll across the desk that contained the mission details. The Anbu was hesitant to pick up the scroll, as such a seemingly easy sounding mission shouldn't have required his kind of expertise. Which probably meant it was an exceptionally complicated mission. As he scanned over the information, he nearly dropped the scroll in an uncharacteristic moment of surprise.

"Hokage-sama, this is—!"

"Quite shocking, isn't is," she drawled while propping her chin up on her fist, "Do you accept?"

"Yes—Yes, of course."

"Good. Your name for this mission shall be 'Yamato.' Now get going before our person of interest decides to disappear on us."

Yamato nodded once before melding into the floor and vanishing from sight.

Tsunade glanced briefly out the window at the setting sun. She had yet to hear back from anyone involved in that wild goose chase after the Akatsuki, now she had this on her hands.

_First the Akatsuki, now Danzou and the Root might be making a move…It couldn't be that…It's not possible that these two events are related. Is it?_

* * *

_It was raining the day he descended those cold steps and read the truth. He was still a child then, and as consumed with grief as he was, he could not comprehend the words laid out before him._

_Months go by, years even, and he let his mind be consumed by other hateful things rather than accept the truth for what it was._

_Even after he is told these things again right to his face, he did not believe. Not completely. It came to him in stages over that last, long year. _

_Even after he was resigned to believing all he had learned, it did not erase his sense of loss. Or the betrayal that struck far deeper than any that he thought he'd known._

_It would never replace all the years he'd spent hating the only person involved that did not deserve it. The one person he truly lost at the end._

To be continued..._  
_


	26. Ch 26: Samsara

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 26: Samsara

"Rin Pyou Tou Sha Kai Jin Retsu Sai Zan!"

"Fuuin Jutsu: Genryuu Kyuu Fuujin!"

The dragons poured from the mouth of the statue, the gates of hell, and swarmed hungrily around Naruto. His body was jerked from the floor and his very being was pulled away. It flowed out, faintly red, as if the air were filled with dried blood.

Madara stood off to the side and contributed nothing to the task. All was still carrying on according to plan. The losses the Akatsuki took were not really losses, not if its members fell so swiftly to children. Soon enough he would have the last piece of his personal puzzle, regardless of the rats still scurrying around the cave. Not to mention the Kyuubi would be returned to its rightful owner. And so Madara remained still, uninvolved, watching the events unfold with cool regard from beneath his mask.

* * *

Kankurou made a valiant, though ultimately weak attempt to keep pace with the others. His hand ached. His wrist ached. The weight against his back grew heavier with each step. He tried to keep his brother's face fresh in his mind. For what else was he doing all of this for, if not for Gaara's sake.

(This is a lie. But to acknowledge such a thing…)

He could spot Hinata's pale form cut through the darkness, over fallen rock, towards wherever Naruto was. He felt another weight, a mere phantom now, pressing down on his chest. The memory of a different body and a different trek from years ago. He watched Hinata and Shino all the while knowing that day four years ago was a play he had no interest in reenacting.

Kankurou felt himself unwittingly lag behind; his steps grew slow with ache and memory. Hinata was setting her feet and climbing over rock, pushing ahead as if she wasn't tired. As if she wasn't scared. As if she believed she couldn't lose anything else. Kankurou wished he had that faith of heart. That same faith that drove Sakura to push herself beyond her limits and save a life despite the stab wound in her side.

"I should turn back," he wanted to say. He wanted to be selfish and run all the way back to Konoha. He'd return Sasuke alive and well. He'd never have to carry that weight of failure another year. After all, the ultimate goal that Kiba got himself killed for was just to get this guy home. Everything would balance out.

But his other selfish side wanted to stand by his brother and sister when this was all over. One happy family savoring the victory together. Everyone would be safe. He wanted to believe in that.

He forced himself to catch up with the group. Selfish he may be, but he liked the greedy side of himself that chose his siblings over anything else.

(Because he would never admit this was something bigger than just his family. Or that he'd carry that weight forever if he had to. It made the risk of failing far too many people far too large for his liking otherwise.)

* * *

The sun was just beginning to set when Yamato entered the tavern and it cast stripes of orange light and thick shadows about the room. He wore civilian clothing as a precaution; he wasn't quite sure who it was he was looking for in this place. The crowd was varied enough to make him question if Konoha was welcome in this place. He approached the bar and ordered a beer, seemingly casual enough, as he leaned with his back against the railing. It gave him the opportunity to scan the place without appearing to do just that.

"It's good to see a familiar face."

He glanced to his right to find a woman seated a few stools down. Everything but her eyes concealed by black cloth. Tsunade had mentioned the call had been placed by a woman…Yamato supposed he could appreciate this person's sense of caution, but it only made his wariness deepen. It couldn't be this easy to just meet an informant out in the open like this.

"Have we met?" he ventured.

"In another life, perhaps."

Her voice did sound familiar, tugging fiercely at his memory, though he could not place it. He watched her raise a drink, but she made no effort to actually drink it.

"You've made quite a bold statement," he spoke with teasing note in his voice. He doubted anyone who chose to eavesdrop on them would gather the words he and this woman were sharing had very little to do with their present conversation.

"But a _true_ one, nonetheless," she replied glibly.

"I must say I find that hard to believe without proof," an easy sort of smile, "Blackmail photos, perhaps?"

She laughed gently behind the thick fabric of her wrap. One had appearances to keep, and all. She slid smoothly from her seat and approached Yamato, leaning close to him as she perched herself on the stool next to him.

"Tell me," she whispered, "Why the order to seek out your defected captain wasn't given until nearly two hours after the fact?"

Yamato's smile grew tight. It had been over nine years since former Anbu captain Uchiha Itachi disappeared and left his massacred clan in his wake. And, yes, it _had_ bothered him that no one was sent to investigate the suspicious sounds coming from the Uchiha compound until well after the fact. Until everything had a chance to grow cold and still. However, it was an odd thing to bring up now.

"Is this to be a history lesson, then?" he asked as the woman leaned back in her seat.

"Hardly," she replied dryly, "But you haven't answered my question."

"Hmm…I suppose there had to be a good reason," was his response, "One I hadn't been privy to at the time."

"That's correct…in a sense," she placed a hand on his forearm and he followed her lead, tilting his head down, "That boy chose his allegiance that night, and it wasn't the choice you're bound to believe."

"I trust your next words will be chosen carefully…?" Yamato smile grew noticeably tighter.

"Would you believe he chose Sarutobi's order over Danzou's?"

Yamato's fingers unconsciously tightened around the edge of the countertop. Her accusation was a phenomenal one. For starters, Uchiha Itachi had supposedly been chosen by Sandaime for the Anbu. Never had anyone mentioned any connection to Root. Though given the age the boy had been when he obtained Anbu status, he supposed that made a bit of sense.

Even so, to believe Sandaime had given the order (or at least turned a blind eye) for the Uchiha Massacre…Did this woman expect him to trust her word alone?

"If what you say is true, why are you only coming forward now?"

"You strike me as a smart man. Surely you don't believe the Sandaime's enemies would disappear with his death?" she spoke in soft and cautious tones, "Root is attempting to silence the only people who know what happened. Rather convenient Itachi's dead and Sasuke's gone missing right when the Akatsuki appears to be on the move…"

"Sasuke? _The Akatsuki?_" Yamato narrowed his eyes. It appeared he didn't have much time left to remain subtle, "Just who are you?"

"Me?" she raised her glass again, "I'm just a ghost."

* * *

Pain's six forms carried on with the extraction, despite the fact that it felt different than the other times he had performed such a ritual. And not in the way he anticipated. It felt as if something was missing. The raw chakra of the Kyuubi was still stronger and more malevolent than anything else he had encountered thus far. And yet…It almost seemed as the entire "essence" of the Kyuubi was not where it was supposed to be. But if wasn't trapped within this boy, then where was it?

Pain briefly had the opportunity to ponder if he should better adhere to his instincts when his bodies were jarred by a violent tug. The chakra that had been flowing so smoothly from the jinchuuriki's body suddenly halted before it seemed to rush backwards. Naruto's entire body seemed to glow a deep, pulsating red. The skin that had been scorched away by that wicked chakra seemed to regrow _because_ of it. But what really drew Pain's attention was the vibrant light that was emanating from the seal painted on the boy's stomach.

Pain attempted again to pull the bijuu away from its host but nothing happened. It put him in mind of reaching a locked door. Now if only he had the key to open it…

_I'm impressed, Jiraiya-sensei. You managed to find quite the student in Yondaime. For him to use a jutsu that even _I _do not know of…_

Madara did not move from his position. He merely ground his teeth and silently cursed the fox's stubborn nature. He was sure Pain would find a way around whatever was blocking the extraction. No matter the failsafe that brat Minato had in place.

All in due time, Madara reminded himself. All in due time.

* * *

Kakashi and Pakkun raced through the winding cavernous paths; raced towards the source of that terrible chakra. Even after it abruptly vanished, it did little to put them at ease. Kakashi forced himself not to think about the Akatsuki's goal and what it meant for Naruto. Though he never thought he'd hope the day would come that he would want to believe Naruto only lost his temper and was lashing out with Kyuubi's chakra. Perhaps he'd only come to his senses…?

The corridor seemed to widen after they turned the corner and left them staring at the wreckage of an earlier battle. Assorted debris of rock, cloth, and broken puppetry lay scattered across the cave. One puppet in particular, with red hair and a sword through its chest, triggered Kakashi memory of a photo he'd seen in Bingo Book.

"Sasori of the Red Sands…" he murmured. He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved that (unbelievably lucky) group of kids defeated someone like Sasori, or terrified that this probably wasn't even the hardest fight they had to face. As he further scanned the area, he caught sight of a puddle despite the dim lighting. Though it unfortunately did not appear to be water. Pakkun was already sniffing it without prompt.

"It's…" Pakkun looked up at Kakashi frantically, "I think it's Sakura's blood."

Kakashi's hands tensed into white-knuckled fists at his sides. Not again. He refused to lose yet another one of his precious people. Not like this. Not after they came so close to actually succeeding.

_Just hang on. I'll make sure all of you get home safely._

* * *

Jiraiya moved just as quickly through the cave, though was deeper within the maze than Kakashi. He forced himself to keep going and didn't even pause to study Kakuzu's mangled corpse. It wasn't until he passed the door that something caught his eye. In the dim light, he thought he'd been seeing things. But he had in fact seen a white rose. He entered the cell and saw Konan lying on the ground. She was so very still with only a small trickle of blood trailing from her lips.

He stared at her mutely. He thought he'd heard rumors of her death years ago. But here she was; death only claiming her now. Though it was the sight of the robe she wore that hurt him the most.

He reached down slowly with a trembling hand to brush stray hairs from her face anyway. But he pulled away quickly. He could not bear to look at her. At a(nother) student he had failed. He wondered if Orochimaru was gloating from wherever he was in hell.

And maybe if he'd been more open with Naruto…Maybe if he hadn't broken that trust…Maybe, maybe, maybe.

_I may have failed her, Naruto, but I will not fail you._

* * *

Pain rapidly tried to calculate the apparent "lock" that kept the Kyuubi from his grasp. He contemplated elements and seals, weighed the shape and texture of how the jutsu had felt against his mind. Its yin and yang. That thought alone dug at his memory and he felt as if he had just recalled something important.

But then there was a faint rush of air that passed each of his forms. Each spotted kunai sailing by, purposely off-target, and each eyed the tags tied neatly to the handles. The six jumped in unison as the explosives detonated and landed smoothly on the ground. Pain paid no heed to the jinchuuriki as it remained still as stone. That was not where the battle lied now.

His six forms flowed into action like liquid as his opponents presented themselves. Pain did not require the usual blood for summoning. The form with long hair drawn back into a tight tail drew his hands together into a seal, wishing to call upon a monstrous beast to end things quickly. Temari gave no such opportunity and forced him back with the swing of her fan.

Pain's "Asura" form, a man that could scarcely be called a man with his misshapen and nearly comical deformities, drew up behind her with his fist drawn back to strike. His hand met solidly with a wall of sand and unable to pull back as the sand stretched, reshaped itself around his arm. The fattened Pain, the "Hungry Ghost" stood to the side and fed on Gaara's chakra. It forced the sand to drop flatly from the air before Tenten slammed her bo staff against the back of "Ghost's" neck.

She landed lightly, already prepared to strike again, while the Pain with his hair long and loose formed a series of hand seals. He did not get a chance to use whatever jutsu he intended as he dodged the glancing blow from Neji's palm. Neji spun with the soft motion of loose joints and flowing silk; he ignored the form behind him and focused only on what was directly before him.

This suited that Pain with the face of a young Rain-nin who had not been satisfied with being only that. The Pain who began the ascent to god, the "Deva" form. His hand allowed a black, viscous spear to take shape and steadied his aim towards the blind spot at the back of Neji's neck. A mere Anbu mask could not conceal the Hyuuga blood.

That was until his body jerked to an unnatural halt. His other eyes can see the shadow stretched along the ground binding him in place.

The final form, with its hulking body and severe features, stood near Shikamaru. His eyes watched his movements intently but made no effort to attack. Yugito took his inaction as an invitation to attack. Her fingernails curled into razor-edged claws and cut through his throat in a spray of blood and gore. Though to her irritated surprise, the body did not fall to the floor. Rather, it _melted _into the floor.

"A poor assumption," his voice seemed to echo within her head, "that my target was him and not _you_, Nekomata."

Yugito's mouth twitched into a resigned sort of smirk. She could no longer see Shikamaru, or any of the battle for that matter. She stared at the cold stone stairs carved into the side of the mountain that would lead to the hidden village of Cloud.

"How clever…" Yugito muttered to herself, then shaped her fingers into the familiar seal to cancel the genjutsu.

The air around her seemed to ripple as the illusion faded away. It flickered once but, to Yugito's chagrin, she found herself still staring at the stairs leading to Cloud. No, she realized, he wouldn't let her go so easily. Not when he needed her (relatively) unharmed in order to extract the bijuu from her.

"So you would force me to walk the land of Naraku," she murmured.

While Yugito could no longer see the fight, it certainly hadn't ended. "Asura" managed to evade Gaara's sand for long enough to knock "Deva" free from Shikamaru's shadow. Though it didn't stop the shadows from pursuing.

Further away, Neji dodged countless strikes from the long-haired Pain, who now wielded a black spear of his own. However, the constant evading made it nearly impossible to land a hit with his jyuuken. He kept back-peddling until he came into contact with Tenten and bent beneath the swing of her staff.

His opponent lunged forward with his spear with intentions to run the pair through. Neji took a moment to reach out and grab something from her weapons pouch before pushing off again.

"Kaiten!"

The jutsu forced the edge of the spear to glance off the wall of chakra it created, but "Ghost" absorbed the rest of the energy. Neji's target charged forward once more while Neji's spin slowed. But he was ready this time. He smoothly avoided the spear and his hand lashed out with the kunai he'd taken from Tenten, cutting his enemy's throat open and the body dropped limply to the ground.

"Deva" raised his hands to bring the fallen form back to life with casual ease. He hadn't counted on the shadow to take such a physical form as to rise off the ground and wrap around his wrist. Instead of using the resurrection jutsu, he formed a doton technique and a wall of earth rose from the ground. It severed the shadow's connection and bought Pain enough time to jump away after Shikamaru's jutsu scaled over the rock barrier.

Pain did not panic. He had five sets of eyes with which to survey the battlefield, even if his enemies were evidently up to the task of keeping all his forms occupied. And seemingly too easily, at that. It certainly made him wonder just how much they knew of his abilities. He could live with the fact the Uchiha Itachi had turned on the Akatsuki. Though even he had to give pause and contemplate how Itachi knew all "Six Paths of Pain" so deeply. Pain had never told of his secrets. He would have known if Itachi had dared try to spy on him.

Oh, he had his suspicions. But that would have to wait until after this matter was settled.

The Summoning Pain managed to evade Temari's attacks long enough to finally call upon one of his beasts. A centaur with tanned skin and sleek, black fur emerged armed with a bow and a quill of arrows. Temari bit off a few choice curses and knocked the assault of arrows from the air with a wide sweep of her fan. She knew her enemy was hardly being foolish with his choice of summons.

_It's not me he's testing_.

Across the battlefield, Neji and Tenten put "Ghost" on the defensive. Their enemy was preoccupied with trying to steal away Neji's chakra to avoid having his tenketsu closed; it left him open for attack from Tenten's many weapons. The frustrating thing being he could see all of her attacks coming towards him, but to defend against her left him unguarded against Neji. It had become apparent early on that the pair moved so fluidly together; they had to have trained and fought side-by-side for quite some time.

Neji, once again grateful that he also had full vision of the battle, sidestepped and caught an arrow as it whistled by his ear. He scowled as he stared at it in his hand. He'd already had the privilege of being shot down like this years ago and did not care to repeat it. It also raised some concern for how good of a shot that summon must be to get past Temari's defenses.

But it would appear he still had a bit of luck left on his side when "Ghost" took his inaction for distraction. He barreled towards Neji; he could feel the pull of "Ghost" tugging chakra from his body. It took perfect timing for all the other forms of Pain to be distracted enough not to see Tenten blindside "Ghost." Her staff connected with the side of his temple with a resounding crack and a spray of brain matter.

Or so Neji wanted to believe that Pain hadn't planned for any of this. Hadn't been willing to sacrifice another one of his bodies. But Tenten seemed to move in slow motion, as if she hadn't heard him call her name. Time didn't seem to catch up until an arrow shot straight through her calf and managed to tear open the wound she earned from Kisame as an added bonus.

She fell into a graceless heap on the floor with a cry caught in her throat. Her eyes burned and her mouth opened but no sound came out. Her hand wrapped instinctively around the arrow shaft protruding from her leg. Neji was already racing towards her; that much she could tell through her hazy vision. But as she looked past him, she just barely managed to rasp out a warning.

Neji dove to the side just in time to avoid a suiton jutsu from "Deva." Neji muttered a curse as he tried to calculate the distance between himself and Tenten, and where the other forms of Pain were. He'd expected this fight to be hard. Really, he had. But seeing Tenten injured like that when he had been so close to her…

Though judging the space between himself, the ongoing assault from "Deva," and the speed that damnable summon was charging in for the kill, Neji knew with cold certainty that he would never make it in time.

Temari had given up trying to bring down the summon. Considering its size, it was profoundly aggravating that it could move so fast. She had her eyes trained on it, certainly, her body angled towards it. She brought her fan around in a wide arc with a frustrated yell. It was only in that last moment before release that she honed her focus onto the Summoner. The blast was a direct hit and the body hit the stone wall with a splendid snap of bone. She didn't pause to watch it slump down to the floor in a stream of hair fluttering loose and sticky red.

Another body down, yes, but it did not have the desired result. The expected one, nonetheless. Pain in the general sense was still alive, and thus the summon was still on the loose despite the lack of summoner. Temari didn't have breath to spare for cursing as she tried to outflank the beast before it reached Tenten. Tenten, who dragged her wounded leg like the dead weight it now was, tried to crawl anywhere that wasn't in the direct path of that creature.

Neji lost considerable ground thanks to "Deva's" round of jutsu. Though it seemed "Deva" had finally chosen to set his sights on resurrecting at least one of his bodies after the Summoner died. These were just rats, he told himself, though the added insurance was not exactly unwarranted. His fingers abandoned forming the familiar seals when he caught sight of a shadow dancing out of the corner of his eye.

The summon pulled back its bow and steadied its aim. It had a clear shot through the open expanse of the field. It realized a moment too late, as the arrows took flight, that they would not hit its intended target. Temari jumped in from the side, unnaturally awkward and desperate in her motions. She held the fan out in front of her body but wouldn't be able to turn to shield herself as well. She grit her teeth and felt a heated flash of shame for willingly leaving her entire left side in the line of fire.

A gash to her cheek, a terrible gouge just above the elbow. And a slow easy breath that that was the worst of it. A glance to the right showed Tenten had just missed getting shot through the hand. But she hadn't. She had no new injuries to speak of.

There's a half-second delay during which Temari felt vindicated and still-strong and not through with these guys yet. Then she took an unexpected punch in the kidneys with enough force to send her body careening forward. She lost grip of her fan and it clattered across the stone floor while she rolled to a stop mere feet from Tenten. She was too caught up in her momentary daze to spot which Pain had landed that strike.

Or rather, which part of Pain.

Gaara snarled as he swept his sand towards the hand that detached itself from "Asura" for that attack. His opponent had evidently anticipated the movement and even had the audacity to grin as his fist punched through the wall of sand. Gaara skid backwards as sand slid from his "cracked" jaw. That punch had hit hard enough for him to taste blood in his mouth. Really, Pain should have known better once Gaara was the one smiling.

"Sabaku Kyuu."

Pain realized his mistake once the fine layer of sand covering the ground rose up to engulf him.

_He planned this from the start. As to be expected of Shukaku's container…_

"Sabaku Sousou!"

He'd forgotten what it felt like. What it was to enjoy the give of a body as it collapsed in upon itself under the crushing weight of his sand. Though he would be sure to realize (once the red haze no longer clouded his vision) he hadn't been this angry in a long, long while. For these bastards to go after Naruto (who was still unmoving, silent, almost as if he was—) and his sister…

He was going to run this place red.

"Temari-san, get up!"

Temari thought it strange that Tenten's voice sounded so far away despite almost being close enough to touch. She climbed shakily to her knees and glanced up at the centaur as it tossed aside its bow, as it reached for the broadsword strapped across its back.

_I'm going to regret this, I bet._

She steadied herself into a crouch and dove forward. Her shoulder caught Tenten squarely in the chest and sent them both tumbling. She couldn't say what happened immediately after; her whole being felt jarred and disconnected.

"—mari—"

"—ri-s—"

"—te—an!"

Temari's vision flickered in and out as if she were catching pieces of film in between the static. She caught sight of Tenten's terrified face (there was blood on her chin now), of Neji blasting that summon with a jutsu. Hakke Kuushou perhaps…? Of the gaping slash that had been cut into her side from hip to thigh.

"Fuck…_fuck!_" Temari hissed as Tenten took hold of her shoulders and tried to drag her out of harm's way. It would seem Neji's attack only served to piss off the summon rather than cause any damage. Temari instinctively pressed her palm against the wound in some vain attempt to staunch the bleeding. Someone was still screaming her name. Was it Gaara?

No. Of course not. There was only one idiot that would lose his cool at a time like this. She tried to shout for him not to do anything stupid, but Tenten was pulling on her again as they dodged another swing of the sword.

"Temari!!" Shikamaru's mind went curiously blank as he charged out into the open. He didn't need another ghost haunting him, least of all hers. All his cold and calculated Anbu training seemed to trickle away from him as he set his sights solely on her. He didn't hear Neji shouting warnings, or the rustle of Gaara's sand rushing to his aide.

"You should know better than to turn your back on your opponent."

It was only when "Deva's" voice was whispering by his ear that Shikamaru realized just how little he had changed over the years. His eyes hesitantly glanced down at the black spike piercing his shoulder. The shock of seeing the wound was actually more daunting than the pain at first. He tried not to think of what would have happened if Gaara's sand hadn't thrown Pain's aim off at the last moment.

"Deva" merely frowned at the disappointment of not being able to land the killing blow. He tugged once to try and free his wrist from the sand's grip before releasing a powerful raiton burst. It did its job to release Gaara's hold, as well as the added bonus of sending a violent jolt through Shikamaru.

But "Deva" didn't have long to relish the moment before dodging Neji's attempts at sealing his tenketsu. Shikamaru, meanwhile, hit the ground hard and pressed a shaking hand against his stab wound.

_I'm almost out of chakra…how am I supposed to choose who to save?_

Tenten blindly searched through her weapons pouch as she tried to decide what she could use to fight. She knew the centaur would be able to block or dodge any projectiles. She knew she'd probably have success if she laid down some explosive traps, but also knew she lacked the mobility to do so. She couldn't even walk at this point, let alone attempt to go hand-to-hand against this thing. Not to mention she couldn't abandon Temari.

Her fingers slid over one particular scroll and she frowned at the feel of it.

_Well, there is always **that**. At the rate we're going, I don't think I have much choice…_

And that was when she noticed Temari reaching for something. Her fingertips kept slipping, wet as they were with blood, before she got a grip on it.

"I know what you're thinking," Temari growled as she pulled the fan closer, "And I have no use for suicide attacks."

"What other option do we have at this point?" Tenten tried to keep her voice steady. But then Temari snapped her fan open and dragged her bloody palm across the surface.

"One that only _may _be suicide," Temari even had the gall to smile, "Try not to kill all of us, Kirikiri Mai!"

"Geez, could you find a _smaller _place?!" the weasel grumbled as its sickles blocked the swing of the centaur's sword. The blades ricocheted off each other and one of the sickles swung wide, cutting deep into the cavern wall. The cave trembled violently and brought down a shower of rock across the battlefield. Temari crossed her fingers and silently prayed to anyone that would listen that this wouldn't turn into a suicide attack.

Amidst the chaos, Gaara took notice of Naruto's body still lying out in the open while debris fell around him. His sand reacted and managed to block a torrent of rocks before Naruto was crushed beneath it. He took this moment to hurry to Naruto's side himself; he trusted Temari's summon was going to finish the job. Even if it might take everything down with it.

"Naruto, wake up," Gaara all but ordered, "We have to get out of here."

He tapped Naruto on the cheek and pulled back abruptly.

_He's cold. It's like he really is—_

Gaara's eyes went wide, pupils now mere pinpoints.

_…he really is…_

Shikamaru forced himself to sit up, still clutching his shoulder, mind still fuzzy. It was only now in this brief gap of inaction that he really took notice of things. Over in a far corner, Yugito and that harsh looking Pain were staring at one another. And that was all. They just watched each other, regardless of the sky falling down around them. His brain was working so sluggish (probably a concussion, he reckoned) that it took a moment for him to realize they hadn't moved at all since the fight started. He felt stupid for his lapse in not remembering that particular Pain's specialty was genjutsu. But it begged the question, was Yugito also adept at such a fight?

_Someone needs to break her out of it_.

Shikamaru got to one knee before his legs gave out. He'd never get over there. The girls were both badly injured (and so was he because he kept making the same emotional mistakes over and over), Neji picked up where Shikamaru left off while trying to contain "Deva," Gaara was trying to get Naruto to safety and looked like he'd seen a ghost.

_No, don't think about it. Don't get emotional. Naruto is fine. Don't get yourself or anyone else hurt. Finish the fight first._

So he did the only thing he was capable of doing at this point. He yelled Yugito's name.

And Yugito found herself unwillingly climbing the well-worn stairs to her village and passing through its gates. The villagers were gathered there but she couldn't make out their faces. She could only hear their voices.

"You are a weapon and only a weapon," the familiar words the Raikage had said to her so many years ago, "If you do not survive, then you prove yourself to be of no use to us. Your death would sadden no one."

And still she walked.

"If you are captured, no one will come for you."

She smiled wanly at each statement. She'd known this all along. Hearing it again did not change anything.

"You may think yourself to have the power of the gods, but the gods will not favor you."

A flash in the corner of her mind. A hand held tightly in hers. The press of prayer beads against her palm.

"What need have I for the gods?" she asked aloud, "I have my fellow brothers-in-arms by my side."

She reached towards her chest, towards the black thread holding her stab wound shut, and yanked it open with the pull of her claws.

The world exploded around her in a white-hot burning flash. She didn't recall pulling a kunai from her pouch, but she woke to reality atop her enemy still clutching the handle with its blade jammed through his eye and right to the brain. Her other hand pressed against her chest as blood seeped out between her fingers. She hadn't imagined it could have hurt this much the second time around.

And slowly her awareness expanded. The several Pain corpses littering the battlefield, the smoke and debris, a centaur getting decapitated by a sickle before both summons vanished with a pop. Her comrades were scattered, bloodied, battered. _Alive._

Her chest hurt like hell (and hadn't she just pulled herself out of hell?) but she still forced herself to her feet. There was still one last body to take out to put this all to rest. "Deva" watched the Nekomata approach, watched Shukaku, the Hyuuga.

_This cannot be._

_I am not a mere man._

_I have ascended to the seat of the gods!_

He felt something latch around his throat and grip tight as if it were a bare hand. His hands automatically reached for his neck when his wrists were bound tightly in place. He could barely see it from the corner of his eye, but he recognized the threads of shadow wrapped around his arms all the same.

At last his eyes, the famed Rinnegan, sought the darkened corners of the cave. His final chance to escape. He could always acquire more bodies later. For now he would have to swallow his pride and beseech that man for help. But wouldn't it just figure that Madara was heading towards the exit.

Neji turned quick and threw a kunai, surprised when it embedded itself in the earth.

"Is something wrong?" Yugito asked.

"No, I thought I saw something move."

* * *

Madara continued on his path away from that fight, comfortable with the fact that the Hyuuga never got a good look at him. Though he had to admit the boy had remarkable aim. He chuckled at the thought, even after a blast shook the area behind him.

_And another bloodline falls by the wayside. What a pity._

* * *

However, when the smoke cleared a much different story unfolded.

"Damn it!" Shikamaru snarled, eyes darting across the cave.

"I've spotted him," Neji announced, "I can pursue."

"Not by yourself. We need to regroup," Shikamaru decided as he began to sink to the floor again.

Neji opened his mouth to protest but Shikamaru cut him off with the wave of his hand.

"Don't argue with me on this," and then softer, "_Please._"

"…Very well."

Neji took Shikamaru by the arm and hauled him back up. Slowly they made the trek to Tenten and Temari.

Tenten snapped the shaft of the arrow piercing her leg and pulled it out with a harsh tug. Neji was already tearing his sleeve and binding around the wound.

"Will the others be okay, if they cross paths with that Pain?" she asked through grit teeth.

"Should be," Neji stated, "Lee is with them, after all."

Neither talked about how Lee was exhausted and would struggle if they were going to be realistic about it. But the thought of Lee, and their faith in him, put them at ease.

Shikamaru was helping Temari patch up her hideous wound with shaking hands.

"You're a damn fool," she groused and allowed herself to lie back down.

"I know," he admitted plainly.

"Really, though. Haven't you learned by now you don't have to do everything yourself?" she sighed, "Have some faith in me."

"Ah," he couldn't help the nervous laugh that crept out, "My apologies."

He vaguely took note of Yugito and Gaara off to the side. They were already by Naruto's side with grim expressions pulling their faces tight. He didn't like seeing that expression on either of them.

"How's Naruto?" Shikamaru called to them. He ignored the way Gaara's fists shook at his side. Ignored the way Yugito began looking up and around, as if she were searching for something.

"He…"

Gaara knew the words. They sat heavy and bitter upon his tongue.

"Naruto is…"

But they would not leave his mouth. He did not want to let those words see the light of day. It would give those words power. It would make them true.

"Naruto is…"

* * *

Madara walked along calmly towards his next destination, his next goal. Even the shuffling steps approaching from behind did little to deter him.

"Body…" Pain's mangled form came into view, "I need a fresh body. Any of those children will do."

"And I suppose you want me to lay one at your feet?" Madara sneered, "Still haven't learned your lesson, I see."

"After all I've done for you—" Pain growled before being overwhelmed by a wracking fit of coughs, "You told Itachi everything, didn't you."

Madara ignored the accusation entirely.

"And after all the time you've spent in this world, I thought you would have learned people only help one another to further their own agendas, Rikudou," Madara paused in thought, "You should have realized your folly by now. You sought to take the powers the gods granted you and make yourself one of them. Thus you've been cursed to walk the wheel of life until you learn from your grave transgressions against the heavens. Yet after all this time, here you are."

"You're a hypocrite," Pain's back slid down along the wall.

"Hardly. What point would there be for me to become a god when they already kneel at my feet."

"I'll learn just how successful you are," a final gasp, "In my next life."

* * *

Hinata was climbing over rubble, hands grasping at rock and pulling her body through a small opening. It was here that she cursed her eyes, her own blood, for letting her see so far. She didn't see the Madara. She didn't see Pain. She saw Gaara standing over Naruto's body. Saw him mouth the words. Saw Neji at last remove his Anbu mask with trembling fingers. Saw the tears drip from Shikamaru's chin.

Those words…Those feared, hated words…

She lost her grip and her back hit the stone ground hard enough to steal her breath.

"Hinata!" Ino cried out while she and Shino rushed to her side.

"What happened?" Shino found his throat to be oddly tight, "What did you see?"

"He—They killed—oh god they—!" Hinata stumbled and tripped over her words as the floodgates opened, "Naruto-kun, he's—"

Ino's eyes instinctively shot up to Sakura and completely missed as the blood drained from Lee's face. Sakura hid her own within the crook of his neck while she gripped his shoulders white knuckle tight.

"That _idiot_," her voice keened, a wounded animal.

_Four years ago. A sunny autumn morning. That silly nice guy pose._

_"I'll bring Sasuke back. It's the promise of a lifetime!"_

* * *

_This was an older story. A myth, if you will._

_A tale of a man granted abilities from the gods themselves. But he was but a man, and power without wisdom rots all to the core eventually. And so he walked the earth time and again. He bore witness to the gifts he once shared with the world when he'd been a better person. Before he tried to claim them for himself._

_But the man could never forget the power he once held. How he wished to reclaim what he once had. He tried on many forms, yet none fit as well as the first. That body the gods had once chosen as their favorite._

_But he tried again. A child who was granted a teacher beyond measure. The boy was weak in and of himself, but he could be shaped. He could be made great. And so he'd reached out with blackened hands and tried the body on for size._

_The child only recalled a body lying at his feet with no memory of how it got there. It was a convenient story. No matter the time or the person, they always believed such a story._

_But that child grew from a weak boy to a weak man. The body did not perform to his liking. Even took a nasty injury. But the boy had companions. Ones with passion. Ones with revenge in their hearts. Revenge was a thing he understood well enough._

_Let the gods try to rule a world once there is no one in it. Perhaps they would understand what it feels like to lose everything._

_So he slid into his next body. An angry, driven young man. Ah yes, this was what he'd been looking for._

_The final companion, the young woman, looked oddly at him but once. He had a clever story for this change, as well. But she was smart. She likely didn't believe the lie. But she never questioned it out loud. _

_She knew what it meant to lose everything, after all._

_At least she saw a familiar face staring back at her, even if those eyes didn't belong there. Even if the body didn't always match, either._

_It was better than nothing._

To be continued…

* * *

Author's Notes: There are quite a few Buddhist concepts when it comes to understanding the character "Pain" that I'm not sure everyone is aware of. His six forms are comparable to the six lower paths a soul can be reincarnated as, depending on the sort of person they were. Some of this we've seen in the manga. The rest is my own conjecture.

1) Naraku: This is actually the realm of hell, which contains several sub-realms depending on the crime a person committed while alive

2) Hungry Ghost: The person remains constantly hungry/thirsty no matter what. It represents the greed and desires that the person sought while alive.

3) Animal: People return to earth as animals rather than humans to represent their foolishness and prejudices from their previous life

4) Human: This is somewhat of a limbo stage. People have the choice to learn from their mistakes, live well, and achieve enlightenment. Or not.

5) Asura: Known as demigods, or even the "fighting demon." This stage is when a person achieves great power, but is still aggressive and violent in nature. They may have even been good, but committed wrong action such as harming others and must learn from it.

6) Deva: A stage of happiness and comfort, that beings often forget to work towards enlightenment due to such a stage of indulgence. It is referred sometimes as the gods' realm, as these beings are far more powerful than humans. However, they never gain true god status or attributes such as immortality, omniscience, etc.

The title of this chapter "Samsara" is the Sanskrit word for the endless cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.


	27. Ch 27: Our Defining Moments

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 27: Our Defining Moments

There was no sound left, no color.

None of that rushing blood ringing in their ears. It was like each suffered their own deaths after hearing those words. How were they supposed to carry on from here? How could anyone keep living?

Their one great hope, the boy they'd all believed was their future, was gone gone gone.

"He'll never forgive me," Sakura finally spoke with whispered, broken words, "Sasuke-kun will never forgive me for this."

_Nor would I want him to._

She thought of the long four years that had come to pass. All that hard work she'd put in. The vow she'd made to herself to never let her precious people suffer again. Yet she still came up short. Still failed in the end.

_I'll never forgive myself, either._

"Don't say that!" Ino shouted, tears slipping from her chin, "It's not your fault! It—Naruto, he—!"

"Ino, get back!" Kankurou yelled.

Shino took Ino and Hinata both by the arm and hauled them backwards a few steps as a hand reached through the opening in the rubble.

"Ah, so here you are!"

A man climbed through clad completely in black, save for an odd orange mask with a space for only one eye.

"Identify yourself," Shino stepped in front of the girls.

"Me? I'm Tobi," Madara lied smoothly, "I'm, err, kinda the new guy."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, letting her heartache brew into brilliant anger. This guy hadn't been in the notes Sasuke had left for them. It made her anxious to even contemplate what this unknown might be capable of. Not that it would stop her from taking action. She felt she understood Sasuke a bit better in this one moment. Understood that pulsing drive of vengeance.

"So," "Tobi" spoke cheerfully, "When are you gonna let Sasuke out to play?"

"What are you talking about?" Lee hoped this "Tobi" didn't call his bluff, "He's already on his way back to Konoha."

"It's not nice to lie," he chided, laughing to himself at the irony of it all, "You've got him hidden inside the puppet that guy's carrying."

Kankurou shifted Black Ant uneasily, the weight of it suddenly growing heavier against his back.

"You," Sakura pulled away from Lee and stood on wobbly legs, "What the hell do you want from Sasuke-kun?!"

"Time."

* * *

But the view now wasn't that of the darkened cave. It was of a porch at sunset. But more importantly, it was the porch of the Uchiha estate where two brothers once sat and discussed just what being siblings meant for them.

And now they found themselves seated there again, looking not a day older than they had been that day all those long years ago.

Sasuke, a small child again, glanced at his older brother but didn't speak. He listened to the ring of a wind chime, watched the sinking sun cast a deep orange glow against his brother's face.

"You're not supposed to be here, you know," Itachi's voice was soft, warm.

"Trying to ditch me again?" Sasuke scowled childishly, earning a chuckle from his brother.

"Not exactly," a pause, "Though I imagine after this, I won't be seeing you for a long while."

"You were wrong, brother," Sasuke seemed to ignore him as he stared at the cracked wall across the street, "Hating you didn't make me any stronger."

Sasuke looked to his brother again and found him wearing his Anbu uniform.

"I know I didn't make things easy for you…" Itachi admitted.

"What made me stronger, what really kept me going was…" Sasuke stumbled awkwardly over his words, seemed to want to say one thing, but spoke of something else, "…I never really hated you. No matter how many times I thought I'd be better off if I had."

The sun dipped lower on the horizon.

"You're going to be late," Itachi pointed out, almost growing cold and defensive, as his Akatsuki robe replaced his Anbu gear.

Sasuke hopped off the ledge, his expression that same hopeful, nervous face he always wore as a child.

"I wish," he kept his eyes lowered, a long-forgotten nervous habit, "That we could have just a little more time."

"Forgive me, Sasuke," a poke to the forehead, "But this is our last time."

There was an odd smile playing at Itachi's lips. Sasuke didn't think he'd ever seen such a resigned expression before.

Sasuke shifted into the young man he now was, just as Itachi looked as he had before that last fight. Itachi had turned away and made to go inside. But he hesitated in the doorway.

"The question I asked you, at the end…Is your answer still the same?"

Sasuke smiled faintly, a gentle turning at the corner of his mouth. Resigned.

"Every word of it."

Itachi nodded once in approval. Sasuke opened his mouth as if to speak, but could scarcely think of what to say at a time like this. Or rather, he thought of too many things but didn't have the time for any of it. So he said goodbye the only way he knew how.

"Brother," a lump settled heavy in his throat, "Thank you."

And then he never looked back. Knew if he did, he would follow Itachi in this as well. He raced through the empty Clan district, through that ghost town of a village, past wooded training areas where targets for kunai practice adorned the trees, to the banks of the Nagano River. He slid aside the seventh tatami mat with practiced ease and stumbled down the darkened stairs in his haste. It was dark and damp in here, the torches unlit.

"I've never asked anyone for anything," his voiced echoed hollow through the dark, "I've always tried to make my own way in the world, no matter the cost. But I can't do this alone."

He dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead against the cold stone.

"I'm not such a fool as to force you to help me. I'm not asking you to submit to me, nor am I trying to own you," he could feel his voice crack, "But, _please_, for just this once…"

The torches abruptly roared to life.

"Insolent brat," the Kyuubi's voice was deafening, "I've no need for your whining."

* * *

Kankurou jerked forward a step as the latches of his puppet unlocked and the weight he'd been carrying was suddenly absent.

Sasuke stood with his head bowed, hair shielding his face.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura murmured as her eyes darted between him and "Tobi." She knew there was no way he was up for a fight. Even after all the work she and Hinata had managed, it was still going to require a lot of time before he made a full recovery. And for him to be thrown into something like this, against an enemy they knew nothing about, especially after Naruto…

"Sasuke-kun, you have to run—!"

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be up and about yet!" Tobi cut her off and maintained his seemingly unthreatening demeanor.

"Cut the bullshit," Sasuke's voice was rough, graveled, "Acting as if I don't know exactly who you are."

"Oh?" Tobi's body flickered once before appearing in front of Sasuke, "And just who do you suppose I am?"

* * *

He likened it to a chess game, as he stared at the black and white landscape. The banks of the Nagano seemed to stretch on past the horizon. Fair enough, he thought to himself. I'll concede the first move to you. I always preferred to play black, anyway.

"I guess I shouldn't be very surprised," he commented dryly, "That you learned Tsukiyomi."

"I suppose I've got you to thank for it," Sasuke replied flatly, his features blank.

"But do you really think _this_ will work on me?" he sneered, "As if an amateur like you—"

"—Could defeat the man that obtained eternity?" Sasuke interrupted, "I told you, didn't I? I know everything about you."

"Ah…Itachi-kun figured it out, did he?"

"Perhaps. But I didn't hear about it from him," Sasuke spoke in chilled tones, "Shisui of the Mirage grew up as a promising Uchiha and was probably one of the strongest mix of genjutsu and henge ever created in order for you to deceive the Clan you founded. Even now you played the bumbling fool of the Akatsuki as an attempt to get the others to drop their guard. You've created all these names and personas to suit your needs…As your greatest skill has always been manipulation, hasn't it, Madara?"

Madara's reaction was a faintly amused snort.

"I should have known…And to think I actually believed he kept you alive for something more useful than to offer up a history lesson. A shame, really. That fool of a brother of yours could have had anything he wanted, had he stayed by my side."

"Who's to say he didn't gain exactly what he sought?" Sasuke retorted.

"A laughable thought. He was too spineless to accomplish anything."

Sasuke forced himself not to rise to the bait. He needed to make sure he maintained complete control over the jutsu. Though his fingers twitched at his side.

"Robbing you of Izanagi certainly worked in his favor."

There was a low hiss of breath behind the mask as Madara instinctively reached towards where his left eye should have been.

"For you to even know its name…" Madara's voice became a sharpened blade as he removed his mask.

_Such information was not even left in the __Nagano__ Shrine. How did this boy learn of it?_

"The Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan…With the 'gift' of your own brother's eyes, you defied blindness and even death. Izanagi kept your body from aging, while Izanami granted you an unparalleled space-time jutsu to avoid incurring any injuries. While you certainly can be killed, you've basically come as close to being immortal as one can get…Have I left something out?"

"Fool as he may have been, it appears Orochimaru had been right to think you would surpass Itachi."

Sasuke merely scowled. That really wasn't it at all. His time with Orochimaru taught him plenty about that man. Now, more than ever, it was painfully obvious the old snake had "settled" for Sasuke since Itachi's abilities were far beyond Orochimaru's scope. And…

_My brother was neither weak, nor a fool. He simply could not let go of that bond of friendship that he believed he shared with "Shisui." He wasn't a failure. He was _human.

"I must say I'm curious, though," Madara's mouth pulled into a smirk behind the mask as his confidence grew, "How exactly did you put it all together?"

"Kyuubi has a long memory."

Madara allowed himself a bark of laughter at that.

"That furball? How kind of it to impart some final knowledge before it died," Madara paused to savor the moment. He wanted to let the confusion and fear trickle into the mind of the boy in front of him. It should be enough to get rid of the pesky genjutsu, "Or didn't you know that miserable creature has since departed this world? It appears not even the legendary Kyuubi could stick around after its host got killed…"

Of course, things like the Kyuubi didn't _stay_ dead. Maybe not this year, maybe even a hundred years from now, but a being made of pure chakra such as that always returned to this realm of existence. And Madara fully intended to be there when it happened.

The world around him seemed to flicker for a moment and he could not help but feel smug about it.

_That certainly seemed to get your attention._

"So what purpose does any of this even serve now, Sasuke-kun?" Madara taunted. It wouldn't take much to shake free of Tsukiyomi at this rate. "Say you even manage to kill me. Your brother will still be dead. That jinchuuriki boy you're so fond of will still be dead. Not to mention you are, by all accounts, still a criminal in Konoha's eyes. Nothing you do now will change any of that…What are you trying to accomplish?"

Sasuke scoffed, head bowed now as it had been in the real world.

"Don't be stupid" his voice was eerily calm, "If you ever knew anything about me, you'd know I've always lived for a single purpose."

And then Sasuke vanished. Madara had no time to feel out where he went. There was no sound here, no movement of air. Not without Sasuke's allowance. Time itself was controlled by Sasuke's whim. The only warning he received of Sasuke's approach was a hand around his throat. Even with his head shoved under the dark water, even though the heaviness of the Nagano River weighed down around him, he could hear Sasuke's voice as clearly as if the boy were growling in his ear.

"I am an avenger."

There was a struggle. If one could call it that. Madara thought absently of how he should be angrier about this as the grip tightened around his neck. To have underestimated this child's abilities and allowed himself to be ensnared in the world of Tsukiyomi so easily. A world where the victim had no power. Where the strength anyone held in reality meant nothing.

He wondered if the Kyuubi had felt magnanimous enough to grant this boy any favors before it faded out.

He thought, briefly, of Hashirama of the Senju Clan. The First Hokage. The man who became his greatest rival. At the end of their battle, despite Madara's belief that his superior knowledge of jutsu and all things pertaining to war guaranteed victory, he still lost. Before Hashirama thought him dead, he'd had words to say. That all the power in the world meant very little if a man fought only for himself. A person needed someone or something to protect. Needed to keep getting up, no matter the odds, to fight on behalf of those who he vowed to keep safe.

At the time, Madara had thought this so-called "Will of Fire" was utter nonsense.

_"Pride goeth before the fall," huh?_

Beneath the black flow of water, Madara could faintly make out the red ripples of the full moon looming overhead. And for a moment, just a brief flicker really, he thought he saw a figure standing behind Sasuke. An old friend, perhaps.

Perhaps.

_I suppose you got what you wanted, after all. Right, Itachi-kun…?_

* * *

The events that took place in real-time told a different story to the onlookers. The others watched fretfully as the masked man moved to stand before Sasuke, heard his taunts, and a single breath before Sasuke's hand was around his enemy's throat.

They saw the man who called himself Tobi rip his mask away as water gushed from his mouth. Gasping and drowning with no water in sight. They only caught a glimpse of his face, so briefly, they all wondered in private shock if they imagined his sole eye to be the Sharingan. But that was before his features were consumed in a burst of black flame.

And again there was no sound. There were no screams or rasping gulps of air from their enemy. No crackling pop of fire as he burned. He simply burned.

The world seemed to catch up with itself as Sasuke staggered one, two steps to the side before his body buckled. He collapsed with none of the grace one would expect of him, legs folding awkwardly under his body, his hand instinctively covering his left eye.

It ached. Different than the pain he expected of it, but it ached all the same.

It made him think of his brother.

Though that thought ached differently now, too. Somehow the edges didn't feel quite so sharp…

Arms slithered their way around him from behind and he forced himself to remain still. To remain unafraid. This was not Sound. Those arms were not—

"You really are…annoying," he finally panted out.

Sakura made some sort of hysterical sound caught between laughing and bawling; her cheek pressed firmly between his shoulder blades.

"You," she hiccupped between sobs, "you stupid, reckless _boys!_"

His whole body felt sluggish. He ought to be used to this, he surmised grimly, but he felt off. Saying he felt "more off" than usual wouldn't have been accurate. But he definitely felt like something had changed. He didn't have the wherewithal to think about it right now. He forced himself to turn in her grasp, enough to take away his shaky hand away from his face and smooth her hair.

It felt grimy and matted. Blood. She was shaking horribly under his touch.

It was a seemingly involuntary reaction when his eyes, both of them, opened all the way. Even the dim light of the cavern stung. His vision was tunneled but he found himself caring very little about the odds of his going blind. The reality of the situation he was in finally started catching up to him. That he'd used the Mangekyou Sharingan without a second thought. Well, Amaterasu hadn't had any thought behind it. It seemed to just…burn itself into existence without him even having to will it so. He fleetingly thought that his initial assessment of going blind might actually hold some merit.

He shouldn't have had the strength to use both attacks. The damned disease of a curse should have killed him twice over before he'd ever have been able to pull off those two jutsu.

But then it hit him full force.

He could not feel the pull of the curse seal in his left eye.

His gaze inadvertently tracked to his left arm. It felt weak, fingers twitching sporadically, muscles undoubtedly atrophied. But all he could see was the flawless pale skin covering the limb. Not a spot of black. Not a nick or a scratch.

He looked at Sakura with a near franticness now. Really looked at her. The way her chin trembled with drying blood catching in the creases of her skin. The near translucent paleness of her complexion. Cuts and abrasions scattered across her arms. His hand slipped from her hair to her shoulder.

"What did you do?"

"I—What—?" Sakura's eyes darted nervously at his accusing tone.

"Sakura," a warning growl, a tightening of his fingers against her shoulder, "The curse. It's gone. What the hell did you do?"

_What did you do to yourself? Why are you injured? What did you go through just to save me?_

For a moment, his mind hovered over his experience facing Madara within the world of Tsukiyomi. Something important had been said. He could not recall what it was.

"I…Hinata and I…"

Sasuke felt vaguely surprised that he hadn't noticed the others until now. They didn't look to be in as bad of shape as Sakura, but certainly appeared worn nonetheless. But it was in the way they all stood so still and silent with downcast, shuttered expressions. Fresh tears running down Hinata's cheeks.

Sasuke remembered now. The question that had followed him from the underworld.

"Where is he?" Sasuke forced himself to speak the question he didn't think he wanted an answer to, "Where is Naruto?"

"He—he—" Sakura could not make herself speak the words. Was terrified that saying it out loud would make it real. Terrified of being the one to break Sasuke's heart.

Sasuke couldn't look at her anymore.

But he couldn't look at anyone else, either.

_It's not supposed to be this way. _I'm_ the one that should have—_

He couldn't tell how long he remained there on the stone floor, hand still holding Sakura, with her hand now lying atop his. She was blaming herself, no doubt, but he could think of nothing to say that would come close to fixing this. He silently cursed himself for leaving behind that letter. Raged at how stupid and naïve he'd been. Again. So many people had been injured, _killed_ to save his worthless life. He hadn't wished for any of this. It was supposed to end with him.

_Naruto, you complete and utter…_

* * *

Hinata had always been so reserved, so uncomfortable with expressing herself so openly. It was frightening to think that she didn't remember leaving the others behind. One moment she was standing by Shino. Then she was kneeling next to Naruto.

But she couldn't stop herself. Didn't know what else to do with herself. She looked down at Naruto's face, his eyes closed and expression blank, and she forgot herself and everyone else that was there with her. Her words rushed out without her even noticing what they were.

"Na—Naruto-kun," her soft voice skipped and trembled between choppy breaths, "Please, you can't be dead…I—I never got to say—I was finally going to tell you—That I…I…"

Even now, she couldn't free those trapped words from her throat. He would never hear them, yet she couldn't say them. Too distracted by the mantra repeating over and over in her mind.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura made their way together, battling forward against weak limbs. Against failing eyesight and fading consciousness.

Against that heavy weight of failure.

They came upon the scene and paid no notice to their injured comrades. Didn't bother to acknowledge the monstrous statue looming over them, either. Sasuke unconsciously pulled away from her, though she made no protest. Too engulfed by what she was seeing to do anything.

Sasuke's narrow vision honed in on Naruto lying so impossibly still. He'd never been so motionless even when he slept. But now he was so quiet. This whole place was as silent as a tomb. It made him want to break something. It made him want to scream and shout and rage and—

He lurched and faltered those last few steps. As he pitched forward, his good hand shot out instinctively and he collapsed on palm and knees.

He'd been here before. Leaning over Naruto like this. Almost close enough for their noses to touch. He'd been there with Naruto lying still as death with storm clouds and stinging rain.

Naruto survived that day because Sasuke chose to let him live. Wished for it. No matter how much harder it made things.

_"I will not be your puppet. I will follow my own path."_

How in god's name had he still ended up with Naruto's blood on his hands?

"I never asked you to save me."

_Though I knew you would._

"You're so fucking _stupid_! You never listen to a word I say!"

_I already lost my brother. Why would you make me endure that again?_

"Fuckin' dead last…"

_You swore you wouldn't die on me._

Sasuke's body couldn't hold out any longer and crumpled by Naruto's side. He couldn't bring himself to notice anything at all. He just lied there numb to everything and everyone. Only reacted blindly to Sakura as she finally fell by his side, their hands instinctively locking. For them, even knowing the other was alive, did little to soothe their hearts. Destroying the Akatsuki, for as good of a thing as that was supposed to be, mattered very little to them now. Those bastards had still managed to accomplish the one thing they'd been so desperate to prevent. The Akatsuki took Naruto away.

They were a three-man team. What was the point of any of this if all three of them weren't going home together?

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

* * *

_He was five years old, mid-autumn, when the fire came._

_And he, like all the others who could not fight, went to hide inside the carved stone faces of men much stronger than themselves. Or so they were supposed to._

_He stood away from the entrance, watching from the top of the world as his village burned. Faintly he heard the cries of his mother urging him to come back. She held his newborn brother tightly to her chest. It was why she couldn't chase after him._

_But he was too consumed with listening to the roar of an unfathomable beast to be swayed merely by the sound of her voice._

_"Are you afraid?"_

_He was startled, though he didn't show it, when a new voice emerged by his side._

_"Terrified," he admitted, "That monster is destroying everything that I love and there is nothing I can do to stop it."_

_"Yet you stand here, watching with unblinking eyes. Do you know why?"_

_He finally turned to look at this new person. It was a boy, perhaps only a couple of years older than himself, with dark hair and brilliantly red eyes. He should have known this person then, though he could not recall ever meeting him._

_"That," the boy gestured to the rampaging creature, "is our destiny."_

_"Probably," he conceded, "It's bound to kill us all."_

_The other boy laughed. This, too, startled him._

_"That thing is not our end. It's the future," the boy paused, then pointed to his own eyes, "Tell me, do you know what we're _really _capable of?" _

_They survived that night, and years would go by with that other boy becoming something of a mentor to him. He learned so much of himself, his people, their abilities and purpose. But there were nights where he would wonder._

_He would look at his clan, which had survived that horrid event completely intact. And then he would think of one man who stood before that beast to give his life so no one else would have to._

_He weighed both sides in his mind and wondered, just sometimes, if the wrong side survived. Though, truthfully, he'd rather if no one had to die at all._

_Perhaps it was like his "mentor" often teased. Perhaps he was too soft._

_It wasn't until he was beckoned by his friend to meet by the riverbanks one seemingly unimportant evening that he learned this was true._

_It wasn't until his young brother crossed his path the night of the blood moon that he was grateful for it._

To be continued…

* * *

Author's Note: Just some comments on Izanami and Izanagi. They are the gods believed in ancient Japanese mythology to have created Japan. After Izanami dies during childbirth, Izanagi (her husband) made a venture to the underworld to retrieve her. But she had already eaten the food of the underworld and could no longer return. (Thus she is considered both the goddess of creation and death) After Izanagi returned to the living, he performed a cleansing ritual. As he washed his face, Amaterasu (the sun goddess) fell from his right eye. Tsukiyomi (the moon god) came from his left eye. And Susanou (the storm god) came from his nose.

Since the Mangekyou Sharingan is clearly tied to the sibling trinity, I imagine the presumably more powerful Eternal Mangekyou would be well-suited to match up with the gods of creation and death, no?


	28. Ch 28: Carry You Home

**Regret Not A Thing**

By Mizerable

Ch. 28: Carry You Home

Yugito stared intently at the statue before her. She paid no mind to the cadence of voices swirling around her. There was no point in stemming the blood flowing from her chest; she would need that in good time. Her narrowed cat eyes focused intently on some unseen target.

"Found you."

* * *

Naruto jerked awake, eyes snapped open wide, with no recollection of falling asleep. Hadn't he been…? Been…?

He couldn't remember what he'd been doing. Couldn't remember much of anything. Faces and places slid past the edges of consciousness but he could grasp none of it. He felt like it had been something important. He didn't know why. Didn't know why this blankness of memory didn't bother him.

It took him a moment to register where he actually was, but found he didn't recognize anything.

He was seated at a kitchen table; a rather plain wooden construct at that. He was facing a modest kitchen. Hardwood flooring that gave way to tile. There was a large houseplant in the corner. The place looked rather lived-in, yet everything seemed frozen somehow. As if the seemingly haphazard clutter was right where it was meant to be. Untouched, even.

He momentarily thought he might have still been dreaming, before that idea also fell away from his mind.

"You're early," Naruto jumped at the sound of the voice; he hadn't sensed someone else was in the room with him, "I haven't started dinner yet."

There was a woman standing by the kitchen window worrying at the dishrag in her hands. Naruto's jaw worked to form words but he couldn't shake them free from his throat. Long ginger hair hung loosely down her back, pale eyes, fair skin. He couldn't recall ever seeing her before, yet he had the distinct impression that he ought to know her.

Or, no, that wasn't quite it. Though it was, but there was something more. Maybe it was the orange dress she wore. The color he called his own. He stared at this apparent stranger and felt, just a little, like he was looking at himself.

He knew he knew this woman. Yet he had no memory of her.

It was _this_ gap in his memory that troubled him more than anything else.

* * *

Shikamaru kept his back to the scene unfolding; that second wave of grief lapping at his spine. Not that looking forward was a much more manageable feat. Temari no longer bothered keeping herself propped up. She'd abandoned all pretenses of tending to her wounds and lay flat on her back with her arm cast over her eyes. She'd mumbled some time ago, or what seemed like some time ago, that _"he"_ had been the one to save her brother. She was oddly silent since that (possibly unwilling) admission.

Perhaps she covered her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see Gaara suffer. Or to hide her worry that she didn't know how much he would change (regress) without such a presence in his life.

Shikamaru thought of emotional training and wondered if Temari didn't want him to see her cry.

Upon review, perhaps it was easier to focus on what might be going through her mind rather than his own.

There might be something ironic in that he'd initially believed for a few breaths that his strategy would ultimately succeed. They were banged up, certainly, but they held their own against the _Akatsuki._ But only heartbeats later and one of their own found dead, he could think of no other word but "defeat." The severity of the injuries his comrades had suffered in this battle all suddenly seemed all the worse. All so very _pointless_.

In all his calculations, how was it he never factored in what they would do if Naruto had been caught? Because he hadn't been able to believe that such an indomitable force like Uzumaki Naruto could be killed in such a senseless fashion? He didn't know if that made him arrogant or just plain naïve.

And now? Now he thought about time. And if he would only be able to mark it by the ghosts he kept. Or the bad habits he formed.

He fumbled through his pocket for (Asuma's) cigarettes. He found it odd that his right arm didn't seem willing to move very much. It took a few shuddering moments to remember the numbness trailing down to his fingertips originated from the stab wound in his shoulder. He belatedly realized he was in shock. From injuries and from loss and—

He struggled with the lighter. His hand was slick with blood and it was hard to spark a flame. He grit his teeth around the cigarette in his frustration, his anger. It was easier to focus all he felt on this small task. It distracted him enough to flinch at the unexpected touch against his back. He glanced over his shoulder to meet with Ino's drawn features.

"Let me take a look at your wounds," she spoke softly.

"Save your chakra," he muttered, unable to keep his eyes on her face. After all that happened, and even with others bearing worse wounds than he was, she came to him first like the loyal teammate that she was. Even though he hadn't done much to earn that kind of respect.

"For _what_?"

The hot snap of her voice startled him enough for the cigarette to slip from his mouth. It had been so long, really, since she'd last raised her voice to him about anything. More importantly, when did he accept that Ino being docile as _normal_?

She busied herself with cleaning away the excess blood from his wound with a piece of torn fabric. A constant mutter (about stupid boys and can't they just _think for once_) fluttered under her breath.

For Ino, this was another one of those moments. The shift and slide from one epoch to the next. She'd lived these years with those two timelines running like a chasm through her life. Before and After that fateful mission from four years ago. She could see the cycle getting ready to wind up before her eyes. Where she would offer Shikamaru what little comfort she could muster (while he otherwise fell apart) and she would suffer in isolated silence. Rinse. Repeat.

They weren't supposed to be like this. And they didn't _have_ to be like this. Because life was too short to spend counting only their losses. She couldn't bring the people she loved back once they were gone. But she didn't have to let the rest fade away, so long as she was still here to do something about it.

(And she made a promise, didn't she? That she and Sakura were going to grow into little old ladies…)

_It was not a fairy tale._

Not to mention it would be a damn insult to someone like Naruto if his friends gave up just because things got tough. He certainly never quit. Not even at the end.

"Our lives aren't over yet," she spoke up a little louder. Making sure he heard her. "So don't act like it."

He heard what she wasn't saying, either. She wasn't going to shy away or bend beneath their long-shared sorrow. Ino was going to face her life head-on and no amount of loss was going to shake her resolve again. Because she was lucky enough to still be here. They were all so lucky to still be here.

The corners of his mouth twitched upward. He wasn't ready to smile, not just yet, not here in this place. But suddenly he felt like, yeah, somehow he'd get through this. No amount of pills could replace this kind of faith.

"Damn troublesome woman."

Temari made some sort of choked, aborted noise. Like maybe she wasn't quite ready to laugh, either. But maybe she was starting to think (wish, _hope_) that these Leaf comrades would still stand beside her brother in this. And everything after.

* * *

Lee stood back from the group, left floundering with his indecision. Sakura lay on the floor with her team and it seemed too intimate a scene to intrude upon. Even the way his own teammates huddled in on each other seemed too personal for him to approach. He watched Kankurou caught in his own hesitancy over which of his siblings to stand beside. And Lee thought perhaps now, more than ever, he should let Gaara know he really meant it when he said they were friends. That as much as this hurt, all was not lost.

"What is she doing?"

Lee nearly jumped out of his skin at the abrupt sound of Shino's voice.

"S-she?"

"That Cloud woman."

Admist all the chaos, Lee had nearly forgotten about her. No longer standing by Gaara's side, she now sat in full Lotus with eyes closed and murmuring breath. As they drew closer, they realized there was a darkened wet circle surrounding her that looked rather suspiciously like…

"Miss—"

"Don't," Gaara interrupted any question Lee might have asked.

Though he was close enough now to make out some of her mumbled words.

"…_Last year, this year, the waxing and waning moons,_

_The days, nights, and indivisible time are all impermanent…"_

Shino shifted uncomfortably. His insects buzzed hotly in response to the steadily rising pulse of chakra.

"What is this jutsu?"

"_...we too are face to face with death..."_

"The Nekomata," Gaara's voice had taken on an oddly tight quality. Lee wasn't sure what to call it, that strange feeling of familiarity that only the jinchuuriki could feel towards one another. A closeness that Lee was certain Gaara couldn't even express towards his own siblings.

"It's been said that, as Shuukaku can control sand," he continued, "That the Nekomata's affinity is with Death itself."

"…_the father and the mother,_

_the rain, the blackness,_

_the hurricane,_

_the thunderous sound,_

_the fearful and terrifying experiences,_

_the nature of these and of all phenomena is_

_illusion…"_

"She says…she found Naruto's soul."

* * *

Naruto stood in the kitchen with this stranger of a woman.

(_But I know you, I know you, I know you._)

He didn't know what to say to her. And didn't he have somewhere else to be…?

"I hope your name didn't make you hate ramen," she teased as she put a pot of water on to boil.

There was such a soft gentleness to her. Even the simple gestures of her fixing dinner left him with an inexplicable warmness in his chest. But he couldn't keep his thoughts slipping from him like the tide and contemplated it no further. He could hold onto nothing long enough to ask any of the questions stuck in his throat.

And it was only now, above the steady bubble of water, did he take note of the faint scratching sound coming from behind what he assumed was the front door.

"Oh," the woman was preoccupied with rummaging through the cupboard, "Could you let the cat in?"

Some part of Naruto realized this whole situation should have struck him as unbelievably strange, yet he found it impossible to question any of it for very long. He opened the door to find a pale-furred, bright-eyed cat pacing irritably on the other side. It paused only to give him a rather shrewd look before bolting towards the stairwell at the end of the corridor.

"You'll have to catch it," the woman called from the kitchen, "You won't find it again once the sun goes down."

And this should have been inherently bizarre. It was. Yet Naruto still found himself unable to contemplate anything beyond how long he had until sunset.

* * *

Kakashi charged onward, more bothered now that everything had gotten so remarkably quiet. He barely paused long enough to confirm the body he'd come across, features burned beyond any sort of recongnition, was in fact deceased. Only a strange orange mask lying nearby gave any clues towards the owner's identity. Not that it really mattered much at this point.

But now there was no sound. No fighting. Not chakra weighing down the air. There was no sign of anyone and it left him restless for resolution.

He wouldn't relent until he saw for himself that those reckless tweleve shinobi were found alive.

(Thirteen, he realized, Sasuke would be number thirteen.)

Not that he considered himself a particularly superstitious man.

But.

* * *

Jiraiya, however, ground to a halt. The silence _did_ bother him. The worry _was_ gnawing at his gut. But staring at the slack face of another student of his left him trapped in entropy.

(Though he had no way of knowing it hadn't really been his student—that person was a long-time gone. Hadn't seen the eyes.)

"I'm sorry, you know," he thought of kneeling beside the body; thought better of it, "This wasn't what I meant for you. I thought giving you the ability to defend yourselves would have been enough…"

His hands tightened by his sides and again thought of Orochimaru's suggestion when they'd crossed paths with three Rain orphans all those years ago. And who _really_ benefitted from his choice that day.

"Things were hard for you, weren't they. After…"

(And he'd heard those murmurs coming out of Rain, as isolated and strife-ridden a place as it was. Whispers that Hanzou was dead. As was anyone with any remote connection to him. The chains of hatred coiling around the country's borders like a snake.)

"I bet it must have gotten so _lonely_."

He needed more time. Not that saying anything now was going to change any of this. Or clear his conscience.

(He wouldn't know/realize/accept that none of this was ever his fault.)

But there was sudden static surge of chakra filling up the air and sparking across his skin. Felt like a storm on the horizon and he knew there was no time left.

* * *

Naruto raced through the time-frozen streets of Konoha, managing to just keep sight of the cat as it rounded corners and charged down alleyways. But he didn't seem capable of getting any closer to it. Set as he was in his task, it did not strike him odd that the Village was ultimately empty. No people. No sounds. No wind.

The sun dropped lower on the horizon.

They made it to the outskirts, towards the riverbanks. The old shrine. The tatami mat already pulled aside and Naruto spotted the cat's tail just as it descended the carved stone stairs. And he didn't remember the stairs being quite so steep before, or going on this far before.

When he reached the landing, his feet splashed in ankle-high water. Piping and service lights loomed overhead.

He knew this place. Knew it deeper than his own bones.

The dim lighting flickered overhead. In the strobe-journey deeper and deeper underground, Naruto thought he saw things that were not there. Sometimes that cat seemed to glow a faint shimmering blue. Sometimes he thought it had two tails instead of one. And this should have mattered to him. It should have. He couldn't remember why.

They came upon a thick steel door, seemingly caught open just wide enough for water to sluice through. Or a cat to squeeze through. But Naruto was committed. He led in with his shoulder and gave the door a good set of shoves before fitting himself through.

He found himself before the cage. Its bars were rusted and moss-covered; the ofuda sealing it shut yellowed and water-stained. That cat paced with that same sense of impatience with its tail(s?) thrashing about. But the cage was silent. Naruto stared into the endless abyss of it in search of what he knew should have been there. His memories were seemingly unavailable, his feelings flowing by too fast to retain, but this was knowledge he could never forget.

He knew damn well what belonged behind those bars. Knew that the abyss should have stared back.

"You're more stubborn than I thought," the voice rumbled; it sounded distant and underwater, "To think I'd end up having to put up with a mangy feline like you."

It occurred to Naruto that maybe he should find it a little bit strange that the fox seemed interested in talking to the _cat_. Or that the fox should sound so far away and just how deep was that cage…? Or that the cat, small and ultimately insignificant, could manage to look so smug. Yet Naruto found himself moving ever closer towards those bars. Because he wants…wants…

(To understand? Remember? Connect??)

"I wouldn't get to much closer," there was a voice by his ear and a hand on his shoulder, "Even cutting things this close, the Kyuubi is not a weak creature."

Naruto turned slowly, unreasonably hesitant, to look upon the face of the man he idolized his entire life.

"Yondaime," the fox gave a tinny, echoing growl, "How dare you show your face after what you did to me!!"

"Well. I never _wanted_ to see you again. But I had things set up so that I could fix the seal if it was ever weakened this much."

Naruto merely stared at him in muted shock. At any other time, he might have angrily questioned why the fox had even been shoved inside him in the first place. But even these feelings would not stay with him.

"Besides," Minato continued on casually, "Even _you_ have to agree that my being here wound up benefitting you now."

_Because neither Naruto nor the Kyuubi could survive without the other now._

Minato touched the ofuda and it flashed once before returning to crisp white, the bars solid steel once more. Then, of all things, he reached down to scoop up the cat.

"I'm sorry we don't have more time to talk," he admitted, offering Naruto a wry sort of smile.

"I—There was so much I wanted to ask you," Naruto wanted to feel angry that he couldn't keep hold of the questions as the drifted from his mind. And now it strangely felt like his entire self was being pulled somewhere. It was all too much at once.

(And wasn't there something else he should be doing?)

"And there is so much I wanted to _tell_ you," Minato agreed, "…And I'm sorry we never got to have dinner together. The three of us."

Naruto saw her so clearly for one blinding moment. A ginger-haired woman in a sun soaked kitchen in late afternoon. He could only give his own weak smile in reply.

"You owe me a bowl of ramen."

It earned him a laugh from Minato. In return, it gave Naruto that same warm feeling that woman left in him.

"You do live up to your name," Minato teased, "It is a _hero's_ name, you know."

"…A hero?"

"Here," Minato held out the cat, "You should be heading back. They're waiting for you."

And there was that nagging feeling again. That sense that he was supposed to be doing something else. Something important.

He took that cat in his arms and his skin tingled at the touch of its fur. It didn't feel like fur. It thrumed in his arms like pure energy.

Like pure chakra.

* * *

A flash of light.

A sense of surfacing from beneath a deep ocean.

Naruto came up choking and clawing for air. He blinked rapidly to clear his blurred vision, waited for the white noise flooding his ears to grow quiet. When he regained enough sense of self, felt the cold bite of stone against his back, the first thing he achingly thought of was home. Family. He couldn't explain why.

But then he noticed his hand held in an iron grip.

He turned his head slowly, unsure of what he'd see, and found himself face to face with Sasuke. And wondered if he was actually awake. Features worn and withdrawn, but two charcoal eyes stared back at him. Naruto, of all people, couldn't think of what to say. Sasuke, of all people, took the initiative.

"Dumbass."

"Nice too see you too, asshole," Naruto managed a sleepy grin.

"Can't you two go five minutes without picking a fight??" Sakura complained as she struggled to sit up.

Sasuke, with his weak and trembling left hand, took hold of her arm and silently urged her to settle back down. Exhausted (relieved) as she was, she didn't bother to press the issue.

Naruto wanted to tell Sakura that he known she'd succeed at healing Sasuke. Especially with Hinata's help. But he found himself floundering. Tried to fill in the gaps of what led to this moment. He remembered (rather stupidly) getting caught, a great sense of_ burning_, then…Something safe, warm. He felt its absence somehow, whatever it might have been. But as he tried to piece together this jigsaw timeline, he had more questions than his mind could even process. So he went with the first one that came to mind.

"Where's Hin—"

"N-Naruto-kun?"

Naruto found it hard to turn his head to the other side; his body seemingly stiff and slow to respond. Even then, he found himself facing Hinata's knees. It took a moment for him to manage looking up at her.

Tears clung stubbornly to her eyelashes, though their tracks carved out distinct paths through the dirt smudging her cheeks. She was worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth, fidgeting with the cuffs of her sleeves, seemingly caught between feeling disbelief and giddy relief. Or, if Naruto had a bit more clarity of mind, like she was trying to make a very important decision.

She exhaled a shaky breath and looked like she wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come.

"Hey, it's okay—" Naruto tried to reassure her.

But then she leaned forward; the briefest press of her lips against his. She sat back so quickly that if it weren't for her reddening cheeks, he might not have believed anything happened at all. He sputtered for a moment as he tried to process everything as it happened. But then his trademark fox grin spread across his face.

"Heh, maybe I should get hurt more often."

Hinata squeaked with embarrassment, and Naruto was pretty sure both of his teammates were muttering under their breath about his idiocy. Hell, even Neji sounded scandalized from across the room.

But the moment's weary humor subsided as Kakashi and Jiraiya appeared at the entrance one after the other. The men stood frozen as they took in the sight of the young men and women before them. Dirtied, bloodied children that, despite what their terrible imaginations had conjured up, were all very much _alive._

The pair both invariable were drawn towards the trio sprawled out in the middle of the cavern.

"You—you're all—" Kakashi didn't even know where to begin with his wayward students. Wasn't sure if he should be praising them or scolding them. Sasuke invariably remained silent, but the other two looked up at him and spoke as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

"You're late."

"Ah," Kakashi tried to quell that bubble of nervous laughter threatening to choke him, "I got held up trying to think of a good excuse not to come here."

He thought he heard Sakura mutter that that was lame even for him. But it was lost beneath the violent shudder that monstrous statue gave. A large chunk of it dropped off and smashed into the stone floor.

He glanced briefly at a young women seemingly wearing the uniform of a Cloud shinobi. He could briefly make out her advising Gaara that things put into the statue evidently weren't meant to be taken out. He'd have to inquire about what that entailed later. At the present moment, it was a scramble of the less injured shouldering the weight of their wounded comrades as they prepared to make a run for it. This place was going to come down around them at a moment's notice.

Everything seemed to move slow and quick all in the same breath. Lee was kneeling down and hoisting Sakura onto his back with brisk yet softened motions. It spoke of injuries that Kakashi didn't have time to contemplate just yet. Jiraiya was offering the same treatment to Naruto. Beneath those rushed movements were murmured platitudes sounding too apologetic for him to feel comfortable overhearing. Kakashi instead focused his attention on Sasuke.

Sasuke, with his carefully masked expression, stared up at him with two dark eyes.

"You didn't have to come here."

And they've had this conversation before, haven't they?

"It's never stopped me before," Kakashi replied evenly as he stood, Sasuke's weight light against his back. He couldn't explain why this surprises him.

It wasn't until they'd cleared the cave, dust rising in the distance after its inevitable collapse. Not until after one of Kakashi's other ninja dogs came rushing through the woods to let them know Ibiki's people were on their way to clean up whatever was still salvageable, that Sasuke spoke again.

"Thank you."

It felt strange for him to say it now, considering everything that was tied up in his memories of those two words.

"It's no trouble," Kakashi obliged, "To do at least this much."

_Considering how much more I should have done before._

"No—I meant," Sasuke's fingers tightened around their hold on Kakashi's flak jacket, "Before. That first day back."

Oh.

The image of Sasuke beneath that tree, half-feral with a knife pressed against his own throat, before Kakashi eased it away from him. Made him survive that immediate aftermath. So that he could have this chance at reckless heroics that he couldn't have remotely foreseen in those first breaths after Itachi—

_Oh._

"…It was no trouble."

* * *

It was slow goings on the way back to Konoha. Without the constant flow of adrenaline and fear to speed their blood, it was a tedious and exhausted trek home broken up by pauses to change bandages. Very few words were said by anyone; only tenative and hopeful glances passed between the ragged group.

(Though if Naruto and Hinata shared a few stolen, tenative kisses, no one made any note of it.)

And one might have thought, all things considered, that things had gone too smoothly for too long.

The gates were in their sights now, a precious thing of beauty, when the group could make out Shizune racing up to meet them.

"Ah, they've even sent a beautiful welcoming party for us," Jiraiya joked as he shifted Naruto's weight. He pointedly ignored Naruto's protests that he wasn't a child, could walk perfectly fine on his own, and weren't you getting tired, old man?

Shizune was out of breath, looking tense and frantic. Something wasn't right.

She bipassed Jiraiya and Kakashi, and oddly enough approached Gaara. And in turn, Yugito floating beside him on a sand cloud.

"I'm sorry," Shizune kept her eyes firmly averted.

"I understand," Yugito sounded resigned, "I know our villages aren't on good terms—"

Shizune shook her head.

"It's not that. They're not letting _any_ foreigners in."

"What happened?" Kakashi asked as Sasuke's fingers tightened their hold again.

"Sand is only a couple of days away," Temari spoke up.

"Temari, your injuries—" Kankurou tried to intercede.

"We'll manage," she bit out gruffly.

"We'll be in touch," Gaara made the decision final.

Naruto managed to pull away from Jiraiya's hold and swayed briefly on his feet. Both Gaara and Yugito took his arms to steady him and remained there for a moment. The three felt the inexplicable pull of their bond as jinchuuriki as they stood together.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Naruto declared.

There was more he wanted to say to her. He'd been told in bits and pieces what happened during that "lost" time. No one seemed to want to come right out and say it, but Naruto got the gist. He knew what Yugito had done for him. And he wasn't going to forget that. Wasn't going to let _anyone_ forget what a stranger, on paper what amounted to an enemy ninja, had done for him.

"We'll see you soon," Yugito acknowledged.

She, in turn, unable to forget that shimmering sense of hope that complete strangers would in turn rescue her from dying alone so far from home.

The feeling of another hand pressing prayer beads against her palm in the dark.

* * *

It was with great trepidition that the group walked into Konoha. Tsunade was standing there waiting for them looking terrifically angry about something.

"What's going on?" Jiraiya asked her in low tones.

"The usual," Tsunade all but hissed under her breath, "Always win big before some disasterous happens."

Before he could ask any further questions, Danzou came forward flanked by Anbu.

"Uchiha Sasuke," he called out.

Sasuke stiffened against Kakashi's back but remained silent.

"You are under arrest for fleeing confinement pending from your initial capture on charges of treason and dereliction of duty."

The eruption of outraged shouting was to be expected. Sasuke climbing down and forcing himself to walk forward with his jaw clenched tight was not.

"Sasuke!" Naruto caught him by the wrist, "You can't seriously be planning to go along with this crap!"

Sasuke gave him a baleful look, as if he couldn't believe Naruto wasn't going along with him.

"And you, Uzumaki Naruto," Danzou spoke again as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Are to be held in confinement for recklessly endangering the ninja world by unleashing the power of the Nine Tails."

There was naturally more shouting in response to this announcement. But strangely none of it came from Naruto. He glanced briefly at Tsunade's tight-lipped expression before sharing another rather pointed look with Sasuke when something clicked.

He allowed the Anbu to snap the shackles around his wrists and lead him away. Even though it hurt like hell to listen to Hinata's stuttered sobbing. Or Sakura's furied cussing.

_Sasuke, you crazy bastard. I sure as hell wish I knew what the hell you were scheming at this time._

* * *

_Being this way, being carried this way, reminded him of being small. It should have crippled him with humiliation. But things being as they were, it was really the least of his concerns._

_But the truth of it, the stark and honest things he could scarecely admit to himself, was that he had longed for this._

_There was too much history between them now, so much of it violently unpleasant. But pressed against his back like this with nothing but unending road stretched before them let him wind back the clock for at least a brief bit of time. It felt frighteningly like freedom._

_Safe and comforting things that he could barely recall. Things he didn't dare speak of._

_(It felt like coming home.)_

To be continued...

* * *

A/N: Yugito's prayer is an excerpt from Gyurme Dorje's translation of _The Tibetan Book of the Dead._


End file.
